Pregnancy

[MrsJones83]

You're not missing anything.
You are literally describing my feelings with my 4 pregnancies. One unfortunately didn't go past 10 weeks but the other 3 have been exact to how you're feeling.
I got myself so worked up coming up to my 12 week scan this time, cried every day leading up to it and in the waiting room because I was so convinced something was wrong

I didn’t realise how worked up I was about my scan, until afterwards when I felt such a sense of relief, it was like a huge weight off my shoulders.

 

[Definitelyme]

@Upintheair83 i think it’s absolutely normal to have days when you don’t feel pregnant and are worrying that something has gone wrong. Anxiety about scans is also perfectly normal. With my 3rd baby I wasn’t excited until about 25 weeks as I just felt so horrendous the whole time, I didn’t feel one glimmer of excitement. There is nothin wrong with you, lovely. The fact you are worrying that there is says that you already are maternal and care so much!

Did anyone regret finding out the gender and wish they'd kept it a surprise? I'm really not sure what to do. I have the opportunity to find out very early with my harmony test but not sure if I'd rather save the surprise until later on, or perhaps not find out at all? It's my first so I really don't mind either way what it is. I feel like finding out would make things feel more real though. Or am I just over thinking things far too much!

Not quite what you’ve asked, but we have never once found out beforehand and we have never regretted leaving it until birth, even with our first we didn’t feel the need to buy gendered stuff or anything. I know everyone has their own reasons for finding out (or not) but for me it’s just not really a big deal to wait the extra few weeks until birth. Maybe if there were more options to choose from I might be keen to know sooner, though!

 

[littlepup]

Did anyone regret finding out the gender and wish they'd kept it a surprise? I feel like finding out would make things feel more real though.

I found out with Harmony and the only thing was that it meant a lot of the excitement was over in one hit early on. You know everything then have to wait until 16 weeks for anything else to happen, bit of an anti-climax. That said, I kept saying to OH 'imagine if we were still waiting to find out, I'd be going crazy' - it made me feel more in control and made it all feel more real too. I'm glad we did find out.
Perhaps find out for yourselves and then find a special way to tell others so you still can have a bit of fun with it?

Woke up this morning and I just don’t feel pregnant at all, and I don’t mean so much the morning sickness etc...I just don’t! I mean I’m so grateful that my heads not down the toilet all the time and that Iv gone off food but I don’t know, it’s making me so panicked.
My friend who’s pregnant and the same 11 weeks as me, has bought a Christmas jumper with Xmas pudding on and bought her partner a card from bump for Christmas- but I haven’t even had the thought to do any of that! I’m just so worried I’m not pregnant anymore and it’s not real. I’m sure I will get to my 12 week scan next week they will say Iv wasted their time. After reading about Missed miscarriages I’m just so paranoid it will happen to me.
Has anyone else felt this way? Is there something wrong with me that I don’t feel excited at the minute? But worried? Xx

I felt like this every other day at the start. As for the Xmas jumper and card from bump etc, I didn't/wouldn't do anything like that early on, if at all. (TBF I hate that cutesy crap, as if a bump isn't enough to let people know you're pregnant, really ram it down people's throats, Just what women who are struggling want to see at Christmas.) Until the 'viable' stage at 24 weeks I didn't really truly believe my pregnancy would end in a baby.

I posted before about not feeling overly bonded with my pregnancy. Someone wrote about how you can love so much something you've not met and laughing and smiling every kick. Well, I definitely haven't felt like that!!! It worried me so much for a while but the midwives have all said it's totally normal, many women feel that way particularly when it's been a difficult or painful pregnancy. They said it has no bearing on bonding with baby when they arrive, they've even seen ladies who've felt totally bonded with their baby in their belly and when they arrive they can't reconcile the reality to the fantasy/expectation and find it really traumatic.
I think the point is that, so long as you are taking care of yourself, there's no one right way to feel or behave and it doesn't indicate anything about your eventual relationship with your child.
Also, reading idiots on Instagram saying things like 'So in love with my miracle, my body is so amazing, I love every moment of this journey, its made all my relationships stronger' etc is total bull and not helpful to anyone!

