Hi all. I've seen a few other people on here mention they are doing PhDs so thought I would have an anonymous moan to people in the same boat. I'm finding everything so tough right now and everything I write is awful but I'm getting soo behind. Spent all day today on the couch after having a breakdown at 9am at my computer. I feel crap and pathetic and exhausted. Please say I'm not the only one who gets days like this
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You are soooo not the only one. Everyone has days, or even months, like this. You can do this! Is your supervisor supportive?
Thanks for your reply. Yes, my supervisor is very supportive, but I'm not really honest with them and I usually pretend everything is fine but I'm worried that its starting to show in my work that I'm not getting where I need to be
I was like this. I told no one and managed to style it out and get by. Got PhD but ittook me an extra yr. To be fair I wouldn't change the fact it took me so long to complete but I wish I had suspended or taken a proper break of a few months instead of half heartedly getting by and feeling constant guilt.
I would say be as open and honest as possible with yourself first of all. Are you enjoying the topic, is it just the pandemic, is it the lone working which is typical of a PhD? If that isn't the problem then maybe you just need a total break from it. Even two weeks where you can forget about it. That feeling of "crap, pathetic, exhausted" does not breed productivity and will wear you down. Awwww good luck!!!
Hey! I'm in the exact same situation, since the beginning of the year I have really struggled with motivation, guilt, pandemic-related anxiety, etc. I'm also the kind of person who has a hard time asking for help or admitting that I can't handle something which has definitely made the problem worse. 3 weeks ago I finally had an honest discussion with my supervisor. He was very supportive and suggested to take it easy for a while - so I took a 1 week break for Easter (a real "switched off my university e-mail, 10 hours of Netflix a day and not feeling guilty about it" kind of break) and now I have to say that I do feel more refreshed and motivated to work! Not sure how long it will last but I'll take it one day at a time for now
Yay! Great thread 
I'm writing at the mo and its painfully slow. Like I'm motivated enough, I think, but when I sit down and look at the material I have to write its going at snails pace.
I'm writing at the mo and its painfully slow. Like I'm motivated enough, I think, but when I sit down and look at the material I have to write its going at snails pace.
Hi all! I just wanted to add a big "YOU ARE NOT ALONE" in bright flashing neon colours, from someone who is out the other side of their PhD. For the whole time I was doing it I thought I was the worst PhD student ever. I struggled with the lack of structure, had to take weeks off with stress, nearly quit so many times and then, one month before my thesis was due and I thought I'd finally be free of it all, my supervisor told me it wasn't good enough to submit and I had to get a year's extension. As you can imagine, that was not a good day!
However - I did make it through and finally passed my viva after working on the PhD for just over five years. And after my viva, as I was having drinks with my supervisor. I asked her about a few other PhD students who'd started around the same time as me, and who I thought were super brilliant and amazing and so much better than me. Do you know what? Not one had even submitted their thesis yet, let alone passed their viva! And that was fine too - everyone works at their own pace, but what struck me was the fact that, all that time I thought I was doing terribly and so much worse than my peers, but actually, I was doing just fine.
What I'm trying to say is, you're all doing fine and everything you're feeling is very normal. Good luck, you really can do this! And if you want any advice from a battle scarred PhD veteran please ask away
However - I did make it through and finally passed my viva after working on the PhD for just over five years. And after my viva, as I was having drinks with my supervisor. I asked her about a few other PhD students who'd started around the same time as me, and who I thought were super brilliant and amazing and so much better than me. Do you know what? Not one had even submitted their thesis yet, let alone passed their viva! And that was fine too - everyone works at their own pace, but what struck me was the fact that, all that time I thought I was doing terribly and so much worse than my peers, but actually, I was doing just fine.
What I'm trying to say is, you're all doing fine and everything you're feeling is very normal. Good luck, you really can do this! And if you want any advice from a battle scarred PhD veteran please ask away
So glad there's a thread here! I'm doing a computational PhD, so I have been lucky in that I can work from home (unlike others in my groups who couldn't go into the lab). But I still have days were I feel like packing it all in and I think the working from home is making me doubt my capabilities even more. I'm currently writing a paper and I just feel terrible becuase I've been writing for ages and I'm realising how terrible I am as a writer, I want it to be done with but I don't have the drive to get it finished
So good to know I'm not alone. It always seems like everyone else has their tit together apart from me!
