My boyfriend of 4 years has blocked me

[squacksquack]

Some great advice here.

I just wanted to add that closure isn’t something that anyone else can give you. It’s something you give yourself by processing and moving on. Take back your autonomy.

 

[flutternutter]

Some great advice here.

I just wanted to add that closure isn’t something that anyone else can give you. It’s something you give yourself by processing and moving on. Take back your autonomy.

Exactly
I always wondered why my ex did this to me, but now i know. He was a prick, he didn't want to grow up. Life got serious and he ran. It was very much a HIM problem. His family didnt think i was good enough and now? Im more successful than any of his lot! and happier

 

[IGiveUp22]

Some great advice on here already. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I really hope you are trying to take care of yourself throughout all of this.

I second the police or even prior to doing this, message the friend (if you’re still able to) with nothing other than “I am contacting you as I am unable to contact X. I want my belongings back and that is all I am concerned about. If I hear nothing/don’t receive them by X date, I have no other option but to make a police report. I would rather it not get to this but I want my belongings back (then list them). Please can you forward this on to X, thank you”.
Then obviously if you still hear nothing, report it. You’ve given him an opportunity to give you your property back and he hasn’t done it - this will look much better in the police report.

Also, having had an ex actual steal from me (abusive relationship) I never got my property back, even after police involvement. I actually think he sold it not long after he got it tbh but it was my laptop with over 10 years worth of sentimental photos on, my uni work etc that I can never get back. I still go through phases of being angry over it but there is nothing I can do. So just be prepared you may have to accept not having your belongings back. Some people are honestly absolute horrors and sadly they’re usually the closest people to you.
Take care of yourself and I hope you do get your things back x

 

[JellyDonut]

I hope you get your stuff back OP.

 

[mozzarellagirl]

Please don’t worry about coming across as the psycho ex girlfriend to his friends/family. From everything you’ve said, he’s the psycho ex boyfriend for behaving like this and you’ve done nothing wrong.

No matter what OP does, hes going to label her the psycho ex anyway, to make himself the victim / look better. So she might as well get her tit back
---

If there’s anything I’ve learned about men like that it’s that you’re always the psycho to them. And they will tell everyone around them that you are the psycho. He wants everyone in his life to think bad of you and ignore you so he can look innocent or play the victim and in the meantime he’s getting to hold the cards giving you the run around. You don’t get closure from people like him, but hopefully you can get your stuff back

Post him a formal letter just about getting your stuff back, nothing else. Give him a time limit to give your belongings back ahead of taking a legal route.

Yes exactly, I didn't see this before my prior comment.
---

He's painting you into the psycho narrative. Everything you do just tallys up to those hes told.
You cant rationalise these ppl, its like a switch just flicks and they are gone.

This is painfully true, so many men are like this. Flick of a switch and suddenly its like a stranger infront of you

 

[judgejohndeed]

So sorry you’re going through this OP. I think people don’t realise the harm that ghosting someone like this causes, it’s one thing to ghost someone after one date but after years and a miscarriage together? It’s inexcusable behaviour, the worst part is if you keep trying to contact him as well he could actually get a court order to prevent you speaking to him or going near him so I agree with others telling you to back off now. I imagine at some point he will come crawling back as this type always do and I hope you tell him where to go. Cowardly little twit.

 

[Tangent Tiger]

What an absolute weirdo, no wonder you're in a whirlwind.

 

[Dogtanian]

Call me cynical and evil but there's something in this tale which doesn't add up.
The drip feeding of information - not visiting his parents, no mutual friends apart from this one guy, not turning up when they knew he'd be in, no key to his place after 4 years (as someone pointed out). No further updates from OP. Dormant account and then becomes active. The message length, composition and punctuation is a little too good for someone in so much grief.

 

[laughing]

Call me cynical and evil but there's something in this tale which doesn't add up.
The drip feeding of information - not visiting his parents, no mutual friends apart from this one guy, not turning up when they knew he'd be in, no key to his place after 4 years (as someone pointed out). No further updates from OP. Dormant account and then becomes active. The message length, composition and punctuation is a little too good for someone in so much grief.

Well said.

 

[Bob93]

Call me cynical and evil but there's something in this tale which doesn't add up.
The drip feeding of information - not visiting his parents, no mutual friends apart from this one guy, not turning up when they knew he'd be in, no key to his place after 4 years (as someone pointed out). No further updates from OP. Dormant account and then becomes active. The message length, composition and punctuation is a little too good for someone in so much grief.

100% , think a lot of us have been thinking this from the start.

 

[onservantannie]

Call me cynical and evil but there's something in this tale which doesn't add up.
The drip feeding of information - not visiting his parents, no mutual friends apart from this one guy, not turning up when they knew he'd be in, no key to his place after 4 years (as someone pointed out). No further updates from OP. Dormant account and then becomes active. The message length, composition and punctuation is a little too good for someone in so much grief.

Completely agree….!

 

[Lorny]

Call me cynical and evil but there's something in this tale which doesn't add up.
The drip feeding of information - not visiting his parents, no mutual friends apart from this one guy, not turning up when they knew he'd be in, no key to his place after 4 years (as someone pointed out). No further updates from OP. Dormant account and then becomes active. The message length, composition and punctuation is a little too good for someone in so much grief.

