New housemate struggles…

[greenvelvet]

Making loud noise at inappropriate times is probably a violation of the tenancy agreement - if you can get proof of your not being involved with the party (the front room door being locked might be to your advantage) that might stand in your favour, esp. if the neighbours to complain. it might be a good idea to have a look through your tenancy agreement because she's probably going to break a load of stuff in it. r/legaladviceUK or citizens' advice might have some ideas

it depends how much you like the place tbh, like if you want to stand your ground or just leave! it depends what kind of person you are as well like it would be a good idea to talk to her about it, but only if you feel you can say "no" to her bs - you don't want to be put in a position where you end up agreeing to everything she says and then having no leg to stand on when it comes to complaining

 

[Sunflower91]

They sound like an absolute fool- communal areas should be somewhere you have access to at all times, and the level of petty sounds really juvenile. I think best case scenario is that you have words and they change their behaviour. Unless you pay more rent/ can work in some kind of leverage I’m not sure whether the landlord would help. I had a nightmare set of neighbours in the flat below me that was owned by the same landlord as mine. They’d smoke weed and stink out our flat too, have loud parties, slam doors at all hours, huge domestics and were breaking the agreement on number of occupants in their flat but the landlord/ agency managing it didn’t want to hear it- actually told us to complain to the council about the nose and drug use. Got to the point where it took too much out of my mental health so I moved.

 

[Blahblahahaaa77]

Yeah, I think it’s going to be a long 6 months. I’ve sat in the living room this evening to appear more social but she hasn’t said a word .. she’s currently making a 10 course dinner in the kitchen

 

[primarkqueen93]

She sounds absolutely horrible I think you should call her out on it. Petty and immature.

 

[Erling Haaland]

This is outrageous!

I would contact the landlord and maybe try and beat her at her own game

 

[candyland_]

I could deal with them rearranging the cupboards but locking you out of the house is beyond a joke.

 

[Blahblahahaaa77]

I’ve come to the conclusion that she’s just a cat, I'm wfh today and I heard her leave for work .. about 10 mins later I was on a call with my headphones in and could hear some banging so I went to investigate and there was was kicking the front door! I opened it like ‘are you okay?’ And she just pushed me out the way and said, ‘I forgot my keys and now im late because you didn’t answer’ no thank you or anything … I think I want rid

 

[cococookie]

Urghhh! get her gone asap

 

[Tinkerbell cat]

You need to seriously man up here and say something to her. The longer you allow this sort of behaviour, the longer it will continue because she knows she can get away with it. I would start making it clear you both live there, she either learns to live alongside you as two adults or she leaves because its clearly not working. Spend time in your living room, walk around the place unafraid, and if she has a problem - tough! I was in a similar situation about 10 yrs ago when I shared a flat with someone and I swore never again. I feel for you. Can you maybe share your concerns with the landlord?

 

[candyland_]

I’ve come to the conclusion that she’s just a cat, I'm wfh today and I heard her leave for work .. about 10 mins later I was on a call with my headphones in and could hear some banging so I went to investigate and there was was kicking the front door! I opened it like ‘are you okay?’ And she just pushed me out the way and said, ‘I forgot my keys and now im late because you didn’t answer’ no thank you or anything … I think I want rid

Did you remind her that she locked you out all night?

 

[yogiessexdubs]

I agree with @tinkerbell. I've been in similar situations and you can't appear 'weak' or they will run riot. It's like dealing with a bully.

 

[Tinkerbell cat]

@Blahblahahaaa77 you were literally locked out all night but then the housemate was rapping the door and complained she would be 10 mins late because you wouldn't answer?! Nah absolutely not. pardon my french here but duck that. Who does she think she is. You have to make it clear to people like this they can not get on like that from the beginning otherwise it will just get worse. You are a better person than me because I would have told her where to go instantly with that attitude.

 

[Shutterbug99]

Wow. What an absolute nightmare! Do you think she's maybe trying to push you out of the flat so she can move one of her friends in? It seems that way to me. She 100% locked you out on purpose. I wouldn't have answered the door to her when she got locked out - give her a taste of her own medicine!

