Lydia Millen #48 Deck the halls with pheasants and holly; bots, naps and Bolly

[Elle Belle]

Is it too early to start a list of our favourite Millen-Gordon moment of the year?

Raised Coffin Beds
Globy Failure
Fillers gone rougue

Thanks for the inspo.


The Top Ten Best/Worst (ever so subjective) Lydiot Moments of 2020!

10. Coming in at last place, but still a moment. Her very own sought after edit with a 'luxurious brand'. The (m)asses guessed Chanel or Dior. Slightly off. It was Karen Millen. It was a sellout. Before she even advertised it. The heat index is somewhere between OMG and WTF. It gets worse. Far worse. Nasty Gal. If ever there was a singular word to describe Lydia. It's NASTY.

9. Next up. Depoping shit as new with tags that have already been worn or used. The highlight was flogging the clock for a whole pound. A fucking pound. Or used hangers. In an economic recession where people are losing their businesses and livelihoods. This one nearly didn't make the countdown though. But got to give credit to Depop Dee who packaged it up and trotted down to the post office. For a fucking pound.

8. The community guidelines. The non-existent community guidelines to be exact. I was so here for that rant. 'Say it with your chest'. 'I will not protect you, I am not your mother'. Christ someone didn't have their afternoon nap that day did they?

7. The tumbleweed is picking up speed now. Accepting free food hampers in the middle of a fucking global pandemic, then bragging in her defence how she's saving the world one heritage tomato at a time. Let me break this down for you fisher-price style, Lydia. I don't have a problem with you. My problem is you.

6. This is when it starts to go really wrong. Promoting herself as 'the best white person to help black people' during the BLM movement. Here's the tumbleweed again. The movement was soon forgotten. No mention of the first WOC US Vice President though. You know, somewhat monumental in history. Ignorance can be cured. Stupid is forever however. TBF, I'm not even sure she knows what movement is after spending the year horizontal in bed or on the sofa.

5. Mid league, but still a hard hit. Accepting a gifted cat for content, when you know already your own cat is socially inept. 'Lumi doesn't make friends easy just like her mummy'. Let's get a Daschund puppy then for the gram. Wonderful idea. I'm not a psychologist, but I can see your problem Lydia and it's you.

4. The raised coffin beds. After the growing season has finished. Before the greenhouse was installed. For fucknuts who do not eat vegetables. If you could see yourself through my eyes Lydia, you'd call yourself an idiot too.

3. Edging closer to that top spot. The hair dramz. OD'in on #bekind quotes on the gram, but bullying a heavily pregnant hairdresser, because...wait for it...her roots were a 0.0001% shade too dark. It was just like the shittiest summer ever. She needed a week in bed and abundances of lavender to recover. Her biggest achievement of 2020 was well...surviving 2020. I don't know much sign language. But here's two words with one finger.

2. Strong contender. Fake bots galore. We see you Lydia! We see! 'I'll grow my channel how I want, and so can you lovely'. For as often as you lie...why aren't you better at it by now?

1. No brainer for the top spot. Glóby Flopitis. Ripping off, then silencing her loyal followers for overpriced plastic mitts. They threw her to the wolves and she came out with a headache. Life is not like a box of chocolates, it's like a jar of jalapeños. What you do today Lydia, might burn your ass tomorrow. You can write that down. Along with your 'how to wash one's hair in the shower' guide. Moron.

 

[Oops...]

Plebeian Rhapsody

This isn’t real life
All this is fantasy
Caught in my man pride
No escape from my vanity

Watch me til dawn
Then give a big yawn and see
I’m just a poor boy
So give your sympathy - to...meeeeeee

Drama - just had a plan
Shaved my beard off now my boat
Has a case of teenage bloat
Drama - face was looking old
So now I’ve gone and filled it all sky-high

Drama - ooh....ooh...ooh...ooh
Didn’t mean to make you snore
I’ll be flogging at your door
This time tomorrow
To carry on - carry on
As if it really matters

I see a little pirouetter of a man
Scaramouche, Scaramouche - can you play a man’s banjo?
Coffin beds are frightenin‘, do my heels need heightenin’?
Oh!
Who’s Galileo, Galileo, please can someone let me know?
Galileo, Galileo, in the comments down below

I’m just a Sparky
Livin’ with my Narcy
BishMillen - no - she will not let me go!
(Let him go)
BishMillen - no - she will not let me go!
(Let him go)
Fortissimo...oh...oh...oh
Mama Mia, Mama Mia, please can I be on your show?
Mama Mia, Mama Mia, I make people yawn you know

Well hell! The hub has a devil in a tub for meeeee
For meeeeee - for meeeeeeee....

