- So the vlog doesn’t start well. She’s missed an apostrophe in ‘it’s’ in the title. She’s personally trolling me. I’ll take it. Thank you for the tattler for linking a book on English grammar. The only problem is, I’m not sure if Lydia can actually read. Well other than the word ‘freebie’. Obviously. I’m not staying you’re stupid Lydia. I just think you have bad luck when it comes to thinking.
- Her sproutlings get a shout out. Again. The basil is a non-starter. Just like your launch then Lydia.
- She’s committed to her sproutlings’ health. Not your own health then Lydia? She’s eaten more gluten pasta. Standard. She’s ‘fighting gluten cramps’. I’ve never been to Northamptonshire; do they actually sell other groceries? Like the ones you eat, not just the ones you put in a show £400 Liberty fruit bowl. Somebody make it make sense to me because it just doesn’t.
- She’s on the beg for redesigning the front of the bungalow. She wants to emulate other Cotswolds stone houses. Why don’t you just claim squatter rights at Josie’s Lydia? The front of the bungalow is not rundown, but you know it needs to be more considered and considerate of the area. That would involve you moving then Lydia. I bet the locals saw their money flying out of their accounts as soon as you signed the mortgage.
- This is her forever home. Well until the divorce. Or until she realises her bungalow will never be in Buckinghamshire or the Cotswolds no matter how many times she says it out loud.
- She’s done a Pinterest board for said front bungalow designer. She wants her to be fully in the loop. She thinks the designer understands it. I think the designer probably knows how to do her job Lydia. Not everyone is a rookie like you.
- She reiterates she’s changing up the fire exit to a courtyard garden. Nah, still a fire exit. It’s all good to go. Heard that one before Lydia.
- She wants as much natural stones, fabrics and materials in her home. That’s the whole earth destroyed in one sentence then.
- The living room twig, sorry English oak branch, didn’t make it. She doesn’t know what happened. It was thriving, unlike this vlog. Maybe she forgot to water it. Maybe because, it was already dead. That tends to happen when you detach something from a living being. Human beings only use 10 percent of their brains. Lydia uses minus 10 percent.
- She said she’d ‘have to employ another member of staff to water all the fresh flowers she’d like to have in her home’. Delusions of grandeur again. You live in a bungalow in Northamptonshire Lydia. Not Buckingham Palace. Did you know that Buckingham Palace is not actually in Buckinghamshire? Maybe this is why she’s so geographically confused. If it’s ok for the Queen of England, then it’s ok for the Jester of Milton Keynes.
- She squeals at ‘the joy of people returning to work’. This is in reference to her having her living room cleaned and being able to order more packages. Not because people are able to earn a full living now or anything. And so much for not showcasing her free tit. You just did a full 360 Lydia. You back on your bullshit.
- She’s spilt sand from one of said packages. She gets fangy again as ‘someone obviously didn’t follow the fragile labels’. She now has to hoover. Asshole *cough*.
- Ali is being all Edward Cullen and down in the dumps apparently. Only difference is Edward is tall and loved his mrs. But Lydia does suck the life out of people. So similarities are to be had. She’s going to cook him something in the theramix to cheer him up. Lucky boy. She relates ‘cooking to her mood’. If she’s not feeling great she has no desire to cook. We know Lydia. The local pub knows. Dominos know. McDonalds know.
- She’s organised her organised pantry. She feels ‘zen as it was falling into disrepute’. All her stockpiling of food at the beginning of quarantine meant the cupboards were over-flowing. This one hit me different. Her actual lack of compassion and realisation to others. I’m just glad she doesn’t work in a food bank. They’d be closed faster than her replying yes to a freebie. They just wouldn’t be able to meet her high standards of organising. Who cares about starving children living in poverty. As long as you’ve got neatly labelled containers.
- She’s being a ‘cosy slothiest moo moo’ today. But she’s also had a very busy work day. No I don’t believe this either. She’s been working on a brand collaboration (aka begging to Liberty for free dinnerware). Definitely not on her own brand clearly. She’s also been doing stories. It takes it out of her, there’s lots of information to write up, like affiliate links, did you know? One would have thought she was writing a highly coveted piece on global economics in the current era for the New York Times.
- More terracotta plant pots to grow more watercress. Ali keeps forgetting to eat said watercress with his eggs in the mornings. Hint Lydia that he might not like your home-grown weeds. She apologised for going on about her ‘boring sproutlings’, but she ‘can’t believe how much joy they’re bringing her’. Put your pom poms down Lydia. She states she’ll ‘have pots coming out of her backside’. That’s not all that comes out of your ass Lydia. Grotty Botty.
- Ali comments, somewhat understandable to a normal person, that 4 cups is all that she’ll need. No, he’s mistaken. She needs 8 ‘muggles’. To just go on the shelves. Obviously. Drinking out of a mug is so over-rated. She’ll probably just use one of her 687 terracotta pots for her morning coffee. She might wash it first. Might not.
- Ali is ‘driving her mental making so much noise’. He’s getting rid of her packaging tit. Obviously.
- I’m pretty certain viewing/reviewing her vlogs does not enrich my life in the slightest. But this tattle feed is hilarious. And she does make me look like I make good decisions in life. So thank you Lydia.
Sounds too interesting and now I don’t want to miss it
If you watch her vlogs, you’ll see that only about 0.000001 per cent is exaggerated. She literally says and does all of this tit. If I was more Lydia, I’d start affiliate linking my reviews for a small cost 
