Men are trash

[justapossum]

People only take advantage of you, if you allow them to

I don't fully agree with that, people can be sneaky/manipulative, so it's not like I intentionally and knowingly just let them take advantage of me.

 

[watermelon sugar]

People only take advantage of you, if you allow them to

I don't think that's true, it's not that easy to tell when someone is being manipulative and gaslighting you

 

[House of Tea]

Men on the whole are not trash, but they are over rated. I don’t think you should base your life around getting and keeping a man. They should be an amuse-bouche, not the main course. As you get older you know what adds value to your life, and what doesn’t, and men fall into the latter category. (Disclaimer - I am married but if I wasn’t I would not be searching for a replacement. My OH is ok, but to be frank, I can take him or leave him, he is not the centre of my world anymore.) Once the need for validation from men goes, you feel free and all their nonsense just seems like time wasting. You get one life, why waste is stressing about some Neanderthal. I do feel sorry for younger women these days. They have a lot more shit to content with than when I was younger. At least when I was young, there was the pretence of romance, which seems to have gone out the window since swipe right or left came in.

 

[Scorpihoe]

Totally here for this thread! Men are trash, even my boyfriend. Well he’s not TRASH, but...he’s litter

 

[thunderfook]

I’ve noticed that men nowadays are so anaesthetised by casual sex/porn/scantily clad women everywhere that they simply don’t value or respect us anymore. We are simply a commodity. I would go so far as to say if men didn’t need us for sex, they wouldn’t even give us the time of day. I say this after 6 years of post-divorce dating, meeting nothing but trash, who either want just sex or tell me I’m not worthy of love because I don’t want children (the inly reason for my divorce). My ex and I had the upmost respect and love for each other and I never knew what men were like until I hit 40 (and went on Tinder and Bumble). I used to think it was an age thing, and younger women faired much better, but actually I know realise it’s just how men are these days. Sucks!

 

[WilmaHun]

My boyfriend is doing my head in and I have nowhere else to vent about it so How can the person who makes you feel happiest also somehow make you feel your saddest

 

[WilmaHun]

I've seen lots of people being royally fucked over by the men in their lives, so here's a place to vent about it

 

[Swipeuplikeandshare]

Hey all
So I’m in a predicament
I’ve been married 9y abs I’m desperately unhappy
We’ve just moved house and I don’t want to uproot kids
I don’t have any family so can’t go anywhere
I’m just so sad and I hate my life right now
He treats me like shit - no consideration for my feeling, my life, my struggles and my health. It’s all about him. He is a true narc. I dread seeing him coming home. He hasn’t spoke to me all evening and knows I’m really upset as it’s my late mums anniversary tomorrow. He is a pig.

 

[Tinkerbell cat]

I really feel for some of you guys. Its been 5 years since I got my heart broken. I was an absolute mess. I had to take some time off work. I spent all day in bed, crying, not eating, not sleeping, just begging him to give us another chance. I lost lots of weight. My stepdad threatened to force feed me if I didn't start eating. Every single thing reminded me of him and everywhere I went held some kind of memory. He moved on pretty quick, told me he was going on a date with a girl he used to see before we got together and it completely destroyed me. I removed him from all social media. And just allowed myself to go through the motions. I was sat in a bar with my friend and just burst into tears. I just saw no light at the end of the tunnel.

The only thing I will say that helped is time. Time is a great healer. It didn't happen overnight. It took months. Over time I wasn't crying as often, I was starting to smile and laugh again. I got myself into a really good place and he came along wanting to try again but by then I was much stronger. We weren't meant for one another.

Fast forward to now, I am in a happy, healthy 3yr relationship with someone who treats me with respect and actually cares and loves me. We live together and have a little cat! Life is good.

So I know it might not feel like it now, but Better days are ahead and it won't always feel so shit. I am proof of that.