Yayy finally a PhD thread! Hello 
I’m in my 2nd year about to start data collection. Written my ever changing lit review (my supervisors always comment saying ‘have you thought about adding this’
)
I’m worried about my methods as my recruitment and data collection are all online due to ‘Rona. But we move. As I say I’m in my 2nd year so plenty of time... I think lol. I’m due to submit in December 2022 and hoping I don’t go over. I’m funded thankfully and I think you can apply for a write up fund if you go over.
I feel really thick sometimes and like I don’t know what I’m on about. Then I have days where I can write loads and I think wow I really know what I’m doing. I’m on leave this week and I feel so guilty for not working. I’ve read the odd article and I’m like what are you doing you’re on holiday!!
Glad there’s this thread now
I’m in my 2nd year about to start data collection. Written my ever changing lit review (my supervisors always comment saying ‘have you thought about adding this’
)I’m worried about my methods as my recruitment and data collection are all online due to ‘Rona. But we move. As I say I’m in my 2nd year so plenty of time... I think lol. I’m due to submit in December 2022 and hoping I don’t go over. I’m funded thankfully and I think you can apply for a write up fund if you go over.
I feel really thick sometimes and like I don’t know what I’m on about. Then I have days where I can write loads and I think wow I really know what I’m doing. I’m on leave this week and I feel so guilty for not working. I’ve read the odd article and I’m like what are you doing you’re on holiday!!
Glad there’s this thread now
My PhD was honestly awful. I'm still not even sure it was worth it. The final year was a lot better (I took 4 full years in the end) but I spent the first two crying every day. My tips (spoilered because long)
1. Be honest with your supervisors. Tell them you are panicking and you're about to fall into the black hole before you fall into it. I cannot stress enough how important this is, they cannot help you if they don't know, once you are in there it is so hard to get back out. It also sets you back massively. I can't even begin to count how many times I emailed like 'hi I can't submit this chapter I need a few more weeks/days' and they had no idea I was struggling. Tell. Them. Now.
2. Try to write something every single day. Even if its like, one sentence. For me, the longer I spent away from my thesis crying, the more anxious I got about getting back to work. There was one time I had spent two weeks in bed crying with the stress of it, decided I had to start working again, sat down and opened my Word document and vomited. Write a tiny amount every single day, doesn't matter if you don't end up using it, just keep the momentum going as much as you possibly can. I actually did this even when I went on holiday but I was a very anxious student so I'm sure for lots of people this isn't necessary.
3. Ignore everyone else, don't even bother yourself with how far along they are compared to you etc etc. I spent so much of my PhD feeling like utter tit because I was struggling, constantly behind, and it took me 4 years but you know what - I have n e v e r been asked how long my PhD took, or how many corrections I needed. That one freaky genius you know who finishes in 2 years and 10 months has the same qualification as you even if it takes you 6 years and 6 months of major corrections. It does not matter at all. Same goes re comparing yourself with other people's publications and conferences etc - I only did 1 conference, and only published my first article in my fourth year. Yes I knew people who had like 4 papers out by the end of 3 years. Great for them! But not a reflection on me, nor you.
4. Work in whatever structure suits you best. I am naturally a night owl, I get up early now for work because I have to but when I was a student 4am was my bedtime. That's just my natural bodyclock, I work best at night and even now I do a lot of my substantive work late at night. Don't force yourself to work in a routine that you know doesn't suit you. I know people who swear by the advice that's like 'get up at 6am and write until midday' but honestly when I tried that I just sat crying for hours
again, you have to really ignore everyone else on that.
5. If you're doing empirical work keep notes on your methods as you go along because otherwise it's really hard to write your methods up later.
6. Same re referencing - it's a ballache, everyone says it and nobody does it, but do try your hardest to keep on top of it. If you're feeling very overwhelmed and paralysed, it's a good task to do because it feels productive and it has to be done but it's quite monotonous so very calming IMO.
