Pregnancy #62

[Keera]

I set my WhatsApp settings so that people couldn’t see if I was online/read their message and casually announced a blanket rule that I was taking a break away from my phone in the last few weeks whilst I rested and prepared for labour…. This actually only applied to my MIL but she thought it was for everyone so made the blow a little softer
I also dropped into convo that people messaging only to see if I was in labour/if the baby was here were being ignored. Didn’t stop her sending the message but I ignored it anyway. I needed her to understand that my rules and boundaries applied to her as sometimes those close family members/friends hear what you’re saying but don’t think it applies to them!

This is actually great advice that I’m going to take on board - my in laws listen to what we say (no visitors to hospital we will let you know when we are ready for you to come and meet baby - which will be within a couple of days I don’t mean WEEKS) but then they just act as if we mean everyone ELSE and not them!
Partner finally explained there will be no long stays with them or overnights for at least 6 months as I’m intending to breastfeed which caused a bit of a sulk if I’m honest.
I get they are excited but I feel like there is an entitlement to the baby there which is getting my back up.
It’s such stark contrast to my own parents who are so laid back they are horizontal and while they are excited they are very much “whatever you need us to do we will do it”.

Sorry @Greencatfysh I’m always piggybacking onto the in laws posts it’s truly my biggest stresser at the moment

 

[Greencatfysh]

This is actually great advice that I’m going to take on board - my in laws listen to what we say (no visitors to hospital we will let you know when we are ready for you to come and meet baby - which will be within a couple of days I don’t mean WEEKS) but then they just act as if we mean everyone ELSE and not them!
Partner finally explained there will be no long stays with them or overnights for at least 6 months as I’m intending to breastfeed which caused a bit of a sulk if I’m honest.
I get they are excited but I feel like there is an entitlement to the baby there which is getting my back up.
It’s such stark contrast to my own parents who are so laid back they are horizontal and while they are excited they are very much “whatever you need us to do we will do it”.

Sorry @Greencatfysh I’m always piggybacking onto the in laws posts it’s truly my biggest stresser at the moment

Don’t worry, we’re in the same boat!

 

[Shinythings]

Agreed, call the midwife @yankydoo fingers crossed it’s nothing but worth checking
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I’m getting so annoyed with my MIL as my due date approaches. I’d love to hear how others actually dealt with this when going into labour. She has made multiple comments about feeling entitled to see her grandchild asap and come round asap, blah blah. We’ve said we’ll see how we feel (which is even more pertinent now as 3 of my NCT course friends have now had their babies and have stayed in hospital for 5-7 days, so you never know what to expect!)

Now MIL is messaging to make sure we keep her updated (I.e via WhatsApp etc). I’ve said we’ll share our news when we are ready! I don’t know what more she wants - a running update of my cervix dilation and which meds I’m on?!

I fully understand it’s an exciting time for everyone and im probably just sensitive about it but I wish everyone would just go away. Obviously if something goes wrong or me or baby are unwell we’ll share news asap. I just am getting so annoyed about the feeling of everyone looming over me when I just want to focus on me and my baby and my husband and have it as a special, private time
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I wish I could remind them that in the 80s and 90s they had to wait for a phone call, people are too used to 500 WhatsApp’s and day and photos asap!

Boundaries! Is your partner on your side. I would just be very clear that family will be updated as and when and there is no need to keep contacting for updates during labour. I would even go so far as to say 'we will be focusing on our baby's delivery and won't be responding to messages'.

Then after again, when we feel ready, we will invite you all to meet them. We want to take time to settle and whilst we appreciate you are excited, we don't want to feel overwhelmed. I'd also maybe chuck something in there about how having too many visitors and disruption too soon after birth is linked to PND.

 

[Kaylarina]

This is actually great advice that I’m going to take on board - my in laws listen to what we say (no visitors to hospital we will let you know when we are ready for you to come and meet baby - which will be within a couple of days I don’t mean WEEKS) but then they just act as if we mean everyone ELSE and not them!
Partner finally explained there will be no long stays with them or overnights for at least 6 months as I’m intending to breastfeed which caused a bit of a sulk if I’m honest.
I get they are excited but I feel like there is an entitlement to the baby there which is getting my back up.
It’s such stark contrast to my own parents who are so laid back they are horizontal and while they are excited they are very much “whatever you need us to do we will do it”.

