Pregnancy #65

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last year I wanted to do something specific to part of our garden, we sort of got part of the way there, then gave up. This year I really wanted this project done, because it will mean having somewhere nice to sit out with the boy next year. MrDragName is really trying and is throwing himself at it but he is also going about it all in the most haphazard way I’ve ever seen. I don’t have the minerals to help, I’m trying really hard not to micromanage him but he is also failing to listen to any instruction and it’s getting me more and more wound up. He also keeps changing how he intends to go about putting something together and I’m like ‘no, that’s just not how this happens at all’. We need to buy fixings and garden paint and all sorts to make this project work properly and he’s just merrily out there, wearing last night’s t-shirt that has his dinner all spilled down it, making everything up as he goes along but not methodically.

He trashed the kitchen in pursuit of getting our dinner in the slow cooker so I offered to clear that up as it was something useful I could do, and boy do I regret it. Both bins need emptying and he was surprised when I wanted to start with that, even though I couldn’t get any rubbish or recycling in either bin which would make tidying impossible. He used all manner of cloths to mop up cat sick (the cat sick ridden paper towels were also at the top of the full bin. Delightful!) and had no clue what cloth had been used for what so I had to get a cloth and towel wash on. Then had to sort a box of clean cloths and tea towels because he’s been putting all manner of random things in there that don’t belong. Still not really gotten round to the actual job in the kitchen which was to wash up because there was a load of prep work to do and I keep having to point out he’s doing something he shouldn’t be whilst he’s outside.

I’m obviously extremely grateful for every single thing he’s doing, I just wish he could engage his brain for 5 seconds when he’s doing the stuff so I didn’t have to keep an eye on him like he was the child haha! I’m also a bit annoyed that I can’t just get stuck in and do it all myself.
 
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@ThisIsMyDragName I could have written this myself - laughed out loud because this is exactly like mr amarantine trying to be helpful. We are in the process of moving house, me starting a new job and him looking for one because his company were making redundancies and he wanted out anyway, and also pregnant on top of all this (for context) and he really does try to be helpful but he’s just so…chaotic?! He’s gone to our new house to build a shed today with absolutely no clue of how he is planning to level the ground to put in the shed, he’s tried to pack all his clothes but they’re just chucked in a pile on the sofa and he seems incapable of putting dirty laundry in the wash basket at the moment so our house is just chaos 😂 and same as you I feel cross that I can’t help with moving all the boxes and things…
 
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@ThisIsMyDragName I could have written this myself - laughed out loud because this is exactly like mr amarantine trying to be helpful. We are in the process of moving house, me starting a new job and him looking for one because his company were making redundancies and he wanted out anyway, and also pregnant on top of all this (for context) and he really does try to be helpful but he’s just so…chaotic?! He’s gone to our new house to build a shed today with absolutely no clue of how he is planning to level the ground to put in the shed, he’s tried to pack all his clothes but they’re just chucked in a pile on the sofa and he seems incapable of putting dirty laundry in the wash basket at the moment so our house is just chaos 😂 and same as you I feel cross that I can’t help with moving all the boxes and things…
Oh my gosh, solidarity! I don’t even know how you’re coping with -that- much all at once as well as a husband/partner's version of ‘helping’. He’s trying to be so hands on and practical and it does mean a lot, but it’s also not really his forte to just ‘figure things out’ that are practical but he also doesn’t tend to ask, either. He’s just offered to make lunch which is great and so amazing on top of all the work he’s been doing today, but I just finished sorting that kitchen out and I know I’m going to go back in there thoroughly perplexed as to what he’s done in there and have to start again 😆
 
Finally over here from other threads after years of infertility/fertility tests and treatment. Also had 2 terminations around 10 years ago when I was very young and single. So for both of these reasons I am not enjoying pregnancy (yet) and feeling double guilt, along with guilt for not being grateful enough for being pregnant! 7 weeks just now. Hoping to relax into it after an early scan coming up. And reading this thread when I haven’t told any real life friends has been some reassurance too
 
