Mother in law hell!

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I have first hand experience as the child in this situation! My parents fell out with my dad’s family when I was a few years old (something to do with my mum loaning money to my dad’s sister after her divorce, never getting it back then the whole family turning on her for being rude enough to ask for it back when my parents were growing their family). As a result, they were UNinvited to family events etc and I never met my aunties/uncles/cousins etc until I was in my teens. My dads side are all super close with each other (he has three siblings and them and their families go on holiday together every year) and my family are just left out of everything, despite efforts to make up. My cousin got married recently and my parents, my boyfriend and I were put on a totally separate table from the rest of the family which was horrible. It breaks my heart because I know how much my parents want to be a part of their family but honestly I’d rather not see my dad’s family at all. It’s embarrassing and pointless and I have no plans to invite any of them to my wedding or be a part of my life when I have a family of my own (my dad has my back with this). It’s been more damaging for me to be a part of this than it would’ve been if we’d cut them off altogether at the beginning. You don’t need to fight for their approval ☺
 
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I have first hand experience as the child in this situation! My parents fell out with my dad’s family when I was a few years old (something to do with my mum loaning money to my dad’s sister after her divorce, never getting it back then the whole family turning on her for being rude enough to ask for it back when my parents were growing their family). As a result, they were UNinvited to family events etc and I never met my aunties/uncles/cousins etc until I was in my teens. My dads side are all super close with each other (he has three siblings and them and their families go on holiday together every year) and my family are just left out of everything, despite efforts to make up. My cousin got married recently and my parents, my boyfriend and I were put on a totally separate table from the rest of the family which was horrible. It breaks my heart because I know how much my parents want to be a part of their family but honestly I’d rather not see my dad’s family at all. It’s embarrassing and pointless and I have no plans to invite any of them to my wedding or be a part of my life when I have a family of my own (my dad has my back with this). It’s been more damaging for me to be a part of this than it would’ve been if we’d cut them off altogether at the beginning. You don’t need to fight for their approval ☺
This is what’s happening with us, they all have holidays and days out and we’re never invited I’m not as bothered but it does upset my partner. X
 
I would just say to the MIL, that unless she can be civil, you don’t want her around your child. It will probably confusing for the child to have their mother treated badly. You don’t have to be best mates, but she needs to be courteous and civil and there needs to be a mutual level of respect. It will only end badly on the long term as your child will probably not want to see her years down the line when he/she realises that you’re being treated badly x
Also, your husband should be talking to her about her ridiculous behaviour as she is his mum.
I agree, that perhaps if your MIL isn't nice to/about you, then your child should not be around her.
If the child asks why they aren't seeing gran: "we aren't getting along." Children are not stupid and will pick up on what is going on.
 
Also, your husband should be talking to her about her ridiculous behaviour as she is his mum.
I agree, that perhaps if your MIL isn't nice to/about you, then your child should not be around her.
If the child asks why they aren't seeing gran: "we aren't getting along." Children are not stupid and will pick up on what is going on.
I agree he should bring it up with her and I’ve told him this and he says he would rather talk face to face rather than on the phone/messages. X
 
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Your partner is not your mother (and hopefully doesn't share the same traits), so based on that alone, yes your marriage is worth saving.

Can you ask your husband to talk to his MiL about being civil around you? If not, that's a concern ... he should be doing all in his power to protect you.

Sorry, but your MiL sounds petty and damaging - I speak from experience! *Most* can't stand to see their son being taken care of, and happy, with another woman.

I agree he should bring it up with her and I’ve told him this and he says he would rather talk face to face rather than on the phone/messages. X
I think you need to tell him firmly that it needs to happen sooner rather than later. Is he scared of talking to his mother about this?
 
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Your partner is not your mother (and hopefully doesn't share the same traits), so based on that alone, yes your marriage is worth saving.

Can you ask your husband to talk to his MiL about being civil around you? If not, that's a concern ... he should be doing all in his power to protect you.

Sorry, but your MiL sounds petty and damaging - I speak from experience! *Most* can't stand to see their son being taken care of, and happy, with another woman.



I think you need to tell him firmly that it needs to happen sooner rather than later. Is he scared of talking to his mother about this?
I think you’re right, I think he’s definitely wary of bringing it up. She’s just spoke to him after 3 years of no contact x
 
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Just thought I’d update you all I messaged her asking if she wanted something from my baby for Mother’s Day and she ignored me so me and my husband have decided she won’t see our child unless it’s at our house/ I’m there. So there won’t be any more visits to her house. I didn’t want a row with my husband but I said if she refuses to engage with me at all and one day she was babysitting (for arguments sake) if there was an accident would she tell me or wait for the local hospital to be in touch?! He has agreed she’s childish and now she will miss out on birthdays etc.
 
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Just thought I’d update you all I messaged her asking if she wanted something from my baby for Mother’s Day and she ignored me so me and my husband have decided she won’t see our child unless it’s at our house/ I’m there. So there won’t be any more visits to her house. I didn’t want a row with my husband but I said if she refuses to engage with me at all and one day she was babysitting (for arguments sake) if there was an accident would she tell me or wait for the local hospital to be in touch?! He has agreed she’s childish and now she will miss out on birthdays etc.
She sounds so rude! What the hell is her problem?! I really don’t get some women at all.
Why?!! I just don’t get it.
 
She sounds so rude! What the hell is her problem?! I really don’t get some women at all.
Why?!! I just don’t get it.
I’ve got no idea tbh! She’s ruined it for herself now though, why moan and witch about not knowing my child when it was her fault in the first place
 
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