Pregnancy #65

[fishsticks]

I'm public sector and currently in a similar position, I'm 15 weeks and applying for jobs left right and centre within my org (but this is because my manager is such a piece of work I've been off sick with work related stress because her behaviour has massively escalated recently and I'm now having to do informal HR complaints and the like so I just have to get out for my own health lol). I do feel a certain level of awkwardness/cheekiness about it, but at the end of the day, you've got to do what's best for you. And when I told a senior I work with how I felt cheeky applying for a job she said "but you shouldn't feel bad, it's the law that you're not at a disadvantage" so I'm just going with that

I personally wouldn't withdraw my application now if I were you. Assuming your notice period is 4 weeks (?) if you were successful and offered the role and you start the role in 8 weeks, you'd only be 12 weeks pregnant, that's still five months or so in post!

That said, if you think the stress of changing job and having to learn a new role mid pregnancy is not worth any benefit from a new post, then yeah sure, but I wouldn't disadvantage yourself now just because of feeling awkward about it!

Oh my days could've written this myself!!!!

I don't blame you looking for a new internal role, but I too feel cheeky and bad even though I know it's right for me! It's such a tricky one isn't it. You're right though, I'd still have 5 or so months in post before mat leave. The other thing is I'm currently part time and this role is full time meaning I'd get a full mat pay which would be lovelehhhhh

 

[lilykestrel]

I'm 17 weeks with my first when do I need to begin thinking about all this pram and car seat and crib stuff, when I try to comprehend it my brain is like a monkey playing the cymbals at the moment

 

[ThisIsMyDragName]

I dunno if I overdid it today doing this garden project but I just had to abandon my dinner which I was enjoying to go throw up. I haven’t been properly sick throughout my entire pregnancy so this took me totally by surprise. I don’t think I drank enough fluids today, when I went for a wee it was a bit dark, so I was having a cheeky glass of squash when I started to feel a bit sicky and assumed I needed to drink and eat. I usually snack all through the day but I didn’t even really notice being hungry. So, I continued drinking my squash till dinner time, had a few mouthfuls then suddenly felt extremely sick. I now feel ok just… confused about what just happened. It’s not scorching hot here, I have sun cream on (got burned when it was 19 degrees and foggy a few weekends ago, lesson learned!). I did have what I thought was plenty of sitting down time in between tasks, my tasks were fairly sedate ones. And I’m still hungry but don’t dare finish off my dinner maybe some toast for me in a bit.

Absolute solidarity to the HG and constantly sick ladies though. I literally threw up twice and I am acting like my world just ended. You ladies are complete and utter heroes

 

[ThisIsMyDragName]

I'm spiraling today, the last two days I have had very little symptoms, (, I know this is normal but I'm not thinking reasonably at the moment) . I'm 7 weeks and I miscarried at 7 weeks last time. I can't get a private scan for another week. I'm not sure if the early pregnancy unit would entertain me as I'm spiralling Im going to have another loss.. anyone have this experience? I'm in Ireland if that helps

No clue about Ireland but EPUs will see you from 6 weeks here. I would say call them. They’ll either say they can see you and you’ll hopefully get some answers, or they’ll say the can’t see you and whilst that will feel horrible, that is no different to the total unknown you’re currently experiencing, I guess. I know it’s easy for me to say as an outsider.

Keeping everything crossed for you

 

[ThisIsMyDragName]

How many weeks are you now?
I’ve got an anterior placenta so sometimes I feel the movements are reduced then have a cold drink and lay down and I can feel her kicking away or if I’m wiped out and need to sit down it’s like she knows and starts dancing away

26 tomorrow with a posterior placenta. He ended up being nicely active (but not crazy style!) in the evening and night time. I think he’d just had a bit of a ‘lie in’ yesterday and if got my anxiety in a tailspin. He’s been ‘normal’ all day today.

 

[calabazarock]

Spoiler: I had a difficult 24 week appt with a positive end

24 week midwife appointment this morning, met my new midwife as my previous midwife is on maternity leave herself. New midwife seemed really nice and helpful. Urine was ok, BP ok. Then it was heartbeat on the doppler time! She could hear the blood circulation to the placenta but not the baby. She tried her very best and was basically chasing my naughty son around my stomach. She brings in another midwife who also had a try but it’s the same thing. What I hadn’t been bargaining on, but of course recognise is a ‘better safe than sorry’ approach, is the fact that they can detect the heartbeat means I’m asked to go to the big nearby hospital to get checked out. I’d had zero concerns up till that point and suddenly I of course go to the worst case scenario and start to cry in the room. It’s a midwife led unit and there are no sonographers in so that’s why I’m told to go there and go right away. They ring up to say I’m coming and I’m told to go to the labour suite rather than maternity triage because I will get seen faster which is reassuring and amazing hut also TERRIFYING. I walk home crying, have a complete meltdown in my house and off we go.

