Pregnancy #62

[Amylaauren]

I’m sure everything will be ok for both of you, 4th babies! Wow! My only advice would be to keep going in to see midwives whenever you are worried.
@Jaybob totally missed your first comment - how is your partner taking it all now? Xx
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Happy birthday I’m 36 weeks so feel your pain, it’s a long slog and I feel like I’ve totally lost my body, social life, energy to work, etc. it’s so hard. Sorry you aren’t getting enough support. Have you joined any local groups or antenatal classes? I’ve found the small group of women I’ve met through mine super helpful already!

We are starting our course next Saturday! So will try and make some friends there haha

 

[themuffinwoman]

anyone else’s gut feeling about their babies gender correct?
I’m sure with my first I thought he was a boy from fairly early and was correct. I did have boy feelings at first this time but more recently over the last few weeks been feeling more toward girl. Maybe wishful thinking since we already have a boy.

I was told at my fetal medicine scan on Wednesday that I have a left lateral placenta some theory says girls on the left and boys on the right - but not always the case

it really is just one of those things that’s 50/50 isn’t it?

I’m still waiting on test results so I don’t know why I’m letting myself get attached here 🥲

No all the old wives’ tales pointed towards boy, everyone had a “feeling” she was a boy, Inc my MIL who had had a dream I was pregnant the day we told her…. I thought she was a boy, always thought I would have a boy then BAM. Girl. I was shook.

 

[Super_Berry]

Oh I feel you. I don't have this issue with our in laws because they don't live here, but I feel it with my parents. Honestly you would think I was a teenager the way they have been commenting as if we have no idea at all what were doing.

My parents are helping us out financially which has been amazing, but they do seem to think they'll be here a lot. I'm starting to feel v.anxious about the few weeks after birth. The idea of being sore and bleeding and trying to breast feed with an audience of my parents and in laws (they are visiting post-birth) for a few days is making me so stressful. I'm trying to pull back contact with my parents just now a little - saying we're busy at weekend and not texting back as quickly - in the lead up to the birth. But god it's hard because this is our first grandchild for our parents too and I know they're excited.
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Yeah exactly! Very generous of ours to offer but they only offered after we’d already gone shopping and then made it sound like we should have included them. I just hate passive aggressiveness!

totally agree re not keeping up with new guidance. I’ve already mentioned things like safe sleep, which blankets we can/can’t use, having baby downstairs with us all day and therefore needing a downstairs sleep space - all met with laughs and some eye rolls about how silly it all is nowadays. So nice for a first time mum to deal with!!

Oh I had this with my dad when I explained that people don't use cot bumpers (is that what they're called?!) anymore and my mum rolling her eyes when I told her I plan to batch cook and freeze some meals for us.

 

[101d]

Did anyone go on a babymoon or are any of you planning a babymoon? If so, where are you going (or where have you been?) and how far along will you be (or were you?)?

Baby is expected about 8 weeks before our wedding so Mr Rosey and I have canned our joint hen/stag do (which was honestly just going to be us two going out on the piss in Glasgow ) and we’re wanting ideas on babymoons or things we can do before she arrives.

Going to Menorca in 2 weeks, I’ll be 20 weeks pregnant. I can’t wait.

It was already booked and was meant to be a get-pissed-friends-holiday. Everyone is still going, I’ll just be on Lemonade and in bed by 9!

 

[Beanpop442]

At what point do I contact the gp? Currently 4 weeks so still super early and I don’t want to jump the gun on things and jinx it!

I contacted my Gp at 6 weeks (when I found out!) and they referred me to the midwives and I heard back from them saying they would contact me to arrange a booking appt between 8-10 weeks, then I got a letter at 8 weeks for my 12wk scan, booking appt at 8+4. Xx

 

[ASAnigel]

For those mentioning that they’d rather be scheduled for a c-section than be induced, could I ask for insight on the reasoning behind this? I’m wondering if this is something I should consider myself, especially since I want to avoid an induction as long as possible.

Personally for me I would like to avoid as many invasive internal checks/interventions as possible due to previous trauma and anxiety surrounding it. I know during a vaginal birth they will also happen but I don’t want more than medically necessary and if I’m struggling with them I can request pain relief so that I’m less aware of what’s going on.
I also am a bit of a control freak and get anxious with things outside my control and detest being in hospitals so the thought of waiting around for potentially days to see if one thing works and then the next thing etc just really doesn’t sit well with me, on top of the above anxiety.