7. My best tip and basically what pulled me out of the tit pit - get a hobby that you can feel like you're progressing in and has NOTHING to do with your PhD. This was honestly transformative for me. It doesn't have to be something expensive or fancy. I took up something I'd wanted to do since I was a child and having set time in my week where it wasn't possible to think about my PhD because I had to focus on something else was invaluable. It's too easy to say you're 'having a break' watching TV and just sat there stressing. Force yourself to do something where its literally not possible to think about your PhD. It really helps you feel like you're achieving something else.
8. Similarly - maintain friendships with people who aren't on PhDs or academia. You might think it's easy for me to say as someone out the other side but genuinely - it is just a degree. Yes it is important. But it is not your whole life. It is not your worth or value. It ENDS and your life will go on. Keeping up relationships with people who aren't completely absorbed with academia and don't measure their self esteem by their academic work really keeps you grounded.
2. Try to write something every single day. Even if its like, one sentence. For me, the longer I spent away from my thesis crying, the more anxious I got about getting back to work. There was one time I had spent two weeks in bed crying with the stress of it, decided I had to start working again, sat down and opened my Word document and vomited. Write a tiny amount every single day, doesn't matter if you don't end up using it, just keep the momentum going as much as you possibly can. I actually did this even when I went on holiday but I was a very anxious student so I'm sure for lots of people this isn't necessary.
3. Ignore everyone else, don't even bother yourself with how far along they are compared to you etc etc. I spent so much of my PhD feeling like utter tit because I was struggling, constantly behind, and it took me 4 years but you know what - I have n e v e r been asked how long my PhD took, or how many corrections I needed. That one freaky genius you know who finishes in 2 years and 10 months has the same qualification as you even if it takes you 6 years and 6 months of major corrections. It does not matter at all. Same goes re comparing yourself with other people's publications and conferences etc - I only did 1 conference, and only published my first article in my fourth year. Yes I knew people who had like 4 papers out by the end of 3 years. Great for them! But not a reflection on me, nor you.
4. Work in whatever structure suits you best. I am naturally a night owl, I get up early now for work because I have to but when I was a student 4am was my bedtime. That's just my natural bodyclock, I work best at night and even now I do a lot of my substantive work late at night. Don't force yourself to work in a routine that you know doesn't suit you. I know people who swear by the advice that's like 'get up at 6am and write until midday' but honestly when I tried that I just sat crying for hours
again, you have to really ignore everyone else on that.5. If you're doing empirical work keep notes on your methods as you go along because otherwise it's really hard to write your methods up later.
6. Same re referencing - it's a ballache, everyone says it and nobody does it, but do try your hardest to keep on top of it. If you're feeling very overwhelmed and paralysed, it's a good task to do because it feels productive and it has to be done but it's quite monotonous so very calming IMO.
7. My best tip and basically what pulled me out of the tit pit - get a hobby that you can feel like you're progressing in and has NOTHING to do with your PhD. This was honestly transformative for me. It doesn't have to be something expensive or fancy. I took up something I'd wanted to do since I was a child and having set time in my week where it wasn't possible to think about my PhD because I had to focus on something else was invaluable. It's too easy to say you're 'having a break' watching TV and just sat there stressing. Force yourself to do something where its literally not possible to think about your PhD. It really helps you feel like you're achieving something else.
8. Similarly - maintain friendships with people who aren't on PhDs or academia. You might think it's easy for me to say as someone out the other side but genuinely - it is just a degree. Yes it is important. But it is not your whole life. It is not your worth or value. It ENDS and your life will go on. Keeping up relationships with people who aren't completely absorbed with academia and don't measure their self esteem by their academic work really keeps you grounded.
I did mine online because I had no proper research funds (just a uni studentship) and it was honestly fine, I don't think I would've learnt more from doing face to face or anything like that. What methods are you using? I did interviews on Teams if that reassures you at all! It's also quite handy because Teams has a built in record feature, and if you upload it into Microsoft Streams it also gives you a rough transcription immediately, so using online stuff does have its perks too
Great tips @judgejohndeed
One of my supervisors says to write 500 words a day (some days more attainable than others) but it does help to write. Especially the methods, I’m constantly writing notes on my methods. More so now during Covid as the pandemic has changed my data collection and will form part of my reflexivity and positionality section.
