Mrs Hinch #601 There’s nothing sadder than Hinch’s Christmas ladder!

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Mrs Hinch #601 There’s nothing sadder than Hinch’s Christmas ladder!
Thanks @choccychops for the hilarious thread title!
As always, mark your title suggestions with "thread suggestion", keep them to the point and swear free (like mummaz says!)

Thread 600 was amazing, thank you everyone!
Buckle up, this is a two thread recap!

She took a day off on Wednesday.
On Thursday she achieved her lifelong ambition of becoming an alpaca with the help of a filter. More on that later.
Later on she chose to reveal the playroom in all it's horror. Hitchcock sponsored the bird stickers on the beam, there were no actual toys visible, and Jimmy couldn't have been more disinterested.
Shambles about covers it.
Slotha sent herself a troll message because she felt the urge to make a tend mess and post about it.

She nipped back online on Thursday night, alpaca filter and all, to showcase what we believe may be the beginning of a descent into madness.

On Friday it was bags of carrots at the ready as the doors were open and the alpacas were inside.
She styled a bunch of expensive ceramic tat on a tray. She's working hard guysh!
Another quick snack creation and this time Sopha impaled a mini-roll with a lolly stick, jammed some pretzels on them and drowned them in icing sugar to create some Rudolph abominations.

Saturday morning brought us more bleeping about with the alpaca filter and the sheep showing off how few braincells they have. A filter doesn't actually show you that way in real life, and the hopefully castrated alpacas aren't looking to shag the spliced Hinch/alpaca monster they think has been created.
In summary, it was just a grim grim comment section.

Teshco factories have been pumping out more shite to put her name on, so naturally she had to show us all! Apparently her window display was inspired by the tat she's produced, so why didn't she use her tat on the display? Why did she spend £300 on posh ceramic tit and not supermarket tit?
She gave us a preview of Ron's chicken costume.
Alpacas were in the house again.
Jimmy played with the boys while she lay on the sofa. We don't call her Sopha for no reason.
Jimmy filmed her practising spitting as an alpaca. UnHinged.
And she signed some bottles of fabric conditioner. Just what we all love, graffitied laundry care products.

On Sunday she was busy packing away the autumn decs so that she had time to read thread 600.
She must have got bored looking at her faces because she came back later to showcase a Home Bargains haul (congrats to the lucky tattler who called that bingo!). Yes she'd spent roughly £70 on decorations for the boys tree. Not that they will get to decorate it themselves.
Sophpaca said goodnight by spitting all over her phone. As you do.

On Monday, she was busy reading thread 600 so we had a quick good morning from an alpaca and then a desenio advert. What better way to show your love for your family than by displaying them generic art on the walls.

Artwork hung, it was time to hang a garland on a fireplace. Or, just film mummaz doing it.
Boys felt tree decorated and the boys themselves put to bed (despite apparently never sleeping well or alone) it was time to clean the sink, make the sink dirty, clean it again, clean a clean hob and worktop and brag about the dogs two bedrooms.
All in a day's work ey Hunch?

She started Tuesday with an undeclared and for soulless Desenio prints and quickly moved on to cackling at herself with the alpaca filter on again. Bit early for appletisers, even if it is approaching the festive season.
Sophie Dolphin Rose revealed another of Wet Gepettos creations, a small side table modelled on the breezeblock tables of 80s urban decor. Shtyled with an undeclared Desenio print and some of her own range.

Now, it's a well accepted fact among scholars that she hasn't read a word on Tattle since Brian Boru ruled over much of Ireland. Though, somehow, she managed to coin the term "Rita Rants" (better known as moaning about stuff with an alpaca filter on) after its use on the thread (@Dizzymichelle credited for that!)
Funnily enough, she was also moaning about the loss of (use of) a nostril. Another hot joke around here.
She had 30 seconds for a quick moan about how the boys weren't playing with a cardboard house how she wanted them to. They were having fun though and that's the point, surely?