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I'm really struggling with the tiredness. Think little man must be having a growth spurt, I had the permahunger the other day and now I'm just in a fog. Oh and was awake in the night. No wonder I'm tired! It's just frustrating cos I have stuff I want to do
 
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I'm really struggling with the tiredness. Think little man must be having a growth spurt, I had the permahunger the other day and now I'm just in a fog. Oh and was awake in the night. No wonder I'm tired! It's just frustrating cos I have stuff I want to do
Tiredness is really kicking my butt. I also have some kind of cold/sore throat and it’s so tit not being able to take anything for it. I’m feeling so guilty as mr muff is doing the lion share on childcare for our toddler and I can see he’s tired but he’s sleeping through the night and I’m not.
 
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Finally over here from other threads after years of infertility/fertility tests and treatment. Also had 2 terminations around 10 years ago when I was very young and single. So for both of these reasons I am not enjoying pregnancy (yet) and feeling double guilt, along with guilt for not being grateful enough for being pregnant! 7 weeks just now. Hoping to relax into it after an early scan coming up. And reading this thread when I haven’t told any real life friends has been some reassurance too
Welcome 🤗 there is no correct way to feel although you have zero reason to feel guilty about anything. It’s ok to find pregnancy hard and it’s ok to not float along sighing wistfully expressing gratitude for being pregnant. It doesn’t mean you’ve lost sight of how lucky you feel, it just means the reality of pregnancy is not a fairytale or a Disney film! I think all of us here have cycled through the full range of emotions, sometimes in the same day! Hoping that early scan helps you feel settled ❤
 
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I put myself to bed before 9pm last night and didn’t really fully wake up till 7am (had numerous wake ups in the night and a couple of trips to the toilet but that’s totally normal) but it did really help me feel rested. I’ve not really managed to achieve what I wanted to because I feel MASSIVE and I feel like JuniorDragName is trying to burst his way out of me, alien style, but I’ve got some stuff done and I’m just trying to be kind to myself about it. Things are basically ticking along with the to do lists. We might build our bedside crib thing later. I’d like to tell you that this will be a really great moment for us both but most attempts we have to build anything together end in threats of divorce 😆.

MrDN has followed instructions now and there has been progress on our wee garden project so that’s exciting. He’s out picking up the fixings and I am pretty sure we have enough of the paint for the project already. We can’t finish it today but it’s coming together!
 
Oh my gosh, solidarity! I don’t even know how you’re coping with -that- much all at once as well as a husband/partner's version of ‘helping’. He’s trying to be so hands on and practical and it does mean a lot, but it’s also not really his forte to just ‘figure things out’ that are practical but he also doesn’t tend to ask, either. He’s just offered to make lunch which is great and so amazing on top of all the work he’s been doing today, but I just finished sorting that kitchen out and I know I’m going to go back in there thoroughly perplexed as to what he’s done in there and have to start again 😆
Because we are mad 😂 tbf we didn’t intend to do it all at once, just kind of happened that way, as life does 😂 hahaha I know exactly what you mean re: the kitchen, I love when he cooks but he just creates so much mess which I then end up sorting out! He has succeeded in putting up the shed at the new house and only one tiny casualty of a beam that cracked because, apparently, of the wind. Though I feel it was probably more likely that he decided he didn’t need the instructions and then broke it…

Likewise I appreciate that he’s trying to help and build the shed, move boxes and things over to the new house, but he did not put them in the right rooms, just all in the hallway 😂 he really does mean well and he’s not trying to be annoying, he’s just so chaotic and honestly doesn’t think it through…
 
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I’m on my raspberry leaf tea mocktail (as a fruity tea aficionado I didn’t mind it by itself but I’m not really feeling the hot drinks right now) and I’ve made some fridge cake/tray bake thing with loads of dates in it. Hark at me, eh? I went for half the brewed and cooled tea with 1/4 cranberry and 1/4 pineapple juice. It’s ok! Got to let the date tray bake thing firm up in the fridge (and cover it in chocolate) to try it.
 
