Peaches Geldof and the Geldof family #3

I don’t get the impression Paula was a good mum either unfortunately. She was consumed by her media work, her relationships with men and then by substances.

I’m an alcoholic attempting to recover and I understand addiction problems, but then I am not a mum and don’t put kids through that. There is no hierarchy in addiction etc but honestly, I do think putting kids at risk is another level.

Ultimately, Paula and Peaches both overdosed on heroin in the presence of their young children and even with a lot of sympathy (and empathy) for substance abuse issues, and appreciating the compulsion that drives me to self-destruction quite often, that is nevertheless a certain level of extremely selfish. I am sure it wasn’t the only example of selfish behaviour by Paula. If I think of, say, Hayden Panettierre — she has had problems with addiction and her mental health and she took the decision to let the father of her child have primary custody. Some might consider that selfish (to not want to try to keep her child) but I don’t, she made the right decision IMO and stopped exposing the kid to things she shouldn’t see.

Solpaqueen said:

I don’t think Paula was a good mum, she probably wanted to be one hence the books and fake family life. Some tea, my Godfather knew her slightly and couldn’t stand her. I have put this on another thread some time ago but couldn’t find it different name. This was in the 80s my godfather was good friends with John Galliano who was seeing Jasper Conran and they were in his company I think it was his studio and they heard a lot of noise and a child screeching mucking around then they heard a woman screaming and shouting swearing and a really hard slap the sort that echos around a room. He said he and John were doing all those OMG faces and sniggering about it being young - then Paula Yates came into view with one of her girls. But he said it occurred to him much later in life that the little girl hadn’t cried despite that slap must have really hurt. Imagine hitting a child like that all the time painting a picture of domestic bliss.
he also said he’d heard that Paula didn’t like Peaches and never took to her and was always very hard on her she sacked a nanny that Peaches loved and slept with.

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That is some great goss, thank you.

Bet Paula wishes she’d kept that nan, now, seeing as it was Anita the later, infamous nanny who dobbed them in regarding the heroin in the smarties tube under the bed.

This thread is the absolute business! It’s the first one I come to when a’Tattling.

EnjoyingTheShow said:

That is some great goss, thank you.

Bet Paula wishes she’d kept that nan, now, seeing as it was Anita the later, infamous nanny who dobbed them in regarding the heroin in the smarties tube under the bed.

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Fucking idiot's they are so lucky they didn't kill their child. How exactly is Paula thought of as intelligent?? On what grounds? Cause that's just dumb as fuck.

IdeletedbutI'mbackagain said:

Fucking idiot's they are so lucky they didn't kill their child. How exactly is Paula thought of as intelligent?? On what grounds? Cause that's just dumb as fuck.

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Wasn’t there a story that Peaches hid her drugs a similar way? Not sure if it was ever confirmed.

Solpaqueen said:

I don’t think Paula was a good mum, she probably wanted to be one hence the books and fake family life. Some tea, my Godfather knew her slightly and couldn’t stand her. I have put this on another thread some time ago but couldn’t find it different name. This was in the 80s my godfather was good friends with John Galliano who was seeing Jasper Conran and they were in his company I think it was his studio and they heard a lot of noise and a child screeching mucking around then they heard a woman screaming and shouting swearing and a really hard slap the sort that echos around a room. He said he and John were doing all those OMG faces and sniggering about it being young - then Paula Yates came into view with one of her girls. But he said it occurred to him much later in life that the little girl hadn’t cried despite that slap must have really hurt. Imagine hitting a child like that all the time painting a picture of domestic bliss.
he also said he’d heard that Paula didn’t like Peaches and never took to her and was always very hard on her she sacked a nanny that Peaches loved and slept with.

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yeh I can believe that you know. Totally consistent with how narcs treat their offspring.

IIRC Paula spoke more warmly about Pixie than her elder girls. I think she parentified/scapegoated Fifi, scapegoated Peaches and Pixie was the Golden Child. Tiger would likely also have been allocated Golden Child Status.

sacking a nanny your child loves is totally on brand, because a narc would see that preference as a direct attack on them and their ego. Likewise when Paula was spreading those fake weird sexual accidental death theories about Michael - she’d rather grubby his legacy than accept he’d “left” her.

a narcissist doesn’t see it through the lens of “this person must have been really suffering and that makes me feel bad for them” (aka empathy)

they see it as “I can’t believe they left me. Why would they leave me? They can’t have chosen to leave me, I’m amazing. It must’ve been something else”. And so a suicide becomes a blow to their ego instead of a tragic loss.