Be kind to yourselves. your heart will mend xo

 

[Glamourelle]

I’ve said this so many times before and I’ll say it here again - I genuinely think men are a completely different species

 

[calmyourritas]

When I broke up with my ex I genuinely thought I’d never get it over it and I would never be happy again. And I HATED people saying to me “time is a healer”, “in a few years you will laugh about it” but honestly it is SO true. I know it hurts like hell and you can’t see a way out of it, but I honestly believe that everything gets better in time... and I also believe that everything happens for a reason. There is a reason things didn’t work out and I promise in time you will see that, even if you don’t right now Sending love to everyone feeling rubbish

 

[sleepflowers]

I support this thread FULLY

 

[DeathToCovid]

So sorry to everyone struggling right now, I broke up with my boyfriend this morning, we had things we just couldn’t get through, whilst not a bad guy I can’t help but need to vent. I feel so sad right now and I’m at that stage where I’m gutted and having those - I’ll never find someone else I’m too fat ugly and mad kind of thoughts, and the he will find someone so much better than me etc etc missing all the nice stuff. Usual I guess. Fucking painful

 

[BelleAmie]

I fully believe that there are good men out there, but for every decent man, there are 247 really shit men. The numbers are not on our side.

 

[Clementine]

I’m going to piss people off but why come into a thread entitled “Men are trash” to say they’re not?!
Of course we’re not talking about every single guy but sorry, most guys are and that’s who we’re talking about here. Not your boyfriend/husband etc - it’s always attached women who want to stick up for them too.

We know NOT ALL men are trash.

 

[LittleMy]

Ahh.. They’re not all bad.
Most of my closest friends are men and they have been amazing over the years.

I have to agree. I’ve met my fair share of swamp rats, sure, but there are some pretty amazing guys out there. Plenty of horrible females around too.

 

[Shamala]

I concur with the title. Most of them really are. I'm not sure where the 'we all have dads and brothers' etc. comes from. Actually plenty don't have any family at all with decent men in it, my dad was one of the worst and my brother got a woman he barely knew pregnant and then took a job working for a bank in Australia just to get away from having to deal with fatherhood! I have male friends but I certainly wouldn't recommend my female friends date any of them, knowing how useless they all are. I've argued with all of them at one time or another and had to challenge their views on stereotypes and being sexist. They are nice guys to have a laugh with after work or to watch the footie with, but a sensible conversation? Not so much.

I gave up my assumption that I'd meet someone and get married about 4 years ago. I'm in my mid thirties. It took me years, two long term relationships - one where he had an accident at work and then, whilst on leave at home 'recovering' managed to find the energy to shag the neighbour whilst I was working paying all the bills and then the next had an entire split personality and turned out to be a narcissist who landed me in therapy after smashing my self esteem into tiny bits. The therapy was amazing, taught me how to have self respect, boundaries and bin anyone that treated me like crap.

What that means is - and what I found out from dating since the therapy - 95% men end up getting binned eventually lol! It's not about 'picking bad ones' or attracting the wrong sort at all. If you're a half decent looking woman, there's a huge amount of men who probably fancy you or would have sex with you. Men aren't that picky (just see that video where one of them's getting on with a mc chicken sandwich). It's about having boundaries and getting rid of the people in your life who you start dating then find out have red flags and aren't very nice to you. Which is hard, and a bit demoralising when you realise quite how many people behave quite poorly.

 

[WilmaHun]

My partner is a good man, but he has his days. For example, the last week I would have described him as absolute trash He's redeemed himself now but all men have their moments. As Watermelon says, there's someone out there for everyone

I'll probably return to this thread in 3-5 business days to slag my man off again for being trash

 

[d0llhouse]

My partner has some wonderful traits and we are well suited in lots of ways, but when he's shown me some of his WhatsApp group chats with other (married, educated and successful) men, I lose a little faith. The casual misogyny, lowest common denominator 'banter' and the ways in which they never hold each other to account is disappointing.

I'd like to see more attached women calling this out, instead of pretending their husbands/boyfriends are perfect and turning this into a single woman problem.

 

[thunderfook]

My boyfriend is doing my head in and I have nowhere else to vent about it so How can the person who makes you feel happiest also somehow make you feel your saddest

I was in Sainsbury’s earlier and this poor women was being shouted at by her husband because she kept him waiting because the queue was so long. I just gave a knowing eye roll and thought ‘jeez I’m so happy to be single right now’!