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Welcome 🤗 there is no correct way to feel although you have zero reason to feel guilty about anything. It’s ok to find pregnancy hard and it’s ok to not float along sighing wistfully expressing gratitude for being pregnant. It doesn’t mean you’ve lost sight of how lucky you feel, it just means the reality of pregnancy is not a fairytale or a Disney film! I think all of us here have cycled through the full range of emotions, sometimes in the same day! Hoping that early scan helps you feel settled ❤
Really lovely words of wisdom - thank you so much. Everything you’ve said resonates, and makes me think how much societal representations and expectations of pregnancy and how pregnant woman should be/think/act just make it more difficult. We are never more policed by others or more vulnerable alongside every other mad thing going on in our bodies and minds!
 
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Back to the day unit today. At least I'm actually prepared for a long slog (although they said I shouldn't have to stay so long and apparently me being there 4.5 hours last week was anomalous. Maybe the midwives were just being nice though as I'd just sobbed at the male junior doctor because I'd got too hot 😂😂😂)
- Kindle
- Charged phone
- Snacks
- Will wear a top and bottoms rather than a dress so tummy poking isn't also knicker flashing
 
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Finally over here from other threads after years of infertility/fertility tests and treatment. Also had 2 terminations around 10 years ago when I was very young and single. So for both of these reasons I am not enjoying pregnancy (yet) and feeling double guilt, along with guilt for not being grateful enough for being pregnant! 7 weeks just now. Hoping to relax into it after an early scan coming up. And reading this thread when I haven’t told any real life friends has been some reassurance too
Welcome! Absolutely no judgment here, you are allowed to be grateful and excited to be pregnant but also anxious and worried and guilty! In my case everyone told me I’d love pregnancy but I really don’t - all I do is worry 😂 hopefully the early scan will help make you feel a bit better and a bit more relaxed, but you should never feel guilty for not loving pregnancy (yet, or at all!) regardless of your journey to get there!
 
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Back to the day unit today. At least I'm actually prepared for a long slog (although they said I shouldn't have to stay so long and apparently me being there 4.5 hours last week was anomalous. Maybe the midwives were just being nice though as I'd just sobbed at the male junior doctor because I'd got too hot 😂😂😂)
- Kindle
- Charged phone
- Snacks
- Will wear a top and bottoms rather than a dress so tummy poking isn't also knicker flashing
Hope it’s gone ok today! I thought my last midwife appt was just BP and urine so I was wearing a strappy top tucked into my Simon Cowell maternity leggings with a dress/tunic over the top. Oh and under all of that were my Bridget Jones pants. I have recently just sized up in Primark’s full briefs and that seems to be fine for me but they are bleeping massive. So… yeah. Took me about 10 minutes to pull one layer up, pull one layer down, pull the next layer up and so on. Oh, the shame. Wearing cargo pants and a cropped top with my bump out a la Nicole Appleton in the 90s to my next appt.
 
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Approaching my due date now and still no sign of baby CC. There’s only so much day time TV and clock watching I can tolerate!
My husband is working nights which isn’t helping as I’m trying to be quiet during the day
 
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Hope it’s gone ok today! I thought my last midwife appt was just BP and urine so I was wearing a strappy top tucked into my Simon Cowell maternity leggings with a dress/tunic over the top. Oh and under all of that were my Bridget Jones pants. I have recently just sized up in Primark’s full briefs and that seems to be fine for me but they are bleeping massive. So… yeah. Took me about 10 minutes to pull one layer up, pull one layer down, pull the next layer up and so on. Oh, the shame. Wearing cargo pants and a cropped top with my bump out a la Nicole Appleton in the 90s to my next appt.
Between giving birth already and getting bikini waxes pre children - I have no shame anymore. I’m just like go for your life. But yeah I’ve been in a skirt and crop top for every scan and midwife app for easy access. 😂
 
Freeeeeeeeedom. I remain a medical mystery! But the next two weeks of monitoring will be with the community midwives at least.
 
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