New baby and post birth advice #46

[geegeex]

Really just pulling my hair out now baby is 8 weeks with silent reflux and colic; we’re now on Gaviscon, omeprazole and colief. I’m also using dentinox and biogaia drops. Was recommended colief today by the HV who said he obviously is a windy baby but what’s next there surely can’t be anything else we can be prescribed and they’ll need to start looking at allergies or special milks? Has anyone had similar please? Feel so sad for LO can clearly see he’s uncomfortable arching his back, screaming, not wanting to feed and trouble bringing wind up

He could have cmpa? There is also a medication called domperidone for reflux but you may need to push for it. My boy had to get it through paediatrician at the hospital. I feel you, I went through it with my first! Sending love. It does get easier, take that from someone who thought it never would xxx
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Is there anything that helps bottom wind other than bike legs and massage?

 

[Ro98]

Really just pulling my hair out now baby is 8 weeks with silent reflux and colic; we’re now on Gaviscon, omeprazole and colief. I’m also using dentinox and biogaia drops. Was recommended colief today by the HV who said he obviously is a windy baby but what’s next there surely can’t be anything else we can be prescribed and they’ll need to start looking at allergies or special milks? Has anyone had similar please? Feel so sad for LO can clearly see he’s uncomfortable arching his back, screaming, not wanting to feed and trouble bringing wind up

We are in the same boat but at 7wks!
I quit everything & went back to basics with just omeprazole and fought for a prescription formula.
Dentinox made him worse as did all the other ‘wind’ helpers. Gaviscon constipated him and lactulose causes lots of wind & belly ache.
He passes wind by himself now without crying.

Not sure which is helping the most but he’s no longer crying, arching his back & taking small amounts of milk straight after since the new formula!
Still not 100% as he won’t lay on his back so sleep is tit but I will take that over his previous discomfort!
He took 6oz of milk for the first time today and I cried seeing him enjoy it and want more.
Definitely speak to your gp about a special milk! You’ve tried everything else & he’s still not happy so that’s their next step x

 

[lorballs]

My 19 week old who has been sleeping 9-9 has now started waking up at random times tonight it’s was 2.30 and she wants to sleep in with me so I cuddled her and then transferred her by the time I do this I’m now wide awake.. tell me it’s a phase I can’t let her cry it out as hubby has work tomorrow and I have another child who she will wake as the walls are like paper in my new build house

 

[Nfj]

My 19 week old who has been sleeping 9-9 has now started waking up at random times tonight it’s was 2.30 and she wants to sleep in with me so I cuddled her and then transferred her by the time I do this I’m now wide awake.. tell me it’s a phase I can’t let her cry it out as hubby has work tomorrow and I have another child who she will wake as the walls are like paper in my new build house

Why would you let her cry it out? There’s a very common sleep regression that starts at 4 months ish. You could encourage her to keep sleeping in the cot or just accept she needs a bit more support at the moment and bring her into the bed?

 

[lorballs]

Why would you let her cry it out? There’s a very common sleep regression that starts at 4 months ish. You could encourage her to keep sleeping in the cot or just accept she needs a bit more support at the moment and bring her into the bed?

Some people advise you to let them cry it out.. I feel like it’s too warm at the moment to let her in the bed I’m concerned for her safety and my own sanity as I couldn’t sleep with her and I’m sorry myself her and husband would generate too much heat as we are in a heat wave at the min in NI

 

[WhatABore]

Ladies, question for you, at 12 weeks had your baby found their feet? This tinyfun is a totally different creature to her sister. I don’t want to give her a hard time, but she is genuinely Little Miss Just Happy To Be Here. She just lies on her play mat and smiles at her butterflies over her head. She’s coming up 14 weeks. By 12 weeks her sister was catching dangling toys with her feet and using her feet to hold the toy in place so she could inspect it/play with it. She’d also already rolled over. I thought I was exaggerating my eldest’s achievements at this age but looked at some videos from 5 years ago and sure enough she was well away, grabbing for things, playing with her feet etc…. I can’t get this girl to do much… I’ve put her dangly toys from her play gym in the direct part of her feet and she does kick them but I don’t know if she knows she’s kicking them or it’s just consequential to her. Any tips, ideas, or reassurance?

I honestly don't think any of my kids have really kicked toys/tried to or grabbed toys with their feet. Can't recall them ever doing that!

