Men are trash

[thunderfook]

Who shat in your cornflakes?

People can comment wherever they want. You can always scroll by too y’know.

Do you really need to ask so eloquently?

 

[thunderfook]

Was your split mutually agreed then? Yes it always helps to know you're not alone in feeling this way and to know that what is going through your mind is normal for the situation. I'm really struggling too, sending you lots of love . I wish I could fast forward to being happy again . Its so lonely you're right x

If it’s any consolation, I still have periods of uncontrollable tears two years on. I even found my eyes watering during pilates the other day. I swear it’s him thinking about me and pulling on my energy because it’s so random and unexpected! I would say I’m 99% over it, but yeah there’s always those rare moments when he randomly pops into my head and makes me want to rip my brain out. Don’t do what I did though and went totally anti-men and growled at any man who came near me haha!

 

[thunderfook]

I tried these churro donuts from a neighborhood chocolate shop. They are delicious!
View attachment 628623

Oh my God, they look even better!

 

[calmyourritas]

Hey all
So I’m in a predicament
I’ve been married 9y abs I’m desperately unhappy
We’ve just moved house and I don’t want to uproot kids
I don’t have any family so can’t go anywhere
I’m just so sad and I hate my life right now
He treats me like shit - no consideration for my feeling, my life, my struggles and my health. It’s all about him. He is a true narc. I dread seeing him coming home. He hasn’t spoke to me all evening and knows I’m really upset as it’s my late mums anniversary tomorrow. He is a pig.

This makes me so so sad to read. I’m so sorry you feel like this Have you got any friends close by?

 

[Hope96]

@Hope96 wish I could hug you and we can cry together and eat a lot of ice cream.

You're an angel. I wish we could eat lots of ice cream together! I'm glad I have such lovely people on here to chat to! Sending you lots of virtual hugs. xxx

 

[isabellalovescats]

Thank you
Not close by but about 30 minute drive
Thing is we are all friends - it’s complicated!
He told me once If I left him he would be in despair and would harm himself
I’ve had about three or four serious chats to say this is what’s wrong how do we fix it - nothing
He even said to try for another baby a year ago but we don’t have sex - he messes with my head constantly

I am so sorry to hear what you’re going through. He sounds so vile. If you do end up leaving, alert 911 about his self harm statements so that he can’t blame it on you even if he went through with them. Are you physically safe? Sending so much love.

 

[Clementine]

My Dad was a man. I adored him

 

[thunderfook]

My Dad was a man. I adored him

i adored mine, more than I could ever express. I adored my ex-husband more than I could ever express. We are mostly talking about our awful experience of men in the romantic sense, or lack there of!

 

[Professor Farnsworth]

I guess you should stay away from the basic bitches then.

I intend to don’t worry! Just not necessary to be such a Princess really. Won’t get you very far in life!

Not you btw!

 

[uglybettybetty]

That’s horrible of him and he needs to apologise to you.
Not being comfortable in a bikini is completely normal. I wouldn’t wear one either. Is he trying to make you wear one?

He just rang me and apologised, I just don’t feel like talking to him at all. He’s really pissed me off! I feel like it’s just so unfair to expect someone to do something they don’t want to do! Also no he’s basically trying to tell me that I shouldn’t feel insecure and that I should be confident and wear one, he’s always very uplifting when it comes to my body and always tries to make me feel more confident, but he basically said “you’re putting a downer on the trip by feeling so insecure you can’t even wear a bikini” and it really has upset me. I’ve bought a pair of denim shorts and I was thinking of wearing them with a swimsuit or long bikini top, even denim shorts is something I’m not used to wearing outside. I’m terrified I know that seems ridiculous but I really am

 

[Justmesince1983]

I support this thread FULLY

I second that I can't even confide in my friends as he'll have a go at me for telling people our private relationship stuff you can't write it on social media as there might be a certain few people that you don't want to see if that makes any sense

 

[thunderfook]

I don't think that's true, it's not that easy to tell when someone is being manipulative and gaslighting you

I don’t think that’s completely true either. Having been caught by a manipulator whilst in a very fragile state myself (once and only once). If it becomes a repeating pattern, I’d say you definitely need to reconsider your choices!

