Have a great time in DLP it is a wonderful place and this is the best time to go, so Christmassy, but wrap up warm!The absolute abject nastiness and scathing comments and vitriol over people cutting some pancakes into Christmas shapes is quite something. A grass is desperately in need of a touch! I had a rotten bleeping childhood and will do everything I can to give my child the complete polar (see what I did there!) opposite. I'd rather be making Santa hats out of strawberries than sat around obsessing over class and thinking fairy lights on bleeping sheep is aspirational.
We're off to Disneyland Paris tomorrow for 4 days and we'll be having a North Pole Breakfast before we set off. Taking the kid out of school for a long weekend too, so duck you you joyless manky bleak dismal dreary cunts. AND I'm putting all my Christmas trees up before we go, yes TREES, I had 6 at last count, QUELLE HOREUR
Mumsnet #8 Give us a diagram, you CF.
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I think for me, the thing that gets my hole twitching the most is the text composers*, They are all so umbelievably pompous and cunty
"Dear MIL
I regret to inform you that forthwith we shall no longer be visiting your home establishment. For the next yuletide it is my duty to make you aware that we shall be remaining in our own place of residence and we shall continue this arrangement in perpitutity. Please do not ask to visit at this time as our refusal to grant you entrance will likely end in offense.
We remain your most humble servants and we look forward to receiving you for supper on the Sabbath. Please make sure to arrive between 6 and 6.10pm and departure will be at 8.30pm promptly. A small gift, although not expected, would be extremely welcome. I include a link detailing appropriate gifts, please do not deviate from it.
Yours sincerely
Cuntchops"
*Although thinking about it the poem writers are another bunch of wankers.
"Dear MIL
I regret to inform you that forthwith we shall no longer be visiting your home establishment. For the next yuletide it is my duty to make you aware that we shall be remaining in our own place of residence and we shall continue this arrangement in perpitutity. Please do not ask to visit at this time as our refusal to grant you entrance will likely end in offense.
We remain your most humble servants and we look forward to receiving you for supper on the Sabbath. Please make sure to arrive between 6 and 6.10pm and departure will be at 8.30pm promptly. A small gift, although not expected, would be extremely welcome. I include a link detailing appropriate gifts, please do not deviate from it.
Yours sincerely
Cuntchops"
*Although thinking about it the poem writers are another bunch of wankers.
Yes! That thread was something else. I opened it thinking a North Pole breakfast was a bit much but the vitriol got me firmly on the side of the festive breakfasts, so much so that we’re doing one at the weekend.The absolute abject nastiness and scathing comments and vitriol over people cutting some pancakes into Christmas shapes is quite something. A grass is desperately in need of a touch! I had a rotten bleeping childhood and will do everything I can to give my child the complete polar (see what I did there!) opposite. I'd rather be making Santa hats out of strawberries than sat around obsessing over class and thinking fairy lights on bleeping sheep is aspirational.
We're off to Disneyland Paris tomorrow for 4 days and we'll be having a North Pole Breakfast before we set off. Taking the kid out of school for a long weekend too, so duck you you joyless manky bleak dismal dreary cunts. AND I'm putting all my Christmas trees up before we go, yes TREES, I had 6 at last count, QUELLE HOREUR
Enjoy Disneyland! I obviously would never spend so much on such tacky fake joy. I will be camping in the wild with just my picture based advent calendar for company. Just so you’re aware, this makes me a better person than you.Tinkly laugh.
But still buy their clothes from Boden, Toast, Hush and Seasalt because they have limited imaginations and don't realise their stuff is made in the same sweatshops Primark use.
Also the poor MIL who is being written to, sometimes turns out to have committed a very minor offence a hundred years ago that should be forgotten about by now. 
Most likely that minor offence was having the audacity to ask to meet the baby before it developed wisdom teeth.Also the poor MIL who is being written to, sometimes turns out to have committed a very minor offence a hundred years ago that should be forgotten about by now.
Out of curiosity, has anybody actually ever seen a post of one of our esteemed, classy, size 6 supermodels wearing their balenchiaga in the haute fashion haven that is the style board? Anybody?
How very dare she!
Does anyone remember that daft bint who declared she was invoking 'babymoon' for the first month of her child's life during which nobody other than her and her husband could interact with the infant. After that, grandparents could visit by appointment, weekends only, between 4pm and 6pm.
