Pregnancy #4

[Chickenandgravy]

I’m not a specialist in obstetrics but am a medic and I wouldn’t be worried at all about a resting HR changing by 4 bpm. I wouldn’t even notice that as being remarkable or significant in any way at all if I saw that on a patients obs chart - hopefully that reassures you!!

I found in the gap between 12 and 20 week scans I didn’t feel pregnant. My morning sickness cleared up and I felt pretty great, which made me uneasy (also had a previous loss at 7 weeks). Once i had the 20 week scan, started to feel movements and started to get a bump things gradually felt more real.

Thank you, that does actually reassure me. I think your right even though I still have symptoms they are definitely not as bad so that's probably a factor in the worrying. Never thought I'd be back to wanting to be feeling so sick but here we are . I've got my 20 week scan two weeks today but can't come fast enough!!
After a loss aswell I'm just so much more paranoid, I would love to just enjoy this pregnancy instead of over analysing everything!

I think this is totally normal, second trimester is usually that point of pregnancy where you feel back to normal after things like sickness and exhaustion. I’m 30 weeks and honestly don’t feel pregnant unless my baby is kicking me and rolling around, which isn’t constantly. I didn’t really know the pattern of movements until 26 weeks as they were all over the place, some days were so quiet and then a few days of constant kicks. If you have any concerns with movement give you midwife a call though for extra reassurance

Thank you aswell, it's a bit more reassuring knowing I'm not the only one that doesn't always feel pregnant. Everything I've read said the baby won't have a pattern this early anyway, just me being silly!

 

[Definitelyme]

Right I need someone to talk me down

I'm 18+5 and I just don't feel pregnant. I thought I could feel her move last week but I've not had much this week. On top of that my RHR on fit bit has dropped slightly, it was sitting up at 77 and gone down to 74 the last 3 days. Which I know isn't massive but when I had a loss ( albeit much earlier....like 5 weeks) my RHR was the first thing I noticed dropping before it happened.

Am I just being stupid? I still have symptoms sore head/sickness/sore nipples.

I'm probably just majorly over reacting but I'm just so worried somethings gone wrong. On top of that I don't have a designated midwife (as mine left) yet so I don't don't know who to call/what would I even say?!

You aren’t being stupid. It’s absolutely normal to worry yourself sick, and it’s not stupid at all. It’s a hard time before you feel a lot of movement, but hopefully you will feel more soon and have your 20 weeks scan coming up to reassure you

 

[Ilando]

Made me laugh being on the phone to GP receptionist today.
Asked about my 16 week appointment (I was told previously that this would be a phone appointment which was fine with me). I asked if I could book it and was surprised to be told that they are restarting face to face appointments but it was my choice to have a phone appointment or in person.

I asked what the appointment involves and unsurprisingly it involves BP checks, urine check and listening to the heartbeat- all of which I imagine would be quite difficult to achieve if I’m sat in my lounge 3 miles from the midwife. Don’t know why it tickled me but it did

 

[Definitelyme]

Made me laugh being on the phone to GP receptionist today.
Asked about my 16 week appointment (I was told previously that this would be a phone appointment which was fine with me). I asked if I could book it and was surprised to be told that they are restarting face to face appointments but it was my choice to have a phone appointment or in person.

I asked what the appointment involves and unsurprisingly it involves BP checks, urine check and listening to the heartbeat- all of which I imagine would be quite difficult to achieve if I’m sat in my lounge 3 miles from the midwife. Don’t know why it tickled me but it did

I honestly don’t know how they can justify phone appointments with the midwife. Like you say, the basic bits they do which are vital for health checks really need you to be right there! Luckily all my appointments have been in person

 

[Bwacac]

Right I need someone to talk me down

I'm 18+5 and I just don't feel pregnant. I thought I could feel her move last week but I've not had much this week. On top of that my RHR on fit bit has dropped slightly, it was sitting up at 77 and gone down to 74 the last 3 days. Which I know isn't massive but when I had a loss ( albeit much earlier....like 5 weeks) my RHR was the first thing I noticed dropping before it happened.

Am I just being stupid? I still have symptoms sore head/sickness/sore nipples.

I'm probably just majorly over reacting but I'm just so worried somethings gone wrong. On top of that I don't have a designated midwife (as mine left) yet so I don't don't know who to call/what would I even say?!