No other reasons really, just the more I’ve considered what might happen if we go over and I’ve thought about the process of induction I’m just not comfortable with it and the last thing I want is severe anxiety surrounding my baby’s birth before it even happens!

 

[Keera]

Which one did you get?

Ours came last week and currently sitting in the house waiting to be put together.

How do women get through the last weeks of pregnancy functioning at work? I'm 33 weeks today and have 5.5 weeks left before maternity leave. I loathe to go off earlier but really don't know how I'm going to get through the final weeks. I have an office job and can WFH so it's not even that bad. I really admire women with physical jobs because I wouldn't survive.

we went for the Cybex gazelle with the cloud T Car seat.
The car seat was what attracted us to it in the first place!

and on ur other point I’m V lucky as I relocated last month so basically started mat leave at 21weeks it’s beeen lovely the last 4 weeks having lie ins and watching box sets

 

[Greencatfysh]

Did anyone do/is anyone planning to do colostrum harvesting? That + perineum massage being two things I should do from now on is giving me a bit of ick

 

[Bingobango]

Im lucky because my mum bought our pram set for us but i hated looking around John Lewis and mamas and papas knowing I couldn’t afford their cheapest sets while everyone else was just loving it.

have you looked in smyths toy store? Their travel systems are really reasonable and they have models in the floor in the baby bit so you can have a push and a try

I was the same after visiting mama and papas but we went to smyths and I found a travel bundle for way less than mamas and papas.

 

[sushimama]

The baby has found my bladder. 🥲

 

[PrincessShark]

My gut says I’m having a boy this time…I will update you in 2-7 weeks depending on when this baby wants to come

 

[Super_Berry]

Thanks ladies! We have built our pram and put the cot part on it today so I feel a bit more.. prepared I’ve had (early) losses before so I just feel like I still can’t quite believe this happening and I’m kind of scared now that it is

another question. I will ask my midwife but I don’t see her til next week and it doesn’t seem quite so urgent to call about it - my nausea and vomiting is back and I’m back to only being able to really stomach bland foods. Partner made a lovely looking curry last night and the smell I just couldn’t bear it. Also feeling sick handling/cookjng raw meat etc, same as what it was in the first trimester! Is this normal?! Can this happen ?! I could cry at the thought of going through this again

My sickness only really went away from week 18-22ish and has been back since. It's not as bad, but I'm still sick every morning and I'd say on average like 5 times a day, with some days being a lot worse and others a little better.

I honestly thought it would have stopped by now so it's been pretty tiring..I'm 32 weeks now and just trying to get through it.

 

[Vmanxx]

I thought we both wanted and agreed to keep this baby’s gender a surprise for family until he was born but my partner ruined it today and might as well have just straight up told his family we are having another boy…

His step dad was talking about how we’ll have our hands full one day with 2, 3, 4 or more… and my partner decided to reply with ‘oh yes, we will probably have to keep going after 2 until we get a girl..’

No comment was really made by anyone but there’s no way that anyone present would’ve not missed that this baby is clearly a boy from what was said.

Might as well tell my family too now 🫠

I don’t think we will have more though, I thought we’d already discussed that 🫠 I don’t want to chance having 3 boys

God sake that’s so frustrating 🫠
But side note - 3 boys is the biggest blessing I’ve ever been given, 100% would choose it a million times over! That said, with 4 boys between us a girl this time would be nice, knowing me it’ll be boy no5

 

[anything at all]

Do they warn you before they look at the genitals? I don't want to accidentally find out that way.

We had a private gender scan and I had told them I wanted it in an envelope for later and they just got me to look away a ton. I never once saw.

At my 20 week nhs scan I didn’t notice them looking at all I assume they did since it’s a full check to make sure baby looks all good and healthy but I know baby is a boy from the gender scan and nipt blood test and I didn’t notice anything.