 

[Upintheair83]

I found out with Harmony and the only thing was that it meant a lot of the excitement was over in one hit early on. You know everything then have to wait until 16 weeks for anything else to happen, bit of an anti-climax. That said, I kept saying to OH 'imagine if we were still waiting to find out, I'd be going crazy' - it made me feel more in control and made it all feel more real too. I'm glad we did find out.
Perhaps find out for yourselves and then find a special way to tell others so you still can have a bit of fun with it?



I felt like this every other day at the start. As for the Xmas jumper and card from bump etc, I didn't/wouldn't do anything like that early on, if at all. (TBF I hate that cutesy crap, as if a bump isn't enough to let people know you're pregnant, really ram it down people's throats, Just what women who are struggling want to see at Christmas.) Until the 'viable' stage at 24 weeks I didn't really truly believe my pregnancy would end in a baby.

I posted before about not feeling overly bonded with my pregnancy. Someone wrote about how you can love so much something you've not met and laughing and smiling every kick. Well, I definitely haven't felt like that!!! It worried me so much for a while but the midwives have all said it's totally normal, many women feel that way particularly when it's been a difficult or painful pregnancy. They said it has no bearing on bonding with baby when they arrive, they've even seen ladies who've felt totally bonded with their baby in their belly and when they arrive they can't reconcile the reality to the fantasy/expectation and find it really traumatic.
I think the point is that, so long as you are taking care of yourself, there's no one right way to feel or behave and it doesn't indicate anything about your eventual relationship with your child.
Also, reading idiots on Instagram saying things like 'So in love with my miracle, my body is so amazing, I love every moment of this journey, its made all my relationships stronger' etc is total bull and not helpful to anyone!

I feel so much better from all of your replies ladies! Makes me feel like what I’m going through is a normal feeling.
I’m so happy I’m pregnant but I just don’t feel like I can relax at all and be excited about it, I’m just so aware that so many ladies have miscarriages. Iv always been realistic, I just think it’s out of our hands really.
And I’m so glad that I’m not the only one who doesn’t understand all this bump showing off on Instagram! I mean obv some women love to celebrate it and that’s fine but I just couldn’t get my belly out pregnant or not! Just not really my style.
But I suppose I just felt like why is my friend so excited when I don’t feel that way? Deep down I know I shouldnt compare and I know that everyone is different.
I’m hoping I will feel slightly at ease after the scan, then il find something else to worry about. heaven help me! Xx

 

[WhatABore]

I found out with Harmony and the only thing was that it meant a lot of the excitement was over in one hit early on. You know everything then have to wait until 16 weeks for anything else to happen, bit of an anti-climax. That said, I kept saying to OH 'imagine if we were still waiting to find out, I'd be going crazy' - it made me feel more in control and made it all feel more real too. I'm glad we did find out.
Perhaps find out for yourselves and then find a special way to tell others so you still can have a bit of fun with it?



I felt like this every other day at the start. As for the Xmas jumper and card from bump etc, I didn't/wouldn't do anything like that early on, if at all. (TBF I hate that cutesy crap, as if a bump isn't enough to let people know you're pregnant, really ram it down people's throats, Just what women who are struggling want to see at Christmas.) Until the 'viable' stage at 24 weeks I didn't really truly believe my pregnancy would end in a baby.

I posted before about not feeling overly bonded with my pregnancy. Someone wrote about how you can love so much something you've not met and laughing and smiling every kick. Well, I definitely haven't felt like that!!! It worried me so much for a while but the midwives have all said it's totally normal, many women feel that way particularly when it's been a difficult or painful pregnancy. They said it has no bearing on bonding with baby when they arrive, they've even seen ladies who've felt totally bonded with their baby in their belly and when they arrive they can't reconcile the reality to the fantasy/expectation and find it really traumatic.
I think the point is that, so long as you are taking care of yourself, there's no one right way to feel or behave and it doesn't indicate anything about your eventual relationship with your child.
Also, reading idiots on Instagram saying things like 'So in love with my miracle, my body is so amazing, I love every moment of this journey, its made all my relationships stronger' etc is total bull and not helpful to anyone!

I completely agree!
I hate pregnancy/being pregnant. And I feel bad saying that because there are people that don't get the chance.
And I don't even know why I hate it. I think it's all the anxious times, and something being there that you can't see or have control over. At least when you've got a baby infront of you, you can visibly see if anything is wrong ect. But I just find it such an anxious time!

