Pregnancy #64

[MissP]

How am I having a baby in 4 days hahahahahaha I am so not ready.

 

[Hinchhater1442]

Is this true? I was going to get my nails done this weekend 🫣

Me again I had gels on my nails, try not to sweat the small stuff XX

think of it as if you randomly went in today and suddenly needed a c section versus something you’re planning for. They have to perform emergency surgery in all sorts of situations, they’re not going to turn you away at theatre doors for having your nails done.
If you’re explicitly asked in advance not to do things then of course don’t go against advice, but if you went into labour right this second you wouldn’t necessarily have time to be thinking about unscrewing your bracelet, taking off your nails etc X

 

[clmay]

I hope I didn’t mean to sound like I was bragging, I wasn’t. Just wanted to share my experiences as I remember how terrified I was first time around especially when people were sharing not great stories. I think I wrote in my first message I was lucky but to reiterate I really know I am, it’s no flex things just went my way in birth. I apologise for any upset caused. Xxxx

No absolutely wasn’t referring to you at all. I love positive birth stories. It’s those who then translate that to everyone should be able to do it that annoys me.

 

[hazmaz]

I got obliterated the week before finding out about #1 most would say she turned out ok… I sometimes wonder but think it’s her dads genes lol

 

[littlepup]

For the breast pump queries, I’d wait until you know if you’ll definitely be able to Breast feed and It can really depend how your supply is as to what you’ll want.
They’re certainly not a must have item unless you want to give a bottle (some people choose to combi feed with formula rather than express) and you shouldn’t need it straight away unless you’re really struggling, even then Amazon will deliver next day.
If/when you do come to buy though have a Google of how to measure the correct flange size bearing in mind boobs will change when milk comes in.

 

[clmay]

Is anyone going to miss being pregnant?

don’t get me wrong I can’t wait to meet my baby but…I just love being pregnant now if I could skip the 1st trimester I’d do this 100 times over… I just love the feeling! People I don’t even know are offering me cups of tea, their seats, skipping the line, their table…don’t mind if I do

I don’t particularly enjoy being pregnant at all! It’s the lack of sleep for me. With first baby I slept better in the early sleep deprived days than I did in my third trimester. Now the weather is picking up I’m also reaaaaaaaly wanting a nice cold glass of wine in the garden!

 

[MissP]

I hope you find some way to sleep, maybe if you have a recliner or something? I'm sure your child will be fine and won't remember much.

I’m staying at my parents’ who live a few doors down as they have a lower bed I can get in and out of with crutches but I’m still so uncomfortable all the time I have to get up and move every hour.

She probably won’t remember but I had such lovely plans and stuff for us to do before the newest member arrives and I’m just gutted I can’t enjoy doing anything nice with her or take her anywhere special.

It’s just been a rough few weeks 🫠 thanks for listening to my complaining gals

 

[ThisIsMyDragName]

This isn’t directed at you/your friend but I hate the kind of “I had no pain relief” flex thing some women do. I think it makes women feel crap it they can’t breathe their way through it and even gives the wrong expectations. The fact is it it hurts more/less for different women. “Our bodies are built for it” is a lie, they’re not, hence the high mortalities before healthcare advances could assist. Even between my two labours, one was back to back and a totally different kind of pain to the other.
You just don’t know what you’ll get until you’re there. I totally think get the comb, tens, hypnobirthing etc but there’s no prizes for doing it without pain relief if you decide you need it in the event.

This is why my stupid book annoyed me. I know I sound like a man hating, bra burning feminist but if men were the baby carriers and birthers, there is absolutely no way there would ever be any school of thought of breathing through it/lighting a scented candle etc, whatever with no pain relief. There would be some sort of state of the art set up for them. I am CONVINCED of it.

I get that the various pain relief options have downsides of some description, but again, all of that would have been mitigated if men gave birth. See also: fitting coils without pain relief being the absolute norm till recently and still fairly common. A genuine trauma I’ve never gotten over (I went straight back to work and managed a Team Meeting and I don’t even know how! I have cringes to this day about it!)

 

[littlepup]

Planned c-sections advice was no polish on hands or toes, don’t wax or shave and no fake tan!

 

[RoseyThorney]

I had builder gel done on my nails the Saturday before I had my elective c-section - I was told by a midwife that pale, light colours don’t affect the oxygen monitor. So pale pink it was. Didn’t cause a problem at all.

 

[Shinythings]

I don’t see why not? I didn’t change my diet at all in any of my pregnancies (other than alcohol obviously but did have a wee sip now and then and no pate). Rare steak, blue cheese, cold meat, runny eggs etc is all good. You’re more likely to catch something from pre bagged salad x

Same. You're not more at risk of coming into contact with bugs just because you're pregnant, just more susceptible to any possible side effects. So really don't stress about it.

