"Um, well I finally, I- I did actually get some form of closure from Sam, er, and it's, actually turns out he didn't care at all about the message about the strawberries and all that. [Note: Just a few mins earlier, Alex had told of how she said to Sam that she hoped the strawberries were worth it, as he apparently thought (in her mind) his hydroponic strawberries were more important than visiting her and helping her through a divorce.] He didn't even care in the slightest. Um, he - after the divorce, after the papers were signed and Dan cut me off, um, Sa- I said to Sam like, um, [here she reads from a text message on her phone] "I can't do this alone, it's hard being here and having everyone in Sydney ignoring me and I have no idea why, can you please help me understand" and he said "I'll do my best to give you my perspective. Since November when you upgraded your life to live in Tasmania, every step of the way you've tried to play yourself as the victim when in reality every choice you made was yours alone. Really, I think the reason everyone here is ignoring you might be due to the fact that we've seen how much of an manipulative liar you are and likely have always been. The last straw for me was the 10 part series you put up on Instagram. I could sit here and poke holes in it all day, but I really only need to go as far as the first paragraph to know that I'm done with you. For starters, airing that out online in front of an audience of over a 100k strong is a dick move, but you went so far as to blame Dan for everything." and he goes into some details about, basically, that, for those of you that saw that Instagram story, he talks about that Instagram story. And I went back and I said "As hard as it is for me to read, I appreciate beyond words that you took the time to write to me and give me some perspective. I don't wanna start an argument but I do wanna give my side regarding the two points that you mentioned." er, and I discuss - I talk to him about my perspective, um, I say specifically, um, lemme - I'm just gonna scroll past some private things that no one should talk about online [like THIS ENTIRE MESSAGE EXCHANGE, ALEX???], um, and I said "In regards to the pets-" cause he brought up the pet thing, um, "in regards to the pets mum told me she went to the house and found the dead birds and when I got on the plane I found some birds dead in the house. And he told me he rehoused the Pomeranian Pouters, but when I pushed him on it he admitted he chucked them in the garden and they disappeared after a few days. I'd asked him not to rehome those birds, they would've died as soon as they hopped the fence." Um, I said "I believe everything that I say however I don't think I'm -" Oh, sorry, I should actually, I should read the rest of his things, there's some missing context, um, he said, hang on, let me just go back up, um. Okay, you know what, I may as well just read the whole thing. Why the duck not, we're this far. Um, he said "So", with the part - he said putting this out in front of 100k on Instagram is a dick move, "But you went so far as to blame Dan for everything." Then he said "Did you completely forget I was there all those years ago and you told me you weren't even gonna tell Dan about" - insert specific thing that happened here - "And the reason that you did was because you needed his help financially. You tell the world that 'if she keeps the child he will leave her' but in fact if you had the money at the time he wouldn't have known he might've been a father." He is referencing this very specific thing that probably shouldn't be aired out online. "You give actual victims a bad name and frankly, you should be ashamed. You claimed he was neglecting your pets, the dozens upon dozens birds that you left him with that he had to take care of whilst still holding down a job every Monday to Friday while you were in Tasmania.
I was there as he fed them, watered them, had custom bird crates made to get them to you in Tasmania, and he was the neglectful one? If I had the energy or inclination, I could point to you any number of reasons why I won't tolerate you in my life, but I know it would make little difference. Either you truly believe everything you say and you're ignorant beyond salvation, or you're fully aware of your lies and you just don't care. Either way, it's not worth my time. After seeing who you truly are, I cannot and will not subject myself to such a friendship any longer. Regards, Sam." So, then I said to him, um, "When I first found out about - specific incident here - as you know, I freaked out and I didn't wanna go ahead, but I had to wait several weeks before I could go ahead with it. And during that time, Dan and I had a lot of conversations and I expressed that I reached a point during the waiting period when I decided I did wanna go ahead. He gave me an ultimatum, he told me if I went ahead he'd leave me because he couldn't be a dad and finish his degree and our lives would be ruined. It hurts so much more than it ever did before because he ended up leaving me anyway. If I'd known he'd leave me either way, I'd gone ahead with it. My mum's in hospital right now, serious and for years I've been terrified that my parents will never meet my children. It's something Dan and I talked about a lot and he knows the mental toll the whole thing had on me. In regards to the pets, mum told me she went to the house and found four dead birds. Some looked like they'd been dead for several days. When I got on the plane and arrived, there were birds in the MDF pigeon house, the one with the different compartments, that had no food and their water bowls were bone-dry. There was a dead bird in the bottom left box, a dead baby under one of the parents and no food or water anywhere. He also told me he rehomed me the Pomeranian Pouters, but after I pushed it with him, he admitted he chucked them out to the garden and they disappeared after a few days. I'd specifically asked him not to rehome those ones, one of them was my Facebook profile photo. Because they can't fly, they would've died as soon as they hopped the fence. I do truly believe everything I say, however I don't think that I'm 'ignorant beyond salvation'. I think it's important to hear other people's perspectives and there were times where Dan completely cut me off and didn't communicate anything to me at all and I didn't hear from anyone else either. I can only go off my own feelings of what my parents were telling me because they were the only people I'd get any information from. I know you said you don't have the energy or inclination to tell me what I've done wrong from your/other people's perspectives, and of course I can't force it out of you, but even just hearing those two points from you makes me understand completely why you're upset with me. Before I released the ten page Instagram story, I sent it to Daniel and asked him if he wanted me to delete anything or change anything or add anything and he didn't reply. If he had responded with something similar to what you said, it would've helped me calm down and see it from another perspective, but I've honestly had the hardest time going through this alone and not having a single person to talk it through with. I know you're done with me, but I've loved you half my life and I'll always love you. If you find the patience to talk about everything with me, I've got no doubt there'll be multiple points where you'll help me make sense of it and I may be able to help you understand my reasoning behind some of my actions as well. Thank you so much for contacting me, it goes a long way to help me heal. I've just been feeling like I've been dropped into a page of a random Tolkien novel that I've never read before and people are ignoring me because I don't know what hobbits are.
