Mrs Hinch #283 your tree looks crap and you’re a self-centered prat

[The Dowager]

I think the thread suggestion with the most votes goes to @mgh727 with 'your tree looks crap and you’re a self centred twit', but with a slight amendment as I think we got told off for using twit in a thread title before? Complaints to the ASA if I picked the wrong title, together with our daily complaints about Sophie Hinchliffe's shady advertising.

Wiki is here for new members: https://tattle.life/wiki/mrs-hinch/

Also for new members:

Kate to the party, nusty people, duty heart, crunky snack and #bekond are typos from Hinchers so Tattle are using them.
Among others, a few words below, etc. that we use, there are many more, either rude or sarcastic.
Onslow, Vestlife, Kanye Vest etc. = Jamie as he is seen to always wear vests.
MadMaYahoo/Freda/Ma Barker = Zoph's mum.
Lardsome/fat bastard/chicken strip = Henry.
ATV = all the vest = Jamie wearing vests and she uses ATB (all the best).
RonRon etc. = Ronnie.
Ronnie Balboa = Ronnie, after he smacked her in the face (truth is more likely that her face got in the way of his flailing arm, but hey. Sophie is always the victim)
I’m thank you – what she said to Phil Scofield on her This Morning interview.
Plip and Plop = Flip and Flop the fisccch (as this is the sound they’ll make when they head down the toilet along with their 10+ children who are currently unnamed)

Can someone please do a TLDR / catch-up from the last thread please?

Just waiting for the little pastry trolls to come over here like...

 

[DipsyDoodle]

When she's staring blankly at the start of her video, the Hinch-bot is powering up!

 

[Braggles991]

I dont think I could justify spending so much on christmas as what Hinch has. I started christmas shopping in August so we've only got food to buy now. But mini Braggles has a disney story calendar and my mum had one made for her where you can put different gifts in. As much as the train around the tree looks nice, its certainly not practical especially for Ronnie's age.

 

[Dysonfury]

Challenging day today Soph... Reading! I hope all the questions contain words of 1 syllable only!

 

[The Dowager]

My attempt at a recap:

Short version

- Sophie Hinchliffe has been even more crass, self-centered and out of touch than normal. Difficult to imagine, I know.

Long version

- Sophie Hinchliffe took 2 / 3 days to put up a Christmas tree with no soul, no imagination and no taste. In addition to the tree, her Christmas display features a toy train track that's broadly the same size as the Circle line on the Underground, an empty cardboard box and a photoshopped dog and/or son and/or Father Christmas
- She's also gone OTT on advent calendars and Elf on the Shelf, because she has to be the centre of attention and couldn't give a tit that many of her followers will be struggling to afford Christmas this year, let alone buy things for a dog the size of a small European country and a toddler that can't comprehend Elf on the Shelf
- She also does the above because she's obsessed with creating a childhood for herself, in her adult years. It doesn't take a doctorate in psychology to work this one out.
- She's terribly thin and needs a good meal, preferably one she hasn't cooked herself
- She's advertising F&F clothing for Tesco, however she's doing a terrible job. From the state of her adverts none of the tops can stay on the wearer's shoulders, and the trouser legs are too short. And they're grey of course, like her home and her heart.
- She still doesn't know the name of her second-born son, and needs constant reminders by way of personalised clothes and tat.

I am intentionally not calling her Mrs Hinch because it's her character's name and Sophie Hinchliffe needs calling out. She is not your friend, she is not some ditzy Essex housewife, she's a salesperson who encourages excessive spending to finance her own lifestyle, whilst relentlessly pushing unrealistic ideals of motherhood on to others.

I do think we should keep track of what her Christmas purchases and/or gifts are worth. Surely she's going to spend several thousand before the big day itself?

 

[tawdryhepburn]

i just checked out the end of the last thread, she doesn’t half mind the smell of her own farts this one!!!!

 

[Fluffy20]

Did she say that it took her three times to film the "we're going to film a quiz" video because she's useless on her phone?
Isn't that literally her job? The only thing she has to do all day every day and the thing she gets paid millions of pounds to do is film stuff on her phone, but she says herself that she's useless at it.

 

[mgh727]

Another title suggestion? Pour moi?

You nusty trolls shouldn’t have!! (Honestly you shouldn’t have, I was feeling as creative as Soph choosing colour schemes for her many trees)

Gonna celebrate with a bottle of robinsons and all this pigs in blankets chat in the previous thread has made me crave some so off to Aldi I pop

Cheers you evil pastry demons

 

[Hilopicklelo]

I honestly feel like Inch hates her deep down.

 

[RonnieBlessHim]

State of Jamie

 

[Spamster]

There is no way that woman suffers with anything other than stupidity. I don't mean to sound like I am taking the piss out of mental health, i no its an unseen illness that can be covered up very well. But shes coming across just to arrogant and confident for someone who states they suffer anxiety. Thats just my opinion.

 

[Sparkledust86]

State of Jamie

He looks like David Brent here

 

[mgh727]

Jamie looks so unnatural in front of the camera, keep trying to look him in the eyes but I start screaming and I can’t do it, don’t make me do it

 

[Hbirdette]

Sooooo who’s looking after Ron-a-long-a-ding-dong whilst they film this quiz?

 

[AC55]

State of Jamie

Looks as simple as duck doesn't he?

 

[The Dowager]

Sooooo who’s looking after Ron-a-long-a-ding-dong whilst they film this quiz?

They've just put a punchbag up in the playhouse and left him to it for a couple of hours

 

[RonnieBlessHim]

He looks like David Brent here

Yes!! He does he's certainly packed on some timber hasn't he? Must be all that pastry!!

 

[Dojacat101]

The face of a nag! Omg whats need the call her husband out like that ? What did he even do? Oh nah . Least he is trying to be a supportive husband and all she can do it moan!

 

[mgh727]

State of Jamie

THATS TOM HARDY THAT IS....said no one ever. Unless they’re incredibly partially sighted and have never actually seen Tom Hardy ever.

 

[Wrightie84]

State of Jamie

To be fair for me he looks alright but what got me was when he asked the question and then silly witch interrupt him halfway and tried to make it about her