Long story short, I’m popped in a room by myself and a consultant comes in within about 5 minutes and immediately scans me and the first thing he can hear is the heartbeat. He then spends 10-15 minutes just having a look and a check whilst he’s there, everything is fine. Once again the boy wonder isn’t interested in having his ‘photo’ taken but the consultant tries and gets a couple of snaps of him curled up in a ball.

I know it’s incredibly dramatic but that was the worse I think I’ve ever felt in my life up to the point that scanner made contact. In my head I’m thinking how the midwife felt him move with her hands before trying the Doppler and they were literally chasing him about with it whilst he did everything he could to evade capture and there was no way that would be happening if something bad had happened, but my brain immediately went to an awful place and I couldn’t bring it back from there.

Im grateful that everyone acted so quickly and calmly and gently and I’m grateful that I got seen so fast. The NHS is amazing and everyone I encountered today was amazing. MrDragName was so strong and so good with me when he realised I was sobbing my heart out in the toilet at home because I didn’t want to go to hospital in case it was bad need. And JuniorDragName is grounded for the foreseeable future for causing me so much stress!

I'm glad there was a positive end. I think they should have handled it with a tad more logic, since he was clearly moving, and just say they needed the extra check due to defined processes and not because they were worried at all.

 

[RedPotter]

I saw JuniorDragName move around last night which was new to me and pretty epic. I was getting a pulse/heartbeat type feeling, dunno if he was pulling the cord around and I could feel the pulse from the cord or if he kicking me rhythmically or what he was up to, but then my stomach did a sort of ‘Mexican wave’ motion. So I got MrDragName upstairs to have a look but he wasn’t sure if he could see it or not, I guess I had the better angle as I was staring directly down at my bump and he couldn’t fit in behind me to get the same view as me. But he did it two or three more times and it was pretty epic whilst also being slightly like that scene in Alien .

My latest anxiety fixation is the fact that the young man is breech and I don’t believe he’s turned yet, though I can’t be sure. I’d like to avoid a c-section if I can. And I realise him being breech is not the only reason for needing a c-section but it’s quite a big reason. Obviously, I just want a birth that is safe for him and me and if that is a c-section then that is what it is. But, in the meantime, is there anything I can legitimately and safely do to encourage this young lad to turn? I tried googling and some of the stuff either seemed a bit ‘woo woo’ or a bit dangerous or both!

Have you tried forward leaning inversion? I was recommended to do this to get baby moving they weren't breech but were in an awkward position. The way my midwife said to do it was kneeling on the sofa and hanging over the edge putting your weight on your forearms so your bump is hanging over the edge. Get someone to assist you with it though, I had to get my partner otherwise I'd fall off the sofa. This might have been something you've already tried though, there's a few versions.
Also I know someone who had the ECV at 37 weeks recently and it was successful turning the baby from breech.

 

[amarantine]

Just having my weekly wobble that I’ve not felt baby move since this morning - I’m 24 weeks and feel like I should feel movement all the time but I just don’t and honestly I just worry all the time - how do you navigate this?! I’ve been to triage or at least spoken to them 4 or 5 times in the last few weeks! I don’t know how often baby is meant to move or when and I honestly need some coping strategies from those of you who already have little ones or have navigated the weird second trimester so I don’t call triage every 5 minutes

 

[fishsticks]

Lovely news @Thatsnotmyname123 !! Did they give you an estimated due date? I'm really worried about a mc, so I've booked an early scan for 20th July.

 

[ThisIsMyDragName]

We had a lovely weekend away just the two of us which was very special. However, a short walk that was partially uphill that we did this morning has absolutely ended me. I’m not fit anyway, although I could previously bash out 15km of walks in one day once upon a time. But since getting pregnant, going up the stairs is a challenge. So climbing up a hill and crazy outdoor steps made with sleepers that are really high had me defeated. In fairness, in one of my many breaks where I was hanging over a fence gasping for air, a very sporty looking pregnant lady went past us and even she looked a bit out of breath, so that was reassuring. My poor old heart made it to 170

Since we’ve come home I’ve felt awful and I had to take myself off to bed for a nap. Had some dinner, had a bath, now I’m lying in bed wondering how I am supposed to pretend to be a functioning human at work tomorrow. I’m humiliated to tell you the walk was 3.5k I managed a 4.5k walk on Friday which was gloriously flat, the only issue was it was hot hot hot (for Scotland) so I called it quits on any others on that day. Poor Mr D had designs on some 6km walks but it was not going to happen!

