One Day Of Winter #5 Bathroom locked, lentil slop, favouritism has to stop.

[RLdeletedme]

She annoys me so much. Boob is not a verb.

The only reason you are using boob as a verb is because you're absolutely desperate to let everyone know that you're breastfeeding, so can't possibly say that you "fed" the baby to sleep. Ohhh no, you HAVE to have "boobed" the baby. twit.

Everyone knows you're breastfeeding, Nicola. Can't miss those giant sausage nipples. You can say you fed the baby like a normal human being.

 

[Meringue22]

She enjoyed THE BABY today She’s so odd. Why not use her name?!

 

[DiscoBiscuit]

Referring to "Dad's bed." So poor Dean has been permanently relegated to the spare room then?

Raven is 4 in the next few weeks. That's old enough to be taught that sometimes she will have to wait for her Mum's attention because Ember can't. Regardless of who's sleeping where, she should be able to say to Raven "Mummy needs to see to Ember, please sit quietly and wait, I'll be back soon." She could leave her with a book or a quiet activity if she thinks she'll be away a bit longer.

Either Raven's behaviour is so bad that she can't be left alone without a massive paddy, or Nicola simply doesn't want to accept that Raven could settle without her. I think she doesn't want to leave Raven to read to herself for 10 minutes while she settles Ember, because she's scared that she'll come back and find she's just gone to sleep on her own, without being "boobed" ()

 

[TheLastLolo]

She still kisses Ember like it's an obligation rather than a want. She averts her eyes everytime and looks like she's licking a toilet seat for a dare.

 

[SilverSpoonNotIncluded]

Awkward kiss for Ember, very weird.

So Raven is ready for bed and ember is asleep - put the baby down?!

 

[Cubalibra]

For duck sake- I mean how is that a solution? Locking the baby away from Raven so Raven can have uninterrupted play? I wonder what goes on in that head of hers.

 

[FraggleRock]

For duck sake- I mean how is that a solution? Locking the baby away from Raven so Raven can have uninterrupted play? I wonder what goes on in that head of hers.

Ember has nearly mastered crawling at 4 months old! Ok Pea
Clearly another case of her making out her kids are more ‘advanced’ than everyone else’s. The way she goes on about R’s speech being advanced - I can’t make out what Raven says half the time, she’s not very clear for a 4 year old

 

[barrrlohflaughs]

Ember has nearly mastered crawling at 4 months old! Ok Pea
Clearly another case of her making out her kids are more ‘advanced’ than everyone else’s. The way she goes on about R’s speech being advanced - I can’t make out what Raven says half the time, she’s not very clear for a 4 year old

Yeah I’m not buying this. Plus, she had E before I had my baby and mine is already 5 months old

I’m glad someone had commented on her post saying that by locking them away from each other she’s going to cause issues down the line so maybe teaching the 4 year old how to share is the way to go. But as usual you can tell she’s not going to take this advice

 

[FraggleRock]

Yeah I’m not buying this. Plus, she had E before I had my baby and mine is already 5 months old

I’m glad someone had commented on her post saying that by locking them away from each other she’s going to cause issues down the line so maybe teaching the 4 year old how to share is the way to go. But as usual you can tell she’s not going to take this advice

Yeah I think she’s an absolute billy bullshitter

I absolutely agree, she will do anything to avoid Damien being upset, and that includes locking her and the baby away, why not teach R how to handle her feelings and how to be around her sister instead of creating a divide - quite literally between them, how is that going to help. It’s like she’s pussyfooting around a bloody 3 year old, desperate not to set her off on another mega tantrum, she’s turning R into an absolute brat, just tell her straight out, she has to deal with Ember being around, and any aggression towards anyone because she can’t handle it, won’t be tolerated. Pea doesn’t seem to realise or care that shes the cause of R’s resentment of the baby, and because of this intent to coddle R, she’s stopping her from fully accepting that Ember is a part of their lives now, and R needs to accept that, she needs to share, that’s what all siblings do.

I don’t know why she bothers putting advice posts up, it’s clear she doesn’t want any and just wants someone to validate her ideas, even if they are tit ideas. She just has no idea how to parent at all.

 

[sunchaser19]

It’s the way she says “is that gentle?” Who’s approval are you seeking? Is there a gentle God or master that must approve all of their “gentle” actions??
What is she going to do with Ember whilst she “homeschools” Raven? Put a stair gate between them and sit in the middle? She’s insane. Makes life SO much harder than it ever needs to be.
She really wants to make life”gentle” for Raven, at the detriment of poor Ember!

