Parenting Hell Podcast #3

[SheWereActuallyInCar]

I agree. She seems so oblivious to the fact that she does actually have choices. Her financial position means she could pay for more childcare and household support. So that she doesn’t feel like she has to beg her mum for a night at the pub. Rob could take on less work so he could help out more. They could reduce the extra-curricular activities the children do. They don’t have to do the fancy birthday parties that cause stress. They could cut out the very fancy holidays to make some of these choices more possible and to free up time and money. If these choices don’t appeal to her, then she should accept the choices she has made.

It is also ridiculous to whine that she feels like people can’t be honest about how hard parenting is when her husband has a very successful and £ making podcast doing exactly that.
And if she doesn’t want to be known as only his wife, then don’t put in your blog bio “wife to Rob Beckett”.

She has so many choices available to her compared to millions of people (although I recognise the medical issues do limit some) and doesn’t seem to see this at all.

I haven't read the blog post, and maybe I should before commenting, but I could afford to pay for childcare while my husband works offshore for a month at a time, however that doesn't mean its the best choice for us all. I would love to have parents (on both sides) who would support us, but that is not the case. Sometimes being with your kids the whole time they aren't in school/nursery is the best option for everyone even if it takes a toll on the mother's mental health (and trust me, it really does )

 

[weeweegie]

I read Lou’s blog and felt she was showing her vulnerability and I think that takes some guts. I get the points about her privilege but I didn’t take it as whining. She’s been the default parent for 8 years and given up her career and suffered with her health. No matter how much money you have you can still find things tough. It’s far too easy to lose your identity when you become a mum, and although I can’t relate to having a famous and rich husband () I do relate to the feeling of losing yourself in motherhood and missing having something that is just yours and gives you a purpose outwith your husband and kids. I hope she secures a teaching job soon, she is still young and could have a long career ahead of her.

 

[foxwarren]

She went to see Beyonce in Amsterdam for a few days with her friends. After a week in New York with her friends. Went to the Brits. Regular weekends away. Went to Disney twice last year. Buys new outfits for the kids and puts them straight into suitcases. Has admitted she does not cook. Has a small family. Throws elaborate birthday parties for the kids. Yes, the parenting struggle is same but her down time and financial freedom is considerably different. My recuperation time is a drink alone in the local coffee shop, not a few days abroad with friends. This is not a working/non working parent argument, this is a rich versus not rich comparison of being the default parent. She has time to read!!!!! It reminds me of this from Salma Hayek. https://www.dailyedge.ie/salma-hayek-parenting-1376245-Mar2014/ yes, I said Id unwatch the thread, and I have, but so many people liked my post that I hope today Mothers’ day no one is feeling like rit because of her blog. Don’t assume Lou is ‘just like us’ default parents. She is not. Her car broke down last week; she could 1) call her father and 2) call out a mobile repair. These are both hugely fortunate positions to be in. I don’t think this is her place to step into. They as a couple need to reconcile themselves with their wealth and get on with it. Don’t get me wrong, I love to hear about their trips away. I love hearing about rich people doing things I can’t. I really do! But I hate hearing them moan about not being aloud shower alone. Book a trip away and get on with it.
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. I hope she secures a teaching job soon, she is still young and could have a long career ahead of her.

they are all going to Australia next year while he tours. She’s not going back to work.

 

[weeweegie]

I get everything you’re saying, I just don’t feel as strongly about it. I don’t follow Lou or generally know much about where they holiday or how often they go (although I’m obviously aware about all the Disney trips from the pod). I just read her blog because Rob shared it and thought that she was being quite honest about things she’s struggled with. Don’t think she was denying her privilege. Just my own opinion, doesn’t make me want to follow her and I’m not feeling super sorry for her, she obviously has a very nice life with massive perks most of us could only dream of.

 

[Affiliatemebaby]

I also don’t see her as someone who shouldn’t be able express how they feel (and surely many of us can call out a repair man under our AA cover or whatever?). That feeling of being a non-person when you’re at home with kids is horrible and I can imagine it being just as bad when your partner is famous as many people ‘disappear’ as individuals then even with their own jobs.

 

[Hinchhater1442]

Yes I didn’t read it as denying her privileges, but in spite of those, she still has the element of ‘asking permission’ as the default parent. Yes she has the privilege of the enhanced income to afford more ‘outside’ childcare but given the choice I’d still rather my husband/family look after my child. So she’s still in that same predicament most of us face of having to ask to go out like we’re 12 again whilst our husbands do what they like it’s ok to miss the days she could flit off on a girls weekend without having to ask anyone, our differences just lie in what we want that free time for I guess

 

[DrMeredithGrey]

