Mumsnet #19 starting fights in empty rooms since 2000.

[Itchy of Itchington]

In the last thread we learned that
Leggings should only be worn by those who are not "large of thigh, or arse, or calf" and especially not nude colours. Unless you are a slender and toned size 8. Check with your husband if he isn't busy with his hobby.

You can and probably should wear a dress that the Amish have rejected as a bit frumpy and a cross body bag. Unless you are fat. In which case wear all black especially at a wedding


Stepkids can and probably should be used as a means of escape from a fire. It not YOUR FAULT their dad loves you so it's an acceptable sacrifice.

People should just get over their MH problems, unless they get anxious about the front door/asking for a seat on the train/talking to family members. In which case it probably should be reported.


Chickens remain massive as do salads and teenage sons

 

[Serene Serena]

Don't forget white trainers and denim jacket (expensive, mind you, not Primark) to wear with your sister wife frock as well as the crossbody bag, so you can recognise other Mumsnetters in the wild.

 

[Affiliatemebaby]

Thank you. I’m still crying and shaking from an hour this morning when I couldn’t call 999 to report my neighbour using an electric drill at 10.30am on a Sunday.

 

[Serene Serena]

My neighbour had a party last night. I'm dismayed to report that there was only low level chatter and barely heard music, all of which stopped bang on midnight, when they all upped and went indoors. I was debating whether to log it with 101 or notify the council noise nuisance neighbours from hell department, when I remembered I was actually at the party, because my neighbour isn't a narcissistic sociopath (she does have a hot tub though) and invited us all.

 

[cowtastrophe]

As a Tattle newbie, I’m thrilled that my post ended up as the new title! That’s made my day.

 

[Serene Serena]

As a Tattle newbie, I’m thrilled that my post ended up as the new title! That’s made my day.

It sums up Mumsnet in a heartbeat, well done.

 

[CoffeeMamma]

I need you lot to talk some sense into me I’ve just seen a thread about no food at a kids party. I do our kids parties 2-4 and just do drink and snack about 3, then cake near the end. No food washer and less hassle. Then I saw this comment… I’m now convinced that every parent at school hates me. (I’m autistic for reference and social cues are hard for me sometimes)
Please remind me they’re all dickheads
Or am I for once BU

 

[Affiliatemebaby]

Afternoon parties are between meals really. I think the ones my lot have been to mostly do a meal as it’s usually included if at a venue, but if not, it would make no difference as I’d just feed them dinner as usual. Children can go five hours without eating a meal.

 

[CoffeeMamma]

They’re proper going IN on these parents, saying they should name and shame them on social media, not attend their parties anymore, etc! Is this what people do?!

 

[Itchy of Itchington]

N

They’re proper going IN on these parents, saying they should name and shame them on social media, not attend their parties anymore, etc! Is this what people do?!

Normal parents don't. My kids were invited to a party at the cricket club 1-3. We arrived, the party parents were doing shots, they put a load of bags of crisps on the tables which the 8 year olds used as weapons to throw at each other. The magician nearly had a nervous breakdown and then at the end he made everyone a balloon animal, the kids got sweetiecones and there was no cake. I texted my husband to say it was like Lord of the Flies with wotsits but that was it. No shaming on WhatsApp, no standing at the school gate and shunning them. We just went on with our lives and the kids got an early tea that night

If I posted on Mumsnet I would have been told to ring the police and social services about it no doubt

 

[smellsofbiscuits]

Afternoon parties are between meals really. I think the ones my lot have been to mostly do a meal as it’s usually included if at a venue, but if not, it would make no difference as I’d just feed them dinner as usual. Children can go five hours without eating a meal.

Please introduce my children to these children. My guys would phone Child line if they didn't get hourly snacks

 

[Gym&Tonic]

There is thread on there at the moment which is a very thinly veiled snobby attack on all inclusive holidays. OP is on one at the moment but still managed to find the time to post on Mumsnet asking if maybe they just don’t suit her family because she finds the Food poor quality and samey, far too many chips and omelettes and the dining room Is full of families with young children. Cue responses about how they are for greedy people who like to drink and eat far too much. Honestly I’ve been to a few of these hotels and some are better than others, but you don’t have to stay in the hotel you can go out as well to eat if you fancy change.

 

[Serene Serena]

I need you lot to talk some sense into me I’ve just seen a thread about no food at a kids party. I do our kids parties 2-4 and just do drink and snack about 3, then cake near the end. No food washer and less hassle. Then I saw this comment… I’m now convinced that every parent at school hates me. (I’m autistic for reference and social cues are hard for me sometimes)
Please remind me they’re all dickheads
Or am I for once BU View attachment 2264822

I wouldn't expect more than a drink and a slice of cake for my son at an afternoon activity party - my niece had a bowling party recently and my sister-in-law provided birthday cake, cartons of juice (ooh, the sugar, imagine!) and party bags. I don't think she was the talk of WhatsApp and I think you are perfectly fine just to provide snacks, drinks and cake. Stop worrying @CoffeeMamma they ARE all dickheads.

Mumsnetters make no sense. If the party kids had been given chicken dippers, cocktail sausages and dairylea sandwiches, they would have complained at the lack of nutritional value.

 

[CoffeeMamma]

Omg I love you nusty trolls you have all made me giggle and feel so much better! Consider myself metaphorically slapped

 

[ElChanguito]

I wonder if he thread about teens wearing unitards to a funeral was real or was it fake rage bait? I was surprised that (on the first page at least) they mostly seemed in favour of form fitting streetwear to say one‘s final goodbyes

 

[BethanyGilbert]

The S&B suggestions for what to wear to a festival are wild.

 

[Serene Serena]

Child free group of friends. One friend has had a baby in chat right now. Real or bollocks? I think it's completely made up.

1) How many people have a friendship circle of more than 10, in their 40s, only one of who has a kid?
2) On what planet would a woman with a baby expect her friends, child free or otherwise, to set up a fortnightly baby sitting rota?
3) Newborn baby turns out to be almost 1, and mum is a high earner (obviously, this is Mumsnet) so why hasn't she arranged a professional childminder/nanny/babysitting service by now?

 

[Boring Monday]

The S&B suggestions for what to wear to a festival are wild.

Adds ‘funky’ to list of try-hard words never to be used.
---

N
Normal parents don't. My kids were invited to a party at the cricket club 1-3. We arrived, the party parents were doing shots, they put a load of bags of crisps on the tables which the 8 year olds used as weapons to throw at each other. The magician nearly had a nervous breakdown and then at the end he made everyone a balloon animal, the kids got sweetiecones and there was no cake. I texted my husband to say it was like Lord of the Flies with wotsits but that was it. No shaming on WhatsApp, no standing at the school gate and shunning them. We just went on with our lives and the kids got an early tea that night

If I posted on Mumsnet I would have been told to ring the police and social services about it no doubt

I bet the kids loved it and will use it as the benchmark against which all other parties will be found wanting

 

[Et0n-Mess]

The S&B suggestions for what to wear to a festival are wild.

The first paragraph of this had me cringing!

 

[Serene Serena]

The S&B suggestions for what to wear to a festival are wild.

A poncho and a fedora! How bloody marvellous.
Only Jennifer Aniston can carry that off, without looking like they are heading to a fancy-dress party