Vlogmas Day 17
- She's in her dressing gown again. Hood up. She's going outside to have another look at the house.
Not today Satan.
- She feels her content has been very comfortable, but there's been a lot going on behind the scenes. A lot of stress.
This might be a surprise to you Lydia, but I don't particularly like listening to you go on and on about how dreadful your life is.
- She doesn't know what's wrong with her as she can't get up. Ali says it's because she's been vlogging loads.
Ali, you sound better with your mouth closed.
- The missing porch coping stone has arrived. She now has a favourite angle to view the porch from.
I don't hate you, I'm just not necessarily excited about your existence. Or the porch.
- She acknowledges she's happy her sprootlings are growing after they were annihilated by the workmen. They're ruined her cabbages and lettuces.
Do you live on Elm Street? Because you're a fucking nightmare.
- Her parsley thrives no matter where it is. It's ridiculous.
Arrogance and stupidity all in one sentence. How efficient of you, Lydia.
- She fangs with all the workmen coming and going it's been a messy process.
Do you want cheese and crackers to go with your whine?
- She's now getting ready for the day. She's taken it slow today. She's started clenching her jaw. Her acupuncturist and reflexologist both picked up on it. She's been having acupuncture in her jaw. AKA botox. She feels like she has whiplash or DOMS. She's been putting her CBD stick on her neck. Cawwee has the exact same problem.
Fucknuts. I'm sorry I couldn't think of a non-insulting way of describing you.
- When her door is closed Lumi has to come in and check mummy is ok. Lumi was sick on her dressing room ottoman and she thinks she needs to get rid of it, as she doesn't know how to clean it. She can never get wee or vomit out of anything.
Well that's a level of incompetence we've not seen before.
- She's glad the work has been ongoing, as it's given her things to talk to us about. So she's not mad it all happened at once, as she's been able to produce fairly interesting vlogs. She highlights she did go to London once, but that she was forced to go in-store, as she couldn't get the item online.
You are literally the dullest emptiest vessel of a human being I've ever met.
- She likes her new bronzer. She reflects maybe her last bronzer was too intense.
Really? Good spot Einstein.
- She's been wearing her tights back to front. She's been flattening her ass. And that sums up her 2020.
Your ass must get jealous of all that shit that comes out of your mouth.
- She's wearing her NastyGal jumper again for the second day running.
Girl, stop. Anyone would begin to think you can't be possibly keeping all those luxury items you haul.
- Study update. WTF I thought Lauren told you not to go in until the reveal? She says she's jumping around like a giddy 12 year old. She's impatient so whenever someone exceeds her expectations she gets excited. The bookcase is bring delivered in T-minus 10 minutes. She lisps does she need to do anything; her hair.
How old are you again? Sorry, forgot you can't count that high.
- She's received a hamper from Elizabeth Arden. She loves hampers. They make her very happy.
Like others, this hits differently, when families are struggling to eat amidst the pandemic.
-She's received a book titled 'the power of introverts in a world that doesn't stop talking'. If you didn't know already she's found out she's an introvert. She says she's selectively quiet.
Not selective enough.
- The bookcase is wonky because of the flooring. She fangs all the perks of living in an old house.
It's a new build bungalow, Lydia. I was going to suggest you quit acting stupid...then I realised you're likely not acting.
- Ali didn't want to look until the study's finished, but she's made him. She does the ever so irritating lisping baby talk to him, whilst presenting him with the desk plaque. He drops it.
Subliminal messages Ali. I'm here for it.
- She has a seat to sit on opposite Ali's desk so she can talk to him. Ali unenthusiastically goes yeah.
I pray for you, Ali because I don't know how to do an exorcism.
- She has paid for the office to be cleaned, but she's doing it now as she's too impatient.
You really do put the 'you' in Fuck You.
I hope this cheers you up slightly
@AmaliaLana.
Merry Christmas Eve. Hope everyone has a lovely time. We can't leave London to see our family and friends, but Dan has his first Christmas Day off duty in forever, so I'm excited.