So you think you can thwart me and leave me to cry?
Told my Whispering Angel - Here’s mud in your eye
Oh baby, cant do this to me baby
Just got to get out, just got to get right out of here

Puppy’s tiny patters
Anyone can see
Instagram’s what matters
Instagram’s what matters to meeeeeee...

 

[womnle]

Lurking lurker here coming into the light... I used to lap up bloggers circa 2013 but I don’t follow any influencers etc anymore, though I remember Lydia and her enormous schnoz and dyed black hair and those truly terrible vinyl leggings.

Anyway, a few months ago, a sort-of friend (the wife of one of my husband’s friends) sent me the photo of Lydia sat on her garden wall in her Dubarry gilet saying ‘this woman looks just like you!’ and I had a look at the profile. COULD NOT believe it was the same person. I mean, flattered, but no. We’re both dark haired white women in Dubarry boots and that is where the similarity ends.

Did some digging because I was utterly baffled how this was the same human being, found this page, enjoyed the lols, made an account etc. My dad is a fifth generation farmer (the type who ties up a 35 year Barbour jacket with baler twine rather than buy a new one) and it makes me cackle SO MUCH to see her trying to emulate a country lifestyle, while having a plastic bottle of Hellmann’s mayonnaise on the table and wearing a full face of make up to faff around in the ‘garden’. People from the country don’t buy Neptune, dear. We can’t afford it. We don’t ‘plan an outfit’ to go to the garden centre. We are too busy pulling sheep out of ditches or mucking out stables.

Some observations just from the last few weeks of pure joy watching these vlogs:

1) This woman drives 90 minutes each way to visit Burford Garden Centre, a fucking garden centre?? My mum made me go there with her this afternoon to get some Christmas lights and it took 20 minutes; still too long (I’m joking it was lovely but... it’s a garden centre?)
2) Why does she mention how expensive everything is? At said GC, I found the wool and zinc Nkuku baubles she said in her vlog were ‘soooo expensive’, they were SIX POUNDS. SIX POUNDS. I SHIT YOU NOT. She buys a £2,000 handbag every month but £6 for a Christmas deco? Too much.
3) I have those Schoffel jumpers (fucks sake ) and they are MASSIVE. Girlfriend is not a size 6, why must she always bring it up?
4) The dog thing has incensed me. I have a little black mongrel. She is my child. I would die for her. But OH MY GOD THE HAIR. What is she going to do with the white carpets and the white sofas? Torn between getting out the popcorn and calling the RSPCA in advance.

Thanks for the laughs guys and gals. V entertaining.

 

[Elle Belle]

Vlog Thursday 26th November - 'Sharing the News'


