TW for drug abuse.
I've spent the better part of the day reading through these threads. Like so many other here, I was so heartbroken when Peaches died. I'm not from the UK so I didn't even have that link to her, but the idea of a young mom dying due to her addictions alone with her baby is so disturbing. I actually thought of her and googled her again maybe a week before stumbling upon this thread today. Her little family really looked like a dream! I was also so fascinated by the Geldofs and their crazy names as a kid.
Part of the reason why I was so disturbed is because I can relate a lot to Peaches. My parents were heroin addicts - it was a strange childhood. My father had a pretty good job and we'd oscillate between him having his shit together and us living in nice houses for a year, to him going on heroin binges and not showing up for work, us moving into severely crappy apartments, etc, etc, etc... It was difficult for a child to understand. I was really spoiled materially (my father bought me a present every day after work for years), and I was the first at my school to get an iPhone, etc, so I never quite managed to bridge the idea of having so many nice things and then ending up in rotten apartments every few years.
Anyway. I lost my mom at 15 and my father 11 months later. (My dad suffered brain trauma after 7 heroin overdoses over the course of 6 months however, and became a total monster. Losing him was a blessing.) I don't think I can quite describe that level of emotional pain, and it never really goes away. Missing my mom honestly just gets worse the older I get. I think Peaches had it the same way and I feel deeply for her... I also understand the lure of heroin. I've done a lot of partying in my day, and tried pretty much every drug under the sun apart from heroin.
"Connecting" with my dead mom, to me, has become reading the books she'd read to me when I was little or I'd read when she was still alive or watch the movies we watched together. It has become detective work into her past. I have, however, given a great deal of thought into trying heroin because I want to connect TO HER. I want to know what doing heroin was like and understand that part of her. It's been over 10 years and missing her is still a daily ache.
If I was offered heroin in a clean environment where I could smoke it... I am honest enough with myself to say I'd do it because I want to feel closer to my mom. If told I had 6 months left to live, I'd definitely do heroin. I am not about to go out and buy it from some street dealer though. This is not a decision at the forefront of my mind that I am toying with right now, just to make that clear. It's just something I've accepted that I'll very well do some day simply because I miss my mom so horribly.
If Peaches was clean for a while and posted that picture of her mom and then ODed that night, I can easily see her wanting to connect with her dead mother as well, and it just going terribly wrong. I bet she was feeling really sad. My heart bleeds for her and the whole situation more so than her sons and husband, and I know 100% that that's my bias showing. I just can't fault her for it even if it was 100% her own decision that caused so many people horrible pain. (I also definitely do feel for her sons and husband though, just to make that clear. I so, so wish Peaches was still around.)
On a lighter note, I actually don't think she had a lot of facial plastic surgery. I think she lost a lot of weight, got large veneers and had a buccal fat removal. I also think she had a botox brow lift and lip fillers. Actually not a lot by today's celebrity standard tbh, though I do agree there is a huge difference between "chunky party girl" Peaches and "ethereally beautiful" Peaches.
, but he imo did the best with the shitty hands he was dealt.
