I never thought I'd post something on here asking for advice but I am losing the will
My marriage has been stressful to say the least - married 5 years, with 4 of them going through IVF & multiple miscarriages.
For the last 2 years, things have been awful. I felt really unappreciated, no affection from him (I'm really tactile), we basically become like room mates. We enjoyed spending time together but it was different. 4 months into feeling like that, I sat him down and said I was unhappy with how things are etc. Then 3 weeks later we went into lockdown 1. Things did get better, but I don't know if that's because we couldn't go anywhere.
Fast forward a year, another miscarriage & he tells me he is feeling really insecure & paranoid. I have lost a lot of weight which has meant I've had more attention from males, which he has struggled with. The last 5 months I have been plagued with accusations of affairs, questioned on my whereabouts constantly, called hideous names, threatened with divorce, to the point I left almost 4 weeks ago.
Since then, he says he has reflected and knows I haven't done any of those things and says he is struggling with his mental health. He blames himself for our fertility issues as every test I've had has come back normal. He's now on medication & attending counselling. However, over the weekend I was sent screenshots of his tinder profile. I'm living with family and have been looking into getting my own place. I found somewhere over the weekend, and last night he begged me not to take it and to work on this.
I know no one can tell me what to do, but I am struggling.
I don't want to throw away the last 9 years but I honestly can't see myself moving home any time soon. It has become a place of anxiety because we couldn't get through 48 hours without huge blow outs.
My marriage has been stressful to say the least - married 5 years, with 4 of them going through IVF & multiple miscarriages.
For the last 2 years, things have been awful. I felt really unappreciated, no affection from him (I'm really tactile), we basically become like room mates. We enjoyed spending time together but it was different. 4 months into feeling like that, I sat him down and said I was unhappy with how things are etc. Then 3 weeks later we went into lockdown 1. Things did get better, but I don't know if that's because we couldn't go anywhere.
Fast forward a year, another miscarriage & he tells me he is feeling really insecure & paranoid. I have lost a lot of weight which has meant I've had more attention from males, which he has struggled with. The last 5 months I have been plagued with accusations of affairs, questioned on my whereabouts constantly, called hideous names, threatened with divorce, to the point I left almost 4 weeks ago.
Since then, he says he has reflected and knows I haven't done any of those things and says he is struggling with his mental health. He blames himself for our fertility issues as every test I've had has come back normal. He's now on medication & attending counselling. However, over the weekend I was sent screenshots of his tinder profile. I'm living with family and have been looking into getting my own place. I found somewhere over the weekend, and last night he begged me not to take it and to work on this.
I know no one can tell me what to do, but I am struggling.
I don't want to throw away the last 9 years but I honestly can't see myself moving home any time soon. It has become a place of anxiety because we couldn't get through 48 hours without huge blow outs.