If it’s any consolation, I still have periods of uncontrollable tears two years on. I even found my eyes watering during pilates the other day. I swear it’s him thinking about me and pulling on my energy because it’s so random and unexpected! I would say I’m 99% over it, but yeah there’s always those rare moments when he randomly pops into my head and makes me want to rip my brain out. Don’t do what I did though and went totally anti-men and growled at any man who came near me haha!Was your split mutually agreed then? Yes it always helps to know you're not alone in feeling this way and to know that what is going through your mind is normal for the situation. I'm really struggling too, sending you lots of love. I wish I could fast forward to being happy again
. Its so lonely you're right x
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I’m not sure if it was mutually agreed as such it was more him, but i KNOW it’s for the best, if that makes sense, so I’m letting him go.Was your split mutually agreed then? Yes it always helps to know you're not alone in feeling this way and to know that what is going through your mind is normal for the situation. I'm really struggling too, sending you lots of love
I think this will be me too, still having rare bad periods, I’m so sensitive and I feel things so deeply.
I spent a lot of today ripping up old soppy cards he’d sent me, he thinks it’s petty/childish and it is, but for me I don’t want any reminders of what I’ve lost, it’s too painful.
Who cares what he thinks. He doesn’t own your feelings and given that he knows you’re super sensitive, he’s just being mean!
I don't think it's petty or childish I've pretty much hidden every single card and gift my ex bought for me because it's too painful to look at them at BUT I don't have it in me to get rid of them just yet.
You guys, I wish this was a real life support group where we could drink wine and be nice to each other 
Everyone says that time makes things better but how much time can getting over a man possibly take?! I’m going on 10 months and I still have days where I feel physically sick thinking about what happened and how he treated me. I can’t imagine being able to trust anyone again.
Everyone says that time makes things better but how much time can getting over a man possibly take?! I’m going on 10 months and I still have days where I feel physically sick thinking about what happened and how he treated me. I can’t imagine being able to trust anyone again.
I think we all deal with heartbreak in the way we can, I guess we’re still in survival mode
I’m so sorry you’re still feeling this way, I feel very similar to you in that I will never ever allow myself to be in a situation where I trust a man completely ever again, and by trust I mean trusting that they won’t leave/hurt me in some way, which rules out any and all relationships. I’m no longer strong enough for it.You guys, I wish this was a real life support group where we could drink wine and be nice to each other
Everyone says that time makes things better but how much time can getting over a man possibly take?! I’m going on 10 months and I still have days where I feel physically sick thinking about what happened and how he treated me. I can’t imagine being able to trust anyone again.
I’m 36 now and I’m soooo done with relationships, I’ve never said that before, I’ve always wanted the fairytale and held the belief there is someone out there for me, but I no longer believe it, I’ve had every inch of that belief smashed up into little pieces. I guess now it’s rebuilding a totally different life than the one I wanted, and I have no idea where to start - that’s the scary part.
and 
to everyoneOh God, this actually made me cry a little bit. I’m so sorry that you’ve been through this and that you feel the way you do. It’s genuinely heartbreaking to have someone take away all your faith and hope for future relationships.I think we all deal with heartbreak in the way we can, I guess we’re still in survival mode
I’m so sorry you’re still feeling this way, I feel very similar to you in that I will never ever allow myself to be in a situation where I trust a man completely ever again, and by trust I mean trusting that they won’t leave/hurt me in some way, which rules out any and all relationships. I’m no longer strong enough for it.
I’m 36 now and I’m soooo done with relationships, I’ve never said that before, I’ve always wanted the fairytale and held the belief there is someone out there for me, but I no longer believe it, I’ve had every inch of that belief smashed up into little pieces. I guess now it’s rebuilding a totally different life than the one I wanted, and I have no idea where to start - that’s the scary part.
I hope very much that you will find someone who treats you with the love you deserve - but if not, that’s wonderful too. It is scary not knowing where to start but you know what you don’t want, and that’s a start in itself. Either way, you just need to look after yourself and know how strong you are for being able to set those boundaries for yourself and refusing to put up with anymore horrific treatment from men and that’s bloody amazing
When I broke up with my ex I genuinely thought I’d never get it over it and I would never be happy again. And I HATED people saying to me “time is a healer”, “in a few years you will laugh about it” but honestly it is SO true. I know it hurts like hell and you can’t see a way out of it, but I honestly believe that everything gets better in time... and I also believe that everything happens for a reason. There is a reason things didn’t work out and I promise in time you will see that, even if you don’t right now 
Sending love to everyone feeling rubbish
Sending love to everyone feeling rubbish 
My psychologist told me yesterday that she didn’t push me to start doing things because she knew that I needed to grieve and get angry and all that takes time. Her comment came after over a month from my breakup and I was finally able to shower and brush my teeth and was not ideating everyday anymore. My heart still aches for closure and I am fuming how someone I trusted with my everything could blindside and leave me all alone suddenly. I keep wondering if it’s because I gained weight or I stopped wearing full makeup towards the end of our relationship. And I can resonate with some of you lovely folks saying you don’t believe in relationships or love anymore because I don’t either. I don’t understand why love was not in the cards for me especially because I really wanted it and gave my best to him.
@Hope96 wish I could hug you and we can cry together and eat a lot of ice cream.
@Hope96 wish I could hug you and we can cry together and eat a lot of ice cream.
Love will find you one day... when it’s the right time and the right person!!My psychologist told me yesterday that she didn’t push me to start doing things because she knew that I needed to grieve and get angry and all that takes time. Her comment came after over a month from my breakup and I was finally able to shower and brush my teeth and was not ideating everyday anymore. My heart still aches for closure and I am fuming how someone I trusted with my everything could blindside and leave me all alone suddenly. I keep wondering if it’s because I gained weight or I stopped wearing full makeup towards the end of our relationship. And I can resonate with some of you lovely folks saying you don’t believe in relationships or love anymore because I don’t either. I don’t understand why love was not in the cards for me especially because I really wanted it and gave my best to him.