Yeah, I added the ‘sorry you’re going through this’ at the end of my post in case there was truth to it but the fact she didn’t mention her sister had passed away until a later post was odd. All seems a bit strange.

 

[Megansnarkle]

Call me cynical and evil but there's something in this tale which doesn't add up.
The drip feeding of information - not visiting his parents, no mutual friends apart from this one guy, not turning up when they knew he'd be in, no key to his place after 4 years (as someone pointed out). No further updates from OP. Dormant account and then becomes active. The message length, composition and punctuation is a little too good for someone in so much grief.

Punctuation is too good for someone in so much grief?! Whilst there may be something to be said for the rest of it, I'm not sure my punctuation changes depending on my emotional state, maybe a few more exclamation points when furious....

 

[Marsha97]

Wow, there's some really horrible people on the internet isn't they. Wish I'd never posted on here now. I came on here cos I was desperate & wanted to know/see if anyone else had experienced this & I wanted some advice also. I didn't give every single bit of information all at once no which is perfectly fine, I have every right to share what I want, when I want. Yous aren't entitled to know anything about me or my life btw. Also, as for the punctuation, not sure what difference that is going to make tbh? Is changing the way I write going to bring my baby back, my sister or my partner? No it's not so honestly why is my punctuation even relevant. Also it's not for you to judge how people deal with grief, everyone is different. I did turn up when I thought he'd be in, I went there after 11pm as he sometimes finishes at 8.30/9/10/10.30, so I thought my best bet was to go after 11 to ensure he'd be in but he wasn't in so he obviously went somewhere after work/is staying somewhere else atm. As for his family, they're going through a lot right now, I don't really want to just turn up at his families house.

 

[Dogtanian]

... I'm not sure my punctuation changes depending on my emotional state, maybe a few more exclamation points when furious....

So it does change then?

Wow, there's some really horrible people on the internet isn't they. Wish I'd never posted on here now. I came on here cos I was desperate & wanted to know/see if anyone else had experienced this & I wanted some advice also. I didn't give every single bit of information all at once no which is perfectly fine, I have every right to share what I want, when I want. Yous aren't entitled to know anything about me or my life btw

Are you new to the internet if you think this is really horrible? Anyway, here you are 4 days later not bothering to update anyone on your problems. Are they done? Did you get in touch? Did you speak to his parents? or are we not allowed to know because you have the right to share "what you want, when you want" and we're not entitled to know anything? (Which kinda misses the point of asking in advice)

 

[Marsha97]

So it does change then?


Are you new to the internet if you think this is really horrible? Anyway, here you are 4 days later not bothering to update anyone on your problems. Are they done? Did you get in touch? Did you speak to his parents? or are we not allowed to know because you have the right to share "what you want, when you want" and we're not entitled to know anything? (Which kinda misses the point of asking in advice)

I aren't new to the Internet no, I used to come on here years ago but then I stopped & I was looking for advice forums & this popped up & I recognized it cos used to come on here so thought I'd make a post on here. I didn't get in touch no, his friends/coworkers are saying they don't wanna get involved which I kinda get but then I also think this situation should be an exception. I haven't spoke to his mam no, he doesn't bother with his dad so I don't know him. His mam is dealing with a lot & I don't want to bring her into this, I feel it's him that's done wrong so why get his mam involved? It's not her fault & it's something she could do without right now. I aren't gonna apologise for not saying every single thing all at once, I wanted to share everything when I was comfortable to do so.

 

[Dogtanian]

When dealing with attention seekers and trolls, "If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then it's probably a duck"
...and on that note, I'm done.

 

[onservantannie]

Wow, there's some really horrible people on the internet isn't they. Wish I'd never posted on here now. I came on here cos I was desperate & wanted to know/see if anyone else had experienced this & I wanted some advice also. I didn't give every single bit of information all at once no which is perfectly fine, I have every right to share what I want, when I want. Yous aren't entitled to know anything about me or my life btw. Also, as for the punctuation, not sure what difference that is going to make tbh? Is changing the way I write going to bring my baby back, my sister or my partner? No it's not so honestly why is my punctuation even relevant. Also it's not for you to judge how people deal with grief, everyone is different. I did turn up when I thought he'd be in, I went there after 11pm as he sometimes finishes at 8.30/9/10/10.30, so I thought my best bet was to go after 11 to ensure he'd be in but he wasn't in so he obviously went somewhere after work/is staying somewhere else atm. As for his family, they're going through a lot right now, I don't really want to just turn up at his families house.

BIB - of course he was out or is staying somewhere else… with his new partner who is probably mature enough not to run to the internet for advice on a relationship that clearly had more holes than a sieve in it. Good luck hun (him, not you )

 

[Suzesnooze]

Punctuation is too good for someone in so much grief?! Whilst there may be something to be said for the rest of it, I'm not sure my punctuation changes depending on my emotional state, maybe a few more exclamation points when furious....

I think they meant that if you look at their previous posting (as it was a dormant account) that they didn't write in the same way previously! Although today they're back to their old style!

 

[JodieGreen123]

Well this thread has taken quite the turn. I’m glad I wasn’t the only one thinking things didn’t quite add up!