Lunatics like her will be posting again in 3 years time, moaning about grandparents refusing to provide free childcare or buy expensive presents for their precious child.
Added to which, the definition of babymoon is a relaxing or romantic holiday taken by parents-to-be before their baby is born, not banning people from breathing the same air as the new baby.
Lunatics like her will be posting again in 3 years time, moaning about grandparents refusing to provide free childcare or buy expensive presents for their precious child.
Added to which, the definition of babymoon is a relaxing or romantic holiday taken by parents-to-be before their baby is born, not banning people from breathing the same air as the new baby.
I remember that one. She will 100% be moaning in years to come that the MIL hasn’t taken an interest in the child, although it always makes me laugh when people who haven’t had kids yet set out rules as to what will happen after the baby has arrived. It all goes to tit once they’re born and you realise you have this bundle of snot and slavver attached to you 24/7 and you can’t even go to the bog on your own for 5 minutes without a screaming fit. I think she was imagining a sweet little rosey cheeked cherub curled up between her and the DH, tenderly stroking its hair to the faint strains of Bach, where in reality she will have been knackered and desperate for sleep while her partner pretends not to know how to make a bottle up or where the nappies are.when I had my firstborn, I let anyone who offered hold him and cuddle him, including my in laws and parents because my husband thought paternity leave was a chance to get all the DIY jobs done round the house 
I see the mystery vibrator thread got updated with the OP saying her husband thought it was a torch and it was left under their windscreen wiper.
Of all the possible reasons she could have come up with she chooses that??
Of all the possible reasons she could have come up with she chooses that??
The text composers! Yes!
They claim to speak in a way that is so ridiculous! I remember a thread asking for speech’s to give when someone turns up unannounced (the absolute horror!) and it was just absurd! One speech was something like ‘hello Anna, as previously discussed I cannot accept visitors unannounced. Please call ahead as discussed before’ the poster then said ‘and then close the door!’
As if anyone would do that in real life!!
How can it be possible to stick a vibrator under a windscreen wiper? And why is she unable to upload a photo of this pretend device? I think it was a vape all along, but she wasn't aware of such things thus immediately assumed hubby was getting it on with a prossie, instead of having a sneaky nicotine hit on his way to work.I see the mystery vibrator thread got updated with the OP saying her husband thought it was a torch and it was left under their windscreen wiper.
Of all the possible reasons she could have come up with she chooses that??
) they immediately thought vibe. PratsHas anyone read the husband farting one? The poster is a crazy vegan. Worth reading her posts!
I just can't imagine being so callous as to deny my parents/in laws the chance to meet their grandchild as a newborn.
OMG i love you lot! Have been on hiatus, having a rest and all that. Which roughly translates to having some work in, then sleeping a lot, and noodling around on other websites like reddit ghost/glitch stories and one pan bean feast recipes. I'm incredibly diverse don't you know 
Popped onto MN a few nights ago, spent a couple of hours there reading about cholesterol (don't ask) and wondered why, after a wee while I felt so unutterably depressed. It's been a while, so I am not a regular there anymore, but jesus henry, what a frightful bunch they are! It's still all about class identification (whilst insisting we don't have a class system - hypocrites!) and how one managed to marry 'well' and push our progeny into private education. Private education isn't even common amongst the middle classes, I wonder if they even know that, or perhaps have some severely crossed wires. Crikey, don't these tools have anything else to live for? What is their everyday state of mind? I came away feeling like I'd eaten too much angel delight and needed to puke it back up. I felt mired in a glut of insecure, postulating shite-hawks.
After so long away, I can only say that the place stank of insecurity and fear. Each and every one is an expert on something, from food to child rearing to walking their bleeping dogs. There's no humility or nuance, no actual discussion - every thread is a tit show of egotistical peacock feathering, anger and one upmanship, Best to give it a wide berth if you have any sensitivity at all. Maybe ok for a laugh once in a while. I truly hope they don't actually represent the average middle aged woman in the UK. I strongly doubt they do. I want to yelp to the world that we are not all like that!
Also, marshabradyO or whatever she is called pops up on every thread as an expert on all things. I am only going to presume she isn't an expert on having an actual life offline.