- Strong start. She says you may have not noticed if you didn't miss her that much, but she didn't put a vlog out on Monday as she's been prepping for Vlogmas. She's going to be taking it day by day, it'll be chill, but she's AIMING to do Monday to Friday. She wants the weekends to herself. There may be days that she'll miss, if she's having a bad day, and tells us AGAIN she often suffers from burnouts. You are fine, Lydia, lazy but fine. Being a moron isn't something a doctor can fix.
- Everyone in the office is stressed about vlogmas. Fuck the zombie apocalypse. It's never going to happen. Worry about the fucktard apocalypse. It's already upon us.
- She sings it's an exciting day as the porch is starting. Just another day in paradise. Minus the paradise.
- She says she looks like she's been busy. And that's because she has. She's in the Guy Fawkes getup. So basically she's filmed a reel all day. She says she's not seen anyone do the hat hack before, so she best get it up quick. No-one is copying this shit, Lydia. NO-ONE. I can't explain it to you though. I'm not the dumb-ass whisper.
- She has MORE reorganising to do around the house. She doesn't like the house being a mess. She wonders what are people thinking about them. Having the study finished will be such a weight off her mind. It's just a matter of time before they add syndrome after your last name.
- She says speaking of fluffies, she said Ali didn't want to chose Lumi when they went looking for a cat. She tells him this a lot, not that she likes to rub it in. Bullshit. They're getting a dog. She was contemplating getting a dog to go running with, but she may fall out of love with running, so this can't be her reason for getting a dog. She likes short haired dogs. It's so a Dachshund. Jealousy looks terrible on you, Lydia. Yet here we are. AGAIN.
- She states if her wisteria dies she'll be very upset. The workmen have had to move it to fit the porch. I'm sorry, but I could not hear your first world problems over my internal hope that you'd shut the fuck up.
- She spots some pheasants in the garden and lisps helloooo lads. At this point, I can't tell if you're on too many drugs or not enough.
- Ali's office is somewhere for her to sit if she needs too. She's jealous of the oak bookcase and wishes she had it in her own office. At least your personality is wooden, Lydia.
- She says Ali's been vlogging all day in the house, so she's had no other option but to do housekeeping. Ali, after working all day, is making dinner, so she can have a bit of me time. CAN'T DEAL. She's trying to remain positive. She battles with it. There's a lot of negativity in the world. She holds a lot of that inside. She has strict routines to help. This is the official last word she's saying - you don't have to be the hardest worker, you could have laid in bed all day and just breathed, but you still deserve some self-care and that's basically what she's doing today. She's going to treat herself. She's not labelling it as me time though. She's excited but very nervous. She falls in love with things. It's an ESPA ad for 5% off. Only 5% off over cyber weekend. LOL. If dignity was money. You could maybe buy a soda, Lydia. They're all her favourite or a game-changer. She's saving the shower gel for those special days.
- She smells the body oils to see which one her body is drawn to the most. Yes, I'm still here. It's just what you said was so goddamn stupid I think I slipped into a coma for a few minutes.
- Ali showcases his baby dick fetus face. He's made dinner. He wanted veg in his life. I'm only surprised he didn't want it puréed and spoon fed.
- They've secured the puppy and changed the pet account to the MG family. Ali says she can get a pony now as well. They won't get the puppy until after NY. She's been reading up on how to train a puppy. The most important thing is it learning its name. I say the most important thing is you learning how to spell it. She's calling Ali for filming a short clip, then editing, then continuing vlogging. He highlights his small brain capacity. I can literally hear all his four brain cells rallying to assemble a coherent thought. He blames lockdown. Ali, you got it right first go. Don't waste those precious brain cells.
- She ends the vlog saying don't miss me too much. A list of things ain't nobody got time for. 1, That.

 

[AmaliaLana]

Can someone email a brand and get them to send Lydia a scarf like that to wear on her head please

I also think we may need an @Muff_Puff version of that photo

I'm not muff_puff but had an inspirational spark

 

[Elle Belle]

Hi Tattlers

So the girls in the office are stressed about vlogmas. Depop Dee dared to ask about a Christmas bonus. I kindly informed her that keeping her job is the new raise. No stress for me though. I've upped my self-care in preparation. Even if all I've done today is laid down and breathed, I deserve it. Creativity takes time. God created the world in seven days, but took nine months to create me. So clearly I'm a big deal.

As the festive season approaches, be careful outside. It's raining shady bitches everywhere. Did you see Claire Chanel digging me out about my clickbait titles? Thank you for your in put lovely. Now kindly fuck off. Every time I get over my hate for her, she does something that makes me want to push her in front of a bus. And, if that wasn't traumatic enough, Caroline Hirons then threw shade at Karen Millen. She should back off unless she wants her next period to come out of her nose. I don't understand why you all think I'm rude though. I'm letting them walk away with their lives. Not my problem you can't handle my British sarcasm. You do British how you want to and so will I. But, I would like to apologise for anyone I haven't offended. Please be patient. I'll get to you shortly. It's not all doom and gloom though. After months of searching for the perfect glasses, they're finally mine. And a new puppy is on the way. I asked the breeders to speed up the pregnancy, so he arrives in time for vlogmas. It was a negative. But carry on rubbing it in with your dog panto. It's not that I don't care. Wait yes it fucking is. Sage best have a leading role though.

