One Day Of Winter #5 Bathroom locked, lentil slop, favouritism has to stop.

[SilverSpoonNotIncluded]

It feels so intrusive having gone to her page for a nosey and seen that photo of Raven breastfeeding. Breastfeed whenever and wherever and for as long as you want - I just wonder about why she’s shared THAT image? To what end? It’s so hugely hugely intimate, to her and to Raven. I can’t believe she looked at it and thought ‘thousands of strangers need to see this’ rather than ‘that’s a memory I’ll keep for me.’ Do we need to see more extended breastfeeding? I dunno, probably if you’re doing it and feel alone, but do they need to be the photos Pea posts? No. And she isn’t going to help others, it’s purely self serving. So so weird. How is sharing SO MUCH about her kids lives gentle?

 

[FraggleRock]

Tonight's grid post in short. Nic needed some shopping, Ray wanted to see what was down a road so Nic indulged her (obvs), they all got wet, got lost, didn't get the shopping and needed to catch a bus home

Her life is dictated by her 4 year old, it’s ridiculous. She just can’t say no to R can she, “no Raven it’s raining and I need shopping, we have to go” I feel she’s afraid of upsetting R and having to deal with tantrums, so she just indulges whatever R wants, and what she wants she gets - not really preparing her for life. Raven will be growing up thinking it’s the norm to always get what she wants and will have a shock when she realises the whole world doesn’t revolve around her.

I bet Pea was on her neighbourhood WhatsApp last night after not getting shopping, asking for onions and coconut milk again

 

[HattieJakes]

I think her family in general tried very hard to offer advice, which of course was declined. So I think her mum just goes along with her nonsense now instead of falling out with her.

After the awful death of her baby, I imagine the family just want her to be happy. But at what cost? Some of the stuff she says and does is just madness.

The tone of her post about her girls teaching her I find so creepy. I have a relative who raised her kid as strict "raw" vegan. They also homeschooled, family bed etc for years too. She was OBSESSED with the kids being "natural" living naturally etc but much more than that she was obsessed with then being with her 24/7. There were loads of issues at play and the family and kids were very isolated and didn't socialise, but everyone ignored it (I was a kid myself at the time) and went along because the mum was happy after severe trauma/addiction etc. Very long story, but the children ended up living with their Dad + step family and don't really have contact now with their mum as adults. Anyway...it's different but I just see many parallels with Pea. This isn't a comment about gentle parenting, it's about centering yourself and your wants, needs and traumas as the most important thing in your relationship with your children, under the pretense of doing the very best for them. And expecting your children to heal you, teach you, nurture you in return for giving them this wonderful life. Most of the time it backfires against the mum when kids start rejecting that dynamic.

 

[unknownname]

Was that Embers shit on the floor?!! If so Nicola and you're ready here you're a dirty bitch and awful for posting it. Absolutely disgusting and disrespectful of those girls privacy!

 

[Hollyxx]

You take that back! That child is a genius!



Is this not a common thing for a child to be able to do at the age of 4, after a year at nursery?

Definitely not, my kids could write their names at 3/4. It’s lovely that she finds great pleasure in her kids doing stuff but it’s really irritating when she makes out they are geniuses. When they are average, not in a horrible way at all, but just generally hitting normal average milestones. The way she talks it’s like she’s trying to convince herself by thinking they are so far advanced. One of my kids was crawling at 6 months and walking at 7months, doesn’t mean she was forward in developing it’s just kids do it at different times. She finds ember easier to deal with and gasps at how good she is at sleeping when she puts her down etc. But this is because she is parenting ember differently even if she doesn’t acknowledge it. Ember sleeps in her prom well because she has been allowed to etc. She is probably more mobile because she is left to find her own way whilst pea is occupied by Raven.

 

[maytoseptember]

Just caught up with it. So he was 18 months old and still completely reliant on breastmilk for nutrition and fluids? Wouldn’t really eat solids or drink from a bottle or cup? Well I can see why it would look pretty bad when you present at A&E with a starving and dehydrated toddler because your milk has dried up.

ETA: I’m sure there’s racism at play though, and the mother was painted as too neglectful to give her child solid food, rather than “brainwashed by breastfeeding obsessives on the internet”.

 

[DiscoBiscuit]

Ember looks ridiculously uncomfortable in that new buggy Also I find it strange that Raven has been so babied I guess the word is in regards to breastfeeding and sleeping etc, but with Ember it's like she can't wait for her to grow up.

I thought that. She's slouched off to one side and the straps aren't adjusted properly.

