I believe that her parents are so young that they aren’t actually retired so I guess that’s why they can’t help. But I think she’s been naive to think that there would be after school club spaces. My daughter went onto the waiting list at 3 for going into P1 at 5 and we aren’t at the school, have to schlep elsewhere to get her - and that’s fine, we make it work! I think she needs to be prepared to offer her full flexibility - if that’s not working completely full time or working early mornings etc. then that’s just what you have to do! I think being out of the workplace for 6 years means she’s remembering a culture that doesn’t really exist anymore. And her husband is probably just agreeing with her because he doesn’t want things to change - regardless of how clearly miserable and lonely she is.
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Ah ok, i thought she’s mentioned before that they were retired? My mistake!!!
she just needs to be realistic about what she can and cant commit to. She could try for a part time position working mornings/early afternoons? Yes its not going to pay aswell and she is probably going to have to start with something more entry level but at least
its something. I don’t get the impression they are in a financial position where she NEEDS to start bringing in a full time high salary so why not looking for something a bit more suited to her current family timetable and then in a year or so see where they are with childcare??
and so also mentioned that they would be “sorted” for childcare during all the school holidays so that wasn’t an issue - so whos helping out there? Or what was her plan there? Thats about 12/13 weeks over the whole school year.
Yeah I wondered how the school holidays would be covered. I don't know why she's against a childminder, seems like it would make most sense but she said she's 'uncomfortable' with the idea 
, but yeah, a part time job to fit around kids for now would be a good start rather than all or nothing. She's acting like the after school club being full means that she can't work at all.
I don't really get why she feels so pissed off when she knew she was applying for a full time in-house role.
, but yeah, a part time job to fit around kids for now would be a good start rather than all or nothing. She's acting like the after school club being full means that she can't work at all.I don't really get why she feels so pissed off when she knew she was applying for a full time in-house role.
Maybe some of the family are teachers which would mean she could ask them during hols? Or holiday clubs tend to be a bit more flexible than ASC? Honestly think the childminder aversion is just a type of snobbery to be honest. On the whole she’s just been very naive in giving up work for so long with little understanding of how much “organisation” is takes to be working parents. Hope they realisation is starting to dawn a bit now…
Agree. She said she wants her youngest to be in a group of friends and be un a secure place - showing her lack of understanding there, loads of childminders look after multiple kids at one time and loads have outdoor space/indoor space - its not like some random babysitter! obviously you have to vet them and make sure you are comfortable but shes doing a bit of a disservice there to professional experienced childminders. And no mention of her eldest?! Wheres she meant to go?!
I feel really sorry for her, I don’t think she’s been naive at all, there should be flexibility in the workplace and wraparound childcare available so women can work if they want too. It’s a tit system! I think she obviously just really wanted this job and was trying to be positive about it!
Well yeah but, there isnt. No one is saying its not a tit system but its her reality at the moment- as it is for millions of us. There are childcare options that she wont entertain and her husband cant or wont be flexible in his job to help
accomodate her so thats the situation she finds herself which she KNEW when she applied.
Totally agree that it’s a tit system. 100% agree
I think she hit the nail on the head herself when she said that she didn’t get involved in discussions around lack of ASC because it didn’t affect her. The point being that if you don’t keep appraised of these things then you can’t rely on them. Hence why I said she’s been naive.
I do feel bad for the lack of flexibility in the workplace and as a manager I champion flexibility in my team. But I used a childminder for a year without being snooty about it.
I also feel sad for her that she’s quite clearly lost, lonely and disenfranchised, but I don’t think she properly considered the logistics of going back to work
I think she hit the nail on the head herself when she said that she didn’t get involved in discussions around lack of ASC because it didn’t affect her. The point being that if you don’t keep appraised of these things then you can’t rely on them. Hence why I said she’s been naive.
I do feel bad for the lack of flexibility in the workplace and as a manager I champion flexibility in my team. But I used a childminder for a year without being snooty about it.
I also feel sad for her that she’s quite clearly lost, lonely and disenfranchised, but I don’t think she properly considered the logistics of going back to work
I know but you can’t blame a girl for trying to break free can you
But as long as the narrative remains that this is a problem for working mums things won't change. I think it's really important to frame this in terms of working parents. What has her husband done to make it work? As long as women see this as their sole issue to work around they continue to talk themselves out of it. When have you ever heard a man referred to as a working dad?
