Mumsnet #41 A cesspit of superiority, casual racism, loathing, and tinkly laughter

[CrimsonCountess]

For anyone new to Mumsnet and needing a recap, this pretty much sums it up

They hate:
Fat people
Kids
Old people
Their husbands
Their husbands family
Their neighbours
Dogs
Carbs
Skinny jeans

If you’re skinny and willing to spend £350 on a dress made from an old hessian sack then they’ll love you. Unless you’re friends with their husband

 

[Allthatjaz]

For anyone new to Mumsnet and needing a recap, this pretty much sums it up

They hate:
Fat people
Kids
Old people
Their husbands
Their husbands family
Their neighbours
Dogs
Carbs
Skinny jeans

If you’re skinny and willing to spend £350 on a dress made from an old hessian sack then they’ll love you. Unless you’re friends with their husband

Nailed it!

 

[Serene Serena]

Mumsnetters, on the other hand, LOVE expensive and obscure clothing brands such as Cub and Pudding and Wolf and Badger, their teenage sons are all 6ft tall rugby playing athletes, their teenage daughters are teeny tiny slender waifs, all their children are gifted and talented, their husbands all earn more than 6 figures and a lot of them (the husbands) are close personal friends with either the Prime Minister, King Charles or someone working for MI5, and are happy to breach privacy laws by disclosing confidential information.

 

[Itchy of Itchington]

On paper I have a lot of things that could make me a Mumsnetter. Detached house with soon to be no mortgag, 1 boy 1 girl who are both and a husband who has a lot of money and we both went to Russell Group universities. However I'm fat and we live in the north and I don't hate all other people. If I lose weight though then all my dresses will be shapeless sacks

 

[Serene Serena]

On paper I have a lot of things that could make me a Mumsnetter. Detached house with soon to be no mortgag, 1 boy 1 girl who are both and a husband who has a lot of money and we both went to Russell Group universities. However I'm fat and we live in the north and I don't hate all other people. If I lose weight though then all my dresses will be shapeless sacks

1 boy 1 girl who are both what???? Gifted and talented? Called Persephone? Teeny tiny? Massive salad eaters?

 

[Iamonlyhereforthetea]

Don’t forget if your experience is different to the 5 mile radius from where they live then you are obviously lying

I am looking forward to the inevitable “shouldn’t they be in school” comments when the Scottish (and I believe Irish) schools break up for summer weeks before the English at the end of this month

 

[HotDawg]

Don’t forget if your experience is different to the 5 mile radius from where they live then you are obviously lying

I am looking forward to the inevitable “shouldn’t they be in school” comments when the Scottish (and I believe Irish) schools break up for summer weeks before the English at the end of this month

“it has not been sunny”
well, Brenda, maybe not for you but it might well have been sunny in other place, you utter muppet!

 

[Serene Serena]

“it has not been sunny”
well, Brenda, maybe not for you but it might well have been sunny in other place, you utter muppet!

Typical response that, when someone posts about not being invited to a barbecue (of which there will be many, many threads) - "it's been raining all day, OP, how can anyone be planning a barbecue?" "it's minus zero outside with gale force winds, how can anyone be planning a barbecue?" and the whole thread descends into bickering about the different weather conditions through the British Isles, and the poor OP who hasn't been invited, is ignored.

 

[Backendofabus]

Biwi is a proper danger.
I mean, she’s practically telling people not to bother exercising, like weight loss is the only reason someone would want to go for a run or something.

 

[ZanzibarDreaming]

Biwi is a proper danger.
I mean, she’s practically telling people not to bother exercising, like weight loss is the only reason someone would want to go for a run or something.

It’s probably because you need to have carbs if you exercise.

 

[Serene Serena]

Biwi is a proper danger.
I mean, she’s practically telling people not to bother exercising, like weight loss is the only reason someone would want to go for a run or something.

She's advocating her low carb bootcamp with no qualifications whatsoever, and encouraging other posters to join her in her disordered eating.

