Pregnancy #48

[Hotel_breakfast]

Baby breakfast arrived 10 days ago via planned c-section, it went really well and I was home the evening after! I would say I've had more pain than my 3rd degree tear but it's a different type of pain, at least I can sit down ok and not worry every time I go to the toilet it's manageable though and I've been for some very slow walks and have reduced my painkillers now. Good luck to everyone, moving over to the new baby thread now

 

[WordsFromReuben]

Urgh 33 weeks now and not sleeping well at all, the insomnia from the first trimester is back with vengeance and my pelvic pain is adding to having to rotate all night.

Also feeling very lonely at the moment, I ended up in tears last night as I tried to have a serious conversation with my husband about the birth and what options we have and what I need from him during labour and he’s always so jokey about everything, making jokes about how he’s gunna be on the golf course or something and it was funny the first time but I genuinely want to have a serious conversation.
I know for partners, nothing has changed yet and it’s hard for them to understand what we are going through mentally and physically at the moment but I’m so full of worry and anxiety, I feel like it’s all on my shoulders to burden and I just want him at least to give me a hug and say it’s going to be ok we are in this together . It’s a very vulnerable feeling.

 

[justonemorepage]

Well, I was in a restaurant this afternoon and there was a baby shower there. The poor pregnant lady had some awful friends she walked in and one of them immediately commented on how "huge" she looked and another said she was "massive" I felt so sorry for her. They also asked if her baby was measuring big because she was so big etc. It was so uncomfortable to overhear it and the poor lady didn't say anything, just sat there looking gutted. They could have commented on her lovely outfit or anything else but they focused so much on her size. If I were her I would have said "you look a lot bigger since I saw you last too, what's your excuse?"

 

[WeHadFunRight]

Think of buying second hand as doing your bit for the planet! All this stuff we have to buy is only used for a few months and will almost always do at least one more person a good turn. Buying preloved is really savvy, I sell a lot of my stuff for £5 because I just want it out of my house - but the original price is almost always £20 or higher and I may have only used it a couple of times.

another thing I’d recommend is consider buying a car seat that is good from birth through to at least 4. The seat I have now is good until 12 supposedly and it works perfectly for me.

but yes if you’re buying a next to me or Moses basket etc second hand you just need to buy a new mattress and you’re golden.

 

[kayefeluu20]

Had the scan, they're a super wriggly bean! Due date has changed to 04/12, so no due date besties 🥲 but they're a happy healthy baby, now to worry about the combined test results ‍

 

[WeHadFunRight]

I know this won’t be the case for everyone but I stopped weighing myself at about 20 weeks as I couldn’t face it anymore - I just enjoyed the pregnancy. I weighed myself about 2 weeks after the baby arrived and the gain was half a pound. Beating yourself up over your weight during pregnancy just isn’t worth it - deal with it when the baby comes out, don’t add extra pressure to yourself at this time.

 

[Spencerskates]

Thank you all so much for the reassurance, I really needed that, this is why tattle is actually such a lovely place

Had a bit of a cry to my partner last night about my main worries and he really reassured me. I said my main things were that I worried he wouldn’t have that moment of ‘wow, my partner is amazing’ that you’d traditionally have after a long labour/difficult birth, and then also that he’d resent me if I had a tough recovery and couldn’t do much around the house.

After reminding me that he’s always proud anyway, in the nicest possible way he reminded me that I’ve had HG and was bedbound pretty much for the first 16 weeks and we haven’t left the house much in the entire pregnancy, so an extra 6 weeks or so of that isn’t a big deal

 

[Spencerskates]

Caesarean tomorrow, currently rushing around the house cleaning and tidying like a mad woman to try and get everything as perfect as possible for when we get home so I don’t have to worry about it for the first week or so

 

[Wild_she]

Really sorry to hear that you've been having such a hard time with your partner. If I could give any advice on what you have said is to plan things without him, can you have a family member or friend as your birthing partner? It sounds like he has been a abusive towards you, you definitely don't deserve to be called names or sworn at when you are talking about your babys wellbeing.

After baby is here there is a charity called Homestart they are mostly around the UK and they offer practical support when you have a little one. They come and help tidy or hold baby, an extra pair of hands when you might need someone.

Don't get caught up in what he is involved with when owing money to whoever as you don't need that kind of stress with a newborn.

So hard when you have a plan and things change last minute when baby is coming soon!

Thank you for your reply! I’ve still not heard off him, not even a measly text to ask how me and baby are. I’ve decided that I’ll have baby on my own with just mum there now and she’ll be taking my last name. He’s definitely emotionally abusive. He says things like good luck finding someone with three kids, you’ll be skint with three and I’ll just have one to pay for and tells me things like I have nothing going for me where as he does because he’s self employed and earns so much a day etc (even though this work isn’t every day or that often!)

I’ve heard of them, I guess it’s something to keep in mind for once she’s here! My family will be keen to steal her though I’m sure!

i think I’m so caught up in it because I can’t see life changing and I feel like the financial pressure is on me quite a bit as I have to make sure food is in for the kids and bills are paid where as his only concern is his weed payments and I can’t see that changing as he clearly has no intention of stopping!

I go in a week today for my induction, so I’m getting nervous now! I just don’t know where the time has gone!

