Mrs Hinch #415 - I’m A Hedgehog Get Me Out Of Here! 
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@Pollyanna263 
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It’s been a busy week so far at Castle Greyskull as Soph is off school on her summer hols.
Sophie aged 12 and 3/4 started Monday morning off by posting a load of nonsense questions asking her followers what their favourite childhood memories are? What have they achieved? Blah blah blaaaaaahhhh! Obviously she’s since just ignored their replies but hey, it boosted her engagement. Maybe try making sure your own kids have happy childhood memories now Soph instead of focusing solely on your own.
Monday afternoon and Jamie the hubby/daddy/carer/sponger was off on one on his stories. The Hinch’s had descended on the arcades in what we assume was supposed to be a fun day out for little Ronderella. Instead they showed themselves choosing to play games completely unsuitable for his age group, they failed to lift him up so he couldn’t reach anything, they yelled, laughed and shouted random “Gwan my son” at the poor child whilst Soph snatched bean bags and balls away from him so she could play instead! She was behaving like some sort of thirty something version of Veruca Salt.
Not content with this selfish behaviour Inch decided to yell “cheating manzzzz” at Ronnie when he used his own initiative to try and reach the game better. All in all it was a pretty dismal display of their self centred attitude and poor parenting as well as showing Soph up for the spoilt brat she is as usual. No supper for you tonight Sophie Rose!
Back home later that afternoon and things didn’t get any better as Inch posted a photo of Ron standing in front of “Narnia” which houses a cocktail of poison that his wife is paid to promote child safety for.
“I’ll tell you all about this one day son” he chortled. “Please don’t” thought Ron.
All of the above videos where then deleted before the full 24 hours were up. So what was it Inch? A backlash over your appalling parenting skills or a ticking off from your enabling sponsor P&G for letting your toddler in to the cleaning cupboard.
Don’t forget what Soph tells us on TV for a large undisclosed sum “always keep away from children” Pity they didn’t take their own advice as it’s clear to see they are not toddler people.
Tuesday and there was no respite. Today’s day trip for ickle Soph was a day out at a farm to see her most “fayverit animuls” the alpacas. Freda Fiddle Fingers was on duty in the nearby bushes armed with a tranquiliser dart in case things got out of hand when Soph approached the animals, but luckily she didn’t need to use it on her.
Soph wandered aimlessly around as though in a day dream, trying to put on her best sweet and innocent Snow White expression, but just looking like she was on a day release from a secure unit.
Ron was allowed to see them too, but no mummazzz to hold his hand and guide him through, he was sent running in to the middle of the herd on his own without a care that he could have been kicked or spat on.
He did enjoy feeding them and was given a carrot by the lady who worked there to give to them, as well as being praised for being a good boy by her as mummazz and Jamie guffawed at him like a pair of oafish idiots.
A grid post of Sophie with her twin alpaca was then posted where Jamie proclaimed “feeling happiness by seeing others happy is what life is all about” Maybe look at your poor little boy’s face and focus on his happiness instead of pandering to the overgrown tweenie you married then.
The sheep all flocked to tell Little Bo Peep she deserved to meet the alpacas as she has been sent from the angels to walk amongst us sprinkling zoflora and clumps of hair extensions as she goes...
Wednesday morning and oh what a palaver! There’s drama in the compound of Castle Greyskull as Sophie Doolittle by name and by nature has found a hedgehog!
A perfectly healthy hedgehog, who she had trapped in a grey plastic prison - much like the rest of her family.
Inch had called the “RSPC.”Who must be a bit like the RSPCA but they rescue animals that don’t need rescuing instead and Soph was sat rocking on the grass near to her prisoner, head in hands and looking rather unbalanced in more ways than one. “Bless her art”
As usual Sophie wanted the hedgehog for herself. “I wanna keep ‘im” and as we’ve not had an update on him for several hours, despite Ronnie being out in the compound, he’s probably now dressed in a personalised tracksuit, eating turmeric jusrol pie and has been signed up by Gleam to be a new influencer. We can only pray the hedgehog people are on their way.
No doubt more adventures await Sophie for the rest of the week when Jamie drops her off at nursery, takes her to jump in puddles at the park and they visit soft play to tire her out before bed.
Wiki is the pink button at the top for newbies.
Ronnie and Lennie don’t rhyme.
Sophie doesn’t have a second name she added Rose in her teens.