I've not posted any Black Friday or Christmas gift guides. I was going to, but then I realised this nap isn't going to take itself. I'll leave it to the suckers professionals. You can call me lazy. People keep thinking I care. Weird. Besides, anything I put my name to is a sellout. So, it just means more presents left for me. I'm expecting them to be extra special this year, given everyone's saved so much money in lockdown. I could already feel the vlogmas burnout, so I've decided to take tomorrow off from vlogging. I'll cheer myself up with another 10K bots. I used to be a real followers person, but followers ruined that for me. Success comes at a cost. I know money can't buy you happiness. But, I'd rather cry in a mansion. We can't all be born with a silver spoon like Fleur. She may be rich, but remember lovely that there's always someone cooler, smarter, stronger and sexier than you. That would be me. Anyway, goodnight haters. Karma means I can rest easy tonight knowing all the people I treated badly today, had it coming.

Love Lydia xx

 

[Julia123]

Ok I admit I actually watched Ali’s whole vlog.... the end was a little sad but I know..: it’s his bed so he needs to lie in it. The entirety of the month of Xmas decor and footage in the house is for Lydia’s “channel” so he’s not allowed to vlog or show anything on his channel. Besides the obvious... am I the only one who thinks she is the worst selfish bitch for calling her vlogmas “Xmas with the mgs in THEIR SHARED HOME” and making him help her..: but not allowing him to vlog any of it on his channel? He has to come up with something elsewhere... during lockdown... and can’t do anything in the house that he lives in...

 

[sushimama]

Completely off topic, but if we're talking about our furry friends then I just have to share extremely good news. Idk if any of you remember but at the same time Lumi was sick, my three yo ragdoll got diagnosed with lymphoma cancer and they told me she only has weeks or maybe best case a few months left. Two months and countless examinations later they found out all her symptoms went away and they must've misdiagnosed her. She is completely healthy and will be with me for many many years to come. It's probably the best thing that could happen after such a terrible diagnose. So Nori (or Gnocchi as I call her most of the time haha) will be a happy spectator to your beautiful show.

 

[Oops...]

Was anyone else as TERMINALLY RIVETED as I was watching Ali trying to earn some extra pocket money for Christmas flogging the gloves one can text with whilst running?

I really love how anything ending in ...ing...is pronounced in...there is no letter G in Ali’s limited lexicon. Isn’t that interestin? Scintillatin in fact. Nothin can be done abahhht it ....

Oh, BTW - I have a solution to the perennial problem of the heel-rubbing. I mention this only in the interests of avoidance of the too long explanation of rubbed heels ever again. Strap your self in, dear...here it comes...wait for it...

SOCKS...

 

[Elle Belle]

Dear Tattlers

It's your boi, Ali. Lydia made me log on here to put you all in your place. She's honestly an angel in RL. She wants you to know the horns are just there to hold up her halo. Ok, who am I fucking? I've clearly OD'd on all the balsam. Did you know when someone is murdered the police investigate the spouse first? And that tells you everything you need to know about our marriage.

I'm sure you've all seen the disaster that is the veg beds. She's as useless as tits on a boar hog. I'm not laughing at her bad luck though. I'm merely cheering on karma for doing such a good job. Apparently it's all my fault though! She doesn't have mood swings. She has the whole fucking playground. She reminds me on the daily that I should be grateful to be her husband, as she's giving me half a study that I can occasionally use if I ask her first. She lisped anyone after her would only be a downgrade. Or dead. Now, I'm not saying she's easy, but she's taken more loads than a washing machine. I bet all her exes only wished that shit was sped up on a time lapse. It is pertinent to note I'm not included in this activity, however. The first orgasm she'll ever give me is when she signs the divorce papers. But, as one of you Tattlers poetically put it 'SHE WILL NOT LET ME GO'. Apparently, a house elf is for life not just for Christmas.

Seven out of seven days I don't give a fuck about anything she has to say. But, on a serious note, I'm extremely worried for Lumi when Sage arrives. I tried my best to convince her a new puppy is a mistake. But Lydia knows best. She told me I have the right to my opinion. And I have the right to be offended or to get over it. But, either way she's good. She does have bigger balls than me, I suppose. Her's had to be put on her chest to stop chaffing, however.