 

[Scorpihoe]

2 of my close friends both went into labour overnight after first sweeps! So have your hospital bag at the ready in case!

First time mums??

 

[clmay]

Feeling so deflated today. Due on Thursday and had an appointment today for a sweep. Midwife couldn’t do it as she couldn’t reach my cervix. They then couldn’t book me back in for another appointment as none of the midwives have any availability in their diary. I did however receive a phone call saying I’m booked in for induction on the 11th. I really do not want to be induced this time!

Fingers crossed for you. I went for my first sweep at 40+1 this time and she said I was 2cm dilated but head was no where near far down enough. I went into labour the following evening. It can happen so much quicker second time around! I also had been pressured to book an induction for 41 weeks but I told them I would be rearranging it to 41+6 earliest (unless there was a medical reason to have it).

 

[fishsticks]

I knew you ladies would come up trumps (get it) thanks so much!!! Going to have a look at all these options mainly the online ones. Living on an island has its pros, but the cons are definitely lack of shops including primark

 

[hippitybrode]

My BMI was 40/nearly 40 when I fell pregnant. Combined with my age, it being my first baby and a couple of other factors, it’s put me on the red/high risk pathway. However, it’s not really meant anything at all. I’ve had some extra BP and urine tests (all fine). I’ve had extra growth scans (had one of two, was absolutely fine). I’ve been weighed once during pregnancy, I wasn’t told the amount which I was fine with. I was told I had gained a perfectly normal amount of weight. I haven’t been told I can’t give birth in water and haven’t been told I have to be induced. I did get my file passed to an obstetrician who said I should have the GD test (had it, it was negative), i should deliver by 40+6, i should give birth in the main hospital. I do feel like i would be able to make any decision i wanted at this point though, given that so far (35+3) everything is absolutely fine. It feels like it was an early recommendation based on the likelihood that things could be more complicated for me. The only thing that stands in my way if having complete choice is my baby is breech and he’s still very high up with not much of any part of him in my pelvis, if he doesn’t turn i will opt for a c-section as I don’t want to risk trying to birth a breech baby naturally.

One sonographer wrote in my notes that she couldn’t do the NT measurement because of my BMI. This was horse shit. She couldn’t do it because the baby spent most of his time with his back to her scanner/in a difficult position, that was the primary problem. The fact that she jabbed me so hard I cried out to try and get him to turn was my main clue. She was a horrible woman and I made a complaint about her, but every other person I’ve encountered has been lovely, has not had issues because of my size and has not fat shamed me at all. In fact, it’s the most size-positive experience I’ve ever had in the NHS. Turns out it’s the GPs that are horrible and fat shaming, everyone else is a bit more balanced!

I hope you have the same sort of experience as me and congratulations!!

Wow that sonographer sounds horrific, good on you for making a complaint! It’s just a bit of sane perspective to remember that women of all sizes and health statuses give birth to healthy babies. But hard to keep in mind when you’re already in a fragile state and afraid of being judged by HCPs. I’ve never had it from a GP but became a bit obsessed with BMI as it was so important in the fertility clinic. Will probably do the GD test if I need to, Sounds like everything is going smoothly for you so far and like mushroomprincess, it really cheered me up to read this.

 

[ThisIsMyDragName]

The hormones are strong with me today. I’ve just lost my mind at MrDragName for being slow at ordering something online and not managing to navigate any of it properly. I haven’t got the worlds greatest amount of patience at the best of times and he and I have very different skill sets and he will lose his mind over stuff that I think is really simple so
I can’t empathise at all which is bad of me but I dunno, I saw red, had a total meltdown and a big crying fit. Now I feel like a total twat. I’ve had two big meltdowns this whole pregnancy and it makes me feel completely unhinged. The overwhelm is quite big with me at the moment which is no excuse for appalling behaviour, right enough. Meh. We were taking a stupidly long time to order a basic bitch thing when we have 50 bajillion things to do this weekend.

 

[ThisIsMyDragName]

I think I’ve misunderstood those bedside cribs. I think I assumed the crib mattress would be broadly the same height as our mattress and what was left of the side once you’d folded it down to the co-sleeping position would act as the ‘barrier’ between crib and bed. Our bed is really high so we couldn’t find much that we thought was suitable. But now I’m thinking I’ve got the wrong end of the stick and it’s ok for the crib mattress to be a bit lower than the adult’s mattress?