You can always let the sonographer know before a scan that you don’t want to know the gender, I’m sure they’d tell you to look away at the right times

 

[BWinter]

Thank you for all the replies. I think the posters saying about being able to get over the (short lived) disappointment if it’s not the one you were hoping for is ringing true for me. I feel like it’s going to be so overwhelming in the post-birth moments that if it’s the “wrong” sex it will just seem so much worse, but then more than likely I’m just going to be so relieved he/she is here that it won’t matter and there’s going to be all sorts of other emotions going on anyway. Probably worrying for nothing so I can take this off my long list of other things I’m worrying about!

 

[WeepingCassandra]

No idea. Said all they had left was an emergency appt but obviously I know I don’t qualify for that. She said to try again tomorrow morning at 8:30 so that’s my last hope. Fed up of not being able to eat and feeling sick all the time

Why don't you think you need an emergency appointment? If you can't eat then you're really struggling and I would say that is a totally appropriate use of it, as you need some anti-sickness meds to try and help it.

 

[sushimama]

Just listen to your body and find something manageable to snack on all the time, hunger was making me sick too so I ate a lot of miso soups and toast with butter. My nausea was the worst at night when I was waking up to go pee 26234327x a night and I felt bad eating toast at 2am but my body really needed it for those couple of weeks and then it passed. Don't feel bad, everything's temporary and if the only thing you manage to eat is junk then eat junk, it's only for a short time. And try ginger tea, it's great for nausea.

 

[Jaybob]

Does anyone have any advice on how to navigate in laws being a bit too … excited?
First grandchild on both sides and while I’m grateful (really truly) for all the help and advice we are getting already (25 weeks .. when did that happen ) my experience with my own parents has been so laid back in comparison to my in laws and I’m starting to already get stressed about how much they plan to be involved!
My own parents have offered help and advice when asked and my mums taken me shopping to pick things out myself and has been happy to buy - with a couple of little nice surprises like toys and books. But the “big important things” they’ve always let me and partner choose without any input unless asked.
my in laws are buying are travel system which is lovely BUT they insisted on also coming to the appointment (fine) and gave a running commentary on why the pram/car seat would not be suitable for THEM!! for example, FIL made the sales woman try pram out in both ours and their car - it fits in ours but needs a wheel off to fit in his. He says this is going to be “unmanageable”.
I fear they think they will have the baby a lot without me and partner and I am unsure where they get this from as we have only broached them having a day a week when I go back to work when baby’s 9 months?
They are also already booking weekends away wanting to take us and the baby when I’ve been quite clear to partner I want our first holiday with baby to be the three of us, and I’m already dreading explaining I do not want any visitors to the hospital provided baby and I are well and go home in a day or two after birth.
Partner is aware of my wishes and knows his parents can be “hard headed” but I don’t think he realises how tense I’m getting over this
Maybe I’m being unreasonable but I’m worried about small tensions causing a huge blow up in the future

I understand your concerns, but my entire family is dead. His mother "wanted to watch me breastfeed as she never could" I had no idea and she stared at my tits. Despite this, I honestly would have loved some competent help and would have thrown my baby at anyone who would have taken him, just to get some rest. Even when I was really sick and couldn't cope, she never came to help, EVER. Please set some boundaries about the hospital and first holiday,then just gladly accept any help going! You're so lucky.

I'm now isolated in a foreign country and hubby went to work instead of my scan today, so here I am preparing to be a married single mother of two

 

[Jaybob]

Just call and reassure yourself I’ve never needed my notes, it’s always been fine

Sorry everyone. My friend is married to a top gynaecologist. YOU MUST TAKE YOUR NOTES ABSOLUTELY EVERYWHERE WITH YOU. I made a folder with old family baby photos on it and carried it in a large handbag. If something happens to you, the notes MUST go with you. OK, the chances are hopefully very slim (not for me, I have a 53% chance of miscarriage ). But if you collapse at work/Tesco, who is going to think to go to your car to get your notes? Carry them everywhere

 

[WeHadFunRight]

I'm just repeating the advice of one of the top gynaecologists in the UK. He went mad at his wife and made her carry them everywhere! I also chose to take his advice.

When though? Everything is moving on to systems. When I had my first 6 years ago everything was notes based but now there’s a digital transition happening throughout the country. I had my second last year and whilst my trust wasn’t fully paperless some already were.