Popped onto MN a few nights ago, spent a couple of hours there reading about cholesterol (don't ask) and wondered why, after a wee while I felt so unutterably depressed. It's been a while, so I am not a regular there anymore, but jesus henry, what a frightful bunch they are! It's still all about class identification (whilst insisting we don't have a class system - hypocrites!) and how one managed to marry 'well' and push our progeny into private education. Private education isn't even common amongst the middle classes, I wonder if they even know that, or perhaps have some severely crossed wires. Crikey, don't these tools have anything else to live for? What is their everyday state of mind? I came away feeling like I'd eaten too much angel delight and needed to puke it back up. I felt mired in a glut of insecure, postulating shite-hawks.
After so long away, I can only say that the place stank of insecurity and fear. Each and every one is an expert on something, from food to child rearing to walking their bleeping dogs. There's no humility or nuance, no actual discussion - every thread is a tit show of egotistical peacock feathering, anger and one upmanship, Best to give it a wide berth if you have any sensitivity at all. Maybe ok for a laugh once in a while. I truly hope they don't actually represent the average middle aged woman in the UK. I strongly doubt they do. I want to yelp to the world that we are not all like that!
Also, marshabradyO or whatever she is called pops up on every thread as an expert on all things. I am only going to presume she isn't an expert on having an actual life offline.
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Yes! This poster irritates me so much! She pops up on political threads quite often (which to be fair to mumsnet are often very astute, and you can play “at least X knows what a woman is” bingo) as if she’s some kind of expert, but she never is. She’s just regurgitating shite she’s read somewhere else, and yet she clearly thinks she’s so clever. She’s bloody smug about the effects of lockdown and loves to say she told everyone so at the time. So glad it’s not just me who finds her unbelievably annoying.
And we're off... although unusually for MN the OP has already written her message.
'As much as I wasn't looking forward to hosting her over Christmas, I also didn't want to leave to find out that she couldn't visit only days before Christmas. At least now she has time to make alternative plans. No FIL in the picture, but we haven't actually spent Christmas with her for about 7-8 years I think, so she has friends and family that she usually spends time with.
So I told MIL that trains were an issue due to strikes etc and it would be better if we saw her after Christmas, she sent a message back to say that she agreed but now DH is fuming and refusing to speak to me. He says I'm controlling and won't allow his family to visit...'
'As much as I wasn't looking forward to hosting her over Christmas, I also didn't want to leave to find out that she couldn't visit only days before Christmas. At least now she has time to make alternative plans. No FIL in the picture, but we haven't actually spent Christmas with her for about 7-8 years I think, so she has friends and family that she usually spends time with.
So I told MIL that trains were an issue due to strikes etc and it would be better if we saw her after Christmas, she sent a message back to say that she agreed but now DH is fuming and refusing to speak to me. He says I'm controlling and won't allow his family to visit...'
On that point too, I always note that those who profess not to care about class seek out every single class based thread to tell everyone that. And that upper class people are lovely, drive Volvos and love dogs.OMG i love you lot! Have been on hiatus, having a rest and all that. Which roughly translates to having some work in, then sleeping a lot, and noodling around on other websites like reddit ghost/glitch stories and one pan bean feast recipes. I'm incredibly diverse don't you know
Popped onto MN a few nights ago, spent a couple of hours there reading about cholesterol (don't ask) and wondered why, after a wee while I felt so unutterably depressed. It's been a while, so I am not a regular there anymore, but jesus henry, what a frightful bunch they are! It's still all about class identification (whilst insisting we don't have a class system - hypocrites!) and how one managed to marry 'well' and push our progeny into private education. Private education isn't even common amongst the middle classes, I wonder if they even know that, or perhaps have some severely crossed wires. Crikey, don't these tools have anything else to live for? What is their everyday state of mind? I came away feeling like I'd eaten too much angel delight and needed to puke it back up. I felt mired in a glut of insecure, postulating shite-hawks.
After so long away, I can only say that the place stank of insecurity and fear. Each and every one is an expert on something, from food to child rearing to walking their bleeping dogs. There's no humility or nuance, no actual discussion - every thread is a tit show of egotistical peacock feathering, anger and one upmanship, Best to give it a wide berth if you have any sensitivity at all. Maybe ok for a laugh once in a while. I truly hope they don't actually represent the average middle aged woman in the UK. I strongly doubt they do. I want to yelp to the world that we are not all like that!
Also, marshabradyO or whatever she is called pops up on every thread as an expert on all things. I am only going to presume she isn't an expert on having an actual life offline.
Finally some fool arrives to post wisely that ‘money talks but wealth whispers’. 🥱
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