Sorry @Greencatfysh I’m always piggybacking onto the in laws posts it’s truly my biggest stresser at the moment

See, with us it was the other way around. My in-laws were very much "we'll work on your terms" and that was with them being on the other side of the world, whereas my family seemed to think they had a right to see our girls the moment they were born - despite them having next to no input in our lives and only seeing them a handful of times since then.

In the end, we didn't tell my family our first daughter had been born until she were about 3 or 4 days old.

It's also hard because as much as you can prepare, you don't know how you are going to feel until they are born and you've gone through labour. Yours might be quick and you feel comfortable seeing people earlier or it might be long and you're too tired to even entertain the though.

 

[Spencerskates]

Just having a little brain dump here, but I’m so torn on my birth preferences. We had an elective section with baby skates #1 and honestly had such a positive experience, and I recovered really well. I did feel though that I missed out on that ‘rush’ or relief moment when he was born because it was SO calm and organised and I feel like that affected my bond with him at first. I’m also scared of the recovery with an almost 2 year old in tow.

I really don’t want to be induced, and would choose another elective section over an induction, but I love the idea of a spontaneous VBAC. My only issue is that I really don’t want it to end in an emergency section, which I appreciate that you have no control over, so I feel like my only option is another ELCS.

 

[scouseconstantine]

Girls if you’ve got back ache in the third trimester go to a pregnancy massage my word that woman healed me midwives and doctors wouldn’t do anything bc and just recommended paracetamol but that woman had the hands of god and I can walk again

 

[yankydoo]

Thanks all for your help. I went to triage and both mine and baby’s heart rate was really high for a while and there was talk of admitting me to the labour ward. However thankfully it all settled down and I’ve been discharged. Bloods came back clear and they think it may be viral.

 

[JombleWomble]

Girls if you’ve got back ache in the third trimester go to a pregnancy massage my word that woman healed me midwives and doctors wouldn’t do anything bc and just recommended paracetamol but that woman had the hands of god and I can walk again

All I've asked for for my birthday this year is a pregnancy massage and I'm so excited for it! I'm so happy for you.

 

[themuffinwoman]

Just having a little brain dump here, but I’m so torn on my birth preferences. We had an elective section with baby skates #1 and honestly had such a positive experience, and I recovered really well. I did feel though that I missed out on that ‘rush’ or relief moment when he was born because it was SO calm and organised and I feel like that affected my bond with him at first. I’m also scared of the recovery with an almost 2 year old in tow.

I really don’t want to be induced, and would choose another elective section over an induction, but I love the idea of a spontaneous VBAC. My only issue is that I really don’t want it to end in an emergency section, which I appreciate that you have no control over, so I feel like my only option is another ELCS.

Hi! I’m still just lurking (I say that like we’re trying to get pregnant but we’re not ) but given I had an EMCS with mini muffin and I think about what would happen with a second, thought I might add my Penny’s worth….

Your induction methods will be limited because you’ve already had a section so it’s worth speaking to the hospital about what’s possible. As I understand it different hospitals do different things, so you might be given the option of waiting for labour to come on naturally or an elective section.

I wasn’t induced and still ended up with an EMCS, the procedure itself was fine in terms of both me and baby were fine, but my recovery was rubbish and I was knackered/in shock which I think is the big difference between them. I also hate not being in control, so whilst I would do the same thing 1000 times over to have her safe and healthy, it has taken a long time and therapy for me to come to terms with it all.

I’ve said when friends ask that like you I would probably want a VBAC if I could be guaranteed a VBAC without an EMCS or an elective section.

A friend who had an EMCS had a successful VBAC 2 years later, she was told if she went overdue she could choose to have a section at any point so if the doctor gave you the ok you could just wait and see how you feel before making any decision.

Sorry for the ramble hope that makes sense, it’s on my mind too and I’m not even pregnant lol.

