Peaches Geldof

[Friendsfan]

Addiction is hard . I don’t take drugs . Peaches must of been battling demons :-( poor babies.
upsets me knowing they were very young and won’t probably remember their mother.
may she rest in peace x
This thread is very interesting xxxx
Honestly everyone sharing their stories is just emotional to read about!

 

[OhDearFords]

I want to thank everyone who has shared their candid experiences with addiction, it has really opened my eyes. I feel sad for peaches and her babies - and sad that more can’t be done to deal with addiction, or more effective ways to treat the underlying traumas behind a lot of addictive behaviours

 

[heatmagazine]

That poor little boy in the house alone is haunting. I really hope he was asleep through most of it. I do not know the ins and outs of attachment style parenting, but it scares me maybe he couldn’t settle without her. It’s a sad state of affairs all around.

 

[Lifeofeden]

I have been going back and forth whether to post this or not, and i apologize if i offend anyone....

Addiction was such a huge part of Peaches life, and 75% of posters were aware and talking about her addictions before anyone shared their own lived experience. I am not sorry at all for posting my own experience of addiction, and i feel honoured that others who have also had direct and indrect experience of addiction felt comfortable sharing their own story. Hell, users-both current and recovering users have spent a large part of their life feeling stigmatised and without a voice, so i think its been amazing listening to other peoples experience.

The way i see it, i saw a lot of comments regarding addiction that people acknowledged they did not know much about addiction, and asking questions, making assumptions. If by myself and others sharing their experiences at least one person felt a little less judged or ashamed, or less lonely. Or if it even gave someone the confidence to reach out and get help. To be honest if it even made someone think about addiction differently then i personally think thats bleeping amazing.

To be completely honest if i felt uncomfortable about addiction then i probably wouldnt be on a thread about Peaches anyway, considering its fair to say a lot of the posts would be about her addiction. But thats just me.

As i say, im sorry if anyone is offended by this, that is not the point of this post. And im happy not to talk about it again

Brilliant post thanks for sharing your story

 

[Roastielover]

The baby being alone haunts me, has it ever been in any reports how he was found? Was he ok?

I know he’s ok now, but just the thought of him alone for all those hours. Especially as she was an attachment type parent. He may not have even been put in a cot

 

[Madbadsad]

She can’t have been that much of an attachment parent if she was leaving them three days a week with the grandparents.
A bit like her mum doing attachment parenting via the nanny.

 

[Death2unicorns]

I’d say 100% she was not attachment parenting and was not exclusively breastfeeding

For her to have physically been able to get pregnant again at three months postpartum is pretty conclusive that she wasn’t ebf, ebf DOES stop your menstrual cycle for at least 6 months (when you are bf round the clock and not supplementing or handing baby over to someone else for long periods of time) this is mother nature’s intelligent design to stop you from getting pregnant again too soon (pregnancy can tank your milk supply and that would threaten the survival of the already existing baby)

The fact that she even had time to have sex tells me she wasn’t AP and ebf, generally with AP you don’t put your baby down to sleep in their own sleep space like a cot or Moses basket, they bed share with you and tend to BF constantly, it is very intense and you don’t get a minute to yourself, I bet she had a nanny or a lot of help from the grandparents, how could she be doing AP while on a drug like heroin?? It’s not possible, for a start it isnt safe to bedshare with a baby while on drugs and one of the key features of AP is bedsharing

I feel like she favoured AP, and wanted to AP, so presented that image of herself publicly but behind closed doors things were probably a mess with a lot of help and support being given to her to enable her to even be present with those babies, it is all very sad

 

[Gossipgirl92]

I’d say 100% she was not attachment parenting and was not exclusively breastfeeding

For her to have physically been able to get pregnant again at three months postpartum is pretty conclusive that she wasn’t ebf, ebf DOES stop your menstrual cycle for at least 6 months (when you are bf round the clock and not supplementing or handing baby over to someone else for long periods of time) this is mother nature’s intelligent design to stop you from getting pregnant again too soon (pregnancy can tank your milk supply and that would threaten the survival of the already existing baby)

The fact that she even had time to have sex tells me she wasn’t AP and ebf, generally with AP you don’t put your baby down to sleep in their own sleep space like a cot or Moses basket, they bed share with you and tend to BF constantly, it is very intense and you don’t get a minute to yourself, I bet she had a nanny or a lot of help from the grandparents, how could she be doing AP while on a drug like heroin?? It’s not possible, for a start it isnt safe to bedshare with a baby while on drugs and one of the key features of AP is bedsharing

I feel like she favoured AP, and wanted to AP, so presented that image of herself publicly but behind closed doors things were probably a mess with a lot of help and support being given to her to enable her to even be present with those babies, it is all very sad

I don’t think this is right, I think it differs. I personally exclusively breastfed my two for a year and my periods came back after 3 months both times.