Anyway, enjoy your Saturday evening. I need to make dinner, I've worked all day, so naturally it's my turn. Tonight I'm drinking whiskey until she's someone else's problem. The chances of catching her in a good mood are about as slim as a lion turning vegetarian. Which is basically what I am, now she's made protein a contraband. Why you do think I have to style so many base layers to bulk up? I'd just be a walking two legged bumhole otherwise.

Laters, Ali

 

[Hi there]

Morning ladies and men. Please say hello to my best friend Casper who has turned one today. He is a working cocker the most loving and gentle fur baby. His most favourite things are cheese and cuddles x

 

[shiroyagisan]

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxSEVEN DWARF WALLS PRODUCTIONS PRESENTSxxxxxxxxxxxX



XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX in conjunction with Love in a time of Covid EnterprisesXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX



xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxFUR BABIES IN THE WOODSxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx




OUR OWN VLOGMAS PANTOMIME EXTRAVAGANZA FEATURING OURSELVES AND ALL OUR PETS ENSURING WE HAVE FUN AND DISTRACTION THIS YULETIDE.


WHADDERYA’ THINK?



I would love to write songs and poems about all the pets everyone has mentioned so far in this thread and would really love to hear from anyone who would like me to include their pets but who hasn’t already talked about them. Everyone who would like to could contribute too. I thought it would be lovely to have a lasting memento of all our pets alive now and also those who are waiting for us at Rainbow Bridge too. I could let you know who we have already got like Muffin Hunevoque 2 etc etc etc further down if some of you think it might be a good idea. I got excited over A Christmas Carol but after reading all the lovely posts last night and seeing how much everyone loves their dogs and cats (I rescued Teddy Bear nearly four years ago and he’s 15 and a half now. He is one of the greatest loves of my life and he’s a Duck Toller Retriever crossed with a Love Bucket )

Anyway its just an idea but let me know (maybe we won’t be allowed to do it here - not sure). I thought maybe all our pets could join forces to rescue Beggy and Grammy two little babies who are lost in the woods maybe x

I have a little cat I adopted from my local animal shelter this year - her name is Minnie (fitting as she's super mini!) and she's a black and white cat with cap and saddle markings She's also got a little black spot on her pink nose that is so goshdarn boopable!

Minnie is happy to take any role that involves sitting on things

And even replicate the pose from that oh-so-elegant scene in the GHD suite that Lydia "couldn't believe was all for [her]"!

 

[Elle Belle]

The Prequel Top Ten Lydiot Moments of 2020!

20. When your girl developed Munchausen Syndrome. 'Gluten tummy' aka OD'in on Dominos. I only wish I could order karma like pizza and have it delivered in thirty minutes or less. Hula Hoops are her absolute favourite though. Steal a packet and she'll mentally visualise your death. Watch out Cawwee's fwwwend. 'PMDD' aka well just like her normal self every other day of the year. Someone must have lit the fuse on her tampon that particular day though. The 'wild migraines' hit differently. She actually thought she had a 'brain injury' following the realisation that her Globy launch was a shit show. Or so we thought. It was all owing to her red roots following hairmageddon. I don't know what's really going on with you right now health wise, Lydia. But I'm pretty sure it has something to do with you being an asshole.

19. The height dramz. Her 5ft 7” is not tall to some. Not short to some. It is bullshit to all though.

18. When she bragged how everyone is commenting on how well she was thriving at the beginning of lockdown, as she didn't have to adapt as much as her peers. Did you eat the whole bowl of stupid, Lydia? The story didn't start well. It didn't end well either. But I'm sure you'll still count your bought 1mil bots coincidently at NY as a raving success.

17. Speaking of lockdown. The eyebrows. Lydia, your eyebrows look like mutated corpulent caterpillars. But that's none of my business.