 

[Loopyloulou]

Hey guys quick question for you all has anyone had bleeding early on I’m pregnancy, I’m 61/2 weeks but I had bleeding on Thursday and it’s stopped now more like a period I’m so confused as to what’s going on I have a scan tomorrow to find out but my mind is going crazy

 

[WhatABore]

Hey guys quick question for you all has anyone had bleeding early on I’m pregnancy, I’m 61/2 weeks but I had bleeding on Thursday and it’s stopped now more like a period I’m so confused as to what’s going on I have a scan tomorrow to find out but my mind is going crazy

Yes every single pregnancy. And around that exact mark. However, it's usually brown/pink blood.
Bright red blood with clots is usually the worry

 

[Definitelyme]

I feel so much better from all of your replies ladies! Makes me feel like what I’m going through is a normal feeling.
I’m so happy I’m pregnant but I just don’t feel like I can relax at all and be excited about it, I’m just so aware that so many ladies have miscarriages. Iv always been realistic, I just think it’s out of our hands really.
And I’m so glad that I’m not the only one who doesn’t understand all this bump showing off on Instagram! I mean obv some women love to celebrate it and that’s fine but I just couldn’t get my belly out pregnant or not! Just not really my style.
But I suppose I just felt like why is my friend so excited when I don’t feel that way? Deep down I know I shouldnt compare and I know that everyone is different.
I’m hoping I will feel slightly at ease after the scan, then il find something else to worry about. heaven help me! Xx

I am absolutely not a bump shower-offer. I mean I am huge so it’s clear to see, but posting pics etc is not for me. And I hate that when I look for maternity t shirts half of them say “hands off the bump”. Someone put their hands on my bump I’d knock them out I hate that!

Everyone just has different ways of doing “them” and there are never more comparisons than when women are pregnant, and then have kids. Block out what everyone else does. Do what YOU want. Your body, your baby, your decisions.

 

[Jg182]

So we are 12 weeks on Boxing Day. But would like to tell my partners mum and his gran & auntie.
Any thoughts... we have brought a great grandma and grandma Xmas card... we have a scan this Thursday... and we were gonna stick a scan picture in the cards... tacky?

 

[Sw4]

I found out with Harmony and the only thing was that it meant a lot of the excitement was over in one hit early on. You know everything then have to wait until 16 weeks for anything else to happen, bit of an anti-climax. That said, I kept saying to OH 'imagine if we were still waiting to find out, I'd be going crazy' - it made me feel more in control and made it all feel more real too. I'm glad we did find out.
Perhaps find out for yourselves and then find a special way to tell others so you still can have a bit of fun with it?

Cool, yeah in all honesty I probably will find out as I'm awful with surprises anyway but it will be fun to tease family and friends and let them keep guessing!

 

[littlepup]

So we are 12 weeks on Boxing Day. But would like to tell my partners mum and his gran & auntie.
Any thoughts... we have brought a great grandma and grandma Xmas card... we have a scan this Thursday... and we were gonna stick a scan picture in the cards... tacky?

Tacky doesn't matter when it comes to grandma and great-grandma, not that I think it's tacky anyway. I think it's nice to let other people have some silly excitement and something memorable. I wish we'd done something more special.
You might be surprised how many people though, even when faced with a scan picture don't quite get it or are in total disbelief and need reassurance that you are indeed pregnant

 

[Definitelyme]

So we are 12 weeks on Boxing Day. But would like to tell my partners mum and his gran & auntie.
Any thoughts... we have brought a great grandma and grandma Xmas card... we have a scan this Thursday... and we were gonna stick a scan picture in the cards... tacky?

Not at all! I would have loved to do something the same (never happened near an event though) and I think it’s very sweet.

 

[Jg182]

Tacky doesn't matter when it comes to grandma and great-grandma, not that I think it's tacky anyway. I think it's nice to let other people have some silly excitement and something memorable. I wish we'd done something more special.
You might be surprised how many people though, even when faced with a scan picture don't quite get it or are in total disbelief and need reassurance that you are indeed pregnant

Haha yeah I think you might be right espically with great grandma...
grandma knew we were due to start ivf in January... so she’s going to be in total shock as she knows the struggles we have gone through!
We aren’t nornally big announcement type people... but I feel we deserve alittle fun with this!!