I think your first was just earlier doing the rolling ect as its quite normal for a 14 week old not to be rolling. Most don't until 4 months-ish
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My 19 week old who has been sleeping 9-9 has now started waking up at random times tonight it’s was 2.30 and she wants to sleep in with me so I cuddled her and then transferred her by the time I do this I’m now wide awake.. tell me it’s a phase I can’t let her cry it out as hubby has work tomorrow and I have another child who she will wake as the walls are like paper in my new build house

Please don't let her cry it out. Whether your hushand is at work or not.

It only "works" because baby realises nobody is coming so there's no point in crying because nobody will be there for them anyway especially at 19 weeks!

 

[WeHadFunRight]

Thanks for the comments re feet… my eldest never slept so it at least makes me feel better that she put all that awake time to good use

it’s definitely a different world having a baby that just wants to have cuddles and smile at everything given how demanding and curious her sister was during her first 5 or 6 months - going to enjoy the slow burn I guess!

 

[shhh1712]

He could have cmpa? There is also a medication called domperidone for reflux but you may need to push for it. My boy had to get it through paediatrician at the hospital. I feel you, I went through it with my first! Sending love. It does get easier, take that from someone who thought it never would xxx

Thank you, so sorry you’ve had to go through this as well, it’s so awful. We had a couple of better days and then we seemed to have gone backwards again
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We are in the same boat but at 7wks!
I quit everything & went back to basics with just omeprazole and fought for a prescription formula.
Dentinox made him worse as did all the other ‘wind’ helpers. Gaviscon constipated him and lactulose causes lots of wind & belly ache.
He passes wind by himself now without crying.

Not sure which is helping the most but he’s no longer crying, arching his back & taking small amounts of milk straight after since the new formula!
Still not 100% as he won’t lay on his back so sleep is tit but I will take that over his previous discomfort!
He took 6oz of milk for the first time today and I cried seeing him enjoy it and want more.
Definitely speak to your gp about a special milk! You’ve tried everything else & he’s still not happy so that’s their next step x

Thank you so much! I’m glad you feel like you’re finally getting somewhere bless him. Has your little one been diagnosed with an intolerance/ did you have to have further testing or did you just ask for a prescription milk? Our GP is pretty shocking tbh so I want to go armed with info xx

 

[Definitelyme]

Some people advise you to let them cry it out.. I feel like it’s too warm at the moment to let her in the bed I’m concerned for her safety and my own sanity as I couldn’t sleep with her and I’m sorry myself her and husband would generate too much heat as we are in a heat wave at the min in NI

Hi, I also live in NI, and hasn’t the weather been fab?! I have coslept with all my babies through all sorts of weather, so please don’t worry that it would be a problem for you to do so at the minute. If you don’t want to, that is of course a different story! I wouldn’t advise leaving such a little baby to CIO, as above I would continue to offer her support through this turbulent period, and know that it will pass soon. It’s hard when your sleep is interrupted, but as you’ll know yourself from having an older one, all these phases do pass quickly enough

 

[fairylights2000]

My 19 week old who has been sleeping 9-9 has now started waking up at random times tonight it’s was 2.30 and she wants to sleep in with me so I cuddled her and then transferred her by the time I do this I’m now wide awake.. tell me it’s a phase I can’t let her cry it out as hubby has work tomorrow and I have another child who she will wake as the walls are like paper in my new build house

Might be a silly question but have you tried changing and resettling her? baby lights is 20 weeks and had a stretch of going until 7am then more recently waking up around 4 or 5 - not upset just awake and beaming at me whenever I checked on him! The first time I was like wtf as he was up for over an hour but then I changed his nappy and he was out in about 5 minutes, I guess he finds it uncomfortable to wake up to a huge nappy! So the last few days if I hear him wake up early I give him 5-10 mins and then change him if he's still awake and it has worked so far (although I'm then up for like another hour )

 

[lorballs]

Might be a silly question but have you tried changing and resettling her? baby lights is 20 weeks and had a stretch of going until 7am then more recently waking up around 4 or 5 - not upset just awake and beaming at me whenever I checked on him! The first time I was like wtf as he was up for over an hour but then I changed his nappy and he was out in about 5 minutes, I guess he finds it uncomfortable to wake up to a huge nappy! So the last few days if I hear him wake up early I give him 5-10 mins and then change him if he's still awake and it has worked so far (although I'm then up for like another hour )

Thank you il maybe try that, she’s not upset etc either n when I lift to cuddle her she goes back over but when I transfer her she wakes up.. so I know it’s not a feed she’s after. I worry about co sleeping so I don’t think I’d sleep until she’s at the age when I know she will be ok.. I’d let her in maybe if hubby wasn’t there and there was more room in the bed for her
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I honestly don't think any of my kids have really kicked toys/tried to or grabbed toys with their feet. Can't recall them ever doing that!

