Mumsnet #64 New thread. NOW

[Geetbo]

Maybe shitsnake has attacked?

 

[Aab41]

My Dear sister in law is obviously a mumsnetter. Happened to mention on weekend how my kids are costing me a fortune as they eat at least a punnet of strawberries a day, apparently they are full of sugar and therefore evil. I'm just glad they are eating something that isn't chocolate!

 

[RosePetals]

Viviennemary is a weapon's grade cunt.

She’ll do anything to disagree with an OP. I saw her awhile ago on one thread disagreeing with the OP. Not long afterwards she was on another thread on giving an opposite opinion to what she’d said on the first thread, just for the sake of disagreeing with the OP.

 

[Iamthebosun]

Fuck sake the dwarf thread has gone. I was halfway through it before I had to abandon it as people were trying to make a porno in my local spoons.

Please continue your story. Now.

 

[Miss Begotten]

He looks like he never changes his underpants!!

Im assuming you’re talking about the next Mr Begotten?
If I ever work out how to breach the restraining order he wouldn’t have time to put any underpants on in the first place, let alone change them.

 

[Miss Begotten]

I’d say she’s also strict lights off missionary girl too. Once a month.

A MONTH? No bloody way. Once she’d done her wifely duty and presented her DH with Percival and Orecchiette I guarantee she shut up shop for good.

 

[qqwertyy]

They’re so weird about what they consider infidelity. This comment is to an OP who has a crush on a colleague. They’ve never acted on it because he doesn’t even know
(Nobody tell her about the Coldplay incident, she’ll drop dead from indignation)

 

[Iamthebosun]

If I saw some poor soul wearing this I’d assume it was laundry day or she was suffering poor mental health. My first thought would not be “wow! That’s a beautiful £400 ensemble”.

She looks like someone without a working carbon monoxide alarm whose hallucinations have made them think they're carrie Bradshaw.

 

[Serene Serena]

They're obsessed with toilets.
One went round to visit a friend and:

After an half an hour or so I said I would pop to use the loo and she casually told me ‘oh - the toilet seat broke the other day so there isn’t one on there’.

She's apparently overweight and, hence, couldn't "hover" as her friend suggested.
Why she'd have to hover is a mystery to me. She's no more likely to break the toilet bowl with her gargantuan (size 10 probably) body with or without a seat.
Or is it a stealth have-a-go-at-fatties one?

I think it’s the piss troll. He’s wanting anecdotes about ladies hovering over toilet bowls, dirty pig.

 

[Brandshinynew]

I know. It’s a pity those threads died a death. I used to look forward to my daily dose as they were such a rich source of entertainment.

I remember the weird husband in the corner who got roped into the pictures everyday.

 

[windowlickinggood]

View attachment 3645053

Is there anything similar, anything at all, that we can come up with like Uniqorne? Anybody?

I know a family with children called Artemis and Boudicca.

 

[Zara zara]

Jane can get to fuck

 

[Iamthebosun]

That space between cold and play makes the post simply incomprehensible of course
View attachment 3643265

What is cold play?

What is an affair

What is a video?

What is hugging?

 

[Miss Begotten]

Currently in active

My DS (35) has had a few long-term relationships, but never married. I get the feeling this one might be "the one". Because he's always had different girls hanging around when my DD had her baby she didn't feel comfortable with the constant changing of arm candy. As such we stopped inviting them all round together. He may or may not turn up to ours with a girlfriend, so we just wouldn't invite them at the same time.
He phones regularly, but we don't see him much now to be honest. When we speak I ask what he's up to and he'll mention going out with his GF's mum or meeting up with her and her sisters for an outing. I have mentioned to him that we'd like to meet her, but he keeps batting away the suggestions.
I know he knows that his sister is the reason he stopped being invited to Sunday lunch and things, I did agree with his sister, that explaining the changing of companions was awkward with a small child, which is why I allowed it. But now, this girl has been 2 years, and he is very much involved with her family. I feel like I've broken something and have no idea how to fix it.

Arm candy? Fucking hell. And she wonders why her son doesn’t want to introduce them.

 

[Iamthebosun]

That is a bad dog OWNER.

So you don't agree with the reply that told the OP she should track down the dog owner and offer to pay any vet bills because she left dog-dangerous food unattended then

 

[TheMiceInTheShed]

I’ve just learned to photosynthesise so I consume nothing x

And I still feel a bit flabby atm as I’m taking in too much sunlight.

Sunshine and butter are the same colour for a reason, you know.

Have you never heard of SCIENCE?

 

[ohnomyhat]

Now I've got "Mormons in the street" to the tune of "Islands in the stream" in my head

Mormons in the street,
I am so sorry -
We cannot talk today,
I like to drink coffee

You are wasting youth
Going door-to-door
When you should be drunkenly shagging, uh-huuuhh

 

[HelenaHandbasket]

Bloody hell. I live there. I might go to the bus station to see Shithole in the wild.

On the thread about her son's schooling she gave away that she lives within 3 miles of a school - which means she lives really far too close to me for comfort! I live within 3 miles of the same school - so live a max of 6 miles away from her, and potentially a lot less.

 

[Chickpeas]

YOU DO NOT MENTION THAT HUSSYS NAME ON THIS THREAD.

Mum how did you get on tattle

 

[Iamthebosun]

Discussing crushes and this happens.

THERAPY. NOW.