Why are you so invested in this story anyway? Others are perfectly entitled to think it’s squicky. In the wider context of their relationship where she increasingly felt insecure with him due to his wandering eye and practical sex addiction, I just dont get good vibes from this story. Paula was always boasting about Michaels sexual prowess to other women, I’ve read agars book too and it just smacks of desperation to me. She was dangerously obsessed with him and used sex to keep him. Disagree all you want I really don’t give a tit about the “sex positive” brigadeI know, woman wants to make love and thinks she can't because she has an infection. Man offers her options which she is overjoyed at and does willingly and enjoys, so much so that she tells her friend how amazing it was and how happy she is. 20 years later idiots think they know better than said woman and make it something dirty and say she must have been forced into it.
This makes a mockery and is very damaging, because you are actually saying you know better than someone as to what she likes and enjoys. I hope you don't disbelieve people who open up to you in real life, I find these thought patterns worrying, especially in this day and age. If a woman speaks her truth, whether you like it or not, that's her truth. To question the word of a woman no longer able to speak her truth is way more worrying than Michael offering her alternatives should she so wish.
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Are you talking to yourself, I never said anything directly to you and I'm really not beige. I've done a lot of things that would probably make people blush. The truth is anatomy and physiology if you get horny the blood rushes to the genitals that's what happens which can be uncomfortable when you have an infection. You can orgasm from your breasts being stimulated but the blood WILL still rush to your genitals . Have you ever dated a Micheal ? I have and I did things that I thought at the time I really really wanted. Later on digging deep I realised I did things more for him sometimes. I wanted to be the most horny sexual person and someone who couldn't be compared. I was scared he would go elsewhere .Oh dear, there really are some very beige people on here, maybe this isn't the thread for you? YOU might not want rimming. That doesn't mean that applies to every other person in the world ever
I don't do that anymore , pleasure is a two way street if I'm not up for it or I have an infection . I don't.
I couldn't give a tit if pearl clutchers find it icky. Paula didn't. She said she enjoyed it and it made her feel safe, sexy, loved and fulfilled. I'm not talking about later in the relationship. This was early on. This is her truth and you have no right to say you know her mind better than she did. Just because you, and others, are so vanilla you can't comprehend a woman enjoying anything other than missionary. I'm guessing I'm arguing with older folk. I'm in my 40s myself but have always had a progressive attitude to sex, luckily, so do Gen Z so hopefully these archaic views of a woman's sexual enjoyment of anything but vanilla sex will die out in time.
Mod edit. Just tacking onto this post to ask that the discussion between posters stays respectful to each other. Thank you.
I'm in my 20s
. Nowt wrong with vanilla or kink in the context of a healthy relationship theres wasn't.You guess wrong.
I find it very odd that you are being so aggressive over this. You believe that story as it was told in the book, others question it and are entitled to do so without you making weird accusations about their own personal lives.
I find it very odd that you are being so aggressive over this. You believe that story as it was told in the book, others question it and are entitled to do so without you making weird accusations about their own personal lives.
Not fussed how old you are but I do think you've got sexual and emotional issues that you're projecting onto others.
Also, if you think rimming is sexually adventurous, again, bless. You've got a long and wonderful journey of exploration ahead of you. Now off you trot, best get started.
Also, if you think rimming is sexually adventurous, again, bless. You've got a long and wonderful journey of exploration ahead of you. Now off you trot, best get started.
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Lol I’m actually 33 but thanks.
Paula said a lot of things about Michael which were probably a hell of a lot more to do with her own mid life crisis and deep insecurities . Just to remind we are on a thread about Paula’s daughter who OD’d in the same way as her poor mother. I don’t romanticise any aspect of the toxic background of that situation.
Too soon for a ‘lil group hug?? 
Not me that thinks rimming is anything other than standard.
It's others who can't get their head around anything other than vaginal sex, if a woman does anything else she must be being forced and not enjoying it 
. I completely agree that folk need to go on journeys of sexual exploration, I feel so sorry for them.
I do
Sounds horrible.I think Paula was completely in thrall to Michael. I don't personally find him that attractive, I couldn't be bothered with a lothario. Too much bloody effort to keep him happy. When he was older and craggier and just keen on pottering around the house I might have given him a chance
The Gerry Agar thing is interesting. I really liked the book but as others here have said she is a bit of a strange one. A bit like the Judi Dench character in Notes on a Scandal. Standing in the sidelines watching and observing a doomed relationship ready to pounce in.
Each to their own re rimming. Lots of women (and men!) enjoy it, lots don't. It's just the insinuation that Paula must have been forced into it and can't have done it willingly and enjoyed it that grinds my gears. Myself and my partners, current and past, do stuff like that all the time, and enjoy it, all genders.I do
I think Paula was completely in thrall to Michael. I don't personally find him that attractive, I couldn't be bothered with a lothario. Too much bloody effort to keep him happy. When he was older and craggier and just keen on pottering around the house I might have given him a chance
The Gerry Agar thing is interesting. I really liked the book but as others here have said she is a bit of a strange one. A bit like the Judi Dench character in Notes on a Scandal. Standing in the sidelines watching and observing a doomed relationship ready to pounce in.
I do agree re Gerry Agar. I think she was a scorned woman with a score to settle. However that anecdote was a positive one and was complimentary to both Paula and Michael. Maybe how I described it did it a disservice but that sexual occasion was consensual, mutual and loving. It was early on in the relationship. That's not to say that was the case for all and every future sexual occasion between them. I just don't like people putting their beliefs and preferences over the truth and preferences of a dead woman, just because she enjoyed sexual practices that they wouldn't. It's misogynistic and arrogant beyond belief.
I think someone needs to be done when it comes to educating girls about sex and bodily boundaries if “vanilla” is seen as the most tragic and pathetic thing you can be 
It’s no doubt a discussion for another thread but I’m not comfortable with the normalisation of extreme (and sometimes dangerous) sex acts at all.
It’s no doubt a discussion for another thread but I’m not comfortable with the normalisation of extreme (and sometimes dangerous) sex acts at all.
Maybe there needs to be a Paula/Michael thread…
Flipping norah! You go away for a few days, come back and it's all kicking off about somebody having their bum bum licked!
What I want to know is do you do it with or without the coke?
What I want to know is do you do it with or without the coke?
100% agree with this. Boundaries of any kind are completely fine.I think someone needs to be done when it comes to educating girls about sex and bodily boundaries if “vanilla” is seen as the most tragic and pathetic thing you can be
It’s no doubt a discussion for another thread but I’m not comfortable with the normalisation of extreme (and sometimes dangerous) sex acts at all.
The OP of this thread mentions Paula so I don’t see the problem tbh. And, putting it bluntly, everyone is deceased so this chat isn’t exactly taking the thread off topic that much. What I do find weird is the way this thread was totally derailed by someone flexing about how sexually adventurous they areMaybe there needs to be a Paula/Michael thread…
Or a rimming threadMaybe there needs to be a Paula/Michael thread…
That’s exactly the vibe I get from her!I do
I think Paula was completely in thrall to Michael. I don't personally find him that attractive, I couldn't be bothered with a lothario. Too much bloody effort to keep him happy. When he was older and craggier and just keen on pottering around the house I might have given him a chance
The Gerry Agar thing is interesting. I really liked the book but as others here have said she is a bit of a strange one. A bit like the Judi Dench character in Notes on a Scandal. Standing in the sidelines watching and observing a doomed relationship ready to pounce in.
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