Thanks to @VickyVodka for the thread title 
Last thread recap:
- Rabies is, as always, a ginormous bleep
- she doesn't work either full or part time, and can't be arsed to parent her kids and step kids.
- Joshua Marshall was dismissed without notice from Devon and Cornwall Police for improperly accessing the police database, and using a false identity to contact members of the public.
- poor old Cunty Carol has caught Wilby's conjunctivitis (no doubt during one of his meltdowns when he's been headbutting her). Apparently "pink eye" and piles feel exactly the same, apart from where they are on your body. They've "argued every day with every kid" (except the ones that don't live there). Isaac was going to the cinema with his cousin and some friends, took Rabid's debit card to buy some sweets, and spent £59. Tell me your stepchild has no concept of money, without telling me etc. Despite Rambo and Wibble both having conjunctivitis, they're going out for the day. Bit of moaning about Seb drinking orange juice out of the bottle and cleaning his trainers with the dishcloth.
- off out for the day with only one of their children, to a farm park place, where they had to ask a staff member to let them out through a back gate so that Wibbler didn't see the "shop full of dinosaurs" and have a meltdown. Joyce's head still seems to be attached to his body, well done to the surgeon who reattached it so well you can't even see where it was "sliced open". They had to spend "90%" of the day sat on the floor because all Wobbly wanted to do was go back to the toy shop.
- later, on PatreCON, Not a PC NoBalls was rummaging around in Lula's bedroom commenting on the mess, while Fungus Flaps filmed him while laughing and reminding him what his therapist said ("don't own it").
- as predicted, poor old Conjunctivitis Clare now has it in both eyes. Luckily she was able to drag herself into a too-large pair of jeans, some hideous trainers, and what looks like a Mulberry scarf to go out for the day, just her and Sloshua. How nice for the "mama of loads of kids" to have so much time away from all of them! They got a steam train (a snip at £44) followed by a ferry, to go and have an expensive roast dinner. Luckily every business in Torbay takes fresh air as payment, what a relief, they didn't have to find the £75 minimum (not including drinks) for their lush meal.
- back at the murder mansion, Joyce thought he was salt bae throwing salt over some prawns (probably an undeclared and, seeing as they were from the company Doormat Jo's partner works for). head Dave told Seb that if he ate the prawns, he couldn't come and sit in the lounge.
- desperately trying to prove that Isaac hasn't actually moved out, Rashflaps shared a photo of Gangsta Granny with Seb, Isaac and Edie. Unfortunately, GG, Isaac and Edie were all wearing exactly the same outfits as they were in the last photo of them, from several days ago.
- Facebook Freda's back, posting a long, rambling tale of how she's not waiting up to find out where Wilbert's going to school, because Bratsy didn't get the school she wanted and she's turned out just fine! Yep, a post about Wilby turned into a vomfest about the favourite child
anyway, she clearly did stay up, because in the morning a screenshot of the offer showed it had been taken at 00:09 (even though it had the wrong date of birth). Her post says that he didn't get offered a place they had put on the list or viewed. That's the next couple of months' content sorted then, moaning about that
- many, many, many videos of reciting The Gruffalo with Wilbert
- on PatreCON, Rambo claims that TDAS have stopped delivering the Freedom course, and have referred all their ladies over to the Snatchwork Shitshow. She also feels that she's not giving enough to Patreon, and some people say that she's "giving more to PTWM". She's back writing on Facebook (yeah, we noticed). She wants to get back into advertising because she's "been really tit with that". More like you got cocky about how much you could make flogging your own tit through the tat shop and REBL
she wants to get back to it because it's where her income comes from WHAT ABOUT THE 16 GRAND A MONTH YOU'RE TAKING ON PATREON, EG RAQ? Apparently every month Jo tells her they're not going to make the wages. She needs PTWM to pay for Snatchwork (basically, don't you dare stop subscribing and buying my tat, otherwise you may as well be abusing women yourselves). She read the acknowledgments on her first book, and "half the people on there turned out to be absolute cunts hahaha". For reference, the list is: Josh, Tallulah, Edie, My boys, John, Matt, Sammy, Aunt Marg and Uncle John, Nana Ethel, Lianne, Han, Mummy Marshall, Jo, Mel, Bex, Leila, Kate, Kel, Josephine, Han, Keith and Net, Elsie, Mia, My nieces and nephews, Gayle, Tracy, Simone, Stace, Emma, Dave, My crew, Gabriella. She apparently got "a business loan" for Ethel's £8k vet bill, which she hasn't paid back yet. I wasn't aware you could get business loans to pay personal expenses 
and at the time she said that Jo was transferring the money from the PTWM account so I would assume that rather than a "business loan", she actually borrowed the money off her own business account, which isn't the same thing
- maybe the Educational Psychologist Rancid claimed to be meeting has told her she needs to start playing and interacting with Wilbob, without the camera in front of her face. So instead she set it up in his room and played dinosaurs with him. Very awkward, talking in a monotone voice, basically acting like she's never met him, let alone played with an almost 4 year old
she managed to end the session by saying "oh tit, the bath" as if she'd left it running. Sure, Jan.
