Pregnancy #54

[Greenfly125]

32 weeks today. These last 5-6 weeks have flown by. Started to wash all of baby’s clothes today. They’re so little hung up on the clothes airer 🥹

 

[Greencatfysh]

Great news for you guys on the scans 🩷

Spoiler: TW anxiety

I’m 5w3days. I’m testing every day just to keep having the thrill of seeing these dark lines. Got an EPU scan at week 7, still such anxiety over it all. Last time our embryo stopped growing at about 6 weeks. So hopeful it’s all going to be ok

 

[littlepup]

I'll be 37 by the time baby is due so I'm terrified about hearing all the risks that come with being classed as an 'older' mum.
But at the same time I'm also excited to officially start this journey with the NHS, I'm hoping it makes this all feel more real.

I was 38 first time and this time I’ll be forty fucking two! They’ve not said a thing and when I’ve joked about being old they’ve said ‘not at all’. In waiting rooms for scans etc you can see why.
Only negative was when I asked about vaginal or c-sec delivery and a midwife said ‘with having one before and your age, I’d go C-sec’ but the consultant said that was bolllocks and it made no diff.

OH is quite a bit younger. He’d not worked it out I’ll be X age when baby turns Y, which admittedly does worry me. But actually he’s probably more susceptible to poor health then me based on genetics so you can’t win.

 

[raspberryjuice]

Good luck to those having scans tomorrow hope all goes well! We’ve got our 4D scan this week and I’m so excited to see his little face, but also so nervous. What if he’s ugly?!

I had a dream the past 2 nights about burgers then couldn’t stop thinking about them all day so Mr R got us them for dinner. Promptly threw mine up before even finishing the last mouthful. Obviously. Pregnancy is weird.

Welcome @Greencatfysh and congratulations I’m sure they’ll understand later on but I’d do exactly the same as you and pull out, especially if it’s not someone I’m overly close to. I might still cover the cost of my place if they couldn’t fill it with someone else though but I’d absolutely be prioritising myself and baby over a hen do

 

[Greenfly125]

My 34 week midwife appointment today was horrendous. Not the usual my midwife who I was looking forward to chatting to there were 3 of them in the consulting room, plus me and my partner so it was a bit cramped. No one said why there was so many of them there but they were clearly students at various stages of their training. They just blundered their way through the appointment, took my urine sample without gloves on, I sort of hesitated handing it to her, took my blood pressure and made me blow into the carbon monoxide device at the same, gave me no confidence in the fundal height measurements and her marking it on the charts ‍ I just laughed about it but my partner was furious.

 

[Laughalong]

So. I think I’ve made a mistake… if anyone needs a reminder the one who really wants a girl is me.

I had my NHS 12 weeks scan on Monday, and it turns out I’m 13 weeks. On the pictures it really does look like a girl, the nub is very flat, not angled up at all and I do think it’s a girl from that.

I went for a 13 week early gender scan last night, and she said it’s “100% a boy”. How can you say 100%? At 13 weeks! Even the NHS can never say that much further on. She said it’s “her business, she’s been doing it for ages and she’s 100% sure, otherwise she wouldn’t let me leave”. Naturally, I was teary. Shock tears. It’s the first time I’d actually considered the possibility it was a boy. Getting home however, I’ve read 10+ reviews of her being wrong, giving the wrong gender. So not sure why she keeps saying 100% lol. I will say, the nub on the printed picture from this scan is way more angled! It’s like two different babies seriously.

My head was up my arse, getting all upset. My poor partner trying to make me feel better, but not knowing how. So I’ve woke up today realising I need to basically disregard her opinion, 13 weeks IS too early to be taking the answer as fact, and this woman is less than reliable. I just shouldn’t have gone really! It has also made me realise though I do need to get my head around the fact you don’t always get what you “want” and a boy is a blessing too. So just gonna shut up, relax, and focus on baby. Whatever will be, will be. I spoke to my dad (he’s a tough love approach) and he firstly asked me what I’m doing messing around with gender scans so early, and then told me to grow up, which I will do. With immediate effect

 

[Brewtime87]

I'm so happy for you @Lucyxxxx
I've still got a bit of spotting, but I'm trying not to worry. Going by cycle dates I'd be 7 weeks now, but if I try and go by date of when I believe we conceived I'd be just short of 6 weeks, so now I'm being daft and worrying all over again that it's too soon to find anything on a scan. Only a couple hours til I find out though.

 

[Lucyxxxx]

Waiting for my scan. Got 10 mins to wait as I'm early. Abit nerve.

