Getting someone to wash your car is the kind of thing poppy only has time for on a day off 
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Crying at her taking a week holiday
I’m about to get a week off too - after nine weeks of teaching teenagers!
I’m about to get a week off too - after nine weeks of teaching teenagers!
I've got a whole year off... To look after my babyCrying at her taking a week holiday
I’m about to get a week off too - after nine weeks of teaching teenagers!
I hate this “all the” trend she insists on keeping in her content.Getting someone to wash your car is the kind of thing poppy only has time for on a day off
View attachment 51399
All the things
All the bullshit
All the SHUT UP
Omg Poppy is cracking me up. She has less going on then Zoe and Alfie and they do f all, all day every day. Even people who are actually busy have time to have their car cleaned.
Right? Her implying she will now *finally* have time for face masks and other basic blogger crap that constitutes her actual work - but that she still barely even manages to do - is too funny. I know it’s already been said but it’s just perfect. Like an actual parody of a millennial blogger.
What’s funny is ... she does all this shite like skincare recommendations, make up or shopping hauls and OOTD bollocks for her blog or IGTV so who’s she kidding with “finally” having time for face masks?
Get over yourself you lazy lump of lard.
Did Poppy’s much needed ‘assistant’ write this? Sean? Inspiring and incredible are not adjectives I would use for Poppy. Ever.
Incredibly lazy, shallow and UN-inspiring perhaps...
I sometimes do wonder if poppy is a parody.
She's barely a blogger, the most blogging she does is making some basic recipe once every two months. Taking a few snaps from different angles once it's done (no prep shot or "action" shots) then dumping it on her site with two or three sentences that sound like an illiterate ten year old. Then she acts as if she's working hard spitting out affiliate links to earn her commission.
She's everything daily mail readers think bloggers are.
This is the girl that had an episode because she hadn't been doing a face mask every night and claimed to be overworked. She just drives from free lunch, to free nail job to free hair cut. The odd time she sits Infront of a laptop for half an hour I think she genuinely thinks she's got the most stressful and intense job in the world.
I agree it is very difficult to believe she is living in the same world we are. The icing on the cake is that the girl you just described somehow managed to buy a 2/3 bedroom Victorian town house in good condition, which she then had work done to, in notoriously expensive Brighton, after just a few years of pretending to have a job. I wonder how much help they had. Poppy even earning enough to buy a toaster from her blog is completely baffling.
Gleam are very good at charging brands alot and her followers that were easily acquired means a six figure income for poppy with a workload thats less than a one morning a week lollipop lady.
Look at this post on hosting a cheeseboard. Even when she tries her most hardest all she does is write something totally meaningless lacking any substance. Poppy says go to a cheese shop, handy tips like don't forget to store it appropriately, then put it on a plate with crackers and fruit.
She lists the most basic obvious things and then says "I can go on" and "you know the drill". duck sake Poppy why not go into detail that's what you'd expect, we all know the basics of grapes and crackers with cheese. I'm increasingly convinced she is a parody.
HOW TO HOST – THE PERFECT CHEESE BOARD.
Last year we decided to host our first cheese & wine evening. We had all our pals come over for an eve of trying all the cheese whilst getting pissed enough that we decided to re decorate the Christmas tree at three in the morning… It was fabulousssss.
Let’s just say it’s started a bit of a tradition and as we get ready to go away for the weekend to do another #DIY tasting, I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to shout out a couple of tips I found helpful when trying to create the #perfect evening of cheese dreamzzz.
The great thing about cheese boards is that they can literally consist of a slice of Tesco’s brie and some grapes with a mate or become a full-on evening of cheese trying heaven alongside all the snazzy extras such as quince, crackers and truffle honey. It really is up to you how crazy you wanna go.
In this post though, I’m gonna chat you through my ideal cheese set up, so don’t feel like you have to go as OTT as this, it’s more just to show the basics alongside a couple of tips & tricks.
HAVE A PLAN.