 

[definitelynotvlad]

Don’t forget if your experience is different to the 5 mile radius from where they live then you are obviously lying

I am looking forward to the inevitable “shouldn’t they be in school” comments when the Scottish (and I believe Irish) schools break up for summer weeks before the English at the end of this month

I was reading a thread yesterday about deferring primary school places in Scotland, someone helpfully commented “they’d be the oldest in the year in England” or similar. But the OP isn’t in England?!

 

[Shimmering]

On paper I have a lot of things that could make me a Mumsnetter. Detached house with soon to be no mortgag, 1 boy 1 girl who are both and a husband who has a lot of money and we both went to Russell Group universities. However I'm fat and we live in the north and I don't hate all other people. If I lose weight though then all my dresses will be shapeless sacks

I have a detached house, two hollow legged sons (only one is a rugby player though), and the husband with the 6 figure salary.

Unfortunately I am size Very Fat, from NI, the 6 figure husband is one of those foreign men they love to scaremonger and panic about, I open the door when someone knocks, make workmen snacks and tea and don't have an issue with them using the loo, and we eat one pizza each for dinner instead of sharing one between us and being painfully full afterwards.

So I will never be accepted on MN

 

[definitelynotvlad]

I have a detached house, two hollow legged sons (only one is a rugby player though), and the husband with the 6 figure salary.

Unfortunately I am size Very Fat, from NI, the 6 figure husband is one of those foreign men they love to scaremonger and panic about, I open the door when someone knocks, make workmen snacks and tea and don't have an issue with them using the loo, and we eat one pizza each for dinner instead of sharing one between us and being painfully full afterwards.

So I will never be accepted on MN

I went to Tesco with my mum once and stayed in the car while she shopped because my baby was asleep in the back. She asked if I needed anything (because she didn’t cut me off and change the locks as soon as I turned 18), so I asked if she could just get a couple of pizzas for me & DH for tea. One pizza - she got me ONE pizza - for us both to share, and a bag of salad. We have been NC ever since, naturally.

 

[Iceache]

I’m also fairly MN on paper: fairly large house in affluent area, 6 figure husband,
and two sporty sons with hollow legs, BUT I’m work in an outing public sector job (think teacher) and they hate teachers because we constantly start threads about how our job is harder than everyone else’s. I’m also part time which means my husband is financially controlling me and I should get my life sorted in case his ‘work wife’ (size French) persuades him to leave me for her

 

[bread-pitt]

Don’t forget if your experience is different to the 5 mile radius from where they live then you are obviously lying

I am looking forward to the inevitable “shouldn’t they be in school” comments when the Scottish (and I believe Irish) schools break up for summer weeks before the English at the end of this month

There was someone last week complaining about “hundreds of children” on a cruise. It was pointed out to her that schools in many other countries have already finished for the summer. Here in Florida they finished on May 31. In Texas they finished on May 17. Unless she interviewed each and every child, she can’t possibly know where they go to school.

 

[kendallroysdownfall]

Clearly not a MNetter at all or she would have activated the twit protocol.

Head tilt
Initiate a singsong of, "Did you mean to be so rude?" (extended version)
Tinkly laugh/curl up in survival ball (delete as appropriate)

 

[TheDragonWithAFlagon]

Have you noticed how the 6'4" husbands have disappeared recently? I saw one mention that her ex was 6'5" and took a pretty much available everywhere 34" in a trouser length/standard trousers are impossible to find (to have a barrage of 5'4" women all claim they had legs longer than his ) and all of a sudden, husbands across Mumsnet all became 6'5" instead.

Three months later and somebody posted last week that their 14 year old was 6'8". But despite asking how to get a school blazer to fit his height, said she was able to buy a school blazer from the standard supplier, but it was just a bit wider than his actual chest measurement.

She has, statistically speaking, the tallest Year 9 in the world.

Bet the husbands of Mumsnet suddenly become at least 6'7" now.

 

[TenerifeTigger]

Seen a thread where someone was asking for a tattle code, a poster said it was against the rules and when they apologised for getting it wrong and they were then asked if they could DM a code they just replied....

No.

 

[girlinbrum]

If they aren't racist or transphobic for one day, I might let them see the first digit of a tattle code.