She's desperate to get Ember grown up and independent so she can get her full attention back on to the messiah. The weaning thing is fine, she's pretty much 6 months now, but if it's been that obvious that Ember was ready for this then why hasn't she prepared better? Get her sat in a proper supportive chair, with her own food or a tray or plate. Wobbling around on their knees, facing away from them, or slouched in a bouncer (because I don't believe the disclaimer about her not eating in it) is just putting her at risk of choking.

What does this woman have against using furniture properly? She balanced a changing mat on 2 side tables, Raven eats half her meals sat on a table top, they have sex on the sofa because they have a "family sleep space" full of kids rather than a bed, and she's "seat hunting". Just buy a damn high chair like most parents do!

 

[sunchaser19]

It was when she said “she will be well equipped and ready for any exams she may need to sit in the future” will she? Who’s teaching her GCSE English, maths and science then Pea? Because you’re certainly not qualified to do so. She’s probably doing it on purpose so that R can never get a job and leave home

 

[AfroCircus]

*complains about not having another baby due to finances*
*sends golden child to private school*

 

[ceecee454]

not being funny but don’t believe for a minute that kid wrote her name independently “completely out of the blue” she’s clearly been taught the letters at some point cos it’s not like she’s got a name you can easily decode into letter like sounds.

there’s nothing wrong with supporting your kid to learn to weite their name at 4 years old, but let’s call it what it is shall we- she’s learned to write her name over a period of time with practice she hasn’t just done that out of the blue

 

[sunchaser19]

the kids went out in their pyjamas!!! Get your kids dressed Pea!!!

 

[sassmaster3000]

Is there a gentle God or master that must approve all of their “gentle” actions??

Yes, her name is Sarah cockwell smith. That Facebook group is like a pissing pyramid scheme for gentle parenting - every gentle (permissive) act gets you a level closer to the ultimate gentle boss, Sarah (who has, on multiple occasions, absolutely slammed mothers for not being gentle enough - not very gentle of you yourself eh Sarah?).

There’s some women on there with real, genuine parenting concerns - how to gently explain to their kids that they’re getting a divorce/their gran has died etc, and then you’ve got complete knobheads like Nicola harping on about segregating her children so that Damien can do yet another cbeebies activity book without feeling like she’s not an only child anymore. Give over. Get a bloody grip. Ugh.

 

[RLdeletedme]

I wouldn't want any more children with someone who behaved the way Nicola does and the way Raven is turning out. Imagine her as a teen

Ember is bloody adorable though.

 

[DiscoBiscuit]

Seems rather contradictory doesn't It? It's ok for her to work at a main stream school but her child can't go to one?

I think one of her own colleagues once pointed this out to her on Facebook.

However, I think you're all missing the point. Mainstream education is fine for regular kids, but Raven isn't a regular kid. She's a child genius, and as such a regular school wouldn't be good enough for her.

 

[Peakyblinders]

Pea admitting (and basically being proud) on her stories that Raven is wearing the dress she slept in last night and might sleep in it again tonight awful. If it was a “scruffy” mom saying this everyone would be going mad but because pea isn’t quirky it doesn’t matter. Vile.

 

[unknownname]

If Raven is SO easy to get to sleep then why isn’t she falling asleep on her own... dare I say even in her own room & then there wouldn’t be any disturbances and Pea could concentrate on E who is still a baby and actually needs nursed at bedtime

Because then she wouldn't get her 'special milky cuddles' and time to 'reconnect' with Raven

 

[DiscoBiscuit]

Is it just me, or does the term ‘milky cuddles’ just make you shudder

I find a lot of breastfeeding language makes me feel the same, and I did it myself for a year, so I'm not against the actual act. People talk about normalising breastfeeding, but some of the language people use just has the opposite effect.

"I was boobing the baby." No, you were feeding the baby.

 

[unknownname]

There must be some crunchy finishing school because they all write the same low key passive aggressive stuff constantly. 'I used to think blah blah but now I know better (than you)'

That whole post is ridiculous! Especially the first part about miscarriages, stillbirths etc. Even before my loss I was very aware of how awful these experiences must be and even if I had felt differently, I would never admit it or write it on a post that many loss mothers can read, the line about miscarriage being nothing much to grieve in particular! How insulting!! I'm genuinely shocked tbh.

 

[Cubalibra]

For fuck sake- I mean how is that a solution? Locking the baby away from Raven so Raven can have uninterrupted play? I wonder what goes on in that head of hers.

 

[sassmaster3000]

There are at least ten ways to make her life easier with bedtimes, but they all start with treating the children as equals. So for now, Raven wins and ember cries. And we keep posting to the Facebook group for validation.