Mrs Hinch #424 Sophie can whitewash perfectly well thank you

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Mrs Hinch #424 - Sophie can whitewash perfectly well thank you

Winning Thread Title By @Pollyanna263
(Winning threads are taken from page 40 onwards guyshhh ATV )

Monday continued like another particularly bad episode of The Repair Shop, one where they make your furniture worse than it looked before and the people working on the furniture are the ones crying all the time.
It was a full house at Castle Greyskull with Big Al on painting duty and Fiddle Fingers and Abi on baby sitting duty all so poor little struggling Soph could carry on with her new hobby of destroying 90s pine furniture like some sort of blonde Essex version of Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen.
She whitewashed yet another mirror and wants to paint a shelf to match her undisclosed ad mug. Her other mug Jamie, who she is using as her own furniture delivery driver, apparently hates her now after his 125th early morning pick up job, so he is welcome to join us on here as long as he doesn’t say oi oi, jugs, or breathe near us.

Tuesday was a quiet day. She must have run out of paint.
But she got going once she spotted Zoe Sugg, who she shares an agent with, talking about the birth of her new baby and so decided to comment on her grid post. A little while later Soph realised Zoe was getting all the attention so decided to post photos of Lenor and Ron the Roadman on to her grid so that all the sheep could lick her bumbuminnit. When that wasn’t getting enough attention she decided to pretend to be Henry and repost the photo of him with her bloody whitewashed mirror. We all know if Henners had internet access he’d be on the JustEat app not the gram Soph, you’re fooling nobody.

A few minutes later and she posted that she was over at Freda Fiddle Fingers for “an evening cuppa” before bed and yes...you’ve guessed it...to browse Facebook Marketplace for more furniture to paint. Please no more mirrors Soph, there’s now more mirrors in that house than in a budgie’s cage.
At this point there really is no way that she isn’t being paid to advertise for Facebook Marketplace. She has even added it as a highlight. We can fully expect to see a video of Len in his cot browsing it on an iPad by the end of the week.
No one in the sheep community seems to be questioning where all this furniture is supposed to be going and Castle Greyskull is now creaking under the weight of 400 tonnes of pine.

Tattlers have been researching houses sold recently in the area and have a few suspicions on where the pine may be headed.

She was posting before 7am on Wednesday to say she wanted to help the little people’s accounts who are suffering due to the charges in Instagrams algorithms...
This has nothing to do with her frantically scrolling the gram to find out why she’s only had 216 views on her upcycling video after 10 hours... her neck will be in flitters!

Jamie’s job seems to have been forgotten about. Presumably either because
A. It didn’t exist and they were trying to stop us calling him a lazy knobhead.
B. We all sussed he was project managing her new house.
C. He just wasn’t a job person and his job has now gone to the job people.

Quick Best bubs update and Hinch still hasn’t even mentioned Stacey’s new collection from ITS but Stacey did appear wearing some Hinch PJs from her Tessshhhco range.
They look like an old vest and knickers that’s been boil washed grey. Tres chic!
Stacey is also suggesting Princess Pickle’s arrival is imminent so expect a full on Hinch drama verrrry soon!

Wiki is the pink button at the top for newbies.
Ronnie and Lennie don’t rhyme.
Sophie doesn’t have a second name she added Rose in her teens.
 

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Reactions: 179
I should know better than to read your recaps with a mouth full of coffee! Excellent work!
 
Reactions: 43
Best one yet!!

Pleeeeeease can someone cleverer than me save these in the wiki? They’re just so funny!!
 
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Henry on Just eat
Jimbob is welcome ad long as he doesn't say oioi jugs or breathe near us - I can't breathe after this recap
Brilliant as always @Bunnykins
 
Reactions: 55
Oooh 3000 new followers out of her 4.1M...someone’s shoutouts have lost their popularity....

 
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@Bunnykins strikes gold again. Particularly enjoyed the paragraph about The Repair Shop
 
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You know she’s desperate when she’s trying to make it look like she’s ‘helping others’ since when did Sopha ever do that
 
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doesn't help that PRICKS like YOU DONT FUCKING TAG SAID SMALL BUSINESSES in posts! Try practising what you preach!!!

I wish sheep would wake tge fuck up and see engagement is low and this the of shit will have them all swooping to page! Also guess they had credit card out to buy followers and what a perfect way to hide the fact then doing some shit like this!!!

She is such a knobhead!!!!

And the person I screenshotted this from is another that fforges to tag!!!
 
Reactions: 52
Absolutely fantastic!! I get so excited when it’s recap time! These are so funny and so clever.
To the moon and back bubs
 
Reactions: 35
@Bunnykins brilliant as always!

Has sofaalpacalovingslob deleted the story about heading to mummas for fiddles fresh teat milk a cuppa and market place scrolling?
 
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Well isn’t she just Mother fucking Theresa with her ‘Hinch Express’ how to draw attention to yourself without actually doing any work at all
 
Reactions: 57
Hilarious recap “that house has more mirrors than a budgies cage” and “creaking under 400 tonnes of pine” also credit for the thread title. Absolutely fucking brilliant.

“just sand the corners, if that makes sense” fucking hell what a joke.
 
Reactions: 51
Another fucking brilliant recap Buns! What would we do without you here?

Oh @Pollyanna263, one of my favs tattlers, class title

Enough of that soppy shit, what the fucks she talking about? Her team 100% sent her that to copy and paste. She doesn't give a cunting shite about small businesses suffering.. She's a real sneaky little fucker isn't she. See you tomorrow when you don't mention the hinch express again and go back to flaunting your marketplace buy no.1030
 
Reactions: 38
Just a little over 1k comments on her grid post...oh Hinch, what's going on. And since when does Hinch help others, is this to gain followers..I mean she wouldn't do anything unless it meant something for her. Selfish prick
 
Reactions: 32
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