I’m so glad I’ve had a replyI’m new to tattle bur really relate to this. My daughter is non verbal so she’s always lashing out. Mainly in frustration. Which I understand as she tries to communicate and nobody can understand her. So I understand the frustration. But it doesn’t make it any easier.
My son is 4.5, he is verbal. It’s just constant every single day and we have little to no support with him. My husband and I are usually on the same page and it doesn’t affect us but it has started to cause arguments between us now. We have been declined direct payments because apparently he is not disabledHow old is your little boy? My son is 8 and nonverbal. It's so hard sometimes xx
We went for many many years without support, last year we got a disability social worker and there are some things in place now. He is at a special school too, which is a huge source of support xMy son is 4.5, he is verbal. It’s just constant every single day and we have little to no support with him. My husband and I are usually on the same page and it doesn’t affect us but it has started to cause arguments between us now. We have been declined direct payments because apparently he is not disabled. Do you get much support? Xx
Yes, things have only really started to improve in the last year or so. His communication is nearly zero still, but the understanding is coming on a bit which has lessened his frustration so much!Do you guys have support in helping your children communicate? I only ask as if you are aware that is what is causing issues, hopefully if you had support in assisting communication it would reduce frustration?
Do you have access to visuals or alternative communication methods? Would he be able to understand/use Signalong or Makaton?We went for many many years without support, last year we got a disability social worker and there are some things in place now. He is at a special school too, which is a huge source of support x
Yes, things have only really started to improve in the last year or so. His communication is nearly zero still, but the understanding is coming on a bit which has lessened his frustration so much!
He is starting inde specialist in September I’m hoping that’s going to bring him on loads. We just really need some respiteWe went for many many years without support, last year we got a disability social worker and there are some things in place now. He is at a special school too, which is a huge source of support x
Yes, things have only really started to improve in the last year or so. His communication is nearly zero still, but the understanding is coming on a bit which has lessened his frustration so much!
it’s so exhausting isn’t. Keep fighting for the ehcp and the specialist placement. I had to go all the way to appeal to get our chosen school but I got there in the end. My local SENDIASS supported me through the whole process I’d definitely recommend getting in touch with your local service if you haven’t alreadyThree of mine are autistic. Two of them have ADHD as well. My 12 yr old is extremely hard to handle at the moment. School refusal, rudeness, oppositional behaviour, swearing, smashing things in meltdown, doesn't sleep and has been violent to me and his siblings. I'm desperately trying to secure him an EHCP and a place at a specialist school. The future currently seems quite bleak if I'm honest.
I look at families enjoying peaceful, fun days out together and wish my family could have that. The last day out we had ended with my child using the worst language possible at the top of his voice and the first day of our most recent holiday he punched a hole in the caravan wall during a meltdown. I feel so desperately sad for his siblings having to experience this and sad for him because he's so anxious a lot of the time. He can't be enjoying life either.
My eldest is an adult now but he had huge difficulties with anger management throughout his life (but without the oppositional behaviour, school refusal and rudeness. He just had a lot of extreme meltdowns). I didn't ever expect to have to go through it all again but worse. I was a teenage mum so have spent my entire adult life dealing with this stuff and although obviously having children was my choice and I love them dearly, I'm just so sick of the relentless struggle and wonder if there's ever going to be any enjoyment in life.
Sorry for the pity party. It's hard to talk about this stuff to people in real life as I find a lot of people don't fully understand it.
Does you son go to nursery? They can refer to paediatrician or your gp/health visitor. My son was referred by the health visitor after his 2 year check up as he was non verbal and showing autistic traits.Hiya, wondering if this might be the best thread for this. My 4yo has started lashing out completely, hitting, kicking, biting. He’s like a catalyst and is so easily triggered (we asked him to have a bath yesterday and he bit my partner so hard it drew blood and kept going for him again and again until we placed him in the bath) and just small things like that. Once he starts he finds it extremely hard to regulate even though we are calm and talk him through it and have never lashed out back when he’s really hurt us/his brother. He’s verbal and has always been a brilliant talker so I’m trying to work out where this has come from. I would expect this maybe from a 2 year old with no communication skills but he never did it at that age and it’s all coming out now which makes me wonder if something else might be going on. He also has a few other things that I think might point to ASD/ADHD but I’ll save that for now.
My partner has ADHD and said this how my son behaves is how his own adhd became apparent and started the diagnosis process. His has been extremely mismanaged his entire life and it’s had some huge consequences so I really don’t want this for my boy. Where did people seek help in the first instance? Thanks.
Yes he goes to nursery, they’ve been a bit shit really as whenever I’ve raised concerns they always say he’s very laid back, never ever kicks off, will happily communicate all of his needs etc which makes me think he’s masking potentially as he’s a totally different child at home and not in the “you left me so I’m punishing you” sense like you’d expect..which is also the same as my partner at that age according to his mum. They did say he’s a very independent player though and prefers to play alone than with others. I think I may raise it again with them when we go back after half term as its getting really quite bad at home. He does have enlarged ventricles in his brain which is a hard marker for autism so ill raise it with nursery if not I think I’ll go to the GP. Thank you for your reply xxDoes you son go to nursery? They can refer to paediatrician or your gp/health visitor. My son was referred by the health visitor after his 2 year check up as he was non verbal and showing autistic traits.
He is probably definitely masking in nursery. Write everything down and call a meeting with the nursery with your concerns and push and push for referrals. It’s such a long process. We started to raise concerns with my sons nursery around 18m, pushed for referrals at around 2 and applied for EHCP, EHCP awarded at age 3 but was shit, diagnosed age 4 and headed towards tribunal to make his EHCP water tight and and asked for independent specialist. LA conceded just before tribunal and we got what we want. That was a long battle but not half as long as what some other parents go through. Deffo no harm in pushing and asking for referrals now. If you want any advice I don’t mind at all we’ve been through so much already so feel like I’ve got quite a lot of knowledge to share when it comes to EHCP, referrals and diagnosis xxYes he goes to nursery, they’ve been a bit shit really as whenever I’ve raised concerns they always say he’s very laid back, never ever kicks off, will happily communicate all of his needs etc which makes me think he’s masking potentially as he’s a totally different child at home and not in the “you left me so I’m punishing you” sense like you’d expect..which is also the same as my partner at that age according to his mum. They did say he’s a very independent player though and prefers to play alone than with others. I think I may raise it again with them when we go back after half term as its getting really quite bad at home. He does have enlarged ventricles in his brain which is a hard marker for autism so ill raise it with nursery if not I think I’ll go to the GP. Thank you for your reply xx
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