In my view both parents need to work together to enable both of them to work and progress their careers. How about her husband drops down to 4 days a week and she also asks whether the role can be done 4 days a week. That way they could cover off the two afternoons quite easily.
In my view both parents need to work together to enable both of them to work and progress their careers. How about her husband drops down to 4 days a week and she also asks whether the role can be done 4 days a week. That way they could cover off the two afternoons quite easily.
In an ideal world that might work. But her husband currently works a full time job earning what would appear to be a very reasonable salary given the lifestyle they seem to have. Im not saying its not a wider issue or that its fair - but im just commenting on kelly and her situation as is right now. im sure there’s plenty of places to debate the ins and outs of the subject more generally but thats not what this thread is for.
Just found this thread, thank you for solving my mystery of the tit followitfindit page! I couldn't figure out how I'd ended up following it, I didn't realise it was organised motherhood. I never bothered following her new page so it's good to get an update. She was clearly unhappy with her life back then so it's a shame to see that hasn't really changed
Did she actually say she got the job? I thought her stories just said she had a 2nd interview with the boss, but thought it was basically in the bag. Feel like i have missed something.
Have to say i do think going from not working at all to working full time, with two young children, would be a HUGE adjustment. I work 3.5 days/week and i think going full time would really upset the balance we have. I don't think she ever had any intention of going full time.
Have to say i do think going from not working at all to working full time, with two young children, would be a HUGE adjustment. I work 3.5 days/week and i think going full time would really upset the balance we have. I don't think she ever had any intention of going full time.
No you havent missed anything. She is assuming shes got the job and that the “informal second interview/coffee with the “big boss” is just a formality…….. slightly presumptuous I think - i mean you might think it but saying it like that is a bit….. boastful, particularly when shes like “ive got it, its pretty much just a rubber stamp exercise now, and i AM over qualified“ - she is full of herself!!!!!
I actually think she applied for it just as a bit of fun, and now shes had an interview she actually does fancy it. I don’t think the childcare issue even really occurred to her.
I feel like she applied for it just so she couldn't make it work, and then had something to moan about/hold over her husband. She seems very unfulfilled.
Yes i know what you mean. Almost like she wanted an outside validation that unless he is willing to be more flexible then it will hinder her career aspirations. She is definitely the type to do that - she once spent her time typing out an invoice for her services as a wife/sahm and put monetary figures for what she does then gave it to him as a way of illustrating what he is “saving” by having her at home……. its all veryyyyyyy petty and she clearly has massive resentment issues that shes the sahp. her husband just sounds like a total dick so i dont blame her in some ways!!!
I think she just applied for a confidence boost tbh - she says she's going to 'take it as a compliment' and maybe look for something part time so not sure what's happened or if I've missed something - is she not going to the second interview? Maybe she did already go and they didn't offer it to her or maybe they replied to her email to say they couldn't change the role to fit her needs.
But I think she wanted to prove to herself that she could easily get back into work if she wanted to after a long break, but without the intention of actually returning to work full time. When she had a successful interview she actually considered it and got her hopes up that they'd be able to accommodate her requests re working hours/wfh.
She says she's maybe going to look for something else part time now but I think she'll just carry on staying at home and being resentful and in another few months repeat the application/complaining process. I'm sure she applied for a job about a year ago and wasn't successful so she was like 'oh well, not meant to be, I can't work anyway cos stuff with the kids always comes up' and just didn't apply for anything else because she didn't get that job.
But I think she wanted to prove to herself that she could easily get back into work if she wanted to after a long break, but without the intention of actually returning to work full time. When she had a successful interview she actually considered it and got her hopes up that they'd be able to accommodate her requests re working hours/wfh.
She says she's maybe going to look for something else part time now but I think she'll just carry on staying at home and being resentful and in another few months repeat the application/complaining process. I'm sure she applied for a job about a year ago and wasn't successful so she was like 'oh well, not meant to be, I can't work anyway cos stuff with the kids always comes up' and just didn't apply for anything else because she didn't get that job.
From what shes said this afternoon i get the impression that shes spoken to them today, explained the situation and has told them she can’t do it and backed out completely. Shes also saying shes now got something else up her sleeve