I feel like I'm asking everyone that's read it 'please tell me who Sauron is' and I'm getting no response so I'm trying to piece it together from words on pages I have no access to, but it's just not making sense. I have a lot of holes in my memory from the time I was on the last load of medication and I know I did a lot of things that the real me would never do. I have weeks missing, and when I look through my camera roll I have no recollection of some of the things. It's the only timeline I have to go off and all I've done is act upon the things I do know to be true, or at least true from my perspective. If you ever take the time to talk to me about the Sydney perspective, I'll fly back and meet you. No matter how harsh your/Dan's truth is, I need to hear it because there's so much that just doesn't make sense to me. I love you." Um, to which he read but didn't reply. So then I, I also sent him some screenshots, um, to just say, er, "I know it won't make much difference, but I wanted to show you-" I took a screenshot of the fact that I sent Dan the story before I published it. I sent it to him, um, I said here "I know it doesn't make much difference but I wanted to show you that I wrote it and waited two days to hear back from him before I uploaded it, but he didn't say anything. I sent the draft of it on the 19th and I uploaded it on the 21st." Um, and then I also sent a screenshot where I said to Dan 'I can't wait until we own a house here in Tasmania, we'll have birds and Collies and fruit trees galore.' And he said 'Space for days, but that much space. I think whatever we buy we have to do it a bit slow fast. When fruit trees are bought, it's because we've dug the holes and laid the irrigation.' Um, and I'd sent him some screenshots of messages where - cause he'd said - - I said "I wanted to show you my side in regards to your comment 'In reality every choice you made was yours alone'. I'm attaching some screenshots of Dan and my messages. I was under the impression we were moving here and I was acting as per our plan." So, in other words, cause he said 'since you went to Tasmania, every choice you made was yours alone', I'm like 'Is that what he's telling everyone?', like, that it was my idea? Like it was OUR idea, and then I included all these messages that basically showed him talking about 'I like this house, I like this, I want this' y'know. I said, also included a screenshot where I said to Dan 'We can set ourselves up so that our kids don't have to wait on us to die before we can achieve financial security - can't do that in Sydney.' and he said 'No, not in the next ten years or so. It's just not a math equation that stacks up long term. There's so much in this life, so much I want to explore with you, to experience it with you, to share with you, grow with you' um, and I sent him that, and I also sent him a screenshot of um, us househunting, him giving input saying 'this is too much money for this house, if it was on bigger land. if we're looking at an investment property we should be looking at lower cost, higher rent-cost ratio, and if possible in an up and coming area' cause him and I were discussing 'okay, maybe we just get our investment property in Tasmania, or y'know. Cause we weren't, we said we were gonna move here but timeline-wise we were like, maybe we should move here next year and between now and then just get an investment property, that sort of thing. Um, I also sent him a screenshot of Dan saying that he liked Black Man's Bay, he said it's close to work - cause he was looking at jobs in Glenorchie. So he said it's close, nice north to rear, separate granny flat, large garden, no neighbours, I really like this house, can you go look at it for us. I also like [sorry, I didn't get that name - Lindor?] valley, can you send the details to the bank, cause we were applying to the bank for another loan so we could get the Tasmanian property. Um, I've - I sent Sam like a whole bunch of screenshots to basically just show, like, it wasn't just me.
