Pregnancy #46

[WeHadFunRight]

New thread

Welcome anyone new - this thread is for guidance and support for those who find themselves pregnant - there’s not much else to it.

on that basis please try and keep posts and responses in the spirit of the thread, this is really meant to be a safe and non judgmental space for what is a vulnerable time.

Please remember we have no way of verifying who anyone is (e.g. if someone claimed to be a midwife or a doctor) on the forum and most responses are based on the poster’s own experience - so personal judgement should be applied when reading. If your question is around something medical you should speak to your MW/Doctor about it as they will be able to advise you best based on their professional assessment of your situation.


we have a wiki (I will try and get it linked again) which has some useful info that gets covered in some threads and we try and capture it there - hospital bag contents/workplace rights in pregnancy/ insurance BUT it doesn’t stop you asking questions here, that’s what the threads are for.

 

[Ro98]

Thank you for those replies about BF / pumping from the last thread! Haven’t checked out some of those resources so will do that now, and didn’t even think there would be local groups to help (not sure why it never occurred to me!) so will try & seek some out. Thank you!!

 

[WeepingCassandra]

Interesting that the BF/pumping questions came up - I’m quite keen to combi feed as I think my OH would love the opportunity to bond with baby as well as giving me a little more freedom. I’m pretty confident that it’s worth at least trying as I know several people who’ve done it and not had any problems but at our NCT breast feeding class the lady was very staunchly against it, said outright that it doesn’t work and you’ll confuse the baby. I’m not quite sure how you confuse something that’s naturally made to drink from a teat but there you go!

 

[Spencerskates]

Really controversial question so please don’t all jump on me, but is anyone else planning to exclusively formula feed? Everyone else I’ve spoken to at least tries to breastfeed and I don’t know how to bring it up with my midwife that I don’t think that’s the best choice for our family.

 

[WeHadFunRight]

Interesting that the BF/pumping questions came up - I’m quite keen to combi feed as I think my OH would love the opportunity to bond with baby as well as giving me a little more freedom. I’m pretty confident that it’s worth at least trying as I know several people who’ve done it and not had any problems but at our NCT breast feeding class the lady was very staunchly against it, said outright that it doesn’t work and you’ll confuse the baby. I’m not quite sure how you confuse something that’s naturally made to drink from a teat but there you go!

That’s NCT for you combi feeding saved my sanity.

 

[Very traditional]

Really controversial question so please don’t all jump on me, but is anyone else planning to exclusively formula feed? Everyone else I’ve spoken to at least tries to breastfeed and I don’t know how to bring it up with my midwife that I don’t think that’s the best choice for our family.

I’m planning on trying to combi feed but please don’t be worried about exclusively formula feeding if that’s what will work for you. At my antenatal classes a couple of the girls were planning on exclusively using formula and you could tell they were worried about being judged but the midwife was lovely and super helpful and gave them lots of advice and info.

 

[WeHadFunRight]

Really controversial question so please don’t all jump on me, but is anyone else planning to exclusively formula feed? Everyone else I’ve spoken to at least tries to breastfeed and I don’t know how to bring it up with my midwife that I don’t think that’s the best choice for our family.

It’s not controversial don’t worry, the NHS has a specific policy to get as many women BFing as possible so now formula feeding feels taboo but if your preference is to FF do what’s best for you and your baby. Most people do try BFing initially but IMO/IME that’s due to the amount of pressure put on women by MWs etc.

 

[I’mThankyou_]

Really controversial question so please don’t all jump on me, but is anyone else planning to exclusively formula feed? Everyone else I’ve spoken to at least tries to breastfeed and I don’t know how to bring it up with my midwife that I don’t think that’s the best choice for our family.

I exclusively formula fed my eldest as it worked best for us at the time. I only ever had one negative comment and that was from family. My midwife never made any comment on my choice of feeding.

 

[TheSilverFox]

Interesting that the BF/pumping questions came up - I’m quite keen to combi feed as I think my OH would love the opportunity to bond with baby as well as giving me a little more freedom. I’m pretty confident that it’s worth at least trying as I know several people who’ve done it and not had any problems but at our NCT breast feeding class the lady was very staunchly against it, said outright that it doesn’t work and you’ll confuse the baby. I’m not quite sure how you confuse something that’s naturally made to drink from a teat but there you go!

From my experience, you will very quickly get to know how it's all working for you and your baby and find your own path. Advice from NCT people, midwives etc are all well and good, but at the end of the day you are mum and you'll know your baby better than anyone else I think the confusion is something about it being harder work for the baby to breastfeed compared to bottle feed so they can develop a preference for what's easier... that might be wrong though, I can't quite remember Plenty of people successfully combi feed. The only thing i would say that I personally found those first 6 weeks of breastfeeding the hardest by an absolute country mile... once I'd gotten through those and came out the other side things got so much easier. I have a feeling those first 6 weeks is when your body establishes its supply as well so if you're combi feeding then that can interfere with how much your body produces? Although if you are planning on combi feeding from the outset, that doesn't matter too much does it?! I hate how judgemental and dogmatic healthcare professionals can be around feeding your baby, it's hard enough x
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Really controversial question so please don’t all jump on me, but is anyone else planning to exclusively formula feed? Everyone else I’ve spoken to at least tries to breastfeed and I don’t know how to bring it up with my midwife that I don’t think that’s the best choice for our family.

