New housemate struggles…

[Blahblahahaaa77]

So… I moved back to the UK recently and found a 2 bed house share, my housemate was amazing and I loved our little flat, it really felt like a home but she got posted abroad and moved out 3 weeks ago. I had to find a replacement so after about 50 viewings I finally thought I’d found the perfect replacement but this week has been a nightmare.

Within 10 mins of her moving in she went through every cupboard and rearranged everything, moved all my stuff around and threw half the stuff out. I was like okaaay, bit weird.

She’s made it very clear that she doesn’t share, we have 2 washing up liquids, 2 sponges, 2 toilet roll holders, 2 separate sets of knives of forks, pots, pans, bowls …you name it! It feels very studenty!

I came home on Thursday at about 1am as I was at a work event and she’d double locked the door and put the chain on so I couldn’t get in … I rang the bell and her phone all night and she didn’t answer until 10am meaning I missed work and didn’t even say sorry!

Just now, I was in my room and I heard the front door go and it turns out she’s having all her friends over for a ‘moving in party’ .. they’ve all brought litres and litres and alcohol and I’m hiding in my room. I went to go and say hi but she’s locked the front room door, am I being unreasonable thinking she should have text me and give me a heads up?

Any ideas? I don’t want to come across like an hole

 

[xcyber]

She’s a dick and very rude. You’re going to have to have a word but tbh I’ve been in a similar situation and it’s such a horrible atmosphere, it only resolved when that person leaves.

 

[cococookie]

she already sounds like a nightmare! Locking you out the house, throwing stuff out the cupboards and now having a party on a Sunday night and not even telling you and not only that, but locking the front room door?? She needs to be reminded this is a houseSHARE! Cheeky cow!

 

[Blahblahahaaa77]

She’s a dick and very rude. You’re going to have to have a word but tbh I’ve been in a similar situation and it’s such a horrible atmosphere, it only resolved when that person leaves.

I feel the same but didn’t want to think I’m being a dick only one week in . She complained to the landlord that all the furniture in the room was broken (I checked with my old housemate and she was like no it isn’t) .. so they brought her all new stuff over last weekend, the poor guy is about 80 and the lift is broken. I felt terrible watching him lugging all these drawers up the stairs so went to help, she just lounged on her bed. Then when he was assembling them I made him a cup of tea and I noticed yesterday that she hadn’t washed the cup up .. I haven’t really been here this week so didn’t realise but she’d washed up around it and left in on the side … I think it’s so petty

 

[xcyber]

Oh god she sounds problematic. I think you’re definitely going to have to broach it and be very firm because her behaviour is not on. It’s annoying because you just want to enjoy your living space and not feel uncomfortable or on edge. I feel for you.

 

[Rocknrolla]

Wow what an absolute c*nt

 

[Warpaint]

Is there any common ground you could find where you end up being friends or at least come to a truce? Do you have any similar interests, are you the same age bracket etc. You could try be friendly and go for a 'clean slate' approach.

If not, time to get your psycho on and get her out of there.

 

[EddyDarling]

Have a word with her and let your landlord know what's going on too, cover yourself

 

[Blahblahahaaa77]

Is there any common ground you could find where you end up being friends or at least come to a truce? Do you have any similar interests, are you the same age bracket etc. You could try be friendly and go for a 'clean slate' approach.

If not, time to get your psycho on and get her out of there.

She’s 27 and I’m 33 so not too big of an age gap! Yeah, I need to grow some balls and say something … my washing just finished and my drying rack is in the front room, I’m just hiding in my room wondering what to do so stupid!

 

[EddyDarling]

She’s 27 and I’m 33 so not too big of an age gap! Yeah, I need to grow some balls and say something … my washing just finished and my drying rack is in the front room, I’m just hiding in my room wondering what to do so stupid!

27!!!!
I wondered if she was just a bit young and not up to speed with shared living but at 27 she knows what she's doing.
Go and get your washing before she bins it!

 

[Blahblahahaaa77]

27!!!!
I wondered if she was just a bit young and not up to speed with shared living but at 27 she knows what she's doing.
Go and get your washing before she bins it!

Hahahha anything is up for grabs at the minute … I tried to knock on the living room door but the music is too loud, it’s a Bloody Sunday night

 

[xcyber]

You shouldn’t have to knock or be locked out of communal areas!!!

 

[Blahblahahaaa77]

You shouldn’t have to knock or be locked out of communal areas!!!

It’s better than being locked out of my actual flat for an entire night . God even typing that is insane haha!