In spite of how unprepared she apparently is, on Monday night she revealed a "Christmas corner". In short, it was a crappy ladder covered in crappy decorations. According to Sopha Rose, a ladder in the corner of a dining room is the most logical place to hang a stocking.
To prove her unpreparedness, she then came back with an undeclared ad for her crappy lists book. It's raised a couple of questions though:
Who are Hormone John, Hinch Russ and Hollie Bolly? Why are Jimmy's family and Stacey not on the Christmas card list? Does Jimmy really need another tracksuit? Why can't she spell Popsa if she's such a fan of their products?

The thread continued to limp on through Tuesday morning and Dolphin Dogpie treated us to some soggy alpacas and a stable door. Except it's not a stable door and alpacas shouldn't be in the house to warrant a stable door.

Congrats and All The Vest if you've made it this far, it was a long one!

Sophie Dogpie Dolphin Rose hasn't been invited to turn on the Maldon lights
Jamie short for James is getting some kids size 5's for Christmas. If you nose...
Mummaz Barker disapproves of swearing.
Wet Gepetto is living his best scrap wood life.

Link back to 600 is here:
 

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I don't get the purpose of the stable door? Does she not have a 'boot room' and a whole room for a dog wash? They both clearly never get used 🤣
 
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Remember when she had that weird model of grey skull made and she said she had a special place to put it in the new house....where the duck is it then....???mystery memory room where all the supposed family pics etc are that NOBODY has seen yet🤔
 
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That story “when your a mum and never get to go out” this crazy witch has had more child free time and gone out since becoming a mum than I did even before I had kids 😂

Why did you go to the trouble of getting a boot room and dog shower to then let filthy live stock in the house SOMEONE MAKE IT MAKE SENSES PLEASE
 
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Gone from Rita to bobbing like Chelsea the chavvy chicken 🤦🏻‍♀️ she’s ridiculous with all the free time she has. It’s hard constantly spending money and rubbing peoples noses in it.
 
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Somethings brewing, she always gets a bit cocky before she shares something big

Also if that video was just a jokey message sent to a friend, why put a filter on it?

She chats so much tit 🙄
 
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Recap 👌

She is so unbelievably cringe 🤢

As for not going out as a parent 🤣🤣🤣 wasn’t she walking a sheep and washing her bum bum innit on some getaway when Leonard was barely a few months old? 🙄
 
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Thanks for sharing that exhilarating video of you dancing about or whatever that was to your washing machine sounds.
Sent it to Trace? Ok, that's fine, no need to share it with everyone else. No one cares. I'm sure Trace didn't either tbh.
 
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"when you're a mum and no longer go out".

You and your husband don't have proper jobs and your mum is on tap to look after your kids. duck off Sophie with all this relatable Mum tit.
 
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I have kids and hardly go out,But you dont see me standing next to my washing machine ‘Dancing’ Not that what she was doing resembles any form of dancing 😩🤦🏽‍♀️
 
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That neck 😂

You didn't send it to trace did ya and if ya did why would you filter your face to your best friend?

She's better looking without a filter. She makes herself look like a proper dog with a filter, that's on her. I'm not being a troll. I'm not being nasty, she's used that filter, she's chosen that filter, a filter that looks nothing like that in real life so I'm not being a troll. I'm picking apart a highly filtered face. And it's a unattractive face.

Alpacas in the house again. Dirty cow. It's not funny. It's not cute. It's MINGING.
 
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I enjoyed her saying that she’d emptied her whole mind onto the mind map…that should’ve taken all of about 5 seconds then 👍🏼
 
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So duck Up Fridays given way to Weirdo Wednesdays? OK then.

Quick burst of 'Oh Soph you crack me up' for the sheepies, then quick, hammer them with a Desenio advert. We see your game Hinch, even if the daft sheep don't. Expect some messages from her crazed fans telling her how funny she isnt is later.
 
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🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ I think it's time Sophie got herself a real job / parents her children to keep her busy. She's off her rocker
 
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Sorry but isnt the playroom down off the utility? And she’s letting that bleeping gross horse run about where her kids could be… in a confined space?
 
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