 

[Hinchhater1442]

Last night was the worst time yet, but the problem is that he's always been like this with drink if he hasn't got someone helping him pace himself or stopping him from mixing too much. He doesn't know his limits and ends up losing communication with me, sometimes even with the people he's out with, he'll often just walk off without anyone knowing but he'll get himself lost. He's nearly missed flights home on stag dos in the past as he drunkenly walks off and spends the night not knowing where he is. Ended up in hospital before after taking an unsafe route.
He's never anywhere he shouldn't be, never cheated, but always totally alone and completely unaware of his surroundings. 98 percent of time he'll eventually pick up the phone to me but he won't be able to explain where he is if I ask him to name shops, pubs etc he can see. He can't even work out how to order an uber. I'll usually end up driving round trying to track him down before finding him stumbling along somewhere.
Then every time he'll be so upset with himself the next day, there'll be tears, he'll say he doesn't understand how he gets so drunk. Says he understands why I worry, and he'll spend the next day constantly apologising. Says it won't happen again. But its happening every time he goes out without me. I don't want to get to a point where I tell him he's no longer allowed out without me, but I don't know what else I can do, and I don't understand how an adult in their mid thirties is so unable to control their drinking.

Firstly I want to say I’m so sorry you’re having to put up with this.
But (and I might be being harsh here) I wouldn’t be putting up with this. If you were my best friend I’d be telling you that he needs to sort his shit out or leave. You can’t be taking your baby out in the middle of the night searching for him, so the alternative is you sit at home worrying knowing he’s wandering the streets lost. And when you’re sleep deprived with a baby, the last thing you need to be is awake worrying!
I appreciate the next day he’s a sorry grovelling mess, and the circumstance that led to his drinking last night is sad, but you can’t live like this forever. Why does he still drink knowing the situation he can get himself into? You shouldn’t have to be there to pace him. Why isn’t not drinking an option? Would seem the sensible/grown up thing to do if you know you can’t handle it.
I’d personally want to get this sorted before baby comes, you really don’t want to be having these conversations with a newborn
I’m sorry, I know being pregnant can be a tough ride without this on top. Take care of yourself X

 

[raspberryjuice]

Did they hook you up to the monitor with the pads on your tummy thing? (not sure what it's called)

No, she listened in with a doppler for about 20 mins and his heartbeat was good and steady so she said he’s probably just tired and having a lazy day I mean, what’s he got to be tired about?! we’re on bed rest because of bleeding, it’s not like I’ve been running a marathon and had him bouncing around in there to wear him out I’ll go back this afternoon if he doesn’t move again. He’s had a pretty good pattern for a few weeks up til now so it is worrying me.

 

[Brewtime87]

Thank you ladies! Your responses are all so reassuring. I'm really hoping I get my scan date today too, I just want to start being able to tell people

 

[Tazzie]

just wanting to ask as im due to get my whooping cough jab tomorrow morning at 10am but im really nervous, ive declined other injections such as flu anf covid but everyones been stresssing to me about getting this one as its important wh c I dont disagree, I just see such mixed opinions about it im not anti vax im pro do what you want but as someone who doesn't normally get vaccines im worried about doing it during preganncy

I got my Whoopi g cough yesterday, I’m not getting the flu or the Covid but the whooping cough one I didn’t mind getting as it does give the baby immunity. My mum said I got whooping cough as a baby and it was brutal so thought it best to get it. Felt fine after, no side effects. I don’t know the science but it gives the baby immunity until they get their two month old shots.. you have to do what you feel
Is best for you and your baby, whichever way you go.. xx

 

[littlepup]

Congratulations!


Does anyone else find that as soon as people find out you're pregnant they LOVE to tell you everything horrific that happened during their pregnancy/birth? Feels like everyone who speaks to me tells me the negative but nobody wants to tell me anything positive. It's making me really anxious

People can be so insensitive. I feel the other way around. I hear lots of what wonderful experience it is, loving every moment, breathing out baby, wanting to do it again. I find if I say “I don’t enjoy pregnancy… but, it’s the journey, not the destination, can’t be helped” the flood gates open and all of a sudden the it’s like ‘well there was this one time’
But remember it is like a journey, tell them you’re doing a long drive and some will say ‘oh it’s a lovely trip, there’s a great cafe on the way’ but most will talk about the traffic and tolls and the time they broke down on the journey from hell.

