Perimenopause Moans #3

[Moonflower]

Article in the Guardian today about the monetisation of menopause. Sorry I can't do the archive thingy! But my biopsy came back clear which now means I can start being dealt with as menopausal. Must chase up blood results too.

https://www.archive.is/https://www....oct/27/menopause-social-media-women-gold-rush

It is an absolute license to print money from desperate people. I heard a menopause expert say on a podcast recently that her clinic sees 2-3000 women a month. Those appointments are £200 each at least - so you do the maths.

 

[Hold my beans]

Another strange one... eyesight considerably worse at random times I can't pinpoint it to any particular causes, and it happens at various times in various places. I mentioned it to the optician a while back and apparently it's normal for 'ladies over 40'

 

[Swordshead]

My motivation and energy is really be low at the minute as well, it’s like I’m having to literally drag myself around.

OMG same! The last six months I feel like I have lead weights in my legs Aches and pains out of nowhere too. Jesus ladies, how the hell are we supposed to feel better when I literally want to crawl into bed at the end of the day lately It's not even depression, it's like all of a sudden someone has given me a 20kg sack of potatoes to carry around all day

 

[taffygirl77]

I had my appt with gynecologist today, ended up with a biopsy as its standard practice apparently for those over 45. She recommended the coil too. Lab results will be back by the weekend. Letter next week in time for GP appt and Coil consultation a few weeks later. Said everything seems standard with what she's seen so far.
Glad I went this route, as the thought of waiting till mid 2026 to see consultant then a further wait for a biopsy, before anything being done, I just can't do it. Currently on day 44 of period

 

[Tank Girl]

Controversial probably but I don’t think Davina looks great. I think she looks thin and drawn. Like as if shes undereating and over exercising . I’m embracing the belly. I exercise for sure but too thin can make us look unhealthy as well. Be kind to yourselves too ladies it’s all such a lot.

 

[veronica71]

Weight lifting is your friend here, 3/5 times a week plus low intensity ie walking, swimming etc.

Lifting weights will stimulate your muscles to burn fat even when you’re sat down the next day. Diet is also key, put your details into a calculator and it will give you your daily calories for maintenance or weight loss. Plus the protein/carbs/fats you should be aiming for daily. Protein is essential.

When you get to peri menopause it’s critical to build muscle which will aid us into old age, think of it as - do I want to get off the sofa without huffing and puffing in ten years time?

The old adage of ‘use it or lose it’ is also important, mobility of our joints and the connective tissue deteriorates with age as well as losing muscle. We need to work our bodies for them to operate in an optimal way.

I know it sounds a bit preachy but think of some people around you at 65+ who are not very mobile. That will be us in not that long if we’re not careful!

I need to get back to my weights - had to stop due to a flare up on my back, probably due to menopause. It definitely helped me feel better and my clothes feel better. My friend and I motivate ourselves by saying we want to be able to wipe our own arses when we are 80

 

[RainbowFuzz]

I forgot the name of sausage dogs and called them potato dogs

 

[veronica71]

Its just mental really isn't it - I had a bit of bleeding when I first started HRT and it just felt so alien. The fact we are bleeding - often heavily and feeling awful and have to carry on as normal is just crazy. My daughter is coming up to the point we need to have the chat and I'm like so I've got to tell her that every month now for the next 40 odd years she will bleed and feel crap but oh you just have to carry on like nothings happening!

Sorry bit of a rant there but it sucks to be a woman!

 

[CallaLily]

My mother was probably starting peri when I was hitting puberty. We had some awful fights. I used to resent her cause I thought she treated my dad badly, but I'm wondering was it because of menopause.

A quick calculation, and this would've been the same for me. And, being 40 odd years ago, our Mother's would've had far less information and support.
Some of the things we've experienced we know is menopause because we're sharing here, we're getting supplements from Amazon or hrt etc. Imagine suffering all we do, with no help and having a stroppy pubescent teenager to deal with

 

[Winthropp Tuesday]

Oh @Crumpet41, I am so sorry this is the experience you've had - and my god, you're most certainly not moaning. I've had similar problems with my GP refusing to consider I'm in peri - even with me providing detailed evidence of all the changes to my cycle, problems with mood/anxiety, and other hormonal symptoms. "You're too young; we won't consider you until you're 46". This was 3 years ago, when I was 42 - things are exactly the same for me now, at 45, although worse in some ways.

I was fobbed off with anti-depressants - they wanted me on Sertraline to help with my PMDD, but wouldn't consider any hormone therapy even though it's quite clear my symptoms are all cycle-related. (Not dissing anti-d's by the way, but I've had bad reactions to the ones I've tried in the past).