- the book tour/meet and greet/arse kissing session in Totnes hasn't sold out yet, quick huns, get your tickets!
- in the hobbit loft, Rancid came on because she's had so many messages asking how she got on with the Educational Psychologist. He said that Wilbert has developed loads since the report done when he started preschool last year (well duh, he's spending time learning and being interacted with, instead of left alone in his room with an iPad). He's not going to get an EHCP, which Ratchet is gutted about probably because it doesn't fit with the "non verbal, level 3 autistic" story she's been pushing for the last 18 months. They're going to look at the school that was allocated to him because they haven't looked at it at all, but of course when the Torbay Tart emailed them they were "really lush". She then tried ever so hard to push out some tears, but none were forthcoming. She's "never been here before", as all her other kids were able to tell her if they weren't happy. Despite the fact Wilby wanders the house saying "where is my family, I'm lost" he has an NHS diagnosis so will get some SEN support. She was worried that he'll just leave his preschool and then she'll rock up to a brand new primary school and just leave him in September. She seems to think that transition meetings and sessions are a special provision just for the son of the Torbay Saviour, when having already had 3 children before, she'd KNOW that all schools do this he "doesn't cope well with new places" even though he's out at a different restaurant for his dinner every night of the week 
it sounds like the Ed Psych has given them a lesson in very basic parenting, giving the child simple choices to help them cope and feel like they're in control. Hard to believe that the gruesome twosome have produced 5 previous kids between them and don't already know things like this. Anyway, back to BV Barbara and how all this effects the most important person - herself. She's made friends with a couple of other mums (even after she swore she'd never make any friends ever again because of previously choosing "unsafe" people) and she was hoping the kids would go to school together and she could use the other mums as unpaid childcare. One of her biggest chrolls is from the school playground she reckons she hasn't really done the school run since 2019 because of the chrolls (but we thought you said you strutted into the playground like Beyonce not giving a duck?). Edie's "never had a mum that's picked her up and dropped her off"
- a quick guilt trip on Bratsy for not ringing "the third time since you've been away we've gone 24 hours without me hearing your voice, let's not let this become a regular thing" AKA I'm funding your extended holiday and don't you dare forget it imagine being 18, pissing off to travel around another part of the world, and your mum whinging because you didn't call her one day. Let the poor bleeping girl just live her life for once.
-
Running total of overnight breaks away since Joyce started his career break on 15 June:
Night at Herpes Lodge (midweek)
Night in Exeter (Saturday)
Night in London (midweek)
July:
Joyce's birthday - one night at Boringdon Hall (midweek), then two nights (Friday and Saturday) in a lodge in Cornwall with Arsetrid and Simon.
October:
Herpes Lodge (weekend), night in London (mid week in half term), Friday night in Southampton
November - 2 nights in London (Sunday and Monday)
December - 5 nights in Jubai
January - 1 night in London (Miss Greedy's book launch)
February - 1 night in London after dropping Betsy at the airport
March - 1 night in Birmingham (book signings)
If you are new, please read the wiki (pink button at the top) and if you are in need of support or advice in relation to domestic abuse, there are some links and helplines listed at the bottom of the wiki page
Last thread recap:
- Rabies is, as always, a ginormous bleep
- she doesn't work either full or part time, and can't be arsed to parent her kids and step kids.
