Lydia Millen #52 Flopmas with the MGs, Hermès bag for her majesty, needs a f*kn dictionary

[Namima]

Wow, the lisping and baby talk between Lydiot and Cawwiieeeee in the last vlog was on another level. I really need some sort of psychological feedback re the lisping and baby talk between grown women. It is so creepy.

My sister, who has never heard of nor watched any of Lydiot's vlogs, watched last night's vlog with me. I kept quiet, wanting her unbiased reaction to our narc ... these were a few of her (unsolicited) comments :
- 'Is she pregnant ? Why does she keep rubbing her tummy that way?' (Once again, our narc was caressing herself uncontrollably) ;
- (On seeing the raised 'veggie' beds) 'OMG those look like graves. Imagine how scary it must look at night.' ;
- 'What's with the silly hat ?' ;
- 'Ugh.' ;
- 'Why is she so mean to the blonde ?' ;
- 'What's with the on and off lisp ?' ;
- 'Ugh.'
- 'She talks a lot.' ;
- 'Oh, shuuuuut up." ;
- 'Never again.'

I feel even more validated.

 

[MissMidnight]

Nothing screams “a happy marriage” quite like a wife who could not possibly be more disinterested in her husband!

 

[K18]

Guys!!!!!!! It's happening!!!!!!! Buckinghamshire is going into tier 3 on saturday but Northamptonshire is staying in tier 2. Lets see which one Lady Lydia of the bungalow claims to live in now!!

 

[Elle Belle]

Hi Tattlers

I've now uploaded my final reel of 2021. They call ME the queen of reels, not Tamara. Quality over quantity, Tamara! I'm not saying she's a slut. I'm just surprised Facebook hasn't made her vagina a place to 'check in' yet. Can you believe Josie revealed my study desk first? My study desk that I bought for my husband for my third anniversary for my perfect gentlemen's study that I like to sit in. Sorry, I couldn't find any medication for that psychotic stalker condition she has. But, I hope she makes Charlie happy. And by happy. I mean gives him syphilis. Speaking of Josie and Charlie, did you see that shit my husband served me? They'd throw a fit. He may have the most popular personality type, but he's a worthless sack of shit to me. But, even a sack of shit can be used as a fertiliser and serve a purpose. Who even wants a plate full of vegetables? I'm not a fucking rabbit.

Those trolls commenting on whether Karen Millen has employed a trans model is so below my new Hermès belt. My husband will tell you I'm all woman where the sunshine's. As long as he doesn't have a headache, or is stuffed, or has house elf duties, or is...well whatever. My life coach who I employ amongst my other staff told me to just ignore the haters. I don't have an attitude. Just a rare personality no-one can't handle. I really ought to take his advice though, as I've got such weak wrists from all the fanging back at them in the comments section. But, what does my life coach know. He's such a stoopy moo moo. Get back to me when you learn the rest of the alphabet. At least I never step on anyone to achieve my success. Bots don't have feelings. I don't do anything that conflicts with my core beliefs. Although I am averse to buying things with my own money, but there's always one exception.

I'll be so glad to see the back of 2020. I've had many ups and downs. My own resilience inspires me more than anything. I totally deserve that membership at Soho Farmhouse. If only just for putting up with Josie for a whole year. I almost found my festive spirit...in the liquor cupboard. I would wish you all a Merry Christmas, but I won't. My personality type is borderline introvert. I'm just very good at figuring out who's worth talking to. Most of you aren't. Cawwee said I remind her a lot like Santa Claus; I work only one day a year and spend the rest of it judging her. She says that like it's a bad thing.

Love Lydia xx

 

[Chart86]

I just had to do it it enraged me so much. I'll find another dog food company and don't work with these idoits. If she was a dog lover she'd pay for the food and ask them to donate the freebie to a dog in need.

 

[E_Greene]

COVID/soppy rant.... Well, blow me, we’ve gone into immediate lockdown....thankfully I finished my Christmas shopping etc this morning (nothing gifted in this household). Shout out to my fellow nurses across the world (I’ve seen a few of you on here....we’ve got this!!!) and a bigger shout out to front line workers and anyone else who’s working their ass off personally and/or professionally but having a tough time....we got you!!! I’m a lead nurse and my colleagues and I are suffering but we’re rolling up our sleeves and getting on with it, doing the best we can. My better half is the kindest, most lovely man in the world who happens to be ‘old bill’ and regularly keeps me in check I want to say a huge Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all the fabulous ladies and gents on here. I seriously don’t know why any influencer would be pissed to have a thread on here...it’s hilarious! No death threats (Lydia) ...Just honest opinion and banter and the funniest people on the interweb. If I don’t get a “SHE FANGS” @Elle Belle T-shirt from Santa there’s going to be some difficult conversations in my non grade II listed house over the festive period. I know you’re a fabulous lawyer but you have to get published! @Oops 😬 you are a literary genius, I don’t know you personally but you remind me of someone I work with who has the purest, kindest, selfless heart and for that I thank you....we need more people like @Oops 😬 sweet Jesus I hope I’ve tagged the right person I’m horribly clumsy in my day to day life and on anything remotely tech. Finally, @AmaliaLana and @K18 you are my spirit animals. Everything I want to convey, you two say it to perfection with added aplomb which makes me regularly snort out my uncomfortable morning coffee I loves you all (as we say in Wales) xxxxxx

