Going back through old videos, Jim said "it would be a fun adventure that we could say we did, and we are kind of crazy anyway". So that was his reason for adopting.
Myka seemed obsessed with those Christian families who adopt on YouTube at the time so she did it because of some calling from god - I notice she has dropped that story entirely as they got more successful.
Thank you, this aligns with what I was able to find as well. The religious thing is particularly concerning to me, even as a believer myself. I saw an article where she referenced asking God for a "sign" that it was the right move, and having received some silly coincidence, she took it as a "sign" and proceeded with what was obviously an ill-thought plan. This thought process reflects a somewhat infantile view of God and his communication with us and how he expresses his will or guides us. You don't ask him if it's okay to do foolhardy things and ask him to let you know by flickering the lights (or having the kid have a birthday close to hers as was the case here)--it's insulting to even ask him if you should do something which your own brain should tell you is a mistake. Having five kids is a challenge in the best of circumstances--choosing to make one of them a profoundly special-needs child from an agency which lies to you about his development and history, with all the kids being really close in age, was a huge gamble where losing would mean tremendous pain for multiple family members.
Other than describing her thought process about the initial adoption as very foolish and assuming that she was completely unprepared to deal with even a moderately special needs child, I'm not going to criticize her as long as there is the possibility that this was simply the least bad choice they had (with no "good" choices). My impression was that he might have hurt one of his siblings. I don't know that such a thing justifies "returning" him, but I can sympathize with a family facing that challenge. I feel like if I were in such a situation (with my bio daughter and an adopted son who hurt her, perhaps repeatedly)--I'd probably return the child for his own protection (from me), because I would struggle to deal with ANYBODY hurting my daughter like that. Not everybody can meet every challenge and sometimes you know your limits and have to admit you failed and just try to minimize harm as much as possible. If....(big if, not saying it's sure) he was hurting the other kids, they deserve to be protected as well, not forced to endure a childhood of abuse because mom wants to make sure she doesn't treat him any differently.