 

[Shinythings]

I feel like I've been burying my head in the sand a bit and not thinking about the actual labour but know I need to start thinking about a birth plan etc soon.
A close friend and my sister both had traumatic labours which ended up in emergency c sections which does make me worry, so hearing some positive birth stories definitely helps as well. But i am fully aware not everything goes to plan and am trying to stay open minded which is easier said than done with my anxiety!
I have been listening to a hypno birthing audio book that has actually been interesting and helpful.

Yes, definitely listen to positive birth stories. Bad ones are like bad news, people talk about them because they are bad and need to speak about them to work through them but many people have positive births or OK births.

 

[AilimeEsor]

Tattlers..

I’ve just found out I’m pregnant w baby number 4. Wasn’t planned but I’m not unhappy about it! One afternoon without the kids and this happens

anyway, my last baby was premature (35 weeks) he PPHN and was very poorly. Is there any extra care or anything for women who’ve had prem babies? Also, I really want a vaginal birth. Has anyone had a VBA3C? I feel like I’m clutching at straws

 

[LittleMissMuffet]

Ah thank you everyone I’m very upset about it. I’m getting married next June and would have so loved a baby before hand as I’m pushing 36. I had a miscarriage in December and just don’t seem to have any luck

If it helps at all - I fell pregnant with my first 4 months after my 36th birthday. I’m now pregnant with my second and I turned 40 last august. TTC and pregnancy at any age is an anxiety filled process. Sending you lots of love!

 

[themuffinwoman]

My mum has been offering to come and help but I’m not sure what this means. MrDragName has to travel for work and whilst his bosses do understand there is going to be a period of time when he will basically refuse, that can’t last forever. So we assumed MotherDragName might come and just be a second person when MrDragName is away, at least the first time. But I get the feeling she is up for moving in for a few weeks and honestly, as much as the thought of getting to grips with this parenting lark makes me feel overwhelmed AF, I think MrDragName and I just want to go it alone with the appropriate tattle thread for newborns and google as our friends

I think you learn quite quickly who is a help and who is a hindrance when you have a baby. Hopefully she’ll be a help, it might not be too bad when MrDragName is away as you can just do your own thing parenting is overwhelming but you find your rhythm, which is very unhelpful of me to say but genuinely, you get to know what works for you and the baby ****


*** and is the path of least resistance

Hope that’s not patronising, my daughter is 2 now and these threads have a special place in my heart as they were so helpful when I was pregnant and unmaternal AF.

 

[LittleMissMuffet]

I'm so sorry. But please do trust it's nothing that you did and the alcohol would just have been a coincidence.

Was thinking the exact same thing.

 

[Vmanxx]

Idk I feel like woman aren’t allowed to talk about when their birth goes well or if they’re proud of how they handled it. Only difficult births and “I wanted all the drugs” stories are socially acceptable because you’re made to feel preachy or braggy when you share the opposite.

My first 2 were pretty good MLU water births (other than the awful aftercare which was verging on traumatic with no1) with gas and air and my other 2 were wonderful home births with only paracetamol and a hot water bottle for no4..but I often don’t feel welcome to share that for fear of making other mums feel bad or upset about their own birth stories

Were often told it doesn’t matter as long as everyone’s safe and healthy but for many of us, it does matter that we’re able and supported to achieve a drug free/water/home/insert whatever here, birth.

 

[clmay]

100% I slept better in the newborn days with my first than in the third trimester! I was getting a few 2 hour stretches of deep sleep at least vs absolutely no deep sleep at all in the last few weeks.

 

[lilykestrel]

I'm either ravenous or completely uncomfortably full at the moment. It's like being on an all inclusive but I'm in the office

 

[Spencerskates]

You lot are Mystic Megs, MrDragName had just stumbled upon the Ocarro after I posted and it looks like it would be great for us. There appears to be local second hand options on FB Marketplace too. Our plan is to go to some sort of Baby Superstore to look at loads of things and we will make sure wherever we decide to go has this so we can try it out regardless of where we decide to buy it.

I feel like a mad cheapskate for wanting to buy lots second hand but the costs are mind blowing and I’m staring down the barrel of a 78% pay cut after the first 6 weeks of SMP are over and we didn’t quite have the saving money time we thought we would, so I’d like to make sure there’s something left to be responsive to what Junior likes once they’re here (whatever baby activities there might be etc).

We bought everything new with our first and I actually really regret it. We spent literally thousands, it could have given me another couple of months off with him, a holiday etc. babies truly don’t care if their pram is new or not! And we didn’t actually use our big travel system for that long, as we found a small stroller way more practical once he hit 12 months.