I can see both points really.
For most mothers, the reason they aren’t flitting off on weekends away with their friends or whatever isn’t purely because they have to ‘ask for permission’
They have to factor in the financial aspect, and (I’m not making this non working vs working AT ALL) using annual leave etc. Both sets of parents do seem very on hand to help out - if all that was standing between me and some time to myself was simply asking I can’t say I’d be too upset.
She has a certain level of financial freedom, which does buy more ‘me time’ . Her days don’t have to be full of chores between school drop off and pick up, they could have a cleaner in a few times a week.
from the podcast Rob does seem to be involved in the morning rush, and then school drop offs/pick ups. I know plenty of mothers (myself included) whose partner is out of the house by 7am, leaving it all in their hands.
He doesn’t keep regular work hours, so on a weekly basis is probably more hands on than most dads are able to be.
She will have weeks during the year when he is working away and it all falls to her. Rob has said before that they always make sure that she gets time to do her own thing once he’s back though.
However, Lou is absolutely free to feel how she feels, and struggle with what she struggles with.
Some people are able to embrace the monotony of day to day parenting and running of the house. Others struggle. I wonder if her health gets to the point where she could take on a tutoring role or similar, she may feel more fulfilled.

 

[Tuliptulip]

I’ve thought about it some more and think I was actually reading it with too harsh a lens so it has been good to see other people’s opinions. I do agree that no matter how privileged she is, if she feels a certain way then that is still valid and think it was really brave to share a story about going for a job and not getting it.

 

[fleabagster]

I’m finding Rob a bit annoying recently - he talks all over Josh and whereas Josh is still politely laughing at and encouraging all Rob’s jokes, I can’t hear Rob doing the same. I wonder if it’s all going to Rob’s head (which would be understandable).

 

[weeweegie]

I’m finding Rob a bit annoying recently - he talks all over Josh and whereas Josh is still politely laughing at and encouraging all Rob’s jokes, I can’t hear Rob doing the same. I wonder if it’s all going to Rob’s head (which would be understandable).

Josh does have a laugh ready for anything that is said doesn’t he! Bless him. Rob gets overexcited quite a lot and generally just treats Josh as the butt of his jokes. I sometimes wonder if Josh minds.

 

[fleabagster]

I still love the pod but I had no interest in getting tickets to Rob’s stand up but I’m super excited about Josh’s. Maybe I’m just a Josh super fan.

 

[Marshallmum1982]

I still love the pod but I had no interest in getting tickets to Rob’s stand up but I’m super excited about Josh’s. Maybe I’m just a Josh super fan.

I'm the same! Love Rob on TV and the pod buy not fussed about seeing his stand up. Josh on the other hand, I've signed up to the mailing list as I don't want to miss out!

 

[frillylilly]

Ages ago Josh mentioned recording a gig (he got food poisoning before it and was worried about losing money) - have i totally missed that being released?

 

[Potatopatato]

I’m finding Rob a bit annoying recently - he talks all over Josh and whereas Josh is still politely laughing at and encouraging all Rob’s jokes, I can’t hear Rob doing the same. I wonder if it’s all going to Rob’s head (which would be understandable).

He's always been bad at interrupting but the last few weeks whenever josh starts telling a story, rob just goes on and on and then josh doesn't bother picking the story back up.

If you still read Lou, can you tell your husband that as much as we like hearing what he's been up to, it'd also be nice to hear from the other one as well.

 

[clmay]

I think Rob’s been doing so well and might be slightly overexposed at the moment. There’s also a tipping point where people seem to want people (particularly people from working class backgrounds) to do well but not TOO well. I don’t feel that way. Go get it Rob! Make as much as you can. Why not. Not everyone had to like it.

However on the talking over Josh- I actually do agree with this. I feel like there’s been a bit of a lack of Josh on the pod recently. I was listening the other day and was thinking I’m not sure he’s fully engaged in it anymore

 

[Affiliatemebaby]

Ages ago Josh mentioned recording a gig (he got food poisoning before it and was worried about losing money) - have i totally missed that being released?

It’s been out for years. Can’t remember where I watched it - might have been Channel 4?
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I looked it up. It was called A Bit Much, released in 2022. It’s not on C4 anymore but might be on another platform now?

 

[FagAshLil69]

I agree, all Rob seems to do is interrupt. Whenever Josh is telling a story, Rob buts in and turns the conversation around to him. It's putting me off the podcast.

 

[welshgirl2021]

He's always been bad at interrupting but the last few weeks whenever josh starts telling a story, rob just goes on and on and then josh doesn't bother picking the story back up.

If you still read Lou, can you tell your husband that as much as we like hearing what he's been up to, it'd also be nice to hear from the other one as well.

My tuppence worth on this …I feel like R doesn’t know when to stop with micky taking eg the Rose in Cornwall/not at home thing is done!

When he said this week about world book day and J going to Mayfair for a meal Josh did stick up for himself which was good to hear.

Unfortunately it’s Rob way or the highway

 

[MissTeddy]

Rob clearly massively disapproves of the amount of time Rose is spending in Cornwall. He seemed incredulous that she had gone during half term.

 

[isthisusernametaken]

My tuppence worth on this …I feel like R doesn’t know when to stop with micky taking eg the Rose in Cornwall/not at home thing is done!

To be fair I still find this very funny