Video recap for those that can’t suffer through:
1.More garden content = Melanie making Thomas eat a blackberry from the garden as a disposable sacrificial lamb because she doesn’t think it’s safe to do so. Thomas wants her to get back to the kitchen to make marmalade (jam?). She eventually eats one in the wilds of the garden to the sounds of traffic and disgust. He bought her a slutty grandma garden gnome for her birthday. She thinks it embodies her perfectly.
2 Sticks up an exact floor plan of the house.
3. Discusses carpet moth infestation. She had noticed all the larvae round the house but just hoovered them up oblivious. Only when they started to eat the bedsheets off the floor bed ( on the disgusting moth eaten carpet) did she think that maybe something was up. She has sorted the problem by bulk buying the cheapest carpet in the showroom (sponso) which is the same colour and texture of a used bathmat. She thinks the beige carpet will match well to her preferred colour of paint, also beige. Tries to sell a rolled up lawn chair cushion of a mattress ( matching foam strip pillows guUYssss). She thinks a unique selling point for it is the fact that the 3 inches of recycled rubber perfectly muffle the sound of disappointing sex. Target market for the 200euro mattress is the masses of people who have to act like a teenagers in a house they paid over half a million euros for.
4. Tommy takeover. He mispronounces “hearth” repeatedly. He shows all the savings that can be made by shopping in the sticks. Doesn’t rightly know where Loughrea is but it’s a great place to get an overpriced mini stove apparently. Also Donegal lads will deliver anything anywhere for half nothing. WHO KNEW LADS. That 200 euro saving should go a long way. Might cover the cost of the half dozen Yankee candles Mel has to buy a week to cover the smell of rot in the place.
5. They have to replace all the windows but it’s worth it because they found a newspaper that’s older than Thomas and it fuels Melanie’s Harry Potter fantasies. Everything is cheaper in the past. Again WHO KNEW!
6. Next door neighbours are building a house right up against their boundary hedge which is going to be overlooking their garden and directly in the roof of the conservatory. Not exactly the escape to the country vibes Melanie was going for but hey ho.
7. Even with Thomas and his dad doing the majority of the work they have spent 20 grand on what is essentially gutting the place. She’s worried about all the outgoings - again bringing up Thomas student loans ( lest we forget) - but she’s determined to do it on the cheap. She wants to remind the less fortunates that renovating a house isn’t all glamour. Also let’s everyone know what they will be selling the couch and the dresser ( points them out) so keep an eye out on done deal for Thomas's phone number.
TL: DR - they were conned into buying a moth infested, overlooked damp riddled wreck of a bungalow. Thomas is just odd. Melanie is miserly and the most pregnant any woman has ever been at 22 weeks.
1.More garden content = Melanie making Thomas eat a blackberry from the garden as a disposable sacrificial lamb because she doesn’t think it’s safe to do so. Thomas wants her to get back to the kitchen to make marmalade (jam?). She eventually eats one in the wilds of the garden to the sounds of traffic and disgust. He bought her a slutty grandma garden gnome for her birthday. She thinks it embodies her perfectly.
2 Sticks up an exact floor plan of the house.
3. Discusses carpet moth infestation. She had noticed all the larvae round the house but just hoovered them up oblivious. Only when they started to eat the bedsheets off the floor bed ( on the disgusting moth eaten carpet) did she think that maybe something was up. She has sorted the problem by bulk buying the cheapest carpet in the showroom (sponso) which is the same colour and texture of a used bathmat. She thinks the beige carpet will match well to her preferred colour of paint, also beige. Tries to sell a rolled up lawn chair cushion of a mattress ( matching foam strip pillows guUYssss). She thinks a unique selling point for it is the fact that the 3 inches of recycled rubber perfectly muffle the sound of disappointing sex. Target market for the 200euro mattress is the masses of people who have to act like a teenagers in a house they paid over half a million euros for.
4. Tommy takeover. He mispronounces “hearth” repeatedly. He shows all the savings that can be made by shopping in the sticks. Doesn’t rightly know where Loughrea is but it’s a great place to get an overpriced mini stove apparently. Also Donegal lads will deliver anything anywhere for half nothing. WHO KNEW LADS. That 200 euro saving should go a long way. Might cover the cost of the half dozen Yankee candles Mel has to buy a week to cover the smell of rot in the place.
5. They have to replace all the windows but it’s worth it because they found a newspaper that’s older than Thomas and it fuels Melanie’s Harry Potter fantasies. Everything is cheaper in the past. Again WHO KNEW!
6. Next door neighbours are building a house right up against their boundary hedge which is going to be overlooking their garden and directly in the roof of the conservatory. Not exactly the escape to the country vibes Melanie was going for but hey ho.
7. Even with Thomas and his dad doing the majority of the work they have spent 20 grand on what is essentially gutting the place. She’s worried about all the outgoings - again bringing up Thomas student loans ( lest we forget) - but she’s determined to do it on the cheap. She wants to remind the less fortunates that renovating a house isn’t all glamour. Also let’s everyone know what they will be selling the couch and the dresser ( points them out) so keep an eye out on done deal for Thomas's phone number.
TL: DR - they were conned into buying a moth infested, overlooked damp riddled wreck of a bungalow. Thomas is just odd. Melanie is miserly and the most pregnant any woman has ever been at 22 weeks.