If that's the narrative that he's tried to tell people, that it was just me - it wasn't, it was both of us together, and here is the evidence of both of us discussing. Him saying go look at this house, I like this house, can you go look at this one, can you go look at this one. Um, and I said "Sorry to bombard you. I just wanted to show you why I don't think it's fair to say every choice was mine alone. Dan was very on board with moving and wanted me to rent while looking at houses. I'd visit the ones he'd liked and I'd give him my opinion." Um, more screenshots with... Then I said "I'm sending this next screenshot to show that it was Dan's idea for me to stay in Tasmania" and it's, Dan says, um, he says, where is it, 'Hm, don't come back, in the best way possible. I think, keep the momentum' and then I said 'We do the thing, the focus thing, the work hard and make sacrifices now thing' referencing like, we're both working hard, we're making sacrifices, y'know, like, not seeing each other, er, living apart, while we're working toward our goal of moving. And he said 'What would young Alex and Dan say' and then I said 'Work hard for two years, save up, pay off our mortgage'. He said 'Damn straight' um, like I'd. Basically this. [Here she shows the phone with the 'don't come back' messages]. Um, and I sent that because I was like, is the narrative in Sydney that I left and I refused to come back or something? Because he was like 'don't come back, let me look after the pets, let me get the house done, you find us a new house in Tasmania. You stay there, you do the househunting, work with the people that you're employing now', um. Then I said "These screenshots are... that one above was him telling me to stay and worl in Tasmania while he was working in Sydney. These two screenshots are after we agreed we'd separated, but we were going to remain married while we sorted tit out." and, it's just some more, y'know, me being like 'look, I'm telling the truth, here are the screenshots', um, and, dozens. I sent dozens of screenshots. Um, and then, this one's funny. "And of course, the infamous 'taking his work shirt out of his bag and putting it in the bin to show me how dedicated he was to resigning his job and moving to Tasmania.'" Which is something that happened on one of his last visits, he was like 'I'm so serious about moving here and leaving my job', he'd flown straight from work - he left work, got on a plane, came, had his work shirt in his bag. He reached into the back seat, took his work shirt out of his bag, got out of the car, went up to a public bin and threw his work shirt out. And I was crying because it was such a momentous occasion to me, um I took a photo of it. [She shows us a very blurry picture of someone next to a bin] Like, that's my husband putting his work shirt in a bin, saying that he's gonna leave his job and we're gonna move here. I took a picture, cause I was crying, I was like 'I wanna show to our kids this picture, like that's the moment your father decided he was gonna come here'. So, I said, "The infamous 'taking the work shirt out of the bag and putting it in the bin to show me he was gonna resign. If you don't mind going on this journey with me, can you please tell me why the narrative is that I uprooted my life in November to live in Tasmania and that it was my choice alone, when I was being fully backed and encouraged by Dan? Again, I don't wanna start a fight, I just want help understanding." That's... literally it. That - he's never messaged me ever again. That message, the message that he sent was the last thing he's ever said to me and the reason that I'm always, and continue to be, pro-Sam is because when I read Sam's message, I'm like 'Yeah. If that was the opinion that I held about someone, I'd think they were a crappy person too.' But then, when I was like, 'Okay, but here, evidence, proof, proof, proof, proof, here's this, here's that, can you please help me understand?', I... I haven't heard from him since.
But because I know, I sleep well at night knowing that I didn't do anything wrong and I hold on to hope that one day, regardless of everything, we can just put it behind us and just say 'Y'know what, that was a really crappy point in everyone's life and we're not gonna think about it again. And he hurt you, you hurt him, I hurt you, you hurt me, but you know what, life's short, let's move forward.' I don't like to close doors, and I don't feel angry about any of it, at all, because I'm like 'It's just a really bleeping awful situation all around for everyone involved' and, y'know, no one's ever, um, no one's ever able to present a 100% accurate portrayal of amy events, because, as we always say, there are three sides to every story. And in this situation there is the side that I see and the experiences that I went through, there's Daniel's experiences and then there's the omnipresent narrator that watches the whole thing and that is the only accurate representation. Um, and I think that Sam's, he wasn't, we weren't in touch frequently during the entire thing and he only ever heard one side of things, and I can see, based on that one side that he knows, why he feels the way he feels, and I'd really hoped that by me sending this stuff that I sent, that he'd see my point of view. And maybe he has, I don't know, but, yeah, I'll never... like, any of the people in Sydney, I love all of them, no matter what happens. The ones that talk to me, the ones that don't. I love all of them, and I think the saddest part is that there was a relationship that was a really good thing and it came to a really sad end, and there was no reason for anyone outside of him and I to be involved. I don't think friends should be involved in these sort of things and I don't know why they had to be. I don't know why friends had to, y'know, get dragged - like, I know I'm, there were points where I contacted people because I was like 'Hey, what's going on? None of you have talked to me, why? What's happened?' but yeah. So hopefully that answers the 'what did you say to Sam' thing."
and she’s deffo not trying to be friends with any of the Sydney lot but doing stuff like this, this is why you shouldn’t mix friendship and business as it can turn sour. 