 

[Heybooboo]

So we are 12 weeks on Boxing Day. But would like to tell my partners mum and his gran & auntie.
Any thoughts... we have brought a great grandma and grandma Xmas card... we have a scan this Thursday... and we were gonna stick a scan picture in the cards... tacky?

You can get coasters or other things which say only the best mums etc get promoted to grandma. I did it that way with my parents and they have them on display still now just something little bit it’s cute. Love the card idea it’s not tacky atall

 

[Jg182]

You can get coasters or other things which say only the best mums etc get promoted to grandma. I did it that way with my parents and they have them on display still now just something little bit it’s cute. Love the card idea it’s not tacky atall

Ah that’s really cute!! Will take a look into something like that!!

 

[Chickenandgravy]

Hey guys quick question for you all has anyone had bleeding early on I’m pregnancy, I’m 61/2 weeks but I had bleeding on Thursday and it’s stopped now more like a period I’m so confused as to what’s going on I have a scan tomorrow to find out but my mind is going crazy

Yup me too round about 6 weeks. Turns out I had some "pockets" of blood round about my uterus that were dislodged and resulted in the blood. Also when I spoke to the midwife she totally put my mind at ease by saying it's SO vascular in there when your pregnant so it's no wonder some woman bleed, as long as it's not painful, filling a pad every hour or loads of clots it Doesn't always mean something bad! Fingers crossed for you

 

[MrsJones83]

I bled throughout my first, and this pregnancy, but didn’t bleed at all when I miscarried (missed miscarriage picked up at 10 weeks and had surgically removed).

First time it was due to a polyp growing on my cervix (had it removed once I had baby) and this time I’ve got a cervical ectropion, which I understand to mean a raw bit of skin on my cervix which occasionally bleeds.

 

[moimoi]

Woke up this morning and I just don’t feel pregnant at all, and I don’t mean so much the morning sickness etc...I just don’t! I mean I’m so grateful that my heads not down the toilet all the time and that Iv gone off food but I don’t know, it’s making me so panicked.
My friend who’s pregnant and the same 11 weeks as me, has bought a Christmas jumper with Xmas pudding on and bought her partner a card from bump for Christmas- but I haven’t even had the thought to do any of that! I’m just so worried I’m not pregnant anymore and it’s not real. I’m sure I will get to my 12 week scan next week they will say Iv wasted their time. After reading about Missed miscarriages I’m just so paranoid it will happen to me.
Has anyone else felt this way? Is there something wrong with me that I don’t feel excited at the minute? But worried? Xx

I'm 19 weeks and don't feel excited, just very anxious and nervous and wanting the 21 week scan to arrive asap to make sure everything is ok even though everything was fine at the 13 week scan. I haven't bought any baby stuff yet.

And I know everyone carries differently, but I feel like I'm pretty small. I'm an average size 12 but my 'bump' just looks like I've had a massive kebab and chips when I raise my top. It's not rounded or anything and you wouldn't be able to tell if you saw me in the street. I suffer a lot from body dysmorphia so quite happy I'm not really showing, but also a little concerned that I probably should be bigger? Doesn't help that the 16-18 week appointments were cancelled so haven't been measured at all.

 

[MrsJones83]

I haven’t been measured yet this pregnancy (22 weeks now), I can’t remember when they started last time. I feel huge but weighed myself this morning and I’ve actually lost weight.
Like you say, everyone carries differently.

 

[Tui]

Thanks hun, I just feel like I’m missing some sort of maternal gene that I’m not getting excited like my friend and buying all this bump stuff- I’m actually just really anxious about the scan. I feel like I don’t want to get my hopes up in a way. Just feel really weird about it all today. Abit detached. X

I found this, my sickness settled around 10-11 weeks and I suddenly felt so much more like my normal self. Could eat normally, didn’t get full easily anymore and obviously no bump yet. Only when I started having very regular movements did I feel particularly pregnant again! First movements were at 16 weeks but took another 6 weeks or so to feel them regularly and now at 26 weeks they’re almost constant.