 

[xcyber]

It’s better than being locked out of my actual flat for an entire night . God even typing that is insane haha!

I’m fuming for you tbh. That was entirely intentionally done. I think def keep a log of all these incidences and evidence and if stuff gets hairy you can try and use that to get her out.

 

[EddyDarling]

She sounds entirely batshit

 

[MrsBsDayOff]

Her behaviour is totally unacceptable. Tbh she doesn't sound like the type of person who will ever improve. These people never do.

'Having a word' may make you feel better as you get feelings off your chest (I'd do it myself), but her behaviour won't change sorry to say...don't expect results.

Unless she does something that breaks the terms of the lease (make sure you write everything down and take photos/videos), you will have to move out. Life isn't fair, again sorry to say it but it's true, someone's bullying behaviour drove me out of a house share before leaving me stuck in a relatives spare room for months, it wasnt my fault at all and I had to suffer the consequences.

I've lived with a few assholes in house shares but no one as explicitly bad (at first anyway) as the person the OP mentions

Have a word with her and let your landlord know what's going on too, cover yourself

Sadly in my experience landlords don't wanna know about internal tenant conflicts unless a condition of the lease is being broken (such as damage or drugs or overoccupancy), and I can see their point.

She’s a dick and very rude. You’re going to have to have a word but tbh I’ve been in a similar situation and it’s such a horrible atmosphere, it only resolved when that person leaves.

Its awful, as noted above I lived in a house where I had to hide in my room from an absolute dick of a housemate, you can't relax in your home and feel on edge all the time. I bought a house eventually but I never take my privacy for granted esp as I know a lot of people are in situations where they have to houseshare with crappy people as cant afford a house purchase

 

[Rockin' Robin]

So… I moved back to the UK recently and found a 2 bed house share, my housemate was amazing and I loved our little flat, it really felt like a home but she got posted abroad and moved out 3 weeks ago. I had to find a replacement so after about 50 viewings I finally thought I’d found the perfect replacement but this week has been a nightmare.

Within 10 mins of her moving in she went through every cupboard and rearranged everything, moved all my stuff around and threw half the stuff out. I was like okaaay, bit weird.

She’s made it very clear that she doesn’t share, we have 2 washing up liquids, 2 sponges, 2 toilet roll holders, 2 separate sets of knives of forks, pots, pans, bowls …you name it! It feels very studenty!

I came home on Thursday at about 1am as I was at a work event and she’d double locked the door and put the chain on so I couldn’t get in … I rang the bell and her phone all night and she didn’t answer until 10am meaning I missed work and didn’t even say sorry!

Just now, I was in my room and I heard the front door go and it turns out she’s having all her friends over for a ‘moving in party’ .. they’ve all brought litres and litres and alcohol and I’m hiding in my room. I went to go and say hi but she’s locked the front room door, am I being unreasonable thinking she should have text me and give me a heads up?

Any ideas? I don’t want to come across like an hole

You need to get rid of her as soon as possible, her behaviour might escalate.

 

[EddyDarling]

Her behaviour is totally unacceptable. Tbh she doesn't sound like the type of person who will ever improve. These people never do.

'Having a word' may make you feel better as you get feelings off your chest (I'd do it myself), but her behaviour won't change sorry to say...don't expect results.

Unless she does something that breaks the terms of the lease (make sure you write everything down and take photos/videos), you will have to move out. Life isn't fair, again sorry to say it but it's true, someone's bullying behaviour drove me out of a house share before leaving me stuck in a relatives spare room for months, it wasnt my fault at all and I had to suffer the consequences.

I've lived with a few assholes in house shares but no one as explicitly bad (at first anyway) as the person the OP mentions


Sadly in my experience landlords don't wanna know about internal tenant conflicts unless a condition of the lease is being broken (such as damage or drugs or overoccupancy), and I can see their point.


Its awful, as noted above I lived in a house where I had to hide in my room from an absolute dick of a housemate, you can't relax in your home and feel on edge all the time. I bought a house eventually but I never take my privacy for granted esp as I know a lot of people are in situations where they have to houseshare with crappy people as cant afford a house purchase

The landlord may not want to know but she will need to cover herself as people like new tenant are quite happy to twist things and blame others so it's always a good idea to cover yourself so you have a paper trail.

 

[cococookie]

What time did the party finish?

 

[Blahblahahaaa77]

About 1am … they’ve cleaned up which is a relief! He text the landlord asking if they would mind if I took the catch off the door and they were super nice about it! I made sure I made lots of noise at 6am this morning before going to work