I hadn't seen this thread until now - and I do have some advice to share on how you might get rid of her - especially since she's been living there such a short time. I rented all through my 20's and for the most part I had fun housemates. However, I once had to deal with a similar situation to you. Without making this into a really long story, the guy that moved in not only practically moved his girlfriend in a week later (and she'd be at the house all day by herself when everyone else was out at work) he also threw quite a few very loud all-night parties. Anyway, first time I let it go, next few times I rang the police as an anonymous neighbour complaining about noise disturbance. Next time the landlord called round, I was sure to meet him. He asked me about the new tenant; I told him we'd had the police at the door and we'd also had a few other problems with him(the guy was an actual nightmare). The landlord told him to leave. The guy knew it was me that had called the police and confronted me about it- but he couldn't prove it.

The next time we were looking for someone to move in - we had a one-month trial period in case anything similar happened.

I never had someone lock an internal door in a house while they were having a party. The cheek of her! She is totally throwing her weight around - and you have to stand up to her. You are the longer-term tenant, so don't let her walk all over you. Stand your ground - and maybe start making things a bit difficult for her. Don't hide away in your room. I know these situations call be stressful (I've been there!) but that is the absolute worst thing you can do.

ETA: Since she has only recently moved in I wonder if you can phone the landlord and just tell him it's not working out and that you will find another tenant? He probably knows she's not the easiest to live with if she demanded all new furniture as soon as she moved in!

 

[xcyber]

I’ve come to the conclusion that she’s just a cat, I'm wfh today and I heard her leave for work .. about 10 mins later I was on a call with my headphones in and could hear some banging so I went to investigate and there was was kicking the front door! I opened it like ‘are you okay?’ And she just pushed me out the way and said, ‘I forgot my keys and now im late because you didn’t answer’ no thank you or anything … I think I want rid

Unless you’re willing to move out, you need to fight fire with fire unfortunately. First have a word and be VERY VERY firm and clear that you won’t be accepting her behaviour. Then if she continues to be a twit, which she likely will, you just gotta turn the place into a hostile environment for her. Bring friends over, be in the living room a lot, play loud music etc etc. it’s annoying and childish but it’s the only way - that or move out.

 

[StrawberryBanana90]

Just to chime in, please please say something and try set some boundaries (I understand it’s hard to break a tenancy etc) - I didn’t and I’ve been a complete door mat to my flatmate and her behaviour just escalated and I hated living there.
Thankfully I’m out of there now but I wish I’d put my foot down more.

 

[Warpaint]

It's killshot time

 

[Tree_]

You need to absolutely kick off at her. I'd have her in tears personally just for locking me out never mind the other stuff

 

[Bellaboonew_12]

Fight fire with fire, she's a bully and that's all she will understand.

Make the place a hell for her to live in. be petty and leave the kitchen in a real state for days on end, use her pans and burn tit to the bottom of them that even wire wool wouldn't remove , cook mackerel for tea every single night and never take the bins out, leave food to rot in the fridge and soak rags in milk then warm them in the microwave and put them in a zip lock bag with just a small part open and hide them behind sofas and in communal areas, have friends over all the time. Lock doors. Buy a drum set, a new pet spider. Have a lovely bubble bath from 7-9 in the morning so she can't get ready for work and while in the bath shave every hair on your body and leave it all sat in the bath once the water drains, stop flushing the toilet, leave windows open when it's cold or invite friends to smoke under her windows when it's warm, always have an old towel festering in the washing machine, log into your WiFi router and change the password, take fuzes out of electrical appliance plugs in a random order - become everything you would hate in a house mate!

If you don't have the same petty in you as me then perhaps have a chat with the landlord and ask nicely if there is anything you can do

I feel for you, I've had noisy neighbours before and that was bad enough

 

[Blahblahahaaa77]

I love you guys!! So, I’ve been bored at home all day whilst she was at work so I’ve rearranged the house back to how it was and taken all ‘communal’ household items like toilet roll and cleaning stuff out of the bathroom and the kitchen … I realised she’d been using all my stuff then when it runs out replacing it but hiding it and not sharing. She’s just got home took one look at the kitchen and went straight to her room without even saying hello … I’m just enjoying a glass of wine in my old front room

 

[xcyber]

I love you guys!! So, I’ve been bored at home all day whilst she was at work so I’ve rearranged the house back to how it was and taken all ‘communal’ household items like toilet roll and cleaning stuff out of the bathroom and the kitchen … I realised she’d been using all my stuff then when it runs out replacing it but hiding it and not sharing. She’s just got home took one look at the kitchen and went straight to her room without even saying hello … I’m just enjoying a glass of wine in my old front room

Yaaas! Good on you! Keep it up. You’re no pushover and she can duck right off.