My mum has ruined my wedding...

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

Yeah that's correct!
I can totally see that and I've never thought of it like that! We have always been really close - my mum used to work all hours and my sister used to get me ready for school, take me there and then rush off to secondary school herself! She's helped my mum out looking after me a hell of a lot, I even lived with her and her husband when I was 19/20 but the problem is she throws it back in my mum's face alot and she likes to say to me "I brought you up! I was there more than mum was!"
We got along really well until I moved into my own flat, then me and my partner bought a house of our own, she doesn't seem to like me growing up very much! She's always looking around my house like she's searching for faults as well! I love her with all my heart she's my sister, but I've been saying for years that she's got a problem with me that she won't address

This is why I kind of wanted to keep some little details to myself - it hurts that she's not interested enough to ask me herself. Like I've mentioned it's not because she's upset about not being invited to the wedding, it's something more :/

There must be some resentment there from your sister’s side. Going from being the youngest in the family, to being replaced with another girl and then being given the responsibility of having to take care of you too when she should have been enjoying being a teen. Maybe she just accepted it when she was younger, but then as she’s got older the resentment has grown which is why she seems like she has a problem with you.

I don’t think your attitude helps though and maybe she also feels you have never appreciated it all and that you haven’t thanked her for doing what she did. Maybe as you got older you became more petty and started behaving more and more entitled and like a brat and she felt more and more pushed out because of the relationship between yourself and your mum.

 

[whathastheworldcometo]

Big question did the DMs get a wedding invite haha!

They couldnt afford to come, so no

 

[Stan]

Alright I'm done.

I obviously should have opened with alot more context because your all absolutely missing the point.

Right for starters. My brother's are shocking with money and every time I've invited them out for tea for birthdays or anniversarys for my parents they let me down "sorry can't afford it" so I'm right to think "yeah it's a big ask to expect them to travel and stay over for our wedding" so I never just said "your not invited byeeee" I said "we've chosen to have just our parents and grandparents at the ceremony, but we are hoping to have a big party for family and friends at a later date so we can all celebrate together!"

To which... I got "Congratulations hope it's everything you want" and "congratulations guys" the other sibling said nothing. And all 3 in-laws said jack tit as well.

No, you’re absolutely missing the point. You do sound spoilt. Youve not even offered them an explanation and clearly think your wedding should be treated with utter reverence even by those snubbed for an invite. Your attitude is that of a spoilt baby and your problems are v childish

 

[JoeBloggs]

I’m not sure this is worth my time as clearly you don’t take on advice but here we go.

You claim your were all brought up the same, your siblings we’re 10+ when you were born so you have no idea of their childhoods. And your sister gave up her teenage years to look after you. So no you didn’t all have the same childhood.

Maybe they only said ‘congrats’ to you because you seem like such an entitled child and they really don’t care?

In regards to your mum. Stop making her the scapegoat. If you didn’t want anyone to see the photos you shouldn’t have sent them, she’d done it once! The only person who shouldn’t see your dress is your husband. Your sister isn’t going to be there so why does it matter.

Your about to become a wife, grown up. If your family are that bad, take a step back.

 

[Emmas83]

I kind of feel sorry for your family! I’m not particularly close to my brother but I wouldn’t dream of not inviting him to my wedding and if it was abroad and he couldn’t afford it he would just say I can’t afford it but it would be his choice, they are your family it’s very said if you can’t just accept your sisters faults as you see them and move on.
Everyone has their faults but I think the point of them being you siblings is you accept it, it doesn’t sound like they have done anything horrible to you maybe tease you a bit for being youngest...
Your poor mum probably doesn’t know what to do for the best whatever she does sounds like she would be upsetting someone, just get over it and enjoy your day!

 

[Stan]

Also, if you plan to have children I’m sure you’ll see a very different perspective when you’re the parent

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

As I said before though, from looking at your previous thread about your husband to be, I do think perhaps there are some issues there in the relationship and that is also causing you to behave like bridezilla? Maybe you’re doubting you’re worth to him and you’re trying to claw back control by making the day exactly as you want it because you don’t want anything to jeopardise that.

 

[theghosttown]

How exactly do I treat my family?
Love how this is a gossip site but next to none of you could sense any sarcasm in my original post

Yeah you know that post about me giving you the benefit of the doubt... I take that back. You really are a genuinely, spoilt, vacuous princess. You came here for advice and that is what you got. It is so evident you cannot take any criticism. Sorry darling, you’re not the favourite here!

 

[ChloChlo]

This comes from a place of understanding and experience, a lot of what you have mentioned resonates with my own personal experience within my family.

We celebrated our 12 yr wedding anniversary this year, and although I look back fondly on my wedding day it wasn't MY wedding, it was my mother's wedding. But do you know what? I don't care. My marriage has been built on many other days/experiences/hard times.

Yes, I understand the need to have control over your wedding day, but be careful of ruining relationships that you may need after that one significant event. Those are what last a lifetime and matter. It's hard to see that now but trust me, you will wake up the day after your wedding and won't give a tit about that leather jacket.

This!

My first wedding certainly wasn't my own! I did not even know many of the people there. We let our parents pick a majority of our guests. Albeit the mother in law went a bit OTT inviting some very vague people... but regardless, to us, it was their day too and they wanted to show us off.

Getting married is like christmas. There will be a severe anti climax the day after this woman's wedding when she realises the whole thing will be yesterdays chip paper to everybody else. The more immature she is, the more she will feel it. Leather jacket, shleather jacket.

 

[WilmaHun]

Alright I'm done.

I obviously should have opened with alot more context because your all absolutely missing the point.

Right for starters. My brother's are shocking with money and every time I've invited them out for tea for birthdays or anniversarys for my parents they let me down "sorry can't afford it" so I'm right to think "yeah it's a big ask to expect them to travel and stay over for our wedding" so I never just said "your not invited byeeee" I said "we've chosen to have just our parents and grandparents at the ceremony, but we are hoping to have a big party for family and friends at a later date so we can all celebrate together!"

To which... I got "Congratulations hope it's everything you want" and "congratulations guys" the other sibling said nothing. And all 3 in-laws said jack tit as well.

Oh my god! Such typical self-indulgent, spoilt, bratty behaviour. Doesn't get the answer she hoped for so instead of looking at it through a new perspective she tells everyone else they're wrong and claims she's "done"!

Hun, you're a proper pampered princess. I feel sorry for your soon to be husband, lets hope you don't have any disagreements in the future as he's clearly never going to be right!

 

[Ohflogoff]

just sharing a hunch, I feel this thread is a complete parallel to OPs relationships and her reactions are acting how how she behaves in relationships IRL.

 

[Chocolatelover123]

I think most of the points have been said but have you thought that your mum wants your sister to feel a part of it and that’s why she’s showing her pictures? She’s an excited mum her baby is getting married, she helped bring you up she will want her to feel a part

I think the issue runs deeper but I’m confused by your reasons for not inviting your sister. I would say though I wouldn’t take it personal about her not asking every detail on your wedding especially when she had a small wedding. Things that were important to you like flowers etc might not even have crossed her mind. My friend had a small wedding and when it came to planning mine she didn’t ask anything not because she didn’t care but it didn’t matter to her, did you ask her anything when it was her wedding?

 

[Helen]

Locked as requested by OP