I had decided not to comment again, as I do respect that people wanted to maintain this as a support thread, rather than debate the couple or discuss varying opinions. But since this pertains specific to me and to my earlier comments- I am just responding to that and clarifying what I mean. I enjoy reading this thread- most people seem reasonable and I enjoy hearing other people’s perspectives. None of us know the couple, so it can be fun to just talk about things and I am a big fan of using dialogue to affect change. Uncomfortable conversations are important, even if people don’t agree.
I do not mean to appear to be a “humble bragger” or to be annoying- I was just speaking as a woman in a mixed race relationship, who has had her in-laws raise questions about how my babies will look. I also respond as someone who is trained not to accept a fact as a fact, without proof and to look at situations critically.
There was a lot of inconsistencies and downright inaccuracies in that interview that make me question everything they said, especially the comment about Archies skin- because their stories didn’t match at all about it. That combined with the other inaccuracies in the interview leaves the whole issue of “racism” open to scrutiny.
My problem comes with the contention what we must believe Meghan, when her story wasn’t the same as Harry, the only person who was there when it was said. He’s also the person of the royal family who has made the most prolific displays of racism. When people forgave Harry for his blatant displays- context and ignorance was given as an excuse and it’s been accepted. Why can the same not be given in this situation, or at least questioned?
The incident to which they referred occurred at an unclear time- Meghan said the unknown person brought up the skin colour of the baby when she was pregnant and heavily implied that not titling Archie HRH was because of his potential skin colour. Even though most of what she said on this was more “implication” that outright accusations- her story look like she was personalising and sensationalising an issue currently receiving a lot of traction for gain- I only say this because her story doesn’t match the person who heard the comment and his account was far less loaded. Harry said something ambiguous was said before the couple were married and did not say they were referring to Archie. He’s also a white man and with his history I think it’s reasonable to question his interpretation of racism- he also seemed surprised when Oprah said it to him. I don’t think he knew Meghan was going to bring it up. When their stories didn’t match- it made me angry because everything else said- whether true or not, is now open to dispute and that does a disservice to those who promote and advocate for equality.
In *my* experience, when people ask about what my babies will look like- they have literally asked will they get my skin or my husbands arse and freckles. My “evidence” that it’s not meant in a racist way- every other action my in-laws have taken since I’ve been with my husband. Meghan was not in the room and we are relying on Harry’s interpretation of what was said to have been mentioned once. She appeared to be welcomed into the family, was able to pick her charities, Charles walked her down the aisle, etc. I just don’t think she understood the pecking order of the institution the constraints of the role until after the wedding.
I drew parallels to my own experience because context (in my opinion) matters specifically when this type of commentary happens- some people literally want to know what a child will look like. Curiously asking a question isn’t racist- if they said “you do know the baby could be black, maybe think more carefully” would be racist- the context of what was said is crucial.
We live in an era where historically marginalized and oppressed populations are empowered to speak up and have their voices heard. As an ethnic minority woman, who had uni paid for through scholarships and grants- I am so glad to see people who look like me represented and having their lived experiences heard. However, I also feel very strongly that when people accuse people of sexism,
homophobia or racism, without saying what was said or in a way that it can be contested (they never said anyone was “racist” they referenced one specific event that I believe has an important contextual elements) it creates further division. All it takes is one disproven allegation to set back equality movements.
I don’t like either couple 
. It's not a popular or easy job being a mod, but we try our best.
Two brothers (who may or may not like each other) walking beside each other making small talk at their grandfather’s funeral? Shocking!