Those poor girls.

cee-bee said:

yeh I can believe that you know. Totally consistent with how narcs treat their offspring.

IIRC Paula spoke more warmly about Pixie than her elder girls. I think she parentified/scapegoated Fifi, scapegoated Peaches and Pixie was the Golden Child. Tiger would likely also have been allocated Golden Child Status.

sacking a nanny your child loves is totally on brand, because a narc would see that preference as a direct attack on them and their ego. Likewise when Paula was spreading those fake weird sexual accidental death theories about Michael - she’d rather grubby his legacy than accept he’d “left” her.

a narcissist doesn’t see it through the lens of “this person must have been really suffering and that makes me feel bad for them” (aka empathy)

they see it as “I can’t believe they left me. Why would they leave me? They can’t have chosen to leave me, I’m amazing. It must’ve been something else”. And so a suicide becomes a blow to their ego instead of a tragic loss.

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The more I learn about her the more I'm convinced she had NPD. Even this whole idea of how "intelligent" she was, where did that come from? She didn't seem to exhibit it in any way, did she have a lot of degrees or something? A person of her privilege surely would have had easy access to education so I don't think qualifications would be synonymous with a higher intellect.

My mother is a Narc, I used to have to reaffirm how much smarter she was than everyone... thing is... she wasn't really that intelligent at all, if anything she struggled with basics and really drilled into me how stupid I was (for fear I was actually smarter than her I think).

SkippyDoo said:

Wasn’t there a story that Peaches hid her drugs a similar way? Not sure if it was ever confirmed.

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Peaches' heroin paraphernalia was indeed found in a box of sweets when she died. Think she'd kept it a lot more hidden than the Smarties though.

Jelly Bean said:

Article in the DM about Tiger Lily, off the back of the Paula documentary.
Nothing terribly new but she is known as Heavenly now. And apparantly was meant to get £36m from Michael's estate and got nothing as it had 'all gone'.
It also said Fifi had a tempestuous relationship with Paula for years and they weren't speaking.

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I don't understand that about the money, perhaps it's a false trail to stop public interest? Or did it all go on legal bills or people siphoning it off?

IdeletedbutI'mbackagain said:

The more I learn about her the more I'm convinced she had NPD. Even this whole idea of how "intelligent" she was, where did that come from? She didn't seem to exhibit it in any way, did she have a lot of degrees or something? A person of her privilege surely would have had easy access to education so I don't think qualifications would be synonymous with a higher intellect.

My mother is a Narc, I used to have to reaffirm how much smarter she was than everyone... thing is... she wasn't really that intelligent at all, if anything she struggled with basics and really drilled into me how stupid I was (for fear I was actually smarter than her I think).

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my parents are very narcissistic as a minimum, and I truly believe they have Narcissism, though will never likely be diagnosed. It manifests in different ways with my parents than Paula, but I see a lot of recurring themes - the need to soothe that ego, the selfishness and lack of empathy, the facade they put on.

I had a shortish career in law enforcement and to the shock of no one - there are a lot of narcs engaging in criminality

it’s like growing up with narcs gives you a bit of a radar for them, and then working/being exposed to them fine tunes it.

a friend of mine has a deeply narcissist mother and it’s fucked up her life completely. Her mother’s behaviour is VERY similar to PY. I’ll refer to her as FM;
• she had an abusive childhood. My friend hasn’t gone into details
• she is obsessed - and I do mean obsessed - with men.
• from a young age, FM has sought the approval of “high value” men. She has dated high achievers including affairs with senior bosses at her work.
• FM married my friends dad but continued to engage in extra marital affairs. Friends dad is a quiet type and it has slowly destroyed him over the years.
• FM has substance abuse problems
• FM presents herself to strangers as a charming and flirty woman, but behind closed doors she’s cruel to my friend and the family home is an absolute rubbish tip.
• FM has to be the centre of attention, always. Especially if there are men in the room. She will talk about her modelling career, her dancing career (all exaggerated). She will talk about herself as long as anyone will listen.

my friend is a nice woman but because she’s witnessed her mothers behaviour (towards men in particular) my friend has copied this without really being aware of it. She always, always puts men first. She is kind and empathetic unlike her mother, but she’s subconsciously absorbed the belief that she needs to have male approval. She is overtly sexual and flirty with any man she meets. She’s been in a series of shitty relationships because seeking approval matters more than seeking respect. It’s tragic. she knows her mum is fucked up but she’s had it so deeply instilled into her to be like her mum that is difficult for her to break out of that mindset.

a bit of a spiel but explains potentially why Peaches went down such a similar route as Paula (from my perspective anyway). Narcissists/narcissistic people cause so much harm. They are missing that something that makes people human, and are like a black out that just suck energy, time, money, joy out of everyone around them even if they don’t mean to.