I hope your midwife just supports you. A fed baby is a happy baby x

 

[FatherJackHackett]

Really controversial question so please don’t all jump on me, but is anyone else planning to exclusively formula feed? Everyone else I’ve spoken to at least tries to breastfeed and I don’t know how to bring it up with my midwife that I don’t think that’s the best choice for our family.

Not controversial at all, you do right to ask. I intend to give first feed as breast feeding and then formula from there on in. I BF my first and while it was great I think formula fed is what will work best for our family now. You will know what's right for you and your family and don't let anyone put you off x

 

[Chewycinema]

Really controversial question so please don’t all jump on me, but is anyone else planning to exclusively formula feed? Everyone else I’ve spoken to at least tries to breastfeed and I don’t know how to bring it up with my midwife that I don’t think that’s the best choice for our family.

I've found a lot of midwives don't actually care. Like obviously it's recommended to encourage breastfeeding but in my experience from my first they were definitely fed is best. I've not decided how I'm going to feed yet but did end up formula feeding my first after a (very short) attempt at bf and my current midwife said to me I don't really care how you feed I'm not going to encourage you either way

 

[calmyourritas]

Really controversial question so please don’t all jump on me, but is anyone else planning to exclusively formula feed? Everyone else I’ve spoken to at least tries to breastfeed and I don’t know how to bring it up with my midwife that I don’t think that’s the best choice for our family.

I have formula fed the whole time. Always said I would try breastfeeding but I was never that set on it and a few things combined in the first few days meant I never did. I don’t regret it at all!

 

[fairylights2000]

Really controversial question so please don’t all jump on me, but is anyone else planning to exclusively formula feed? Everyone else I’ve spoken to at least tries to breastfeed and I don’t know how to bring it up with my midwife that I don’t think that’s the best choice for our family.

Just to add to what others have said - I am formula feeding my son (had hoped to BF) but we didn't feel judged by midwives in hospital or once we were discharged - they just wanted to know how he's being fed and how much is he getting, do we know how to do the bottles properly etc. Good luck hope you get some good support.

 

[WeHadFunRight]

Tbh I am quite close to FF exclusively this time round instead as I have breastfed for 4 years and my daughter will not stop touching my boobs still. If she has a cup of milk she puts her hand in my bra. With this pregnancy it’s made me miserable as I have developed a major aversion to my boobs being touched and it became so painful when she tried to get any milk. The whole thing now makes me tense up. I’ve harvested some colostrum already so we’ll just have to see.

 

[sazzles88]

Interesting that the BF/pumping questions came up - I’m quite keen to combi feed as I think my OH would love the opportunity to bond with baby as well as giving me a little more freedom. I’m pretty confident that it’s worth at least trying as I know several people who’ve done it and not had any problems but at our NCT breast feeding class the lady was very staunchly against it, said outright that it doesn’t work and you’ll confuse the baby. I’m not quite sure how you confuse something that’s naturally made to drink from a teat but there you go!

Our NCT breastfeeding lady was like this as well, but I think it's ridiculous. I was planning of breastfeeding exclusively but ended up with a low supply and so combi feed. Outside of NCT the health visitors and midwives didn't really mind either way and my baby didn't seemed to be confused or stop latching despite having a few different shaped teats and boob.

I will be planning to combine feed this time as I think my husband loved being able to do some of the feeding. I'll get more advice this time about how to do it from a few weeks in depending on supply again.

Definitely will try not to fall into the mindset that I must breastfeed, but it's hard, there is a lot of push around it.

 

[WotsitG1]

Really controversial question so please don’t all jump on me, but is anyone else planning to exclusively formula feed? Everyone else I’ve spoken to at least tries to breastfeed and I don’t know how to bring it up with my midwife that I don’t think that’s the best choice for our family.

At this point I plan to Formula feed from the start. I am hoping to do some colostrum harvesting before baby arrives. Iv been worried I’ll face judgement by midwife/at hospital

 

[themuffinwoman]

Can I just say it’s so nice to see so many people talking about combi feeding. We plan on doing this too and have heard from friends they were really discouraged from doing so.

This may sound like a stupid question but do you mix the breast milk with the formula or just do them individually? I plan on pumping mostly and feeding her from the bottle (assuming I’m producing enough milk).

 

[I’mThankyou_]

Can I just say it’s so nice to see so many people talking about combi feeding. We plan on doing this too and have heard from friends they were really discouraged from doing so.

This may sound like a stupid question but do you mix the breast milk with the formula or just do them individually? I plan on pumping mostly and feeding her from the bottle (assuming I’m producing enough milk).

You can mix BM& formula together. Just ensure they're both at the same temperature

 

[xoxo GG]

At this point I plan to Formula feed from the start. I am hoping to do some colostrum harvesting before baby arrives. Iv been worried I’ll face judgement by midwife/at hospital

BabyGG has been formula fed from the start with a little colostrum that I managed to harvest, which we used for his first few feeds when we came home. I was so unsure on whether I wanted to breastfeed this time because to be completely honest I hated every single second with my 3yo, I had such an aversion to it. This time round the midwife asked me whether I wanted to breast or bottle and I just said bottle and honestly? She couldn’t have cared less. It’s not the midwife who is going to feed your baby, who gives a tit what they think x

 

[calmyourritas]

At this point I plan to Formula feed from the start. I am hoping to do some colostrum harvesting before baby arrives. Iv been worried I’ll face judgement by midwife/at hospital

I wrote a whole message but don’t think it made any sense I’ve had too much wine. But no one has ever judged or questioned me for ff. I never managed to harvest any colostrum. Do what is best for you x