 

[ceecee454]

Yeah I’m not buying this. Plus, she had E before I had my baby and mine is already 5 months old

yes she had her at the start of feb, maybe she’ll be on that same thing as she’s on with raven trying to make out she’s younger than she is forever so she seems
more ahead when she’s actually just doing the same as everyone else’s kid

 

[SilverSpoonNotIncluded]

I can appreciate sometimes helping an older child have their space and toys protected, especially if they’ve been working on a puzzle or a project for a while. But daily? Separating them so R never has to deal with her younger sibling?! Come on! What the duck! Pea you must know that’s just not the solution. How is Raven ever going to survive in the world if her mum is afraid for her to feel normal feelings?

Also, like absolute duck is E crawling at 5 months she can barely probably bloody sit up!

 

[ceecee454]

It’s the way she says “is that gentle?” Who’s approval are you seeking? Is there a gentle God or master that must approve all of their “gentle” actions??
What is she going to do with Ember whilst she “homeschools” Raven? Put a stair gate between them and sit in the middle? She’s insane. Makes life SO much harder than it ever needs to be.
She really wants to make life”gentle” for Raven, at the detriment of poor Ember!

yes this!! she’s constantly seeking validation that she’s being the most gentle, i’ve seen people call her in that group for being permissive and she just ignores it and comes back with a similar needing advice but not willing to take it scenario a month or so
later don’t get it.
why does it matter what other people
think of your parenting? is it working for your family? if yes continue if no which it clearly ain’t mix it up

 

[SarcasticEllis]

Ember has nearly mastered crawling at 4 months old! Ok Pea
Clearly another case of her making out her kids are more ‘advanced’ than everyone else’s. The way she goes on about R’s speech being advanced - I can’t make out what Raven says half the time, she’s not very clear for a 4 year old

I would bet it’s not about Ember crawling but becoming even slightly mobile or rolling over - and not being able to set her down in ‘Ravens space’ to play altogether because Raven will kick off at the baby

 

[DiscoBiscuit]

She's setting both those kids up for a difficult life. How does she expect them to fit into society, and interact with other humans when she won't even let them interact with each other properly?

These situations are exactly how kids learn life skills. Raven sets up a game, Ember attempts to grab at something, Raven doesn't like it. At this point Nicola would intervene. Tell Ember no and direct her attention to another toy, explain to Raven that Ember is only a baby and she doesn't understand. Then as they get older, teach them how to share and play together.

And as for "is this gentle?" Who cares? Like someone else said, do what works for you, not what's acceptable to others. Surely it's more important that your kids learn life skills and feel equally loved, than whether your parenting is meeting someone else's expectations?

 

[maytoseptember]

I’m starting to think that Pea’s interpretation of “gentle” is “never allowing Raven to feel negative emotions”.

When she talks about nursery not being “gentle”, for example, that’s what she means. She can’t see the wood for the trees anymore. Someone needs to have a word with her because she honestly seems to have lost her grip on reality.

I did misread the screenshot though, because I thought she said “bathroom” not “playroom”, and had visions of Raven playing with bricks and blocks in the bathroom while Ember looked on through the stairgate

 

[Gossngiggles]

There is a difference between gentle and permissive parenting and I think that is what she and others on that group struggle with.
Those groups are unhealthy places to be, it doesn’t matter if it’s gentle parenting or Gina Ford groups, they are all full of mums(it’s hardly ever dads!) worrying about getting it right.

 

[maytoseptember]

My eldest child is nearly 10 and I’ve come to realise that ALL parenting groups are inherently unhealthy places to be, but the crunchy/fringe groups are the worst. Yes, you desperately need support in the early days, but the trade off is toxicity - always being held to unattainably high standards by women (and it’s only ever women - men simply don’t need to seek validation in the same way) who just want to feel better about themselves and their own choices.

 

[sassmaster3000]

Is there a gentle God or master that must approve all of their “gentle” actions??

Yes, her name is Sarah cockwell smith. That Facebook group is like a pissing pyramid scheme for gentle parenting - every gentle (permissive) act gets you a level closer to the ultimate gentle boss, Sarah (who has, on multiple occasions, absolutely slammed mothers for not being gentle enough - not very gentle of you yourself eh Sarah?).

There’s some women on there with real, genuine parenting concerns - how to gently explain to their kids that they’re getting a divorce/their gran has died etc, and then you’ve got complete knobheads like Nicola harping on about segregating her children so that Damien can do yet another cbeebies activity book without feeling like she’s not an only child anymore. Give over. Get a bloody grip. Ugh.

 

[FraggleRock]

I’m starting to think that Pea’s interpretation of “gentle” is “never allowing Raven to feel negative emotions”.

When she talks about nursery not being “gentle”, for example, that’s what she means. She can’t see the wood for the trees anymore. Someone needs to have a word with her because she honestly seems to have lost her grip on reality.

I did misread the screenshot though, because I thought she said “bathroom” not “playroom”, and had visions of Raven playing with bricks and blocks in the bathroom while Ember looked on through the stairgate

I think the part about not allowing R to feel negative emotions is spot on!