Tangent Tiger said:

I don't understand that about the money, perhaps it's a false trail to stop public interest? Or did it all go on legal bills or people siphoning it off?

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His accountants had spread it all around in trusts to avoid tax. He had properties he lived in etc but all bought via the trust so none in his name. The trust system is so complex his family never managed to track them down and claim anything, and even if they tried it wasn’t in MH name.

There was an article on kent online recently and someone commented one of the kids stole something from a stall at a school fete when with Paula..!

FrostyChops said:

There was an article on kent online recently and someone commented one of the kids stole something from a stall at a school fete when with Paula..!

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Oh FFS that’s just so petty to comment something like that.

Seriously someone needs to get a fucking life if they think a child swiping something shit from a stall at a school fair 20 or so years ago warrants a public outcry.

IdeletedbutI'mbackagain said:

Fucking idiot's they are so lucky they didn't kill their child. How exactly is Paula thought of as intelligent?? On what grounds? Cause that's just dumb as fuck.

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I think she was more vivacious than intelligent.

Solpaqueen said:

I don’t think Paula was a good mum, she probably wanted to be one hence the books and fake family life. Some tea, my Godfather knew her slightly and couldn’t stand her. I have put this on another thread some time ago but couldn’t find it different name. This was in the 80s my godfather was good friends with John Galliano who was seeing Jasper Conran and they were in his company I think it was his studio and they heard a lot of noise and a child screeching mucking around then they heard a woman screaming and shouting swearing and a really hard slap the sort that echos around a room. He said he and John were doing all those OMG faces and sniggering about it being young - then Paula Yates came into view with one of her girls. But he said it occurred to him much later in life that the little girl hadn’t cried despite that slap must have really hurt. Imagine hitting a child like that all the time painting a picture of domestic bliss.
he also said he’d heard that Paula didn’t like Peaches and never took to her and was always very hard on her she sacked a nanny that Peaches loved and slept with.

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Siobhan Fahey was another one fond of slapping her child like that.

Tangent Tiger said:

I don't understand that about the money, perhaps it's a false trail to stop public interest? Or did it all go on legal bills or people siphoning it off?

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Vehy curious about that too. How does almost 40 mil just disappear (disappear, disappear). Couldn’t resist.

Seriously, that’s another mystery in itself.

SkippyDoo said:

I don’t get the impression Paula was a good mum either unfortunately. She was consumed by her media work, her relationships with men and then by substances.

I’m an alcoholic attempting to recover and I understand addiction problems, but then I am not a mum and don’t put kids through that. There is no hierarchy in addiction etc but honestly, I do think putting kids at risk is another level.

Ultimately, Paula and Peaches both overdosed on heroin in the presence of their young children and even with a lot of sympathy (and empathy) for substance abuse issues, and appreciating the compulsion that drives me to self-destruction quite often, that is nevertheless a certain level of extremely selfish. I am sure it wasn’t the only example of selfish behaviour by Paula. If I think of, say, Hayden Panettierre — she has had problems with addiction and her mental health and she took the decision to let the father of her child have primary custody. Some might consider that selfish (to not want to try to keep her child) but I don’t, she made the right decision IMO and stopped exposing the kid to things she shouldn’t see.

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Best of luck on your road to recovery

PeteM said:

Siobhan Fahey was another one fond of slapping her child like that.

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Good god what is wrong with these women?

IdeletedbutI'mbackagain said:

Paula was never on my radar, I was too young at her height of fame, but from everything I have read about her this is what shines through. She was incredibly selfish, which is fine, some people are just wired that way but selfish people shouldn't have children or at least keep having children. She choose to have 4 that she didn't seem to have any interest in mothering properly.

I do feel like she looked on MH as a prize and I feel her inability to accept his suicide (which is what his death is reported as in every article I read and even in the 2019 Mystify documentary) seems more about her bruised ego than anything else. Which is just horrific to me, that she tried to change the narrative of his death to make herself feel better

She obviously had a shit childhood but she then went on to do the same to her daughters. Poor Peaches never had a chance.

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My partner and I had difficult childhoods too (like many people on here I'm sure). My partner especially - his dad was a drunken, violent, brute who rarely showed affection. But we both decided we never wanted our children to feel as we did. So yes it's hard to justify what Paula Yates put her kids through.

I can't stand people who blame how they are on their childhood but don't even try to modify their harmful behaviour. It's not an excuse - you don't have to expose your children to the same trauma.