This is so unjust and unfair for you - and for all of us.

Just as a general recommendation - I've recently finished reading Naga Munchetty's new book: 'It's Probably Nothing', about the rise of medial misogyny, and it's well written though absolutely rage inducing to see the number of women in the same position as many of us are... things shouldn't be like this, but they are and it absolutely sucks donkey balls.

 

[BerlinILoveYou]

Louise Newson has no doubt helped lots of women but has also had a lot of criticism for putting women on too high a dose. There's lots online. These clinics shouldn't really exist as the NHS should provide what we need.

Louise Newson: TV menopause doctor concerns probed by watchdog

Doctors and patients question the prescribing of high HRT doses by Dr Louise Newson and her clinics.

www.bbc.co.uk

I thought this earlier on when I took my herbal bits and bobs which cost me a small fortune - people are deffo monetising off women's misery and it would be just wonderful if the NHS could provide whats needed for us.

P.S I'll read this article - thanks for sharing x

 

[taffygirl77]

I've taken the plunge and decided to contact a private gynacologist, the receptionist at my GP told me it took her 6 years to get sorted and she went private herself. She said they will probably wait to do anything until I've seen the gynacologist - but has put me on the wait list to speak to someone about the coil. I'm done and not waiting until the middle of next year. It'll be less Christmas presents for people this year

 

[CarmenGhia]

Attempting to book a reformer pilates class this week. Proper middle-aged woman exercise. Next stop, aqua aerobics.

 

[50sGirl]

I look in the mirror and see my mum now.
I’ve also realised why she always used to buy me clothes she wanted to wear but couldn’t.

I do too. When I moaned to my best friend about it she replied “Think yourself lucky, when I look in the mirror I see my dad!” 🫣

 

[Boomwhatwasthis]

Hurrah, I have found my people.

Is anyone else's brain absent presumed missing since this started?!

 

[zetta buttons]

Apologies if this is TMI.

I follow a pharmacist on insta who is really fab imo. My piles are getting out of control. They are stopping me doing the things I love and atm I am curled up after waddling home from a run. She said that decreasing oestrogen can thin linings (various ones) which a) can makes things itchy- ears, eyes etc. and b) exacerbate things like piles.

It hasn’t helped by my eating being shit for years and causing this but I’m so over this.

 

[Borrible]

It's very frightening It's like I'm wandering around in a fog

 

[LetsCallEmOut]

My god am I glad I found this thread!! I’m only at the very start of peri becoming unbearable and I think forums like this are just indispensable for realistic and specific advice, and shared experiences. Thank you all.

I have unbounded rage about my biology books from school (circa 1995), wherein there was ONE LINE at the end of the chapter about periods, sex, pregnancy, and childbirth which said “when a woman reaches the age of 50-60, her periods cease and she is considered to be in menopause”. That was it.

 

[taffygirl77]

They probably think you're a middle aged, miserable, menopausal what not anyway and won't be surprised

More seriously, your health and well being are a far higher priority, and your loved ones would or certainly should understand if you have to prioritise your budget.

You may have only been joking, but sometimes presents, giving money etc does get out of hand and it can be useful for one event to trigger a review and cull. Slightly veering off-topic, but it's also an anxiety and mental health issue. A few years ago, MrLily was made redundant, nearing Christmas finances were still tight. I had been doing gifts or money for my cousin's kids, the stepdaughters and their kids. So, I explained to everyone we weren't doing anything for anyone at Christmas, and it would probably then extend to Birthdays.

I haven't ever resumed. We never received anything from them anyway. My cousin's kids are now adults, Mr Lily's side don't even send us Birthday or Christmas cards and we never or rarely see any of them, so, I just thought, sod it and never returned to sending anything.

Hah, you must know me

I decided back last year with high blood pressure that I had to prioritise myself, as I can't care for others if I don't take of ,myself, and also I need to be here to do that.

I love Christmas but detest all the hype and expectations this could be a good outer for that!

 

[zetta buttons]

I’ve been reading just how hard it is to tackle this meno belly business. I hill walk every day. Nothing doing- no change whatsoever to this in-built buoyancy aid o’ mine.

Waist bands may become dead to me. Dungarees for the win.

Why does Davina look so good, it’s just beyond my understanding.

I’ve just cried at my wife. She has her own peri struggles and although yesterday we raged all day at each other, having a hug and a cry with someone who gets helped.

Onwards and upwards. Jeans are now in the vinted pile.