16. Sage. Just fucking sage. The end. I would rather stick needles in my eyes rather than wear sage. Or yours, Lydia.

15. Alleging she turned down a luxurious brand collaboration, not once but three times, until they agreed to her conditions. The luxurious brand turned out to be Karen Millen. Let that sink in. After it nearly went into liquidation. Until it was rescued by BooHoo. I'm sorry Lydia, I'm having a hard time believing you're in demand by anyone, due to your track record of being a lying liar that constantly lies out of your liar lying hole.

14. The creation of Lydia Elise Linen. Linen everywhere. Never ever was I so glad for summer to end. Ever.

13. The incessant referencing to the house that got away. It got lower. Scrapbooking the said house that got away. What's your problem Lydia? Is your vibrator broken. MOVE ON!

12. Her emerging love for sprootlings. Bad enough. But hearing her lisp this in a Scottish accent fucked me up. If only Mary Poppins handed out spoonfuls of shut the fuck up rather than sugar.

11. The cat dramz. The cat dramz that precluded Winston specifically. Taking Lumi to the vet 897 times because she OD'd on coconut oil and poisonous flowers/plants. If only someone had told them. They did I hear you say. But Lydia doesn't listen to unsolicited advice. It didn't stop here. No. Accusing the neighbouring farmer of shooting Affiliate Lynx and burning his body. Pisstified. The state of being equal parts of pissed and mystified.

 

[Angeoudemon]

As we're approaching the festive season the MG's (in a Lydiacentric world it would only be Millen that hold any type of gravitas, but for the sake of old Alistair, we'll be kind and include him aswell) are in a fabulous Christmas mood!

This year they will perform their very own rendition of Dickens' beloved classic, "A Christmas Carol".

Cast (thus far):

The ghost of Christmas past - The Lady of the Manor herself, Lydia Elise Millen - Gordon


She remembers her decadent and luxe childhood Christmases, she has never mentioned them until very recently, but they truly were brilliant!
A little palm tree is all she has left....oh what a sorrow indeed:

Tiny Tim - Alistair (Ali for short, teehee) Millen-Gordon

Ali already had enough freebie clothes that were perfect for the role, the costume department shouted out with glee!
All that had to be done, to really get that authentic ragamuffin feeling, was to roll around inside the raised coffin beds and tend to his daily shores in Lydia's garden :

Ebenezer Scrooge - Dior et al who have the audacity not to pamper Lydia, what a disgrace! Humbug!!!!!

Auditions are still taking place, Lydia is a tough casting director so you better perform, let it all out through your chest people!

 

[Hellothere11]

How creepy and desperate do they sound

 

[Stefano]

Stop the effing world NOW!!!!!

I am rarely lost for words as you lovely Tattlers will know lol ... but bish please ... tonight you are really wanting to piss off alot of people are you not darling Lydiot!

Ok lets do a run down for those of you that cannot be arsed to watch this horse shit anymore: (I am sacrificing myself for everyone tonight ..martyrdom here I come!)