Am I even making sense?!

 

[fishsticks]

Don’t really know. The obstetrician did know I had covid, he didn’t make any sort of link to it. Nobody really ‘cares’ that I have covid (which I don’t mean from a ‘woe is me’ position, but I think because I have no underlying health conditions it’s basically seen the same as having a cold). I asked him about hydration, he didn’t seem to think it would make a difference to drink more water (he said ‘if you drink more, you pee more’) but the internet has mixed ideas. I’m trying to stay hydrated as part of getting rid of the covid plus I’ve generally had big cravings for icy cold drinks anyway during most of this pregnancy. Can only hope I go back on Monday and we discover he is swimming abundantly in the perfect amount of fluid having the time of his life doing a one-man synchronised swimming display . The reality is he is more likely to still be the most scrunched up baby anyone’s ever seen, he loves having all his limbs gathered up at his face, cosied in in his steadfastly breech position. If I regain enough fluid I could have an ECV but it almost seems a shame to disturb him at this point!

Hope you're doing okay, Mrs Drag Name.

This was 3 years so I'm unsure what the protocol is now, but I had growth scans including blood flow checks to baby every 4 weeks after I had covid at 21 weeks pregnant. They weren't sure how covid affected pregnancies at that point though and I'd hope they have a better idea by now.

Can't comment from personal experience of breech babies, but a friend had an ECV at 38 weeks, they managed to turn baby aaaaaaand by the time her waters went at 41 weeks she decided to flip back feet first again. They don't really know how since she was a 9lbs baby with little to no room to move but it just shows it's rare but possible.

You gotta do what feels right for you!

 

[ThisIsMyDragName]

Statutory mat pay doesn't even pay my mortgage let alone anything else. (Yes, we do have my husband's salary, but it's more for context) That's only for 9 months though, but then childcare between 9-12months is as much as my mortgage a month!!! Also trying to find a nursery space for under 1's or 1 - 2 is a nightmare where I live; it's like trying to find rocking horse shit. Lets make all that make sense.

Anywaaaaaaaaaay, would do anything for my babies so I'm ready for a wild ride.

It scares me how often I see people on our local FB page asking about childminders etc. and they can’t find anything, then there are these nursery places at either end of the street my house is on but one of them doesn’t even have a website so I can’t tell what age they take children from! And I’m like in what backwards world does anywhere not have a website now?! Might suggest to the Board we add a crèche to our organisation and just pop my son in as the first attendee. It’s not remotely related to the job but it’s the only solution I can think of! I haven’t even explored the costs of childcare, I’m not sure I can face it

 

[amarantine]

You will 100% still worry no matter what anyone tells you. However do remember that those ultra sound measurements are estimates and depends on a lot of different factors. You could get two different people measuring and two different results. The main thing is that you are getting the extra scans and monitoring. Worse case scenario they'll get their eviction notice at around 37 weeks if you are otherwise ok and they are worried about baby size

Early eviction notice wouldn’t be unwelcome considering we’re due so close to Christmas and our birthdays I do already have an extra scan at 32 weeks to see if the placenta is still low but I’ve sort of made peace with that because there is absolutely nothing I can do about it and I know if it is still too low it just means I will likely need a C-section but I am worried about growth as baby is already quite little - mind you neither myself nor mr amarantine are particularly tall people, he’s probably about average and I’m a bit shorter so we were always unlikely to have a massive baby I think…we shall see what the midwife says at my 24 week appt in a few weeks! My sister in law was told both her boys were measuring small and they were both around average when born, the younger one is in the 95th percentile now though, at 9 months he’s in 12-18 month clothes and a right chunk so I guess you can never quite tell!

 

[LittleMissMuffet]

Hope it’s gone ok today! I thought my last midwife appt was just BP and urine so I was wearing a strappy top tucked into my Simon Cowell maternity leggings with a dress/tunic over the top. Oh and under all of that were my Bridget Jones pants. I have recently just sized up in Primark’s full briefs and that seems to be fine for me but they are fecking massive. So… yeah. Took me about 10 minutes to pull one layer up, pull one layer down, pull the next layer up and so on. Oh, the shame. Wearing cargo pants and a cropped top with my bump out a la Nicole Appleton in the 90s to my next appt.

Between giving birth already and getting bikini waxes pre children - I have no shame anymore. I’m just like go for your life. But yeah I’ve been in a skirt and crop top for every scan and midwife app for easy access.