 

[Annie101]

Men on the whole are not trash, but they are over rated. I don’t think you should base your life around getting and keeping a man. They should be an amuse-bouche, not the main course. As you get older you know what adds value to your life, and what doesn’t, and men fall into the latter category. (Disclaimer - I am married but if I wasn’t I would not be searching for a replacement. My OH is ok, but to be frank, I can take him or leave him, he is not the centre of my world anymore.) Once the need for validation from men goes, you feel free and all their nonsense just seems like time wasting. You get one life, why waste is stressing about some Neanderthal. I do feel sorry for younger women these days. They have a lot more shit to content with than when I was younger. At least when I was young, there was the pretence of romance, which seems to have gone out the window since swipe right or left came in.

love this

 

[newtoyou]

So my birthday is coming up (so is my ex’s because surprise, we have the same birthday) and I’m all types of annoyed that I’ll most likely be celebrating it by myself. I’ve always loved my birthday. It’s my absolute favorite day of the year. He told me he couldn’t wait to spend the summer together with me etc. and we had all these summer plans, and our birthday is one of them. I even had plans in my head from which cake to bake to what I was going to buy him as a birthday present and what song we are going to dance to when we’d sneak him out to the gazebo next to the water. I got brutally dumped on Mother’s Day. He still has my stuff that I haven’t bothered asking back because he was really cruel and angry when we last talked (texted, coward couldn’t even dump me over a phone call). Anyways, I moved to this town during the pandemic and lockdown was always super strict until very recently, so I was only allowed one contact person and that was him. He’s the only person I socialized with, my only friend and the one I ended up falling in love with. I’m miserable without him now that things are open and we could be doing our summer plans together if we were not broken up. I just can’t bear the thought that I might be alone on my birthday but he won’t be (this is his hometown so he’s got family and friends). Where did all the promises go?

Can you go to your own hometown for your birthday?

 

[House of Tea]

Kept myself busy up until a few hours ago and I'm feeling really awful. I wish it was easy to get him out of my thoughts. I feel so anxious and sick when my mind is consumed by thoughts of him. Trying to stop myself from crying because I don't want to cry anymore but I'm not doing a great job of it. I hate missing him so much. I'm exhausting myself by keeping busy but I can't do that 24/7. Blah.

I think you are going to accept the tears and feeling awful for a while, you are grieving. Don’t take this the wrong way, at some point you are going to bore yourself, and the tears will start to recede. And you will go longer and longer without thinking about him. You will get through this. You need to be kind to yourself and realise you can’t turn feelings of like a tap, but the gush of water now will soon be a trickle.

 

[calmyourritas]

My psychologist told me yesterday that she didn’t push me to start doing things because she knew that I needed to grieve and get angry and all that takes time. Her comment came after over a month from my breakup and I was finally able to shower and brush my teeth and was not ideating everyday anymore. My heart still aches for closure and I am fuming how someone I trusted with my everything could blindside and leave me all alone suddenly. I keep wondering if it’s because I gained weight or I stopped wearing full makeup towards the end of our relationship. And I can resonate with some of you lovely folks saying you don’t believe in relationships or love anymore because I don’t either. I don’t understand why love was not in the cards for me especially because I really wanted it and gave my best to him.
@Hope96 wish I could hug you and we can cry together and eat a lot of ice cream.

Love will find you one day... when it’s the right time and the right person!!

 

[Raininvain]

My boyfriend is doing my head in and I have nowhere else to vent about it so How can the person who makes you feel happiest also somehow make you feel your saddest

If they are making you feel as bad as this then you need to be thinking very seriously about getting rid of them. x

 

[isabellalovescats]

Can you go to your own hometown for your birthday?

The borders are closed. I’m abroad.

 

[Clementine]

Do something that makes you feel good when you get the urge.

 

[rebremm99]

My boyfriend is doing my head in and I have nowhere else to vent about it so How can the person who makes you feel happiest also somehow make you feel your saddest

I remember that feeling and it’s awful. Hope it gets better for you x