I think your first was just earlier doing the rolling ect as its quite normal for a 14 week old not to be rolling. Most don't until 4 months-ish
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Please don't let her cry it out. Whether your hushand is at work or not.

It only "works" because baby realises nobody is coming so there's no point in crying because nobody will be there for them anyway especially at 19 weeks!

I don’t think I worded it all right I would never of let her cry it out but when I had my son that’s all I was told to do, that was 7 years ago and it seems alot of parenting advise has changed, my son never shut his eyes so I never slept either and he was in and out of my bed til he was 4. Then I had my daughter and she slept 9-9 and I was in shock at how different she was but now she’s stopped and wants in the bed and I’m trying to not make the same mistakes again. Genuinely couldn’t listen to her crying on her own so wouldn’t do it but I’ve had 1.5 hrs sleep and could prob of worded everything better, and I’m not prioritising my husband over daughter just he does have work and also has to drive our son early doors so I’d rather he did have a better sleep as I have bad anxiety and would worry about him

 

[Dianne]

How do people do it with a baby and another child? My husband is working from home today and even with him in the next room I’ve cried and cried at every little thing. I have no idea how to juggle everything.

 

[WeHadFunRight]

How do people do it with a baby and another child? My husband is working from home today and even with him in the next room I’ve cried and cried at every little thing. I have no idea how to juggle everything.

I don’t know tbh. Just accept that I feel a teeny tiny bit more insane every hour that goes by in a day. About 6:30pm I pour myself a bit of wine to take the edge off the day. Helps.

also I’ve found being outside makes things feel less concentrated, and I have also found bundling one child into the nearest soft play very helpful because then you’re mostly back to one child whilst the other one throws themselves about a bit. Not sure if any of this is helpful.

where is my mother of the year award.

 

[Definitelyme]

How do people do it with a baby and another child? My husband is working from home today and even with him in the next room I’ve cried and cried at every little thing. I have no idea how to juggle everything.

It gets easier. How old are the children? Does your eldest still nap?
A simple daily routine can really help, making sure you get out and get some fresh air, giving your older child a chance to run round and burn off some energy.
A sling has always been really helpful for me, keeping baby close means they sleep long periods pretty soundly, and you can focus just on the older child.
Also letting some stuff go for a while until you find your feet - maybe a little more tv time, easier meals, letting some non-essential household things go for now.
And be kind to yourself. You will get there, but it takes time to find your feet.

 

[loveanatter]

How do people do it with a baby and another child? My husband is working from home today and even with him in the next room I’ve cried and cried at every little thing. I have no idea how to juggle everything.

How old are they? I accept that there will be mess (but that’s something I find hard!) and just literally do what I can. You have to decide which ones needs you most in that moment and the other one has to wait.. which sounds harsh but you can’t split yourself in two! I say things to my 3 year old like ‘I will do that when I’ve done XX for the baby, as he really needs it done now. Like when you was a baby and I did it for you’
You find your groove eventually! Some of my Mum friends make packed lunch for the eldest, so if you’re feeding or nap trapped over lunch, that’s a job done. X

 

[imtakingabath]

How do people do it with a baby and another child? My husband is working from home today and even with him in the next room I’ve cried and cried at every little thing. I have no idea how to juggle everything.

It’s hard work isn’t it? I’m still adjusting myself, but even though it is incredibly stressful at the time, I do find getting out the house with them both (baby in carrier) really makes the day go quicker and keeps everyone occupied! I’ve done a soft play where I can keep an eye on the four year old, classes with baby in a sling and the older one does the class, going to the playground with pram or baby carrier etc.