 

[hollymoox]

Just a fyi for anyone who perhaps doesn’t know (as I didn’t until a few months ago), any mattress used should be brand new (not even shared between siblings) and car seats ideally should be brand new unless you are fully aware of the history of it. And of course bottles should also be brand new! But apart from that I’m sure everything else is okay second hand, unless I’ve missed something then let me know! x

 

[Spencerskates]

Ended up going in this evening as I still wasn’t happy with baby’s movements. Was hooked up to the monitor which picked up some pretty strong braxton hicks and baby’s heart rate steady. Still wasn’t feeling him while on the monitor.
Got booked in for another appointment in a week and then another growth scan in two weeks just before my section.
Felt him move a few times since, just really struggling with anxiety.
My brain is constantly telling me that something is wrong or that I haven’t felt him move because he’s died and it’s my fault that I haven’t been able to keep him safe and I’m just struggling to carry the weight of that worry all of the time.

 

[justonemorepage]

Bit of a rant so feel free to scroll past.

We told our closest family and friends recently and now they are taking it upon themselves to tell other people, people who I don't even know. I'm so upset because I just wanted to tell my close circle and I didn't want everyone bloody knowing. I feel like it's my business who I want to share my news with and no one else's

 

[fudgebox]

So I rang the hospital up yesterday to see about my 12 week scan as hadn’t received a letter, they couldn’t get hold of the scan department so gave me their number to try today. Rang this morning they said they hadn’t even had a referral about me to have a scan!! so booked me in for next Thursday luckily it’s early in the morning before my first client so don’t have to cancel anyone! I burst out crying after the call like why do I keep getting forgotten about?? It was the same when I rang at 6 weeks didn’t hear anything for 2 weeks so rang them and they hadn’t had anyone tell them I was waiting for a call back!! Honestly so useless I don’t think I want to have the baby at that hospital if they can’t even get the booking in right!

 

[TheSilverFox]

Random public service announcement for anyone else getting uncomfortable in the heat - my legs are getting very swollen (right the way up my legs ) so dresses and skirts etc haven't been particularly comfortable. I got some of the Primark seamfree cycling shorts (£4) yesterday in a big size and they are AMAZING! they are so stretchy I have pulled them right over the top of my bump and they are staying up under a dress, give a bit of bump support and are stopping any chub rub I got them in cream and going back for a black pair tomorrow, best £4 I've spent all week lol

 

[WordsFromReuben]

36 weeks pregnant and very hot and swollen. Also I’m at the stage where everyone who sees me insists on saying “oh your so big now” yeah no shit Sherlock, there’s a whole baby in there!

 

[emisixo]

Would like honest opinions on whether I’m being a bit ridiculous about my family situation…

I seem to have found myself reacting weirdly to both my Dad and mother in law’s comments. I’m not sure if it’s my instinct kicking in to protect or whether they’re just strange

Ever since we announced the twin pregnancy my MIL has been naturally, beyond excited. 12 hours after telling her the news she went shopping and ended up filling 3 suitcases worth of baby clothes, getting a bath and some other equipment for us. I’m very grateful for everything but we both told her in a nice way to calm down because a) we don’t want her spending too much of her own money and b) it would be nice to get our own stuff as well.
She then went and told me she’s been testing out prams “for herself” so she can take them on the train somewhere when we need a break. I realise this is what grandparents do but in that moment I felt like screaming “no way!” at her. She’s also made jokes about not ‘sharing’ them with other members of the family. I might be being unfair but also a few years ago she had problems with her eyesight and said she was nearly blind, quitting work and has claimed benefits for quite a while, yet can read stuff and get public transport to our house 40 mins away from where she lives. She could see the scan pics quite clearly too. I might be way out of line commenting on her ability to look after small babies by herself due to her disability but it all just doesn’t sit right with me! She’s also offered to give us £500 towards a pram which I’m very grateful for but told her we need to think about it, it’s all quite overwhelming.

My dad on the other hand has been excited but hasn’t bought anything for them. He has made comments that he nearly bought some clothes the other day but wasn’t quite sure what we’d like. My mum died when I was 18 (20 years ago) and I’ve silently been quite sad at points that she’s not here to celebrate. I’ve never missed her as much as I do now. My dad has a new wife who I haven’t had the best relationship with. She’s 3 years older than me and quite childish and controlling, which other family members agree with. My dad and her had 2 dogs and she used to scream at them constantly. I have reservations about them babysitting and feel like I’m going to have to set some strong boundaries. My dad said she’ll be ‘chief babysitter’ which made me a bit worried. There’s just no trust there. He also asked if they could be there at the birth which I was horrified to hear! All quite strange and I wonder if it’s because they couldn’t have children so he’s trying to show her through me what it might be like.

I am very aware I might be overreacting about everything, it’s my hormones etc and other people have much worse parental / in law situations.

 

[Cjh78]

Anybody else essentially doing this alone? I have never been so jealous of women with loving partners in my life.
Baby was definitely an oops (but now very much wanted!) and dad does want involvement and will support BUT i am living alone, and working full time.
feel like I am drowning in it most of the time, I'm so exhausted and emotional!

I was single Mum from the start with my 6 year old. I focused on the two of us and had great support from family and friends. She is my proudest achievement and although there’s been plenty of tough times, I genuinely feel lucky to have done it solo.
I never thought I’d have another baby or meet anyone else, and then 3 years ago I met my partner, our families blended and we are expecting a baby together in September. You really never know what the future holds

 

[DarthMiepies]

Do more people experience this: when people at work found out I was pregnant (very bad morning sickness and all day fatigue) they started commenting about how tired or sick I Look.
I’m quite fed up with it, I already feel rubbish. can’t fit in my normal clothes but also don’t have a belly yet, so I don’t feel like myself at all. Having colleagues telling me I look sick/tired/ bad makes my confidence go down hard!

 

[Bobbleowl90]

Been losing my mucous plug for about 5 days and today it’s bloody. Got some period pains too. Waiting game now!!

 

[justonemorepage]

I felt my first flutters today

Does anyone have any books/reading recommendations? I'm feeling like I'm very unprepared and almost at the halfway mark