1: You get tired at the thought of opening your eyes at this point my love as you have the energy levels of a gnat! Hence the constant Berocca shots with whatever shite comes out of a pipette into that glass.
2: Your constant race in life to "be the first".. "get it up before anyone else does on the shithole media platform" and take credit for cutting fucking holes in an expensive hat is laughable. Nobel prizes/ medical breakthroughs/saving the planet you aint!!! But I suppose you have to be the first at doing something as you have lagged behind thousands of others in life!
3: You are supposedly a fashion blogger and you look like Gauyfawkes after the BBQ and you still cannot remember the names or models of the clothes you have on.... pathetic to say the least. Its like a Doctor going to a patient "You have this disease ... oh wait what is it called again?" TWAT!
4: You are so fixated on a picture perfect image to wonder what people are thinking about you having a Porch renovated .. well I would be more worried about what they think of you in general moreso than a porch..... probably that you are A) A nightmare neighbour B) You are rediculously wasteful and C) that you are far from important in their thoughts in the first place!
5: An Oak Porch as you frequently mention : Sustainability my arse when you already had a perfectly fine porch .. Nope cut down some more trees for ME ME ME!
6: Lummy/ or is it Lumi??? WTF is that cat always doing on top of counters and all over the bloody Kitchen .... filthy .. for someone who is so anal about everything in the house being of show home criteria ... basic hygiene you idiot! And dont get me started on how unprofessional you are to leave the "F" WORD IN A VLOG! You basic level persona is really showing recently.
7: You have decided to get a dog .... well well well .. no one saw that coming did they .. and NO : It was not your husbands decision .. stop fooling your bots love... YOU decided and so that is that! The fact that makes my piss boil is that it hasn't been a trend has it? It is not a fad is it? It is not a fashion item is it? You will have a designer dog .. we all know you better than you know yourself! You possibly would have gained some sympathy if you didnt follow the herd and got a lovely rescue puppy that needs a home for xmas and also that would provide ample content for good watching, (How you sourced it .. visits to the shelter...making the public aware of how desperate they are for adoption...making a charitable move to help another living creature out in life! But NO .. it will be pedigree .. sourced from a backyard breeder and full of defects solely to satisfy your lifetime urge to be like everyone else instead of bucking a trend! (BTW I have a beautiful little rescue pup that was abandoned when she was 4 months old in a ditch and she is the most beautiful little loving thing to have ever come into my life).
8: STOP STOP STOP justifying the need for a dog .... you have singlehandedly convinced yourself you need it for x/y/z reasons ..apart from the basic fact that you have never ever mentioned having a dog in your entire YT/FB/INSTA/Blogger career...... call a spade a spade darling .... you want "your" dog because "All the other kids have dogs Daddy".
9: If you are sooooo worried about your Wysteria dying .. simple answer .. DONT CHANGE THE EFFING PORCH!
10: "I love a dwarf wall" ..well you would as that would be a normal wall for you an Ali lol!
11: Keep on painting the house dark colours .. I am loving it ... so with the dungeon and the study and the coffins .. you are 1 step away from creating the Addams family mansion YAY!
12: You talk shite : "If you can hear Ali banging away it's because he is making food as he has had a busy day shooting"? Like what the actual Fuck are you on about, surely if he has been busy all day YOU should be preparing food you troglodite but nooooooo because you need "MEMEMEMEME time! (Pathetic is a word wasted on you).
13: A lesson with Lydia on staying positive: " You might have done nothing today but stay in bed but you deserve ..blah blah blah " You really are grating on me .. NOBODY STAYS IN BED ALL DAY you absolute idiot and waste of skin and bones ... no one can afford to stay in bed unless ofcourse they are Lydia who can beg her way out of nearly everything! ARGHHHHHHHHHH and hence your intro to a paid partnership from ESPA .. YOU ABSOLUTE CLUNGE! (British guys here will understand this reference lol)
14: You are changing the account for your pets for a reason love .. don't mix your words .. because it will give more traffic to your account and more money .. hence more begging from Pet stores etc etc etc .. we know how it works. As Ali mentions .. "a baby anything is lovely to have around" NO its another money maker ..talk shit all you want babes. Oh but please let your "wife" cut you off mid sentence ... you really showed her who is boss!
15: SHADE from the husband ...loved this part ... "Christmas with the MG's .. I need to be more in your vlogs then" .. you read us here Ali ... we love you babesxxx


I am DONEEEEEE ... Can't subject my brain to anymore guys ... so sorry xxxx
15:

 

[Oops...]

Announcement.

Ladies and Gentlemen our theatre is now open. Please note that there is to be no flash photography during the performance and no smoking is permitted in the theatre. All works contained within Fur Babies in The Wood is copyright material and may not be reproduced in any format whatsoever without the permission of the writer.

The writer wishes it to be known that Act 1 Scenes 1 and 2 will be performed tonight. These performances will continue nightly during the foreseeable future. Since she does not yet know the permitted length of a post she proposes to issue each scene separately and therefore apologises for the possible lack of continuity.

Thank you.

 

[Lola Faith]

Erm who could she mean?

 

[Habsy123]

Ok, I am three glasses deep in wine, very unhappy in my relationship and feeling emotional, I had to say something to Ali. Hopefully he sees the msg before LIDL reads here and deletes it and blocks me...
If he reads it but doesn’t block me instantly, I’ll know he read it first. If it’s read for a while but not deleted then suddenly I’m blocked, I’ll know it’s madam. HELP ME, I’ve gone insane

 

[Chez01]

Look what Caroline Hirons posted to her stories.. lydias collab haha