 

[Beverley Macker]

Imagine being a nurse at the hospital seeing her on the front of a magazine preaching about attachment parenting, knowing you were weaning her drug addicted babies, or even a member of the family knowing the truth - you have to remember that she never had to give all those interviews telling these outrageous lies, she totally chose to.
In the same way that photoshopping photos makes women feel tit about themselves, publicising what an utterly devoted, amazing and superior mother is just as bad if not worse, she was quite happy to make other mums feel tit about themselves.

 

[Death2unicorns]

I don’t think this is right, I think it differs. I personally exclusively breastfed my two for a year and my periods came back after 3 months both times.

that’s very unusual to get your period back so quickly, for most women it’s 9-18 months with 13 months being the average, maybe it can depend on how much of a little milk monster the baby is!

Seriously though I highly doubt peaches had her baby latched onto her breast round the clock while she was taking smack! The two just aren’t really compatible with each other

Imagine being a nurse at the hospital seeing her on the front of a magazine preaching about attachment parenting, knowing you were weaning her drug addicted babies, or even a member of the family knowing the truth - You have to remember that she never had to give all those interviews telling these outrageous lies, she totally chose to.
In the same way that photoshopping photos makes women feel tit about themselves, publicising what an utterly devoted, amazing and superior mother is just as bad if not worse, she was quite happy to make other mums feel tit about themselves.

yeah that’s what I don’t get, maybe she was so desperate for that to be her reality so as other people have said tried the ‘fake it till you make it’ approach

 

[Vanillaco]

"She regularly left the children with Tom’s parents, Keith, a social worker, and Sue, an artist, usually for three days a week."

This was a sentence in a one article upthread. How long does AP go on for? Or how does it work moving forwards? This isn't just a working mum that comes home after work, she wasn't with them for half of the time!

AP means totally being with your child until, I think they are two, including bf on demand. From what I remember ( reading, I didnt do it!) the child decides when they want more independence. She was not AP. It sounds like in her head, it was the kind of mother she wanted to be, and what she wanted other people to see her as but she just couldnt do it.. But like I said, I didnt do it, but North London, where I lived when my kids were small is full of former party girls turned attachment parents. It's like they have to do parenting right so have to be totally in control.
Edit: Just realised I've repeated what Death to unicorns said!

 

[LadyStardust]

The baby being alone haunts me, has it ever been in any reports how he was found? Was he ok?

I know he’s ok now, but just the thought of him alone for all those hours. Especially as she was an attachment type parent. He may not have even been put in a cot

The answers to your questions are both in this thread, a few pages back. All that's been publicised about the baby being found is that Peaches was found dead surrounded by drugs paraphernalia, and the baby was found playing in another room.

They didn't use cots, instead they shared beds with the boys, taking one each to co-sleep with in separate rooms.

 

[Vanillaco]

Imagine being a nurse at the hospital seeing her on the front of a magazine preaching about attachment parenting, knowing you were weaning her drug addicted babies, or even a member of the family knowing the truth - you have to remember that she never had to give all those interviews telling these outrageous lies, she totally chose to.
In the same way that photoshopping photos makes women feel tit about themselves, publicising what an utterly devoted, amazing and superior mother is just as bad if not worse, she was quite happy to make other mums feel tit about themselves.

This is exactly right. She was lying to herself, but she was lying to women who had just had a baby. Parenting is hard, and AP must take over your whole life, as the baby is literally attached to you as much as they want. It's very time consuming. She had all the time in the world to do it, but didnt do it, she just pretended to. I really hate celebs and parenting 'experts' like Gina Ford etc. Parenting is so hard, especially when they are babies, and to have some smug celeb making money out of telling new mums how to do it when they have a nanny ( or , in the case of the Gina Fords of this world, are nannies) really does make it harder for other women. It's not helpful. I was quite miserable when I had my first for his first year, and reading about what I ' should' do, and doing it but not quite being able to do it led to it. I'll never get that year back with my first baby, yet all I can remember is reading 'advice' and trying and trying different things and not getting it right. The only people who helped were my friends and a breastfeeding support group I went to. With my second, I ignored everyone and me and him were much happier.