 

[WeepingCassandra]

@themuffinwoman I think about it a lot too, not pregnant but thinking about it in the next year or so and I do wonder often whether I would have felt happier with a planned C section than the induction I had (which is not necessary to discuss on this thread!). A big part of the fog for me those first weeks was trying to recover from the lengthy time I was in labour which if I'd elected for a C section wouldn't have occured!

 

[anything at all]

20 week scan at fetal medicine today
Nervous as I know they had a couple of concerns last time but with low risk results on nipt it does help us worry a little less.. I really hope they don’t find anything else wrong as it’s already been such a rollercoaster to this point

Also hope we actually get a scan photo this time as if everything is okay with baby we will finally be telling some family/friends that don’t know yet
The last 2 scans they didn’t give us one but that was outside of the 12 week scan so maybe it’s normal they don’t.

 

[Greencatfysh]

20 week scan at fetal medicine today
Nervous as I know they had a couple of concerns last time but with low risk results on nipt it does help us worry a little less.. I really hope they don’t find anything else wrong as it’s already been such a rollercoaster to this point

Also hope we actually get a scan photo this time as if everything is okay with baby we will finally be telling some family/friends that don’t know yet
The last 2 scans they didn’t give us one but that was outside of the 12 week scan so maybe it’s normal they don’t.

We had to ask specifically for photos with the NHS scans as they charge you for them now 🫠 just remember to ask at the start! Fingers crossed all goes perfectly for you xx

 

[anything at all]

We had to ask specifically for photos with the NHS scans as they charge you for them now 🫠 just remember to ask at the start! Fingers crossed all goes perfectly for you xx

Thank you, I really hope it goes okay, and no new worries

Our scan department always charged for them with my first pregnancy but at our 12 week scan this time they were free as they said the payment machine was broken

Even the 2 scans I had with epu at the start they gave me scan pics free - I didn’t even have to ask for them!

At fetal medicine I’ve had 2 scans there now and no scan pictures but think I will ask today to make sure we get something then ! At worst I’ve got a terrible scan picture from window to the womb at 17 weeks that I could show people 🫠

 

[anything at all]

We’ve been discharged from fetal medicine !

Need to go back to antenatal for scans later on because placenta is covering cervix. But everything with baby actually looks okay now

We did get some scan pics (had to ask) and did not have to pay for them

 

[Greencatfysh]

We’ve been discharged from fetal medicine !

Need to go back to antenatal for scans later on because placenta is covering cervix. But everything with baby actually looks okay now

We did get some scan pics (had to ask) and did not have to pay for them

Ahh amazing, so happy for you 🩷

 

[sushimama]

Ahh that's great news, so happy to hear!

I've just done my glucose test, was a little surprised I got a little dizzy after about 30mins but I went out to get some fresh air and felt fine after. But actually the worst part was that I had to be there at 6.30 am.

 

[Keera]

I just put baby’s name down for nursery I was nearly in tears thinking about leaving her already god knows what I’ll be like next year when she actually goes

@anything at all I’m so pleased for you, as you know I’ve been following along your journey on the other thread and I’ve been quietly confident and hoping for this outcome for you 🩷

 

[mashedbananapancakes]

Ahh that's great news, so happy to hear!

I've just done my glucose test, was a little surprised I got a little dizzy after about 30mins but I went out to get some fresh air and felt fine after. But actually the worst part was that I had to be there at 6.30 am.

I had my GTT this morning. No coffee from waking up at 7am until 1130am was the worst bit for me

The drink actually wasn't that bad either but I did feel a bit weird for 20 minutes after having it but hopefully everything will be alright!

 

[Kaylarina]

I just put baby’s name down for nursery I was nearly in tears thinking about leaving her already god knows what I’ll be like next year when she actually goes

I’m so thankful I’ve not had to do that with mine so far. I do t mi d leaving them with family but nursery...I would be in floods dropping them off

 

[workaholic99]

Hi everyone, I’m 34 weeks tomorrow (yikes) and at my 34 wk appt today baby has jumped from 50th to 95th centile.
I have another GTT on Tues to check GD isn’t the cause - has anybody else had a jump like this?
I’m a bit worried they will push to induce me early if I do have GD / the growth is unexplained, which I really don’t want as am hoping for a home birth and it could impact that.
Thank you