I’ll attach my Fitbit RHR chart from when I was roughly 15/16 weeks in November. You can see it dropped quite a lot and I was like you and totally lost the plot. Started Googling it convinced something was going wrong. I then read that as you are entering the 2nd trimester your heart gets used to all the extra work your body has to do in pregnancy so therefore doesn’t halve to work so hard to pump the blood etc. It then rises again in the 3rd trimester. I’m currently almost 28 weeks and will attach that to to show you that it’s climbed right back up. Please try not to worry. If you find yourself stressing too much then I’d take your Fitbit off for your own sanity. Take care x

 

[Chickenandgravy]

You aren’t being stupid. It’s absolutely normal to worry yourself sick, and it’s not stupid at all. It’s a hard time before you feel a lot of movement, but hopefully you will feel more soon and have your 20 weeks scan coming up to reassure you

Thank you I know...this time in two weeks I'll be wondering what I was worried about probably!

I’ll attach my Fitbit RHR chart from when I was roughly 15/16 weeks in November. You can see it dropped quite a lot and I was like you and totally lost the plot. Started Googling it convinced something was going wrong. I then read that as you are entering the 2nd trimester your heart gets used to all the extra work your body has to do in pregnancy so therefore doesn’t halve to work so hard to pump the blood etc. It then rises again in the 3rd trimester. I’m currently almost 28 weeks and will attach that to to show you that it’s climbed right back up. Please try not to worry. If you find yourself stressing too much then I’d take your Fitbit off for your own sanity. Take care x

Thank you so much for this, very reassuring. I think you're right I'll take it off for the time being and try to not stress x

 

[Tui]

If my midwife appointments were over the telephone there would literally be no point. All they care about is urine, BP and ask me about movements. I'm 37 weeks on Friday and they haven't discussed labour/birth with me yet, never mind feeding and postnatal care. Their consultation style is dire.

 

[Definitelyme]

If my midwife appointments were over the telephone there would literally be no point. All they care about is urine, BP and ask me about movements. I'm 37 weeks on Friday and they haven't discussed labour/birth with me yet, never mind feeding and postnatal care. Their consultation style is dire.

I have never once had anyone discuss labour and birth or anything like that with me, over 4 pregnancies. No chat at all about it.

 

[orange club biscuit]

I have never once had anyone discuss labour and birth or anything like that with me, over 4 pregnancies. No chat at all about it.

Silly question but are they supposed to...? Like I’d expect them to...?!

I also don’t feel pregnant on a day to day basis. I don’t really have any of the typical symptoms any more! Except this evening I have cried three times, once because I shut my finger in a draw

 

[Definitelyme]

Silly question but are they supposed to...? Like I’d expect them to...?!

I genuinely don’t know if they are supposed to - but I should imagine so?! I have seen a LOT of midwives over the last 8 years, rarely see the same one twice, and never any mention of birth plans, or what to expect during/after birth. Never any discussion of pain relief etc. I don’t know if maybe that’s expected to be covered at antenatal classes though? I’ve never done any.

 

[StrawberryCream]

I’m so surprised that some of you haven’t ever had birth discussion with midwives and I think that’s so bad doing everything over the phone! They must have different rules for different parts of the UK. Iv been going to all my midwife appointments at my medical practice, she takes a urine sample, does blood pressure and listen to baby’s hb on a doppler. Iv got my 32 week appointment next and been told to make a birth plan and bring it to the appointment. My last pregnancy we went into the hospital for a tour of the labour ward 2 weeks before I was induced, not sure they would be doing this now because of covid restrictions though

 

[Kitt]

Silly question but are they supposed to...? Like I’d expect them to...?!

I also don’t feel pregnant on a day to day basis. I don’t really have any of the typical symptoms any more! Except this evening I have cried three times, once because I shut my finger in a draw

I’m also very emotional lol I just burst into tears for no reason on Sunday (it’s cause there was children on the tele.) Are you starting to see changes in your tummy at all? I think somethings starting to happen for me.

 

[Tui]

I have never once had anyone discuss labour and birth or anything like that with me, over 4 pregnancies. No chat at all about it.