Okay, I get it. It sounds crazy but if you’re gonna go “all out” you gotta start by hashing out a cheese plan… I usually have an idea of what types of cheese I wanna go for, whether it’s a little or a lot, thinking ahead means less time spent staring at the counter aimlessly when adventuring out to buy everything and more time to try all the tasters. Think soft, hard, blue, brined, goats, cheddar. Okay, as you can probs tell I’m no expert, but really it’s all about getting a real mixture to try. I mean, no-one wants a whole board of blue so mix things up, try something new!
KNOW WHERE TO SHOP.
As we’re serious cheese lovers we usually head to our local cheese shop if planning a big ol’ cheese feast. We love how much time and detail they put into talking us through creating the perfect cheese board and I would 100% recommend doing the same if you’re after something a ‘lil bit special, butttt that being said, once you know your stuff it’s much easier to know what you’re after in the supermarket aisles too. It just takes a ‘lil research and knowing how much ££ you wanna spend and then voila, cheese4lyf.
PLAN YOUR EXTRAS.
My fave part. The extras. The grapes, the crackers, the bread, the figs, ohhhh the list could go on & on… but firstly you should know how far you wanna go when buying all the extras as they easily add up! If it’s only a couple of friends, maybe some crackers and grapes will do? But if it’s a big old wine and cheese tasting night then maybe you might wanna try a little more. Add a couple of figs, some fancy fresh baguettes, you know the drill. Just make sure you have a mini plan of what it is you’re after before heading to the shops as we all know how un-listed supermarket visits can end up… #buysitall.
STORING YOUR CHEESE.
Okay, this sounds super simple right? But different cheeses will need to be stored in different places. Some are best in the fridge and others are definitely not, especially if you go for a stonky melty kind such as a stilton. They’re gonna smell, probably a lot… So I usually shop or pick mine up the night before the parytayyy, hence all the prep beforehand. To ensure taste factor is at 100% make sure you know how each cheese should be stored before the big night.
CREATING YOUR MASTERPIECE.
Alright alright, masterpiece might be a little over the top but seriously, have some fun! Putting together your cheese platter that dreamzzz are made of is the best bit! Throw ya grapes around, place that cheese elegantly on ya Homesense marble board and enjoy making it looks fancy AF.
Look at this post on hosting a cheeseboard. Even when she tries her most hardest all she does is write something totally meaningless lacking any substance. Poppy says go to a cheese shop, handy tips like don't forget to store it appropriately, then put it on a plate with crackers and fruit.
She lists the most basic obvious things and then says "I can go on" and "you know the drill". duck sake Poppy why not go into detail that's what you'd expect, we all know the basics of grapes and crackers with cheese. I'm increasingly convinced she is a parody.
HOW TO HOST – THE PERFECT CHEESE BOARD.
Last year we decided to host our first cheese & wine evening. We had all our pals come over for an eve of trying all the cheese whilst getting pissed enough that we decided to re decorate the Christmas tree at three in the morning… It was fabulousssss.
Let’s just say it’s started a bit of a tradition and as we get ready to go away for the weekend to do another #DIY tasting, I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to shout out a couple of tips I found helpful when trying to create the #perfect evening of cheese dreamzzz.
The great thing about cheese boards is that they can literally consist of a slice of Tesco’s brie and some grapes with a mate or become a full-on evening of cheese trying heaven alongside all the snazzy extras such as quince, crackers and truffle honey. It really is up to you how crazy you wanna go.
In this post though, I’m gonna chat you through my ideal cheese set up, so don’t feel like you have to go as OTT as this, it’s more just to show the basics alongside a couple of tips & tricks.
HAVE A PLAN.
Okay, I get it. It sounds crazy but if you’re gonna go “all out” you gotta start by hashing out a cheese plan… I usually have an idea of what types of cheese I wanna go for, whether it’s a little or a lot, thinking ahead means less time spent staring at the counter aimlessly when adventuring out to buy everything and more time to try all the tasters. Think soft, hard, blue, brined, goats, cheddar. Okay, as you can probs tell I’m no expert, but really it’s all about getting a real mixture to try. I mean, no-one wants a whole board of blue so mix things up, try something new!