 

[xoxo GG]

How do people do it with a baby and another child? My husband is working from home today and even with him in the next room I’ve cried and cried at every little thing. I have no idea how to juggle everything.

It gets easier. I have to be honest and say I found going from 1-2 harder than 0-1 because I think I expected that I’d feel like most other mums, that the baby just slots in, but he didn’t. The first few months were tough and it felt a lot like I was battling against a huge wave because they both seemed to need me at the same time, baby was so different to his sister as he needed me a lot more than she did, we had difficulties with feeding and the days just felt so long.

Simple things helped in the long run, such as getting the 4yo a snack/drink when I was making the babies bottle, swapping the toys/games round so that they were ones that I could help/play with if I was holding baby, but also the acceptance that I honestly could not stretch myself to always live up to my own expectations of doing my best for them. I bought a baby bjorn carrier which honestly saved my sanity, but the 4yo also had a lot more screen time than I’d have liked.

But 9 months in that all now feels like a distant memory. We found our flow, they’re both in a very similar routine which works for them both but means I’m not stretched in different directions. I catch up on all household jobs once they’re in bed/before they wake up so I don’t worry about chores during the day. It’s so hard but one day the fog just lifts and it feels like it’s so much easier. X

 

[WeHadFunRight]

It gets easier. I have to be honest and say I found going from 1-2 harder than 0-1 because I think I expected that I’d feel like most other mums, that the baby just slots in, but he didn’t. The first few months were tough and it felt a lot like I was battling against a huge wave because they both seemed to need me at the same time, baby was so different to his sister as he needed me a lot more than she did, we had difficulties with feeding and the days just felt so long.

Simple things helped in the long run, such as getting the 4yo a snack/drink when I was making the babies bottle, swapping the toys/games round so that they were ones that I could help/play with if I was holding baby, but also the acceptance that I honestly could not stretch myself to always live up to my own expectations of doing my best for them. I bought a baby bjorn carrier which honestly saved my sanity, but the 4yo also had a lot more screen time than I’d have liked.

But 9 months in that all now feels like a distant memory. We found our flow, they’re both in a very similar routine which works for them both but means I’m not stretched in different directions. I catch up on all household jobs once they’re in bed/before they wake up so I don’t worry about chores during the day. It’s so hard but one day the fog just lifts and it feels like it’s so much easier. X

This is it - catching up on chores when they’re down for the night. I did three hours of cleaning the other night after bedtimes and it made such a difference to me. I’d been getting so frustrated not getting anything done but I’ve given in. I take a nap with the baby in the day and then I do some housework between 8:00 and 10pm. The house is trashed by 8am again the next day but that’s living with kids and a messy bugger of a man for you.

 

[themuffinwoman]

Feeling like crap today, every time I take mini muffin out she screams. We get there fine in the car, and then when she goes in the carrycot she wakes up automatically. I fed her in the car when we got to the car park, she started screaming when we walked out of sainsburys, she was awake the entire time so I was on edge, whimpering and smiling, she screamed on the drive home despite me feeding her again. Turns out she had pooped. I feel like a tit mum, whenever we’re out she needs something and I panic and can’t think and get frustrated.

not really asking for anything from this post, just feel crappy.

 

[WeHadFunRight]

Feeling like crap today, every time I take mini muffin out she screams. We get there fine in the car, and then when she goes in the carrycot she wakes up automatically. I fed her in the car when we got to the car park, she started screaming when we walked out of sainsburys, she was awake the entire time so I was on edge, whimpering and smiling, she screamed on the drive home despite me feeding her again. Turns out she had pooped. I feel like a tit mum, whenever we’re out she needs something and I panic and can’t think and get frustrated.

not really asking for anything from this post, just feel crappy.

Oh love don’t feel like a tit mum, you’re not. We all miss stuff like this, it’s really easy to do, mine kept screaming her head off in Tesco the other day and I couldn’t work out what was up with her, kept trying to give her her dummy back and then I lifted her for a cuddle and realised her nappy had leaked so she was trying to alert me to the fact she was lying in soggy clothes!! I felt so sorry for her. It’s just so easy to be having a nice day and suddenly it unravels on you isn’t it - I think we give ourselves a much harder time than we deserve - what we’re all doing is really hard!

in other news I checked my boob for milk earlier and some sprayed onto her mouth, she looked VERY surprised milk had appeared from thin air