- Joshua Marshall was dismissed without notice from Devon and Cornwall Police for improperly accessing the police database, and using a false identity to contact members of the public.
- poor old Cunty Carol has caught Wilby's conjunctivitis (no doubt during one of his meltdowns when he's been headbutting her). Apparently "pink eye" and piles feel exactly the same, apart from where they are on your body. They've "argued every day with every kid" (except the ones that don't live there). Isaac was going to the cinema with his cousin and some friends, took Rabid's debit card to buy some sweets, and spent £59. Tell me your stepchild has no concept of money, without telling me etc. Despite Rambo and Wibble both having conjunctivitis, they're going out for the day. Bit of moaning about Seb drinking orange juice out of the bottle and cleaning his trainers with the dishcloth.
- off out for the day with only one of their children, to a farm park place, where they had to ask a staff member to let them out through a back gate so that Wibbler didn't see the "shop full of dinosaurs" and have a meltdown. Joyce's head still seems to be attached to his body, well done to the surgeon who reattached it so well you can't even see where it was "sliced open". They had to spend "90%" of the day sat on the floor because all Wobbly wanted to do was go back to the toy shop.
- later, on PatreCON, Not a PC NoBalls was rummaging around in Lula's bedroom commenting on the mess, while Fungus Flaps filmed him while laughing and reminding him what his therapist said ("don't own it").
- as predicted, poor old Conjunctivitis Clare now has it in both eyes. Luckily she was able to drag herself into a too-large pair of jeans, some hideous trainers, and what looks like a Mulberry scarf to go out for the day, just her and Sloshua. How nice for the "mama of loads of kids" to have so much time away from all of them! They got a steam train (a snip at £44) followed by a ferry, to go and have an expensive roast dinner. Luckily every business in Torbay takes fresh air as payment, what a relief, they didn't have to find the £75 minimum (not including drinks) for their lush meal.
- back at the murder mansion, Joyce thought he was salt bae throwing salt over some prawns (probably an undeclared and, seeing as they were from the company Doormat Jo's partner works for). head Dave told Seb that if he ate the prawns, he couldn't come and sit in the lounge.
- desperately trying to prove that Isaac hasn't actually moved out, Rashflaps shared a photo of Gangsta Granny with Seb, Isaac and Edie. Unfortunately, GG, Isaac and Edie were all wearing exactly the same outfits as they were in the last photo of them, from several days ago.
- Facebook Freda's back, posting a long, rambling tale of how she's not waiting up to find out where Wilbert's going to school, because Bratsy didn't get the school she wanted and she's turned out just fine! Yep, a post about Wilby turned into a vomfest about the favourite child
anyway, she clearly did stay up, because in the morning a screenshot of the offer showed it had been taken at 00:09 (even though it had the wrong date of birth). Her post says that he didn't get offered a place they had put on the list or viewed. That's the next couple of months' content sorted then, moaning about that - many, many, many videos of reciting The Gruffalo with Wilbert
- on PatreCON, Rambo claims that TDAS have stopped delivering the Freedom course, and have referred all their ladies over to the Snatchwork Shitshow. She also feels that she's not giving enough to Patreon, and some people say that she's "giving more to PTWM". She's back writing on Facebook (yeah, we noticed). She wants to get back into advertising because she's "been really tit with that". More like you got cocky about how much you could make flogging your own tit through the tat shop and REBL
she wants to get back to it because it's where her income comes from WHAT ABOUT THE 16 GRAND A MONTH YOU'RE TAKING ON PATREON, EG RAQ? Apparently every month Jo tells her they're not going to make the wages. She needs PTWM to pay for Snatchwork (basically, don't you dare stop subscribing and buying my tat, otherwise you may as well be abusing women yourselves). She read the acknowledgments on her first book, and "half the people on there turned out to be absolute cunts hahaha". For reference, the list is: Josh, Tallulah, Edie, My boys, John, Matt, Sammy, Aunt Marg and Uncle John, Nana Ethel, Lianne, Han, Mummy Marshall, Jo, Mel, Bex, Leila, Kate, Kel, Josephine, Han, Keith and Net, Elsie, Mia, My nieces and nephews, Gayle, Tracy, Simone, Stace, Emma, Dave, My crew, Gabriella. She apparently got "a business loan" for Ethel's £8k vet bill, which she hasn't paid back yet. I wasn't aware you could get business loans to pay personal expenses and at the time she said that Jo was transferring the money from the PTWM account so I would assume that rather than a "business loan", she actually borrowed the money off her own business account, which isn't the same thing - maybe the Educational Psychologist Rancid claimed to be meeting has told her she needs to start playing and interacting with Wilbob, without the camera in front of her face. So instead she set it up in his room and played dinosaurs with him. Very awkward, talking in a monotone voice, basically acting like she's never met him, let alone played with an almost 4 year old
she managed to end the session by saying "oh tit, the bath" as if she'd left it running. Sure, Jan. - the book tour/meet and greet/arse kissing session in Totnes hasn't sold out yet, quick huns, get your tickets!