 

[TacoSarah]

I'm surprised no one else has commented on youtube. I think they probably have but that Lydia and team are just deleting/blocking them. The video has an integrated partnership with Cult Beauty, I wonder how they feel about paying someone when they're flouting lockdown laws.

 

[Lola Faith]

I think this Vlogmas has shown us more than ever what an unhappy, empty, emotionally empty person Lydia is. Blogging is not for her, it's basically killing her. She's trying to look a certain way and using fillers and botox to do that, getting her teeth done is no big deal but it's for the same reason. She's never happy with her hair, she's trying to be as thin as possible, she covets everything anyone else in the industry has, and must copy it.

I think it all got a million times worse when she became successful and started to earn good money and realised she could get so much stuff for her new house free. She obviously never really looked into that when she lived in her little house, because all her content was fashion and beauty.

For her to tweet that she's so stressed, when three days earlier she announced she'd finished work for the year shows that most probably her stress is self induced, this competitive need to get the next best thing, to turn a northamptonshire bungalow into a cotswolds cottage/country estate.

As much as we laugh at her and comment on her behaviour, It is truly a sad situation for her to be in, and it cannot carry on for that much longer, she's obviously making herself ill over it, driving Carrie mad, and really I think Ali knows that she's only happy when she's getting new things and planning new projects. I think he still tries to make her happy but she's sucked all the life out of him, and I don't think it will be that long before he decides that being with her is not furthering his career, it's just making him miserable and there's no love.

 

[Elle Belle]

Vlogmas Day 14

- She begins laying in bed saying she wouldn't normally start a vlog like this. EVERY frickin' vlog starts in your dressing gown, Lydia. Some mornings it's best to fill the sink with coffee, dunk your head in it and suck.
- Her life coach sent over the Myers-Briggs personality test. She's never felt so understood. It's like reading a book on her personality type. She's the rarest type. Everything happens for a reason regardless of your personality type, Lydia. You're an asshole. That's the reason.
- Ali's done his. She says he's the most popular form of personality. She says everyone always likes Ali. Ali, it's really better to have loved and lost (*just lost) than live with a lisping, duck-lipped, cinched-in, grabby psycho all your life.
- She reads out their strengths and weaknesses. Ali says his is thick as clay. True story. Some days I wish I had a crappy education so your stupidity wouldn't bother me so much.
- She's creative, insightful, passionate. She rarely enjoys succeeding at another's expense. She gloats this is her in a nutshell. Don't get it twisted. No-one confuses your 'difficult woman' arrogance for feminism. So shut it back down.
- She doesn't take well to criticism. Never be ashamed of who you are. Unless you're you.
- She won't say people who work for her work for her. She says she works with them. Pretty sure you you didn't clarify this in your list of all SIX of your staff. I'm refraining from using all the swear words in one sentence.
- Her personality type is prone to burnouts. That's why she has to schedule. She acknowledges it's not because she particularly works overly hard, it's her personality. Can you die from constipation? I'm a little concerned with how full of shit you are.
- More house updates. The number of times I think 'I don't fucking care' is really getting out of hand. She always expects to be disappointed by builders, but she's not been let down yet by these ones. Knock Knock. Who's there? Fuck. Fuck who? Fuck you.
- Lumi is licking her fur. Lydia says oh you're having a bath right next to the food (the gifted Christmas dinner). That house is just one tent away from a full blown circus.
- She's had a frantic day. Lauren has told her she needs to close the study door until reveal day. Carry on with these fascinating reveals that last all of approximately 67 days. I'll watch from a distance.
- She says she has Blenheim Palace all to herself. She's running around the palace like a Russian princess. She's found a sagey heritage green room with trunks. If she's ever found a room made just for her it's this. I rest easy at night knowing if I ever need a stick, I can take one out of your ass.
- Now they're eating food in the car. She talks with her mouth full. How the crown fell.
- She was going to open parcels with us, but she'll save that until tomorrow's vlog. May every sock you wear slightly rotate just enough for it to be uncomfortable.
- This is the most Christmassy thing she's done this year, as she's not felt comfortable going to the Christmas markets or Christmas shopping. But, you're content to break lockdown rules, and allow 878 packages and 47 workmen into the house on the daily. Oh COVID-19's not your problem. You're just a lazy fuckface.
- Back to the personality test which she's been thinking about all day. They both looked at each other and said no when there was one question about stepping on someone else to achieve success. She's totally against this. If anything conflicts with her core beliefs she's not able to accept it at all. You've highlighted this twice in one vlog now, Lydia. Never try to mess up someone's life with a lie. When yours can be destroyed with the truth.