@Hope96 wish I could hug you and we can cry together and eat a lot of ice cream.
Hey all
So I’m in a predicament
I’ve been married 9y abs I’m desperately unhappy
We’ve just moved house and I don’t want to uproot kids
I don’t have any family so can’t go anywhere
I’m just so sad and I hate my life right now
He treats me like tit - no consideration for my feeling, my life, my struggles and my health. It’s all about him. He is a true narc. I dread seeing him coming home. He hasn’t spoke to me all evening and knows I’m really upset as it’s my late mums anniversary tomorrow. He is a pig.
So I’m in a predicament
I’ve been married 9y abs I’m desperately unhappy
We’ve just moved house and I don’t want to uproot kids
I don’t have any family so can’t go anywhere
I’m just so sad and I hate my life right now
He treats me like tit - no consideration for my feeling, my life, my struggles and my health. It’s all about him. He is a true narc. I dread seeing him coming home. He hasn’t spoke to me all evening and knows I’m really upset as it’s my late mums anniversary tomorrow. He is a pig.
This makes me so so sad to read. I’m so sorry you feel like this
Have you got any friends close by?You're an angel.@Hope96 wish I could hug you and we can cry together and eat a lot of ice cream.
I wish we could eat lots of ice cream together! I'm glad I have such lovely people on here to chat to! Sending you lots of virtual hugs. xxxThank youThis makes me so so sad to read. I’m so sorry you feel like this
Not close by but about 30 minute drive
Thing is we are all friends - it’s complicated!
He told me once If I left him he would be in despair and would harm himself
I’ve had about three or four serious chats to say this is what’s wrong how do we fix it - nothing
He even said to try for another baby a year ago but we don’t have sex - he messes with my head constantly
This is really heart breaking to read!
I wish I had some words of wisdom but like Rita said is there anyone else besides family who could help you? You really do deserve to be happy and if you want to vent/rant tomorrow then please know us tattlers are here for you. You'll be in my thoughts. 
I am so sorry to hear what you’re going through. He sounds so vile. If you do end up leaving, alert 911 about his self harm statements so that he can’t blame it on you even if he went through with them. Are you physically safe? Sending so much love.
It really isn’t fair that he’s saying that to you, trying to guilt trip you into staying. Have you made it clear that you want to leave or just said you are unhappy? I’m guessing he wouldn’t leave the house. If you drive, can you get yourself and the kids out to a friends when he’s not there? perhaps find a phone number for a local women’s shelter, they may be able to help you and direct you to the right place xx
Thanks everyone for the kind words and support
I would have enough in the bank account to fund a week or so in a hotel which is great
In terms of friends etc I could go there - my best friend is like my sister - it’s just I can’t even deal with physically having to talk about it or talk to people if that makes sense
I’m just so upset for my kids. I was brought up in a house wirh a verbally abusive alcoholic - at least I knew when daddy would be spiralling. With OH it could be the simplist thing - I feel like I’m waking on egg shells.
How his day has been dictates my evening
I’ve said before that if he doesn’t change I will leave him - he makes promises then good for a week or two then old habits come back again
My little one is very close to me and I think she senses it and tells him to stop shouting at mummy all of the time
I’m just even more annoyed at the silent treatment tonight wirh him knowing the significance of tomorrow
He left my dog outside earlier crying - she’s a house dog and very nervous - I heard her went and got her and she was shaking. I said why didn’t you bring her in - all I got was a grunt
When we had a conversation last time he said (after a bit of drink) he couldn’t cope if I left him, that he couldn’t survive and wouldn’t want to. That his life would be a failure and what would be the point of going on. It would be easier for me to have the insurance pay out. He has me convinced he would do something. As a precaution I messaged my friend that night to have in writing.
He has a very powerful and well paid job and anything mental health wise would be damaging (very sad that is the case - I’m very for pro mental health for everyone)
It’s sad that I hate the weekends and love working
I would have enough in the bank account to fund a week or so in a hotel which is great
In terms of friends etc I could go there - my best friend is like my sister - it’s just I can’t even deal with physically having to talk about it or talk to people if that makes sense
I’m just so upset for my kids. I was brought up in a house wirh a verbally abusive alcoholic - at least I knew when daddy would be spiralling. With OH it could be the simplist thing - I feel like I’m waking on egg shells.
How his day has been dictates my evening
I’ve said before that if he doesn’t change I will leave him - he makes promises then good for a week or two then old habits come back again
My little one is very close to me and I think she senses it and tells him to stop shouting at mummy all of the time
I’m just even more annoyed at the silent treatment tonight wirh him knowing the significance of tomorrow
He left my dog outside earlier crying - she’s a house dog and very nervous - I heard her went and got her and she was shaking. I said why didn’t you bring her in - all I got was a grunt
When we had a conversation last time he said (after a bit of drink) he couldn’t cope if I left him, that he couldn’t survive and wouldn’t want to. That his life would be a failure and what would be the point of going on. It would be easier for me to have the insurance pay out. He has me convinced he would do something. As a precaution I messaged my friend that night to have in writing.
He has a very powerful and well paid job and anything mental health wise would be damaging (very sad that is the case - I’m very for pro mental health for everyone)
It’s sad that I hate the weekends and love working
I've sent him a message so expect me to return to this thread crying in a few days. 
Good luckI've sent him a message so expect me to return to this thread crying in a few days.
rooting for you xx