I read an Instagram post yesterday about going from 1 to 2 - everyone said “I love my second child but…” and “it’s proven maternal happiness reduces with each kid”. Like WTF?!? That’s playing on my mind

I had some really bad pains yesterday, It turned out to all be ok and the good thing is OH was really supportive, cuddled bump, spoke to baby, tried to feel the kicks etc so I’m feeling relief there.

 

[Brewtime87]

Have you had any scans yet? As others have said, it’s not uncommon but you’ll drive yourself crazy wondering and worrying. I find it bonkers that they can expect people to not have any tests/scans/evidence til 10-12 weeks and just accept that. I’m “lucky” that I’m with the EPU due to previous losses so get a scan at 7 weeks, but it shouldn’t take that!

I had a private early one at 7wks, the place nearest to us is £75 though, you do get pictures and videos to take away included in that price but it's still alot of money if this is every time I'm panicking

 

[Jellycat369]

38 weeks today Trying to get stuff done about the house but it's getting increasingly difficult. Belly and back were hurting after I unloaded the washing machine and got everything hung out to dry. Slipped coming down the stairs and pulled something in my back. Went to start bundling up the baby clothes I've been sorting and I slipped on the floor, pulled something in my groin. Urgh. Fortunately OH has been given the nod that he can work from home until after his paternity leave so if I have any more accidents, he'll be about to help

 

[Laughalong]

Just had the 12 week scan. The nub theory is 100% showing a girl like it’s just not up for debate in the pics / my partner said the same when he was looking at the screen. Like I almost feel like this has to be a prank because there’s no way I’m actually getting what I have always wanted. Baso I need to calm down

 

[aggytha]

Omg I didn’t even think of this… my boyfriend is one of three boys. His oldest brother is the only one with kids…. two boys.

I’m off to sulk

I have 3 brothers and my husband has a brother. I was absolutely convinced my first was going to be a boy (I always pictured myself as a boy mum being the eldest girl to 3 boys!) but she was a girl! Keeping her gender a surprise was the best thing we could’ve done, otherwise I think I’d have been overthinking it my entire pregnancy. The excitement in my husbands voice when he revealed she was a girl was really special and it made me realise that this was the way it was meant to be.

Since having her I could not for a second imagine having boys!

Fast forward to now and this time we are having non-identical twins. Since learning we were having two, I’ve imagined having one of each and loved the thought of my daughter having both a brother AND a sister. Turns out they are both very much boys being honest it’s taken me a few days to get over the initial shock. I wouldn’t say I was disappointed, but it can be really tough when you picture something in your head and the reality is different. When we saw twin 1 was a boy we were super happy and just assumed twin 2 would be a girl, then when we saw he was very much a boy I was just absolutely SHOOK.

My husband is not a football fan etc and has embraced being a girl dad so well that I think he’s actually really apprehensive about having boys! Obviously it goes without saying football isn’t gender specific, but it’s hard not to gender stereotype until they arrive and you get to know their little personalities.

I think it’s really important just to acknowledge your feelings and remind yourself that if your baby isn’t the gender you imagined, you wont feel this way forever and they will absolutely light up your world regardless once they are in your arms

 

[Elle Woods]

Just wanted to update you, Thankyou for all your help x 🤍 sending love and positivity to you all x

Congratulations!


Does anyone else find that as soon as people find out you're pregnant they LOVE to tell you everything horrific that happened during their pregnancy/birth? Feels like everyone who speaks to me tells me the negative but nobody wants to tell me anything positive. It's making me really anxious

 

[Brewtime87]

Have to laugh though, the midwife accidentally told me today ill be due mid/towards the end of December instead of September. December! I had a right panic thinking since when were year long pregnancies a thing

 

[LavaFlake]

It doesn’t make you a bad person for saying it at all. I’m having a boy and was the same. I’m very much a girls girl, like all my friends have always been girls and I’ve only grown up with a sister. Apart from boyfriends and lgbt male friends I haven’t had any typical boyish friends or brothers or whatever.

However I knew with my partner the odds of me having a boy were high. He’s one of four boys, most of who have had sons. His Dad and Grandad also only have brothers. And when I saw his 12 week scan I instinctively knew it was a boy from his pelvis and they confirmed this at the 20 week scan.

I was disappointed but also I’d had time to prepare myself as I knew there was a high chance anyway. And I’ve spoken honestly to people who had gender disappointment and they all said it disappeared as the pregnancy went on/baby was born. Which has definitely happened to me like @raspberryjuice Now I just can’t wait to meet him and love him. Two ish weeks to go! If I have another it’s highly likely to be another boy too so definitely won’t be trying in the hope of having a girl lol as we’d be trying for a long time!