 

[Annabanana40]

I’d say 100% she was not attachment parenting and was not exclusively breastfeeding

For her to have physically been able to get pregnant again at three months postpartum is pretty conclusive that she wasn’t ebf, ebf DOES stop your menstrual cycle for at least 6 months (when you are bf round the clock and not supplementing or handing baby over to someone else for long periods of time) this is mother nature’s intelligent design to stop you from getting pregnant again too soon (pregnancy can tank your milk supply and that would threaten the survival of the already existing baby)

The fact that she even had time to have sex tells me she wasn’t AP and ebf, generally with AP you don’t put your baby down to sleep in their own sleep space like a cot or Moses basket, they bed share with you and tend to BF constantly, it is very intense and you don’t get a minute to yourself, I bet she had a nanny or a lot of help from the grandparents, how could she be doing AP while on a drug like heroin?? It’s not possible, for a start it isnt safe to bedshare with a baby while on drugs and one of the key features of AP is bedsharing

I feel like she favoured AP, and wanted to AP, so presented that image of herself publicly but behind closed doors things were probably a mess with a lot of help and support being given to her to enable her to even be present with those babies, it is all very sad

I ebf both mine and in both cases had a period at 8 weeks post partum. Health visitor said it's unusual but does happen. I felt really unlucky!

 

[Peterboroughmum]

This is exactly right. She was lying to herself, but she was lying to women who had just had a baby.

I found it interesting that her mum wrote 2 books on parenting. Definitely trying and falling to be earth mothers.

 

[L2M2]

Given that Peaches died due to drug addiction it’s quite easy to make a judgement in your head about why she did that and why her babies,sadly,weren’t more important. It’s been really interesting hearing of people who’ve been through it themselves and it helps to add some perspective which has left me feeling far less judgemental which is surely a good thing. I think it’s been really brave of those who shared their experiences and helps to take away from the stereotypical picture of a drug addict.

 

[LadyStardust]

I recently read that Paula Yates died on Pixie's 10th birthday. That seems incredibly sad. It seems that Paula didn't have a heroin addiction though, as the coroner ruled that her death was not a suicide, but a result of "foolish and incautious" behaviour. A friend disclosed during the inquest that Paula had not taken illegal drugs for nearly two years, and the coroner concluded that though the amount she had taken would not have killed an addict, as "an unsophisticated taker of heroin", Yates had no tolerance to the drug.

If Paula didn't have a heroin addiction, why would she choose to take heroin when in the presence of her 4 year old? That doesn't make any sense to me. If she had an addiction and her judgement was clouded due to that, sure. But just "for fun"? Seems odd to me.

 

[Tui]

I recently read that Paula Yates died on Pixie's 10th birthday. That seems incredibly sad. It seems that Paula didn't have a heroin addiction though, as the coroner ruled that her death was not a suicide, but a result of "foolish and incautious" behaviour. A friend disclosed during the inquest that Paula had not taken illegal drugs for nearly two years, and the coroner concluded that though the amount she had taken would not have killed an addict, as "an unsophisticated taker of heroin", Yates had no tolerance to the drug.

If Paula didn't have a heroin addiction, why would she choose to take heroin when in the presence of her 4 year old? That doesn't make any sense to me. If she had an addiction and her judgement was clouded due to that, sure. But just "for fun"? Seems odd to me.

I don’t really understand your post - clearly she did have an addiction? Maybe not a physiological one if she hadn’t taken heroin for a long time, but the psychological drive to use doesn’t go away after a detox. And there’s a difference between having a lower tolerance and having an addiction - it could be she had already started using again but her body wasn’t accustomed to the quantity that she herself had previously taken. Same thing happened to peaches, she died after using heroin that was 60% pure compared to the usual street strength of 25%.

 

[MunHun]

They both always had to try and go one better than the ‘average’ woman though.

Or just tried to do a better job then their own Mothers.

 

[LadyStardust]

I don’t really understand your post - clearly she did have an addiction? Maybe not a physiological one if she hadn’t taken heroin for a long time, but the psychological drive to use doesn’t go away after a detox. And there’s a difference between having a lower tolerance and having an addiction - it could be she had already started using again but her body wasn’t accustomed to the quantity that she herself had previously taken. Same thing happened to peaches, she died after using heroin that was 60% pure compared to the usual street strength of 25%.

Maybe I was a bit unclear. What I meant was that she clearly didn't have a heroin habit - a physical dependency on it, as she had been clear of drugs for two years at the time of her death.