I just think it’s piss poor. They wonder why so many women have negative birth experiences yet many will be totally unprepared for labour and birth and what to expect because some midwives do duck all to help them. I paid for NCT classes but they were a couple of hundred quid, due to COVID (and presumably a lack of resources/desire to provide anything virtually) there is no free NHS equivalent in Greater Manchester right now that I am aware of and I’ve been looked after by two different community midwifery teams due to moving house. I’ve bought numerous books and paid for the PBC digital pack. I’m fortunate to have the money for all of these things but not every mum does and it makes me so bleeping mad that some midwives seem to put zero effort in. I feel so let down as I try really hard to help patients understand and feel in control and that they have choices and yet none of that courtesy is being extended to me now I need it.

 

[Lollipop19]

Right I need someone to talk me down

I'm 18+5 and I just don't feel pregnant. I thought I could feel her move last week but I've not had much this week. On top of that my RHR on fit bit has dropped slightly, it was sitting up at 77 and gone down to 74 the last 3 days. Which I know isn't massive but when I had a loss ( albeit much earlier....like 5 weeks) my RHR was the first thing I noticed dropping before it happened.

Am I just being stupid? I still have symptoms sore head/sickness/sore nipples.

I'm probably just majorly over reacting but I'm just so worried somethings gone wrong. On top of that I don't have a designated midwife (as mine left) yet so I don't don't know who to call/what would I even say?!

I'm 18 + 2 and felt the same last week. My nausea and tiredness have definitely improved and I felt pleased but then suddenly panicked that something bad had happened! I was literally playing with my boobs to see if they still hurt or not Luckily I had the midwife appt on the Friday and heard the heartbeat so was reassured and feel better as I've continued to feel better and more sprites. I haven't really felt baby at all and I read it can take quite a while for some, especially if its your first baby. Somensaid even up to 25 weeks before you feel anything. If you're totally worried, then how about booking a private scan? We had one at 8 weeks for some reassurance and it was fab. Well worth the cost which was about £60 in our area x

 

[Easilyannoyed]

Actually very concerning about the lack of discussion of birth plans pain relief etc my friend said she has a great midwife and birth plan she was high risk so she had loads of scans etc I live around 100+ miles from her end I recon my care will differ. I felt my scan was eally rushed on Friday my doctors are really not the best & trying to get a midwife appointment I think hasn’t been without it’s challenges genuinely didn’t expect it to be like this If I’m being honest x

 

[moimoi]

I brought up my birth plan at my 28 week appointment last week as have no idea what it is but heard they’re a thing, the midwife just said ‘that’s something to look at later.’ Didn’t fill me with a load confidence.

 

[Definitelyme]

There is a section in my green folder of notes about birth plan, which others may have in their notes. Not that I believe anyone has ever looked at mine when I’ve been in labour!
For anyone who is unsure what a birth plan should include, I’m attaching some info from the positive birth book. It’s a visual guide to birth plan choices. I’ll attach the link as well but not sure it will work as it’s from a Facebook group.

Facebook

lookaside.fbsbx.com

 

[Rlaw1978]

Congratulations!
He looks a good size for 5 weeks early too! Although could be the photo haha.

Glad everything is going well

We’ve named him Edward , after my husbands Dad & Grandad. He was 7lb 3, which is a brilliant size considering age. But all my previous babies have been large, my 3rd was 10lb born at 40 weeks. So I can only imagine how big he would have been if born at full term.
I never got the the point to discuss birth plans, in my county the midwife has a birth plan discussion at 36 weeks with you. You can make your wishes known before hand and bring it up at any time though.

 

[Icbaaaa]

It's crazy how different the appointments are depending where you stay!
I'm 30w and had 3 appointments face to face with my midwife (8wks, 22wks and 28wks).
My last pregnancy I was asked what kinda birth I wanted and told them I'd like to try a water birth and remained hopeful as she said that's fine. Little did I know that because my waters went then induced 24 hours later, I wasn't eligible for a water birth anymore which I was annoyed about because no one told me (just in case anyone is fancying the same so be prepared lol!)
This time around I'm having an elective section and asked my midwife some questions at my last appointment and she didn't have a clue!! I mentioned how I have a scan at 32 weeks to see where the placenta is lying and I'm consultant led and have an appointment after my scan to discuss vbac/section and she honestly stared at me as if I had 2 heads no joke.....

 

[StrawberryCream]

I may be different being in Scotland but I don’t have any paper notes and never have with this pregnancy. Everything is on the app now, all my appointments and I have an antenatal, birth and postnatal section where I put all my questions, I also have a birth plan with lots of sections on it Iv to fill in about feeding, vitamin K injection, skin to skin, monitoring baby during labour etc, does anyone else have this ?