Met at work over zoom

[Scorpihoe]

Sorry but did you just call the pandemic the PANNY D

 

[bolimepipi]

me, having colleagues on social media, after reading this thread:

 

[slabber]

the panny d

The what?

 

[WilmaHun]

Definitely add him on Facebook! What’s the worst thing that can happen? Blokes can be forward why can’t women do the same?
You can even have a virtual wedding over zoom and have me as your tattle bridesmaid

Also panny d and flicking the bean have been my fave quotes from tattle this year

The panny d has given us all a lot of opportunity to flick our beans to be fair

 

[WilmaHun]

I love how everyone is focused on panny d instead of giving advice

 

[watermelon sugar]

Sometimes you have to shoot your shot, if you fancy someone go for it and add them on Facebook. I fancied the pants off my fella the first day we met at work, added him on Facebook straight after work and 3 years later we have a kid and live together. Risks are worth taking

 

[potatowaffles]

Gal I can’t help with advice but I just have to say that I started calling it the panny d ironically during the first lockdown and now it’s stuck and I can’t stop saying it. Everyone looks at me like I’ve committed a murder or something when I say it So glad I’m not alone

 

[Pocahontas]

I think it’s fair to say this thread has reached its conclusion. The OP has vanished never to be seen again and it’s getting a little heated in here to no great aim apart from making me want a Maccy Ds and I’m a vegetarian.

Good luck, OP. Nothing ventured, nothing gained and we’re in the middle of the panny d, after all Life’s short.

 

[MrsEms]

Awww, I got work to do now. This thread has had me in stitches
I'm going to contact my work colleague and tell him to fuck off and do his own paperwork otherwise he won't get a shag



I can do that as he's my husband

 

[Pambo]

I think if he was interested he would have made a move to talk to you elsewhere. Men don’t hang around imo.

Maybe he values his job and career. Could be he doesn't want to bet his ability to keep a roof over his head and keep paying his mortgage and other bills on a bit of office banter.

This was a convo I had with my brother who's been dating a woman he works with. They messaged and chatted and he enjoyed it and fancied her but never asked her out or got too flirty because, as he said, "I bet there isn't a guy alive who hasn't been burned by taking flirting at face value."

Finally the woman got exasperated and said she didn't understand him and accused him of leading her on. When he explained why he didn't ask her out, because if he got it wrong, he'd end up fired or having a chat with HR and blackmark against him if she complained, she admitted that had never even crossed her mind.

And why should it? Here's some female privilege to OP: ask the guy out. Absolutely feck all consequences await if he says no. Even if he does complain, do you think your (probably all female because diversity doesn't apply to this profession) HR dept will take him seriously? Have away.

If he asks OP out and the feelings aren't reciprocated, or if it's some other guy in the company springing romantic interest in her that she wasn't aware of, and how to handle it, she could always post here again for advice.

Some of which would be shop him - get on the phone to HR NOW - and have that guy burned at the stake! The audacity!!

So, yeah, the guy could be interested, but isn't sure OP isn't being anything more than friendly and isn't willing to risk becoming homeless over it if she isn't what with today's PC climate, or he isn't interested and if asked out will do one of two things:

1) Politely let her down and fob her off with some BS about being her superior and against company regulations.
2) As above and also pre-emptively report her to HR in case she goes bat shit and starts accusing him of all sorts out of spite. Not reporting her per se, doesn't want action against her, just covering his ass in case of future fall-out.

Welcome to 2021. We can't have it all the ways.

 

[aimzalicious]

She met him at work. She says earlier on in this thread.

 

[nbt]

Do people not make friends through work any more?


OP, go for it! You’ll kick yourself if you don’t and will constantly be wondering what could have happened.

 

[under the ivy]

Bloody hell you'd think you'd all been party to the conversation to know they have no chemistry. The OP herself has said there seems to be a connection. Maybe the conversation has been slightly flirty to give her this impression. I doubt him screen sharing a spreadsheet made her think there's chemisty

Oh I don’t know, if he’s made a particularly good Excel sheet, who knows what other skills he has

 

[Millyve]

my advice is to stay clear of a work place romance as much as possible.

 

[Poptart]

I could murder a quarter pounder with cheese right now

Any update OP? or is this gonna be another thread where there's no update like the poster who fancied her neighbour

 

[under the ivy]

We’ve lived in a global pandemic for the past year which is still ongoing. A lot of people have gelled over Zoom as that’s pretty much been the only way of contact! Life is too short OP, I hope you are happy in whatever decision you made! Ignore the haters

 

[WilmaHun]

Wouldn’t you think it was really weird though if you were him? God knows how many people he’s in contact with over zoom as part of his job - can you imagine then having some random person from work who you’ve never met in real life and have no real world interactions with, and no non-work related conversations with - if they had trawled Facebook to find you and then added you as a friend?!!!! It’s a bit stalker-ish/bunny boiler?! The guy hasn’t made any moves - has been nothing but professional- and yet this girl has built some fantasy around it where she thinks they have “a connection” - the poor bloke!!!!! It’s all well and good finding someone attractive or whatever but bloody hell - stalking them on private social media is pretty unhinged!!!

I think you're overreacting. It's a pretty normal thing to have colleagues on Facebook, especially if you talk to them in a work capacity every day. I have colleagues from our regional offices who I've never met in person add me on Facebook because we speak all the time. The worst that can happen is that he either rejects or blocks her.
If she was talking about finding out where he lived and turning up there, I'd understand calling her a stalker/bunny boiler. But it's Facebook. It's not that deep.

 

[Definitelyme]

No advice but absolutely adore “the panny d”. That is absolutely the type of nonsense my husband and I would be spouting and I’m going to introduce it this evening He’s gonna love it too.

Sorry I can’t be of any actual help

 

[LittleMy]

I’d say go for it OP. He’s an adult, he doesn’t have to accept a friend request from you if he doesn’t want to. You’ll never know if you never try, we live in the 21st Century ffs. Meeting online or at work is about as good as it gets these days.

 

[watermelon sugar]

If you seriously can’t wrap your head around why this might be deemed as inappropriate in a professional work environment then I can only assume you don’t nor have ever worked in such an environment.

Grown ups who work in professional establishments who interact with colleagues- senior colleagues no less - don’t go around foraging on Facebook to find people they speak to via work to then send unsolicited friend requests. It’s unprofessional and crosses a boundary. I don’t know why that’s so difficult to understand?

Charming I can only assume by your posts you're a stuck up cow

I am a happy stay at home Mum at the moment, thanks hun. But when I did work, surprise surprise, that's where I met my boyfriend.

So unless you live back in the stone ages where your mindset on all your advice forum posts seem to be - people can meet at work