- in the hobbit loft, Rancid came on because she's had so many messages asking how she got on with the Educational Psychologist. He said that Wilbert has developed loads since the report done when he started preschool last year (well duh, he's spending time learning and being interacted with, instead of left alone in his room with an iPad). He's not going to get an EHCP, which Ratchet is gutted about
probably because it doesn't fit with the "non verbal, level 3 autistic" story she's been pushing for the last 18 months. They're going to look at the school that was allocated to him because they haven't looked at it at all, but of course when the Torbay Tart emailed them they were "really lush". She then tried ever so hard to push out some tears, but none were forthcoming. She's "never been here before", as all her other kids were able to tell her if they weren't happy. Despite the fact Wilby wanders the house saying "where is my family, I'm lost" he has an NHS diagnosis so will get some SEN support. She was worried that he'll just leave his preschool and then she'll rock up to a brand new primary school and just leave him in September. She seems to think that transition meetings and sessions are a special provision just for the son of the Torbay Saviour, when having already had 3 children before, she'd KNOW that all schools do this he "doesn't cope well with new places" even though he's out at a different restaurant for his dinner every night of the week it sounds like the Ed Psych has given them a lesson in very basic parenting, giving the child simple choices to help them cope and feel like they're in control. Hard to believe that the gruesome twosome have produced 5 previous kids between them and don't already know things like this. Anyway, back to BV Barbara and how all this effects the most important person - herself. She's made friends with a couple of other mums (even after she swore she'd never make any friends ever again because of previously choosing "unsafe" people) and she was hoping the kids would go to school together and she could use the other mums as unpaid childcare. One of her biggest chrolls is from the school playground she reckons she hasn't really done the school run since 2019 because of the chrolls (but we thought you said you strutted into the playground like Beyonce not giving a duck?). Edie's "never had a mum that's picked her up and dropped her off"- a quick guilt trip on Bratsy for not ringing "the third time since you've been away we've gone 24 hours without me hearing your voice, let's not let this become a regular thing" AKA I'm funding your extended holiday and don't you dare forget it
imagine being 18, pissing off to travel around another part of the world, and your mum whinging because you didn't call her one day. Let the poor bleeping girl just live her life for once.-
Running total of overnight breaks away since Joyce started his career break on 15 June:
Night at Herpes Lodge (midweek)
Night in Exeter (Saturday)
Night in London (midweek)
July:
Joyce's birthday - one night at Boringdon Hall (midweek), then two nights (Friday and Saturday) in a lodge in Cornwall with Arsetrid and Simon.
October:
Herpes Lodge (weekend), night in London (mid week in half term), Friday night in Southampton
November - 2 nights in London (Sunday and Monday)
December - 5 nights in Jubai
January - 1 night in London (Miss Greedy's book launch)
February - 1 night in London after dropping Betsy at the airport
March - 1 night in Birmingham (book signings)
If you are new, please read the wiki (pink button at the top) and if you are in need of support or advice in relation to domestic abuse, there are some links and helplines listed at the bottom of the wiki page