My PhD is in medical sociology so it’s heavily theoretical as well as empirical. I really need to get on top of my references, I’ve let it slide as I find Endnote confusing
One of my supervisors says to write 500 words a day (some days more attainable than others) but it does help to write. Especially the methods, I’m constantly writing notes on my methods. More so now during Covid as the pandemic has changed my data collection and will form part of my reflexivity and positionality section.
My PhD is in medical sociology so it’s heavily theoretical as well as empirical. I really need to get on top of my references, I’ve let it slide as I find Endnote confusing
Sounds very similar to mine, I had a lot of theory and a lotttt of data. It was so daunting. Also in the medical sphere!Great tips @judgejohndeed
One of my supervisors says to write 500 words a day (some days more attainable than others) but it does help to write. Especially the methods, I’m constantly writing notes on my methods. More so now during Covid as the pandemic has changed my data collection and will form part of my reflexivity and positionality section.
My PhD is in medical sociology so it’s heavily theoretical as well as empirical. I really need to get on top of my references, I’ve let it slide as I find Endnote confusing
They really push Endnote and the like but I hated it and in the end I just made an Excel spreadsheet, and did all my referencing manually. It's probably more stressful, but I felt like I trusted myself more than Endnote, which kept cocking up and then I had to correct it anyway.
Yeah I do mine by hand 9 times out of 10. I just have a word document with my chapter headings and keep adding the references to it.
Fellow PhD student here! I'm in my second year, will go into my third year in the summer. I have mental health problems and I'm SO behind as a result but can't help but compare myself to the other PhD students I work alongside. I find I'm rubbish at dealing with feedback, looking at the comments and amendments on drafts of my chapters fills me with dread and makes me feel worthless.
I’m so glad there’s a thread for this! I don’t know anyone else doing a phd and I kind of feel a bit isolated. I’m only in my first year but I’ve now got to the point where I feel I need to take some time out. I lost my grandfather a month ago and there’s been ongoing issues in my personal life. My supervisors have been amazingly supportive - I’ve been very open and honest about how bad my mental health has been. It’s now got to the point where I’m strongly considering taking a year out to secure myself financially and emotionally.
Did it take anyone else a lot longer than anticipated to develop their topic? It’s taken me until about a month ago to finally find a better direction to the one I had anticipated.
Did it take anyone else a lot longer than anticipated to develop their topic? It’s taken me until about a month ago to finally find a better direction to the one I had anticipated.
I spent the first year and a half finalising my topic! I still don't know which direction some of my analyses will take and I'm going into my third year (of 3.5 years of funding) this summer.
I really empathise, I absolutely hated this. It feels weirdly intimate giving up work for comment. If it helps, try to remember that you are not your work, they are just trying to help you fill in gaps now so that you don't fail your viva or end up with thousands of corrections. Also though, remember it is your work and if you really strongly disagree with something that is a judgement call, don't do it. At the end of the day you have to defend this, not them!I find I'm rubbish at dealing with feedback, looking at the comments and amendments on drafts of my chapters fills me with dread and makes me feel worthless.
Yay so pleased there’s a PhD thread 
I’m in my second year of an English lit PhD. I really enjoy it but there’s definitely dark days. Totally agree with above poster about some days being really positive and productive, while on other days I can barely even verbalise / explain my research 
I’m self-funded but I tend to find there’s a lot of stigma if you pay to do a PhD yourself (especially in my subject). It does seem that a lot of people assume you want a career in academia if you do a PhD. In an ideal world I’d like to pursue it, but the job market sounds like hell from what I’ve heard
I’m in my second year of an English lit PhD. I really enjoy it but there’s definitely dark days. Totally agree with above poster about some days being really positive and productive, while on other days I can barely even verbalise / explain my research I’m self-funded but I tend to find there’s a lot of stigma if you pay to do a PhD yourself (especially in my subject). It does seem that a lot of people assume you want a career in academia if you do a PhD. In an ideal world I’d like to pursue it, but the job market sounds like hell from what I’ve heard
I'm currently doing an enforced Healthcare masters as part of my job. I don't hugely enjoy it because it seems to mostly be about self reflection and my own leadership skills, but one of my dreams has been to either get a PhD in Public Health or an MBA. Need to finish this qualification first, though...