 

[Chart86]

They emailed me back saying they were sorry to see me go - I've been a customer for over a year so have spent a fair bit with them. They reiterated they donate a meal for every new subscriber - I'm sorry but it's just not the point. This was my response...

 

[K18]

No one is going to want to buy that house once it comes up for sale as its identity is too confused. It's too big for a retired family, too hard for a family with children to convert those dressing rooms back. Now it has a small garden as most of it is given over to the graveyard/greenhouse. It's really only going to appeal to another blogger who will spend the next five years changing it all over again. I live in a village and whenever I see houses put up for sale I check them out online to see how they are on the inside (I'm sure I'm not alone in this). We had a bungalow in a quiet village, a 60's bungalow and it had been decorated in a blogger style (that Mrs Hinch, DIY on a budget style, if you belong to that group on Facebook you know what I mean, eleventy-three shades of grey) it took ages to sell, whereas any home in this village is normally sold within days.

Ahh that FB group is pure entertainment

I was just saying this to my hubby, I have roped him into this saga she does doesn’t she. She does nothing for it of the goodness of her heart

The look of contempt on Lydias face when Depop Dee bought that big present for Carrie.

 

[sushimama]

Is she really getting a butcher’s block just so she could start cooking roasts at home?

That’s her main problem regarding everything, she can’t get into something before buying ALL the equipment first. She wants to start running, she first needs a new apple watch, the most expensive running shoes and the trendiest clothes; when she wants to get into gardening she can’t just start slowly, she needs 6 huge garden beds and a fucking greenhouse; when she wants to learn how to cook she needs to redo her whole kitchen first.

When in reality you can do all that with zero budget and it makes so much more sense to see what you need after a while and really invest in things that are calculated and make your life easier. Throwing yourself into something without any actual knowledge just makes you do some really expensive mistakes. I know she can afford it, but it is still stupid.

 

[MissMidnight]

Lyds can’t say she wasn’t warned.
I wager my house that she’s scrambling for an excuse as I type!

 

[E_Greene]

Gentleman's study ......faccccccccccccccccccck off! cue the vertically challenged, ex electrician flogging musky aftershave with moody filters pretending to read The Financial Times with a monocle ....so pretentious and predictable

 

[Sukia]

I don't know if it was pointed before but this kind of vague clickbaity sequence of video names I find lowest of the low, teasing about potential pregnancy and loss. I find this fucking disgusting.

 

[Vicki2221]

I know I'm way behind, but just saw Ali's blog with the roast. They talk about deciding to cook their own roasts like they have decided to take a course in quantum physics. You can see how utterly intimidated and confused they both are at the prospect. Lydia is so awkward and uncomfortable in her own kitchen. It's so weird and quite pathetic.

 

[Elle Belle]

Hi Tattlers

It's been my most successful vlogmas to date. But I've had a few knocks these last few weeks. I've got 99 problems, but fortunately begging can solve at least 94 of them. I'm sick of reading about everyone else's problems on here though. My problems are worse than yours. Because they're happening to me. I've started clenching my jaw due to all the stress. It's like whiplash watching my bot count continuously go up and down. Josie also dared to trump my porch by vlogging her country house tour. I have this sneaky suspicion that I'm going to have to ruin another bitch. Then, Amelia launching her own jewellery brand. I like that she tries to compete with me - at least she has a goal. Unrealistic and unobtainable, but least it's a goal. And, to top it off, the builders dared to leave their tools on my veg beds. My poor sprootlings. I made my husband transform into his electrician alter ego and pre-warn them silly moo moos. He had the audacity to refuse. Like Dorothy, I attract men who are brainless, heartless or cowardly.

But, please do keep calling me salty. How do you know? You have no taste. I'm rising higher! I just don't align with so many people. The only reason THESE people are alive, is because I don't own a wood chipper. I hate when you comment what happened to the sweet and pretty old me. Well bitches like you killed it. And, rest assured lips will get addressed if I have them done lovelies. I don't need you to troubleshoot me. My business isn't your business. Unless you're my thong, don't be up my ass.

I've just turned my out of office on. I don't enjoy spinning plates. And, I definitely need that 2 day spa break after this shit. Plus, Buckinghamshire is about to go into Tier 3. I have to conceal my border residence and border insanity at all costs. My SIX staff still have to work though. The girls in the office would work 7 days per week if I allowed them to. They're just so fascinated to learn more about me. But, the audacity of Cawwee suggesting I eat some of her birthday cake. I'm allergic to food vegetables cake. I break out in fat. Sometimes when dealing with people you can't help but stop and think yep I'm about to get my first assault charge.