KNOW WHERE TO SHOP.
As we’re serious cheese lovers we usually head to our local cheese shop if planning a big ol’ cheese feast. We love how much time and detail they put into talking us through creating the perfect cheese board and I would 100% recommend doing the same if you’re after something a ‘lil bit special, butttt that being said, once you know your stuff it’s much easier to know what you’re after in the supermarket aisles too. It just takes a ‘lil research and knowing how much ££ you wanna spend and then voila, cheese4lyf.
PLAN YOUR EXTRAS.
My fave part. The extras. The grapes, the crackers, the bread, the figs, ohhhh the list could go on & on… but firstly you should know how far you wanna go when buying all the extras as they easily add up! If it’s only a couple of friends, maybe some crackers and grapes will do? But if it’s a big old wine and cheese tasting night then maybe you might wanna try a little more. Add a couple of figs, some fancy fresh baguettes, you know the drill. Just make sure you have a mini plan of what it is you’re after before heading to the shops as we all know how un-listed supermarket visits can end up… #buysitall.
STORING YOUR CHEESE.
Okay, this sounds super simple right? But different cheeses will need to be stored in different places. Some are best in the fridge and others are definitely not, especially if you go for a stonky melty kind such as a stilton. They’re gonna smell, probably a lot… So I usually shop or pick mine up the night before the parytayyy, hence all the prep beforehand. To ensure taste factor is at 100% make sure you know how each cheese should be stored before the big night.
CREATING YOUR MASTERPIECE.
Alright alright, masterpiece might be a little over the top but seriously, have some fun! Putting together your cheese platter that dreamzzz are made of is the best bit! Throw ya grapes around, place that cheese elegantly on ya Homesense marble board and enjoy making it looks fancy AF.
Haha I was just looking at the blog too, truely every post is more jaw dropping than the last. Hilarious too, as the above cheese masterclass proves.
My favourite is ‘how to avoid feeling overwhelmed’, packed full of incredibly basic and unhelpful insights as you would imagine
And you then see ‘this blog post contains affiliate links’... so she just threw this faux crap caring stuff together to make cash....
Oh well maybe she will link to something really stylish or special ...
Ah.
My favourite is ‘how to avoid feeling overwhelmed’, packed full of incredibly basic and unhelpful insights as you would imagine
And you then see ‘this blog post contains affiliate links’... so she just threw this faux crap caring stuff together to make cash....
Oh well maybe she will link to something really stylish or special ...
Ah.
Poppy reminds me a bit of Kim jong-un. In her "career" she's never really had to try hard, have her work reviewed or been challenged to improve and better herself.
Resulting in her churning out this dire content, while winning awards thanks to her connections and she genuinely thinks she's a hard worker.
Resulting in her churning out this dire content, while winning awards thanks to her connections and she genuinely thinks she's a hard worker.
She's also got a miserable face like him too
I thought G&T were her brother’s thing? Poppy will really do sponsorships with just about anyone. I guess the home mortgage, her office, and paying an assistant is really looming over her head since who knows what Sean actually does or if he even contributes financially.
At least Poppy doesn’t hide her AD in the corner like Alfie does, if that counts for anything.
Her grammar and syntax make me throw up in my mouth.
I swear she’s an undercover blogger trying to get the inside scoop on the seedy blogging world.
like miss congeniality......no idea what she’s doing so shes faking it.
her legs look like she’s retaining a hell of a lot of water
cut out the snacks poppy.
like miss congeniality......no idea what she’s doing so shes faking it.
her legs look like she’s retaining a hell of a lot of water
cut out the snacks poppy.that bleeping hideous pink table cloth infuriates me
Although she did make it blend in with the background, I doubt that wasn't on purpose.