Anyway Happy Holidays. If there's anything I can do for you don't hesitate to forget it.

Here's to another year of pretending I like people!!!

Love Lydia xx

 

[Milking Keynes]

One of the comments on Ali’s flog “Why is he drinking champagne if he’s a muslim?” Someone responds “No - his name is short for Alistair.”

 

[Gertrude]

I got about 20 minutes into the latest vlog and had to stop when she opened the envelope with the gifted hotel stay with spa treatment and dinner. 'We both bloody need it, don't we' she shouts over to Ali.

Excuse me? Has she been through some terrible trauma this year that I'm not aware of? (hairgate doesn't count)

She makes my blood boil and I'm struggling to even hate watch her content now.

 

[Elle Belle]

Vlogmas Day 13

- Strong start. She's in her dressing gown. She took the weekend off and then an extra day. And then she rose like a phoenix from the ashes. Well, until she got jaw whiplash.
- She's getting her hair cut. She emphasises she's on a hair journey again. She didn't really want to have a fringe, but her hair keeps breaking. Careful Lydia. Your bitterness is showing.
- She's had her puppy training consultation. She's doing crate training. She can't believe any pet shop sells Pedigree Chum as it only has 12% nutritional value. That's about 12% more than your diet TBF. I could tell you to eat shit. But that would be cannabalism.
- She's doing a risk assessment for the dog. She's emailed it to the puppy trainer. She said she's going to break his balls. Are you just constantly mad Lydia because your tampon is in too far?
- She highlights her hair needs to be so badly washed, so she feels sorry for her hairdresser. It's not Despina. A hairdresser called Ruby. We should just call you whor-a the explorer.
- She said to Ali she doesn't mind the builders putting their tools on her empty veg beds, but she caught them putting wood on her broad beans. She states she doesn't want to beat someone up. So she said to Ali he might want to pre-warn them, okay, okayyy. Some people will never change. They'll just die assholes.
- She says she's dressed to the 9s (with greasy hair) and it's a sunny, wonderful day. She's all about those positive vibes. Minus the bitching about her hair and builders obvs. Drama. Chaos. Bullshit. Just another routine day then.
- She fangs when things go wrong people always try to troubleshoot for her. She highlights it's nothing she's done herself, it was a mistake done by someone else on her hair. She again confirms it's not her. Annnnd, fucking poof...all my patience is gone...ta-dah!
- She can't believe it's 3pm and it's nearly going dark. I'm silently mouthing the words WTF.
- She's got a flower delivery from Karen Millen for her second edit. It's the absolute dream. She lisps you have no idea, no idea, what's coming next. I only wish it was a stick and you was a piñata.
- She's ordered more puppy stuff. She says she's gone lead and collar crazy. When you're dead, you don't know your dead. It's only difficult for others. It's the same when you're stupid.
- She's examining the veg beds now. Ali says it was the right thing to level the beds. She fangs about her broad beans again as she's just so proud of them. On the internet you can be anything you want. Strange how you always chose stupid, Lydia.
- Ali's cooking dinner AGAIN. She says there's a LOT OF VEG. Ali asks you don't like it do you. She's fanging at him as he doesn't follow a recipe. She said Josie and Charlie would refuse to eat it. I'll solve this dispute. Just please stop posting pictures of your food. Unless it's stuck in your throat.
- She's had her peak performance session with her life coach. He asks questions and challenges her thought processes. She felt back on the ball, but sadly she's had some knocks in the last few weeks. Both of them were like damn it. She sometimes wonders that he'll say I don't have a response to her problems. She's going to be a paying customer...well after the free sessions run out. She never thought she would need a life coach as she's such a motivated person. I mean you're not. You're a lazy fucknut. All I know is one of us is right. And the other one is you.
- Ali's now doing some electrics around the house whilst she's relaxing on the couch. I guess you're technically alive. But then so is a potato.
- She's bought him a desk for his office for his anniversary present, as it had has leather on it. With a plaque with from Lydia on it. Ok, I'll try and phrase this so I don't hurt your feelings. You annoy the ever living fuck out of me.
- They're going to London tomorrow. As she wants a new belt. To cinch more sacks in. On a scale of 1 to 10. My patience is at fuck you.
- She's in bed and asks Ali to go get her retainer from the pantry. She moans she thought she was finished, but she's got 4 retainers left. She then eyefucks her smile. Sometimes I wish your mouth had a backspace key.
- She's ending the vlog. She doesn't know where she's got to. I do. I just don't know who turned the thermostat setting to HELL?